Chat-line
AN: This is just a little bit of Cabin Pressure fluff that driftes into my head after Caroline said "That's an intercom not a chatline Arthur." There is no excuse. How I think explaining politics to Arthur would turn out.

"Umm... Hello, good morning! Yes good morning sounds better, more cheerful. Because you're saying the morning is good, or at least that my morning is good. I hope yours is good too, is it?"

"Yes? Welcome to Sexy-talk, what are you wearing baby?"

"If you don't mind I'd rather just chat, you know like normal, like we were in a... bar? No not a bar, I don't have my cool hat on. Erm, in an airport? No wait, I'd have to say things like "welcome to MJN air" and "please fasten you seatbelts please" and you'd have to complain about me getting you drinks order wrong which is a little unfair since both types of water are kind of sparkly. No, can we just chat?"

"You do realise that this is sexy talk chat-line and you are getting charged by the minute regardless?"

"Well yes, but Skip's busy being ill and Douglas is busy flying the plane – I didn't know there were mountains in the channel, they must get really wet – and Mum's busy being busy. So I thought I'd chat to someone else. Is that okay with you? Because usually I chat with Lizzie or Margaret."

"Margaret?"

"She usually says she's Vivian until she realises its me. She's like a spy with a secret codename and she's like magic, because I never have to say my name, she just knows!"

"What is your name?"

"Arthur!"

"That's a nice name. So what do you want to talk about?"

"Erm, anything really. Did you know a female bear is called a sow? Ohh, we could talk about the weather or... politics! Except I don't really get it. I mean I know the PM rules the country, no wait, the Queen does that. Do you get it?"

"Well a bit-"

"- so basicly, there's 3 main groups the Liberals, the one that sounds like jam-"

"the Conservatives"

"and... Labour? And they depending on who people choose, take turns at running the country. But the Queen does the ruling and they let her as long as she doesn't cut anyone's head off or actually change anything without letting them think they wanted to do it first. But she's quite nice and because she helps with diplomatic something, like family... "relations" that was it, most people don't mind. Thanks I get that a bit more now. I think I have to go though, I reckon Mum and Douglas want their coffee now. I really enjoyed talking to you."

"You're welcome."

"Have a nice day, Bye! Coming, Mum."