Edited! I put more spaces into it.
Hello everyone! :)
That's my first Mai HiMe ShizNat fic.. My first language isn't English so please bear with me. I'm still searching for a beta, soo.. if you are interested, feel free to tell me :D
The idea of the story has been on my mind for quite a while now and I just needed to write it down or it wouldn't stop to bother my thoughts.. ;)
At the end of the chapter is another A/N - please read it! ;)
The rating is probably going up with the next chapters (I guess I don't have to tell you why..^^) You have been warned. :D
The characters could seem a little out of character.. though, I tried my best to not let it be to devious!
Okay, enough talk, I hope that you'll enjoy! :)
Sadly, I don't own anything! -_-
Emerald eyes opened slowly and focused on the surroundings. It's completely dark, the only light came from the red letters of an alarm clock on the nightstand. Nothing could be heard, only the slight breathing of the person in the room. She sighed and climbed out of the king sized bed, strolling to the bathroom and switching on the light.
04:37 A.M.. nearly two and an half hours before the alarm is going to ring. I guess that's it with sleep for the night, again.
Natsuki sighed and stared at herself in the mirror. Dark circles around her eyes and dull emeralds stared back. Her skin nearly as pale as the wall behind her.
I really should consider taking sleeping pills. But then.. Nah, who cares. I wonder if she is there already..
The blunette splashed cold water into her face, brushed her teeth and straightened her hair as good as possible. She left her apartment, missing breakfast again and headed towards her motorcycle - a blue Ducati Streetfighter 848. It's the only thing she bought for herself after her mother died. The bike meant everything to her.
When she turned on the engine, she smiled. The sound and the feeling of her treasure always had that affect on her. She carefully pulled it out of the parking lot and put on her helmet. She didn't want to wear her protective clothing, so she drove off without turning back.
Natsuki saw her goal after only fifteen minutes. Normally, you would need at least 25 minutes to get here. But due to the early hour and her driving style, she reached it faster. The sign above the entrance read 'Fuka City Hospital'. She parked her bike and entered the building, her face devoided of any emotion.
The nurse at the front desk looked up and just smiled, everyone here knew her. She just nodded and continued her way inside the building, taking the stairs to the third floor. The blunette disliked elevators like other people disliked ghosts or cockroaches.
Before she opened the door that led to the claimed floor, the black letters caught her attention. She entered through here nearly every day and always stared at them for a few seconds, before leaving them behind her, at the cold metal door. 'Internal medicine'..
The biker walked down the corridor, knowing exactly where she had to go.
"Natsuki?"
The blunette spun around "Yohko-sensei?" A middle aged woman with chin-long, wavy brown hair and a lab coat approached her
"how are you, Natsuki?"
said woman answered without a motion of her face "I'm fine."
"I see.. Are you visiting Mai-chan again?"
"Yeah. Is she here?"
"It's only five A.M. and you are asking me if a young woman is at the hospital on a Monday?" The doctor arched a brow.
"Yeah? So.. is she?"
Yohko sighed and nodded slowly "of course. I guess it would be a wonder, if she wasn't here.."
Natsuki gave the doctor a short nod "thanks."
"You're welcome. Say-"
"Sagisawa-sensei!" a nurse appeared beside them "the new patient is awake now. She woke up about 15 minutes ago and is already able to sit again."
Yohkos face became professional again "that's good. I will be there immediately."
"Okay" the nurse turned around and hurried away.
Natsuki stared into blue eyes "new patient?"
"Yes, she came here yesterday. She's a year older than you and her condition isn't as bad as Takumi-kuns. But I guess that's only a matter of time.. I should get going. Do you want to come with me? Her room is right next to Takumi-kuns."
"Sure.."
They walked both in silence down the corridor until Yohko stopped in front of the door next to Takumis room.
"Maybe you could stop by here sometime. Due to her condition, she doesn't have friends. It would be good, if she could socialize with someone."
Natsuki snorted "Yeah, sure. Me socialize with someone. Be serious, Yohko."
The doctor frowned "I am.. See you, Natsuki."
The brunette opened the door and Natsuki caught a glimpse of tawny and crimson staring at her. She froze and felt something twist within her stomach. Yohko closed the door and the girl sitting on the hospital bed disappeared with her.
Natsuki placed her hand on top of her stomach and frowned slightly. Strange.. What was that? I've never felt something like this before.. Nah, I must be hungry. I haven't eaten in a few days. I guess Mai is expecting me already.
The blunette quietly opened the next door and entered the room. A night light burned and bathed the place in a warm, caramel colored air. A orange-haired girl with violet eyes looked up from the chair she sat on.
"Natsuki?" She looked surprised and stood up "what are you doing here already?"
"'Morning Mai. I woke up early and thought I would come by. Don't have anything to do."
Mai approached the bluentte and crossed her arms below her busty chest. "I told you to sleep. You look terrible!"
"Yeah, yeah" Natsuki waved her hand in front of her face "how is he?" Her emerald orbs focused on the boy laying on the bed
"he slept through the night. It's getting better every hour since the last attack."
"I see.."
Mai frowned and eyed Natsuki "what happened?"
The blunette stiffened and returned to look at the orange-haired girl "what do you mean?"
"when you entered the room, you looked confused." "Nothing. I just met Yohko-sensei. She told me I should socialize with the new girl next to Takumis room. You know I don't like doing stuff like that."
Violet eyes stared at the ceiling and Mai lifted her index finger to her chin "I think, you should do it."
Natsukis eyes widened and she stood agape "What?!"
"Shh! Don't talk so loud! You are going to wake Takumi up!"
Natsuki felt heat rush to her cheeks and mumbled a "sorry.." emeralds glanced at curious violets. "You know that I am not good with stuff like that. Socialize. Yeah, sure.. I've got a friend. I don't need more than one."
Mai smiled lightly "I'm honored. But you should try it. Just say hello. If you don't like her, you don't have to meet her again, you know."
"The blunette winced "Mai!"
"You got to know me too. You can do it."
Natsuki snorted. She remembered the day she got to know Mai like it was yesterday.
eight year old Natsuki clutched her little stuff dog and crept through the corridors of the hospital. Her mother had to go to an emergency and she tried to bridge the time until she came back.
She was used to being alone. She had been alone as long as she remembered. Her only friend had been her dog, Duran. He died a few weeks ago, run over by a truck. Her mother gave her the little stuff animal in return, so that she wouldn't be all alone. But.. The little plush toy couldn't replace her friend. It didn't 'talk' with her, it didn't show her that it loved her, it was only warm, when she held it for some time.
No one was able to spend time with her, the nurses and other doctors had work to do. Natsuki looked around, no one even realized her. She hasn't been that lonely for a while. I'm not going to cry. I don't cry. I don't want to be a burden. I'm a big girl! Big girls don't cry. Natsuki felt a tear in the corner of her eye and heard sobbing noises.
Sobbing? The little girl touched her cheek and tried to wipe her tears away, but there weren't any. I'm not crying.. I'm not.. Who is crying? She twisted her head, searching for the source.
There. In the middle of the corridor stood a girl, orange hair hung in front of her face and her little hands frantically rubbed her eyes, trying to stop the tears from pouring down.
Natsuki slowly approached the girl, gripping her stuff dog a little tighter. She stopped a foot away from the crying girl and bit her lower lip, not knowing what she should do. She never saw someone cry like that.
"H-Here." She pushed her plush toy between the girls arms and looked away.
The sobbing stopped and the girl lifted her head. Her puffy violet eyes showed surprise and she slowly grabbed the dog. "Thank you.." she tilted her head to the sight and eyed the blunette interrogative.
"N-Natsuki. I'm Natsuki."
"Thank you, Natsuki-san. My name is Mai, Mai Tokiha. Nice to meet you." She extended her hand, waiting for the other girl to shake it.
Natsuki skeptically eyed the offered hand but took it after a few seconds "only Natsuki."
"What?"
"Just call me Natsuki. I don't like honorifics.."
The orange head smiled brightly, seemingly forgetting the reason she cried "then I'm just Mai."
A small smile crept its way to Natsukis face "nice to meet you too, Mai."
That's been nearly twelve years ago. Mais brother Takumi collapsed for the first time and was hospitalized. The young girl was afraid because no one would tell her what happened to her little brother. Natsuki met her nearly every day till then and they became best friends. Natsukis mother died three years later, Mai has been the only person Natsuki spoke to at that time. She convinced the blunette to speak with Yohko about the accident because the little girl was with her mother at that time. Natsuki never told someone how it happened, how the car crashed through the guardrail and into the sea.
"Natsuki?"
said woman blinked "huh?"
"stop dreaming, I said I will go with you."
"With me?" emerald eyes narrowed "where to?"
"The girl Yohko-sensei mentioned."
"Why?"
"Because you need to know more people. Yohko-sensei has been here a minute ago, you didn't even notice her, did you?"
"No.."
"We talked a little about the girl. She told me that she doesn't have friends, just like you.."
"I have a friend!" Natsuki argued
"I know, I know. But it would be good for you to have more people to talk to, you know. Sometimes a little change isn't that bad."
"I like everything the way it is."
Mai crossed her arms again and stared at Natsuki for a moment "really? You like it that you aren't sleeping, that you aren't eating, that you are alone most of the time?"
The blunettes face hardened "is that what you think about me? A lonely girl that is drowning in her own sorrow? Her own self?"
Mais face softened "Natsuki.."
said woman turned around and rushed to the door "you know what, forget it Mai."
with that, she opened the door and dashed away. She heard Mai shout her name before she was out of earshot.
Stupid Mai! I'm not lonely! I'm.. I'm.. Maybe a little.. Argh! Natsuki ruffled her hair. She knows exactly that I don't like to talk about stuff like that! I know all of that.. I know it.. But it's not that easy to change something. I'm afraid.. Everytime something changed, I fell deeper in the darkness because afterwards, something terrible happened. I think I wouldn't be able to stand another blow. The blunette closed her eyes and leaned against the nearest wall, letting her head fall against it. I should head back. I know that she didn't want to offend me. It's just.. I don't know what to do.. Natsuki pushed herself off from the wall and slowly walked back towards Takumis room.
She stopped when she saw Mai walk into the room next to Takumis. What is she doing?
Natsuki slowly made her way towards the room and pressed herself against the wall next to the door. It stood slightly open and she could hear Mai talking to the foreign girl.
"I heard that my brother's got the same disease as you.. I know that it's a little rude to ask that, but how do you live with it? How do you.. You know, spent your free time when everyone is doing things that you can't do? I always try to make life as good as possible for Takumi, but I don't want him to overstrain himself."
Natsuki could hear the uneasiness in Mais voice, but she knew that Mai is searching for a way to make life as enjoyable as possible for her brother. She's trying that as long as Natsuki knew her. The blunette tried to understand what the other girl answered, but it was to low for her to hear it.
"I see.. You know, I've got a friend. She's a little like you. Yohko-sensei wanted her to meet you because I am the only friend she ever had. She thought that you two would understand each other beause of that. But.. She is afraid. Afraid of the future, of something new. I think that she is lonely all the time, but she never tells me. She always tries to make me feel at ease, to comfort me. I want to do the same for her, but I can see it in her eyes. I can see the emptiness. I never managed to fill it.."
Natsuki felt her heart ache. She knew that Mai always tried to distract her, and she knew that she always tried to play along. I know that I never managed to fool her.. But I never knew, that it bothered her so much.. The blunette felt the start of a headache and a little dizzy. Geez.. Mai shouldn't talk like that..
"Probably. I still hope that she will find her happiness. That she will find a person that loves her the way she is. Unconditionally. A person that is able to dispose of her sorrow. She is my best friend after all."
Natsuki closed her eyes, the headache became stronger and the dizziness let her stagger a little. I guess I will tell her that I'm grateful for everything she did.
The blunette opened the door and entered the room. Violet and crimson focused on her
"Hi." Natsuki felt herself being drawn to the crimson once again. Those eyes.. I've never seen.. something this beautiful..
The crimson eyed girl smiled and eyed Natsuki "hello. And who might you be?"
This voice.. The blunette felt her vision blur "Natsuki.."
"Natsuki-chan? That's a lovely name."
"Natsuki? What are you doing here?"
Emerald met violet for a second and then returned to crimson "I've been looking for you."
The tawny haired woman smirked "ara, for me?"
The knot in Natsukis stomach returned and it felt like her head would split every second now. She grimaced in pain and her hand grabbed her head. She could see the smile on the crimson eyed girls face falter and felt herself slowly topple over.
"Natsuki?!"
The last thing Natsuki saw before darkness overwhelmed her, were the worried crimsons she felt herself drown in.
A/N: That's the edited chapter. I only put spaces into it, soo.. There still are Errors. I'm sorry. But I hope you were able to enjoy it a little more like that - that is, if you enjoyed it at all.^^
Please leave a Review! :)
Chapter songs:
Writing poems - Ludovico Einaudi (Natsukis flashback)
Crawling - Linkin Park lyrics (Natsukis theme):
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, Confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never-ending
Controlling, I can't seem
to find myself again
My walls are closing in
Without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced
that there's just too much pressure to take
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, Reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...
to find myself again
My walls are closing in
Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced
that there's just too much pressure to take
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing, confusing what is real
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming
Confusing what is real
This lack of self-control I fear is never-ending
Controlling
Confusing what is real