"I have to go, Roza," Dimitri murmurs as he pulls a t-shirt over his head, and I try to suppress a sigh as he leans down, pressing his lips to mine. I only nod, not in the mood to argue about him leaving before the crack of dawn. I know he only leaves because he's afraid of getting caught with his apprentice, as he so often calls me. I can't complain, though, because the only time I truly feel like myself, is when Dimitri is with me.
"I love you," he says, a soft sigh leaving his lips as well as he laces his shoes, and I put a hand on his arm, unable to see him go without saying goodbye. It's not fair to him or to me. If I don't say anything, then I'll regret it for the rest of the day.
"I love you, too, Dimitri," I say softly as I feel his fingers thread through mine, and I look up to see his chocolate brown eyes watching me, his brown hair falling into his face. I resist the urge to reach up and push the stray locks away. "This just gets hard sometimes, but we'll make it work." I say, not sure if I'm trying to ressure him or my own conscience.
"We always do," he says before I feel the bed shift as he moves away and walks out of my room. I run a had through my hair and lean against the headboard. I steal a glance at the clock, noticing I still have a couple of hours before I'm supposed to be awake. I close my eyes as I crawl back under my blanket.
Sleep doesn't find me like I had hoped it would. Its as if my eyelids have memorized everything about Dimitri. Whenever I close my eyes, he's the only person I see. Sometimes I wonder if that's what it feels like for him, though I somehow always find ways to doubt it. I typically blame my age, or the fact that he's my mentor. Everything about us is wrong, which is why I often question why it feels right.
Dimitri still doesn't approve of us acting on our feelings, but I suppose the connection was too strong to ignore. I'm a senior now, for which we are both thankful. It's difficult to be in a relationship like this, especially when you know it will be months, or even years before the first soul is allowed to know. That's why he leaves me every morning, because he can't let anyone know he fell in love with his student who is seven years younger than him.
A knock on the door startles me back into reality, and I wonder who would be visiting me at seven at night, when the school is supposed to be sleeping. I climb out of the warmth of my bed and get up, rolling my eyes at the persistant knocking. "Don't break my door down!" I call out as I swing the door open. I furrow my eyebrows as I Dimitri brushes past me and back into the room. "What happened?"
He lets out a string of Russian profanties and tugs on his hair frustratedly. "There are more dhampirs outside than usual. I can't get out," he says as he look back up into my eyes. I inhale a slow breath and nod. I know how to sneak out, but Dimitri's larger frame will attract more attention than I would.
"I can call Lissa," I say quietly, and his eyes snap up to mine, shocked. I almost never ask Lissa to use her Spirit magic, but I'm afraid that if I don't, Dimitri will lose his job, and I couldn't handle that guilt. I would crush under the weight of losing him. So that's why I pick up my phone and dial my best friend.