Take One

When Moses first opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling. He sat up, finding himself in a circular room, complete with a certain small, dark-haired former ninja scribbling away by the staircase.

Then the splitting headache set in, and the full events of last night came rushing back to him in full, glorious Technicolor.

Well. Full, glorious Technicolor with a few gaping holes, anyway.

Jay looked up. "You're finally awake, are you, bandit?" he said. "It took you long enough."

"Jay," Moses said urgently, trying to keep the blind panic out of his voice. "Tell me I didn't do everythin' I think I did?"

The almost-vicious smile flitting across Jay's face told him he had, and then some. "Well, I don't know, bandit. It depends on what you think you did."

"Jay, just tell me."

"You really want to know? Honestly, I think I'd prefer ignorance in your place. Especially since you must be used to it."

Jay was enjoying this a little too much, in Moses' opinion. Bastard. "Jay."

Jay shrugged. "If you insist...you showed up on my doorstep. Crying, bandit. In the middle of the night."

Moses groaned loudly.

"It was about Giet, I think. Honestly, I couldn't understand what you were saying. ...what possessed you to come here, by the way? There are plenty of people you could have come crying to who live much, much closer."

"You're askin' me this now?"

"You weren't exactly in any state to answer questions then."

"I--" Moses put his head in his hands. "Hell, I don' know. I...didn't want to go whinin' to Senel or someone and make 'em feel like they had t' feel sorry for me, or somethin'."

"So you came to me instead?" Jay said incredulously.

"I knew you wouldn' feel bad for me. Y'never do."

There was a long silence. "...ridiculous," Jay muttered under his breath, finally. "You're going to buy me a new shirt, by the way. I had to burn the last one after you rubbed your face in it."

"Y' never let up, either."

"I will if you ever stop being stupid." The tone of Jay's voice indicated that he didn't find that a very likely possibility. "...you were clinging to my legs. It took me half an hour just to calm you down. After which you started going on about my hair, and how--" he makes a very pained-in-my-soul face here-- "'pretty' it was."

So was it down? Because yeah, that's fucking sexy-- "...fuck," was what Moses said aloud.

"Then you started babbling about how you didn't think your...feelings for me were...brotherly--that reminds me, when did I agree to be your brother anyway? I don't recall doing such a thing. Then you started crying again."

Moses buried his face in his knees. "...Jay? Kill me now, will ya?"

"Not that I wouldn't love to, bandit," Jay said, "but your little troop of savages would want my head. And then I'd have to kill them, too."

"Right. Right." Moses reminded himself that he had not yet died from embarrassment, and that life was a valuable, valuable thing. "C-could ya maybe just forget I said that part about the--that part, then?"

There was another long silence. "...I'd prefer not to, actually," Jay said stiffly.

"...oh."

"...you're buying me a new pair of shoes, too. You threw up on the old ones last night."

-o-

Take Two

When it came to finding clear, concise ways to describe the situation before him, there was only one that immediately jumped to Moses' mind.

"Oh, hell."

This was the point at which Jay sat up and made several strangled noises. Moses had always been impressed by the breadth of Jay's strangled noises.

"I," Jay said. "I. You are in my bed. Bandit, why are you in my bed. Get out of my bed."

Moses didn't move. "Oh, hell," he repeated. "What did we just do?"

Jay gaped. "You don't remember," he said. He had this look like he was going to be violently ill. Violently ill all over Moses. "You honestly don't remember."

"Oh, I remember, all right. ...wait, does this mean--"

Jay sank back down onto the bed with a long-suffering sigh. "--no, bandit."

"Aw, man..."

"It's not as though I wanted--" Jay broke off and made several more strangled noises (this time accompanied by vague hand motions!) before continuing. "Obviously, I was--I--Norma spiked the punch," Jay muttered into the pillow.

"Quit talkin' so loud, will ya? My head hurts." Moses paused. "Wait, didn't Will say anything?"

"Apparently he has a very low alcohol tolerance," Jay said dryly.

"Could have gone without knowing that," Moses said. "...my ass hurts."

"Don't whine, bandit."

"I can't believe I let you top."

Jay's smile was beatific. "Perhaps you decided to show a glimmer of intelligence, bandit."

Smug bastard, Moses thought for about the millionth time. "Oh, hey, now! That don't count. I was drunk. You were drunk."

"Don't make excuses, bandit."

Moses scowled. "It ain't an excuse." He paused. "...so are y' sure about the no sex thing?"

"...yes!"

The pause was about two seconds longer than last time, though, and so Moses considered that a personal victory.

One out of two wasn't bad. Although come to think of it, he still owed Jay those shoes...

FIN