"Say, have you ever kissed someone?"
It was dinner time at the training camp and everyone rejoiced at the nearest camp fire to cook their meats and chat, and it was with this sentence that Ymir decided to greet Christa that night. The blonde almost choked.
"—What?"
"Kissed. Have you ever kissed someone? You know with tongues and stuff," The tallest of the duo repeated with no signs of embarrassment whatsoever, while taking a chunky bite of the meat on her plate. Of course not, Ymir and shame rarely appeared in the same phrase. Christa sighed and rolled her eyes.
"What are you going on about now?"
"I don't know. I'm just interested in your past relationships."
"And why?" Christa scoffed, pulling the blanket covering her closer to her body. There was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.
"To see if I'm supposed to be jealous or not."
Christa's head turned in such a speed that she thought her neck had broken for a moment. She stared at Ymir wide-eyed. There she goes again, saying things that didn't make sense. Playing with her feelings like it was nothing – she always did that whenever she was bored. The worst part of everything was that damned smirk of hers, God, how she hated that smirk, that expression that fitted so well with her features, so damn well, it made her heart skip a beat. She caught herself staring at Ymir for too long again, capturing the freckles against the fire light, freckles that covered her cheeks and then the neck, that perfect jawline, the—
"You're drooling."
"Eh—? Am not!" Christa instinctively wiped her chin with a free hand just to see there was nothing wet actually there. Ymir's laugh resonated through the night and she poked the short girl's forehead.
"You're too naïve," And then she got up, ruffling Christa's hair and leaving her side. The blonde shook her head and puffed her cheeks. She was tired of Ymir making a fool out of her, tired of being called naïve, or weak, or innocent.
Christa Renz was not naïve.
And she was going to prove it.
The night grew old and Keith started yelling at everyone on camp to grab their things and go to sleep since tomorrow's training day was going to be hard. Not that it was needed an incentive to go to sleep, most soldiers were already too tired from today's training exercises. And so within a few minutes, the girls and boys bid themselves goodbye and moved in to their own dormitories to snuggle up on their blankets. The last one to show up had always been Ymir, but the girls were already used to it. They never asked where the tall, dark-skinned woman was, because they knew she would show up soon enough. So the only lit up candle was the one on top of Ymir's bed table. The girls were all asleep after a while, except for one blonde pipsqueak, who refused to sleep until Ymir walked through that door. Christa had plans for tonight.
A soft creak on the door alerted her from Ymir's presence. The woman walked slowly, afraid to wake up her comrades, and sit on her bed, taking off her clothes. Christa pretended to be asleep, but looked at her through half-closed eyelids. Her cheeks heated when she realized Ymir was changing clothes – after all she needed her pajamas as much as the next person – and squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for her to be done. When Ymir was done, she puffed out the candle, making the room darker than the night outside. Christa immediately opened her eyes.
Ahh, I can't see, dammit! She cursed mentally, forgetting to check on Ymir's exact position before the light went out. Christa sighed and waited for at least an hour in the dark; she knew Ymir was a light sleeper and could wake up with the smallest of sounds. After making sure the older girl had indeed dozed off, Christa slowly got up.
She placed a foot on the ground, and the wood creaked. Christa greeted her teeth; that floor was a nightmare for late-night escapades. But she wouldn't be defeated by it; she just had to trust Ymir was going to remain asleep. Their beds were next to each other, so Christa only had to walk 3 steps to get there. The problem was, even after touching the blanket that covered her friend, Christa had no idea where her face was, it was simply too dark.
She sighed, and prayed for Lady Luck to be on her side. Christa slowly bent over, her head aiming for Ymir's head, her lips aiming for Ymir's lips. And she touched them. Well, at least she touched something soft that was breathing. She brought herself up immediately, her face as red as the tomatoes Sasha stole from the kitchen, a hand on her lips and another covering her chest, feeling her accelerated heartbeat. Had she done it? Had she kissed Ymir?
"That was my cheek, shorty." A whisper in the night made Christa fall back and hit her butt on the floor. The whisper chuckled, and soon enough, Christa felt hands helping her up and putting her on someone's lap. It was a warm feeling, and the blonde immediately knew it was Ymir's lap she was sitting on. "Feeling wild, today?"
"Shut up!" Christa whispered back, burying her face on her hands. How stupid had she been, this plan would've never worked out. But instead of another joke, she just felt Ymir's hand pat her head slowly, gently, as if she was trying to calm her down.
"It's ok," Ymir said, and Christa could practically feel the sad smile on her voice. "It's better this way."
The blonde turned her head to try to face Ymir, and even though the darkness wouldn't let her see anything, she could still make out the freckles on Ymir's face. Out of instinct, Christa brought a hand to caress the woman's features, slowly touching her cheeks, then jawline, then lips. Ymir allowed herself to melt on Christa's touch for a while, but soon sighed and snapped back to reality.
"That's enough," She grabbed Christa's wrist, and put it down. "Let's try to get some sleep, alright?"
"None."
"What?"
"I've never kissed anyone. You know, with tongues and stuff," Christa mumbled, answering to Ymir's previous question at the camp. For the first time in a while, the dark-skinned woman didn't exactly know what to reply. Things didn't get easier when she felt Christa lie on her chest and nuzzle her neck.
"Christa—?"
"Say… Would you kiss me?"
Yes. That's what Ymir wanted to say, every fiber on her body, every muscle and nerve screamed in unison that yes, she would kiss her, she would kiss her a thousand times over and then hug her and then snuggle with her on the blankets of their bedroom, and Ymir would run away with Christa somewhere, some place the titans wouldn't be able to find them, and they would be happy forever, and Ymir would wake Christa up and a good morning kiss and Christa would smile at her, that smile that rarely appeared nowadays but that Ymir wouldn't hesitate to kill for it to appear more often. They would live together and kiss everyday if Christa wanted to; and Ymir would destroy anyone who ever made her Christa sad and hurt, because she loved her. Ymir loved Christa so much that it was almost impossible to bear.
"I can't." But reality was bittersweet, and Ymir couldn't live that fairytale. She had to be strong, or else she would be the one to hurt that little blonde girl. And she couldn't allow herself to do that.
Christa remained silent for a while, still nuzzling Ymir's neck. Then she spoke up.
"Then… Would you let me kiss you?"
"…"
Ymir couldn't say anything to that.
She felt Christa getting up. She adjusted herself on Ymir's lap and explored her face with her fingers, trying to find her lips. Grabbing Ymir's both cheeks with her hands, Christa leaned in, inch by inch, feeling the older girl's heartbeat quicken its beat. And then their faces were close, and then Christa felt Ymir's breath on her own lips, and then Christa closed their distance. It was awkward at first, Christa didn't exactly know what to do after their lips touched, but apparently Ymir had a little more experience in the subject as she felt the tall woman's lips move against hers.
Stop. Ymir's mind screamed at her. Stop. Please stop, stop, stop.
But she didn't want to stop, and suddenly an overwhelming amount of love filled up her chest and Ymir brought her hands to Christa's cheeks and kissed her strongly. They parted to breathe, but Ymir kissed her again. And again. She kissed Christa's lips, then cheeks, then both her eyes, then the tip of her nose, then forehead, and then she hugged her and Christa's arms encircled Ymir's strong body and she sobbed. She didn't know why she was sobbing – or maybe she did.
It was probably the same reason Ymir was crying too.
Christa let go of the hug and looked up. She could see better now, and Ymir's eyes were wet, so she brought a hand up to wipe her tears. "Am I that bad of a kisser?"
Ymir blinked and giggled, grabbing Christa's hand and placing a kiss on top of it. "It was ok. For your first, that is."
"It didn't have tongues and stuff."
"One step at a time, shorty."
Christa kissed her again.