A/N: After a season 2 and 3 Office marathon yesterday, with my laptop close by, this story just sort of sprouted, really and so here it is. This is going to be a chapter story…that I have already decided. This is going to be a little different. Post-casino night. A slightly different take on the most heartbreaking episode. Hope you enjoy!

Thanks a whole bunch to my beta ktface3 who took some time to fix numerous grammatical mistakes that I always seem to miss. Thanks!!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Office. I'm a 21 year old, working full time. That's it.

Her heart was starting to race. Beads of perspiration were starting to rise to her forehead and her throat was losing moisture. She didn't know what to do. It had started out as friendly banter—joking and teasing like normal for their friendship—but then everything changed. His voice became soft, and it threw her off. She was sure she'd never heard him speak in such a way before. She wasn't sure she knew how to respond.

He was continuing to talk, his confession not ending.

"Probably not good timing, I know that, I just…"

She finally found her voice, "What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?"

She sounded much more abrupt than she meant to. But she was struggling. Stinking fast.

"I just needed you to know…once."

"Well, I um…I can't."

"Yeah," his voice dropped and so did his head. When he finally lifted it again she could see a tear brimming in the corner of his eye.

"You have no idea…"

"Don't do that."

"…what your friendship means to me." She was trying desperately to hold on to their unique friendship, even around his confession, but in her heart she knew that wasn't going to be possible.

"Come on, I don't want to do that," his voice was shaky and with those words her heart dropped. "I want to be more than that."

"I can't," she said again. The tear slipped over his bottom eyelid and started to course down his cheek. "I'm so sorry, if you misinterpreted things. It's probably my fault."

"It's not your fault," he said his eyes looking all around. Everywhere but on her. "I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship."

He was walking away and she was glued to the cement. She had just broken his heart. She knew that and it was killing her. She was still trying to figure out where that had come from. She probably should have saw it coming; the clues were there. Things that she had just seen as friendly exchanges now seemed intimate and special. Her heart was torn.

She did the only thing she could think of. Making her way up to the office was easy. Everyone was busy in the warehouse, so she snuck in quickly and quietly. Her feet found her at his desk and her fingers were dialing before she could even think about it.

"Hello?" her mother's voice answered overly cheery and Pam grimaced. She couldn't understand how anyone could be that cheery. Not on a night like this.

"Mom," Pam's voice came out in barely a whisper. "Mom, I need to talk to you."

"What is it Pam?" The tone in her mother's voice was different, softer as she came to realize that Pam was upset. "What is wrong? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine physically," Pam answered, "but emotionally…"

"What did Roy do sweetie?"

"Nothing," Pam answered honestly. "Roy doesn't have anything to do with this phone call mom."

Janet Beesly took a deep breath and waited for her daughter to continue. She was pleasantly surprised that her soon-to-be son-in-law wasn't the cause of conflict this particular night. Heaven knows how many times she'd had to listen to her daughter rant, cry and even scream about him over the years. She could only wonder now what caused this impromptu call from her oldest daughter.

"It's Jim."

"Jim? You mean your friend from work Jim?"

"Yeah," she answered with a sigh. "He… oh mom, he told me he was in love with me tonight."

Janet's eyes were open in complete shock. "When did this happen?"

"About ten minutes ago," Pam answered quietly.

"Did you say anything back to him?"

"No," Pam's voice was shaky, "I didn't know what to say."

"Pam honey, you're engaged."

"Yes I know."

"How do you feel about him?"

"I don't know mom," Pam told her, "he's my best friend."

"From everything you've told me about him he seems like a good guy."

"Yeah," Pam said with a small smile, "he's great."

"Are you in love with him too?"

"I…yeah, I think I am."

"Then you need to be honest with Roy…"

Pam heard her mom's words but was distracted by the squeak of the office door opening. Jim's tall form filled the doorway and she panicked.

"Mom, mom I've got to go."

"Call me later honey and do what you feel in your heart."

"Okay, I will. Bye."

Pam clicked the phone down just in time to turn around and run into Jim's chest. Her words were quiet and small.

"Listen Jim…"

But then his lips were on hers. Gently and lovingly pressing against her lips, begging for a response. She was quick to give one. Her arms found their way around his neck as she leaned into his kiss. It was intoxicating, all of it. The smell of his cologne, the feel of his sweater against her arm, the touch of his lips against hers, it was overwhelming her senses. Just as she was about to lean farther into his kiss he pulled away slightly and pressed his forehead to hers. A small grin graced his lips.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he said quietly, his voice raspy.

"Me too." The words escaped her mouth before she realized what she was saying. It really seemed as if the truth was revealed under the intoxication of his kiss. She quickly tried to cover it, "I think we're just drunk."

Jim's eyebrows furrowed together, "I'm not drunk. Are you drunk?"

She couldn't lie to him, "No."

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her again, but she gently pressed her hand to his chest. "Jim."

"You're really going to marry him?" It wasn't really a question and Pam wasn't really sure how to answer. Probably because she didn't even know the answer herself.

"I don't… I don't know Jim."

"Okay," he said with a sad tone to his voice, and his hands linked through hers for a split second and gave them a tight squeeze.

"Jim," Pam's voice was strained and she held on to his hands, afraid to let them go.

"No Pam," he said quietly, "I don't want to hear those words again, okay?"

"But Jim…"

"I can't do it Pam," Jim said and pulled his hands from hers. "If you tell me you can't again, I…"

"Jim I have to think about all of this," Pam told him, "I mean…this is a big, huge thing. And I need…"

"Time."

"Yeah, I need time."

Jim nodded as he took a step back. "I need to tell you something. I spoke with Jan last week about transferring branches."

Pam wasn't sure she had heard him right. "Transferring? You're transferring?"

"I didn't say I was," Jim answered quickly, "I had just thought about it. Made the first steps really."

"Where?"

"Stamford."

"Connecticut?"

"Yeah," Jim nodded. "I haven't made my final decision yet."

Pam took a deep breath and her hands wringed together nervously. This was the most awkward conversation they had ever had and she wasn't even sure what would come out of it. She wasn't even sure she knew what she wanted to come out of it. Then again, she rarely knew exactly what she wanted.

"What, what will… how, I mean…"

"It's okay Pam," Jim said and shoved his hands deep into his pockets and rocked back onto his heels. "I guess…I mean whatever or however you answer will help make that decision."

"Jim…"

"That will be what the decision comes down to. I can't… stick around here anymore and just be friends…"

"Jim…"

"I have to give Jan an answer by Wednesday," Jim told her. "I have to go."

"Jim…"

"I know it isn't much time," Jim said, rubbing the back of his neck. "But it is all I can give right now. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah," Pam answered with a nod of her head, "I'll talk to you later."

She watched his back as he disappeared behind the wood door to their office and sank down into his office chair. The tears spilled over onto her cheeks and she didn't bother to try and wipe them away. Her entire world was crashing down around her. Feelings she hadn't allowed herself to admit were bubbling up and she was powerless to stop them.

Then again, she really didn't want to. She sat in his chair and cried until her head hurt and no more tears would come. She looked down at her dress and stared at the tears stains that now peppered the silver-blue material. She wanted to draw some significant tie to the stains and her emotions, but nothing came to her mind. She was exhausted.

Roy had the truck and she was almost positive she was the last one in the building. That thought paralyzed her for a brief moment. She gingerly picked up the phone and dialed the local taxi company's number.

Twenty minutes later was she changing into her favorite sweat pants in the comfort of her bathroom. It was accompanied by a frown on her pink lips as she listened to Roy's incessant snoring coming from their bedroom.

This wasn't the life that she had planned on having. Being engaged for over three years now, unhappy, and not completely in love with her fiancé anymore. She hated admitting that really, she didn't want to be that girl, stuck in a life that was quickly going nowhere. But there was still something with Roy, a comfort that she couldn't just erase. She did love him, it just wasn't the same as it had been years before.

But could she forget a nearly ten-year courtship? Could she really turn her back on a man that she'd spent over a third of her life with? Did she want to?

What would happen if she did? A romance with him was something she'd dreamed about since the day he'd walked into the office. She was just afraid that reality wouldn't measure up to the dreams that had peppered her sleep.

She didn't know what she was going to do.

A/N: Um, well, I guess it is time for me to now beg for your reviews. I only feel really encouraged to update when I get reviews. But, who doesn't, you know? Okay, I'm going to quit rambling while you press the little purple button and fill in the box. Thanks!