You Swiped My Heart…
Swiper looked side to side, watching for any suckers to invigorate treasure from. He saw nothing. Thinking back to earlier, he zoned out, losing track of his surroundings. Creeper, Bob the minion, and him had had such an amazing time last night….…. Suddenly, out the corner of his eye, he saw a bright yellow ovary wearing overalls prancing across the beaten path. It was just Bob. Swiper began to tense up, his palms got sweaty, his knees got weak, he nearly vomited on his sweater already, and his fur began to tremble in excitement.
They say that when you see someone you love, your pupils dilate up to 250 percent. Swipers eyes were the size of dinner plates. He wasn't sure whether to approach his 2nd lover and risk embarrassment, or take the risk of spending another passionate night with it. What would Creeper think, Swiper and Bob spending time alone without him?
He decided what he thought was best. He left his hiding spot and approached the beautiful young lad. Bob looked down into Swiper's eyes and passionately whispered,
"Wow that sure was a bangin' rager last night, eh Swipy?" and winked seductively.
Swiper responded, with a sheepish look,
"Oh… Uh hey Bob… It sure was… Anyways, uhh… Wanna hang out sometime?" he blushed, thinking about the so-called "bangin' rager" Bob had brought up.
"Yeah of course Swipy! You're one of the chillest dawgs to swing with!" exclaimed Bob, a glimmer in his eye.
Suddenly, a towering shadow appeared in the distance. Swiper could notice that shape anywhere, he last saw it last night at the "bangin' rager" looming over him. He heard the signature "Ssss" sound and nearly vomited of nervousness all over his Tupac sweater, for it was Creeper. He swaggered out of the shadows, wearing shaded glasses and a backwards hat. He yelled "SSSSSSSS". Swiper took a moment to use his translating skills he acquired in Harvard. Oh no! Creeper thought Bob and Swiper were chilling without him!
"No! Uh… Creeper! It's not what you think!" yelled Swiper, his worry obvious in his voice.
"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssSSSSSSSSSsssssSSSSSSSSSS!" hissed Creeper, rage practically seething from his pixels.
Creeper whipped out his switchblade, prepared to bust Swiper a new one. Swiper knew what had to be done. He took off his sweater, revealing his six pack and chiseled biceps. Creeper popped his switchblade, yet in a surprising turn of events, it turned out to be a giant dragon dildo. In his deepest and most confident voice, Creeper exclaimed,
"SSSSSsssssSSSssssSSSsssSsSex!"
Swiper removed his superman pants and underwear, throwing them in a messy pile on the dirt path. Bob did the same with his overalls, adding to the pile in which Swiper's garments adorned the floor. The trio began doing their favorite activity.
A watcher spotted them from the surrounding shrubbery. Tai Lopez, world-renowned millionaire, stared into the events going down. He moved his divine lips, uttering but one word…
"Knowledge."
THE END?