Disclaimer: As you probably already know, yet it still must be stated, I own nothing. Simple as that.

I dread this day. Nothing is going right. I got up the courage to ask Grissom out finally and he turns me down. Can you believe that? He doesn't even think about it he just does it like that, like he already knows his decision. He's flirted with me and such than he's just treating me like crap and I'm fucking tired of it. If he can't see what's right in front of him that maybe he doesn't deserve me! That's it! I'm not good enough for him so I'm going to just stop thinking about him. I'm going to forget that I even liked him.

I hear a knock at the door but I don't get up. I don't want to get up, not right now. I just want to sit here in the corner on my floor with my beer and try to forget about all my stupid little feelings. I don't want to do anything but that. I need to do that. I can hear more knocking and I get up just because I want it to go away. I want it to stop and I want them to leave me the hell alone. I open the door and there stands my beautiful female co-worker, Catharine Willows. She is truly the last person I would ever think that would be over in my time of need.

We just stare at each other before she says something, I'm not really sure what she's saying, I'm so damned focused on my thoughts. "Sara?" I hear her call out so I put all my attention on her so I can actually know what ever it was that she was asking me or telling me before. She must have been reading my mind that I got no part of what I said before because next thing I know she's telling me, "I said, might I be able to come in?" I looked at her letting the words soak in before opening the door more and stepping aside so she could step in.

I don't think to say anything so I don't. I just walk back to my little corner letting her look around the apartment. It's slightly dirty, it's kinda small, but it's mine, its big enough for me. That's all that there's ever going to be, just me. I have no good luck with love, smarts I have, but love, no. Not love. She's talking again but I don't know what she's saying. I hear the door close but I don't look up to see if she's still there or not. I want to, but I can't. Before I even know what's happening she's sitting down beside me with a beer bottle of her own. She's not talking; at least I don't think she is. I take a swig from my own beer bottle before looking up at her. She's giving me one of those Catharine looks that she likes to give; I just can't decipher what it really means at the moment. I look back down hugging my knees close to me kinda just staring into my beer bottle looking at it as if it's my own life I'm sitting here drinking away.

I let out a sigh without even noticing that I've done so and that brings me back to life.

"Sara?" She's calling my name.

"Sara? Hello…" She wants me to answer her.

"Sara!!" I finally bring myself to look up at her. She looks worried but I don't think anything of it, should I?

"Yes?" My voice is low and barely a whisper but she can hear it and she acknowledges it. She gives me a soft smile, it suits her so very well and I can't even help but to smile back at her. She just looks so sweet in that moment.

Catharine looked away once more, "When's the last time you've had anything to eat?" It's been awhile but I'm not hungry. Well, my mind is telling me to eat something but my body doesn't want anything right now and currently, my body is wining this fight.

So, I lie, it's just a simple little white lie to get her off my case for the moment being, "Not long before you came over."

She's looking at me unbelieving like and I simply remember than that she has a CSI and has probably already had a good look around the apartment and also that she has a teenage daughter and can probably spot a lie right on the spot, so I flash her a smile than look back down into the beer bottle which is now my cruel hated thing called a life. I wonder for a moment if my analogy even makes sense but settle for it makes perfect sense to me so everyone else will just have to wonder what the hell it means if they can't already tell.

I'm not sure when she got up but she had because when I hear a noise I look over to spot her in my kitchen area. She's talking again but I've stopped caring by now, I just want to be left alone, I want her to just leave me alone so I can be swallowed up by my own self pity. I know she won't give up that easily though, no, that's not like her at all. So, I mine as well give up and just let her do whatever the hell it is that she wants to do now so later I can be left alone.

She's near me again and calling my name. I don't want to answer. I don't want to know what she wants right now. I don't care. Really, I don't. Okay, so maybe I'm trying more to convince myself that I don't care but it's true. Me and Catherine aren't even friends so I don't know what the hell she's doing here, I don't know what she wants from me but I assure you, I won't let her use me. I've been used my entire life and I won't be again.

She's in front of me now and looking at me. She's got this worried look on her face; I don't think it's real. It looks real but she has no reason to be worried about me. You worry about friends and Catherine and I aren't friends so she should just stop now with all the faking and crap because it's really getting to bug the shit out of me. I really just want to be alone with my beer so I can be left to my thoughts but she just won't leave. Maybe she had nothing better to do, yeah, that's it, she had nothing better to do so she came over here so she could look at me and probably feel better about herself. I've got her all figured out.

"How bout we go to the store? After we get some food in here I'll make you some breakfast." I suppose I could use some food and I don't have to cook so I just nod to Catherine's question.

She leans her hand out for me to take so I take it and she helps me up but I stumble a little bit and fall into her. I expect to fall over but we don't, she's got me. Catherine holds me there for a moment before asking me, "Are you okay?" I can't even think of answering. Her arms just feel so… good around me. I like being there. I feel kinda… kinda safe. I'm in such a calm state right now and I don't want her to move and I just want to stay there in someone's arms and have the feeling that at least someone cares about me even if it won't last.

I lay my head on her shoulder and I don't even know why I did it or that I had done it for that matter but I don't want to move it. I close my eyes and I've blocked out everything but this feeling. It's strange, I suddenly feel very tired and we're walking and before I know it I'm lying down on my bed and Catherine's tucking me in and telling me she'll be back in awhile. The light turns off and the door closes and I miss her warmth. I simply turn over and cuddle up closely to my pillow and try to create that felling again but it doesn't work but I still drift off into a deep sleep, something I've needed for awhile.