Title: Misadventures Afloat
Author: SassySarcasm
Rating: T
Pairings: mentions of Tony/Ziva
Warnings: Language, Violence
Summary: Director of NCIS dead? Check. Does everyone think it's his fault? Check. Is the team being split up and sent to separate ends of the earth? Double check. Is he going to spend months as Agent Float trying not to go insane? Hell No.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
A/N: I wanted to write a story where Tony went off on his own, and operated on his own for a while. But I wanted to do it without Tony having to resign or go rouge, and what better time than when everyone thought he was agent afloat? This is the beginning of a story I might write more on later, for now it's staying a one-shot.
-0-0-0-
"I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
- FRENCH SOLDIER (John Cleese) in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
-0-0-0-
"Stay behind for a moment, Agent DiNozzo." Leon Vance, the Director of NCIS, ordered as the rest of D.C.'s MCRT team began to file from the room.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs, the team leader, paused only for a moment before shaking his head and leaving. There was a time when he would have stayed to defend his agent, would have been pissed they wanted to go talk to his agent without his presence. But it wasn't that time anymore.
It was the annoying voice in the back of his head that whispered that DiNozzo was at fault for Jenny Shepard's, the former director, death. He couldn't get it to shut up.
Also pausing was Ziva David, the now former Mossad Liason officer. Her eyed flickered between the imposing Director and Tony's relaxed form. She had been Tony's partner when everything went down; she had been the one who kept insisting that the Director was fine on her own.
She should at least be yelled at alongside him, if not yelled at more than him.
Just as she was opening her mouth to express her desire to stay, Tony caught her eye and gave a small shake of his head.
With a sigh, she backed down and rested her hand briefly on his shoulder as she exited the office. She may enjoy teasing him and she may even take their jokes too far, but so did he. What mattered was at the end of the day she respected him as a field agent, as an investigator, and as Gibb's second in command.
Vance and DiNozzo stared at one another for a full minute, their position opposites of each other. Vance was leaning forward hands folded together and resting in front of him on his desk as he watched DiNozzo.
Dinozzo was sprawled in his chair, his feet kicked up on Vance's desk as he returned the older man's look.
The Director was the first to break the silence, something that would surprise many who knew Chatterbox Tony, "Would you like a drink Agent DiNozzo?" Vance offered, "It has been a long day for us all."
As he spoke he moved over to Jenny's, now his, drink stand.
"No Sir." Tony replied, "I have to go pack after this and drive home."
Vance shrugged and returned to his seat with his drink in hand.
"I'll admit I didn't like you at first," He told him, sipping his drink, "Didn't understand why Director Shepard trusted you so much."
Tony shrugged, a small parody of a smile on his face, "It's the DiNozzo charm." He quipped.
Vance couldn't help it, he laughed. Then, he had to laugh more when he caught sight of his agent's rather comical surprised face. It wasn't the first time the two had met, and both had formed rather poor first impressions of the other.
Depending on how this talk went, Vance was willing to reconsider his first assumptions.
"Know what she told me the first time I questioned her trust in you?" Vance asked, knowingly tempting Tony and piquing the Agent's interest.
Tony laughed, "Probably that it wasn't any of your business who she trusted," he guessed, thinking of all the times Jenny had said something similar to him or Gibbs.
"Well, that too." Vance admitted, "But she also told me I should take a look at your file, really look."
That got Tony's attention; he dropped his feet to the ground and sat up some.
"Oh? A lot of people don't bother to check my record," Tony smirked, "I'm considered a pretty straightforward guy."
Vance snorted, "Straightforward is the least of what you are, and everything you want people to think you are." He ignored Tony's choke of surprise and continued, "And Imagine my shock when I saw your service record, I mean, here I thought you were just Gibbs' lackey."
The presumption didn't seem to offend Tony.
But then, that what he wants everyone to think isn't it? Vance mused; he felt he was gaining a better understanding of this particular Agent.
Too bad it seemed that with his memory loss and other extenuating circumstances Gibbs had forgotten what his Senior Field Agent really was.
"My real question is why you stayed?" Vance wondered aloud, "I know my predecessor offered you the Rota position. Why didn't you take it?"
Tony shrugged, "Timing wasn't right."
"You knew Gibbs wasn't ready to be back yet, or in charge of a team. His team. Your team." Vance guessed shrewdly, "You were worried he'd get someone killed."
Giving in, Tony nodded, "I won't deny that's true. I led them for almost a year; they were as much my team as his."
Vance absentmindedly noted the past-tense used in reference to the team.
"But why are you still on his team? You've been offered lead positions since then. Do you think you're not ready to lead?" Vance asked, his voice unknowingly accusing.
Now, Tony seemed to finally take it personally.
"I know I can lead. I led Gibbs' team for months while he was gone and the solve rate never dropped. I more than proved I can lead a team right."
Vance nodded, he already knew that. He'd just wanted to see if Tony would come out and say it himself.
"When you come back, you're getting your own team." Vance told him.
Tony blinked, "What?"
"You heard me. Once you get back, if you want it, a lead position is yours." Vance offered, "I may even be able to swing it so it's in D.C."
"I… I don't know what to say Director." Tony responded after several beats of time.
Vance shrugged, "Well you'll have plenty of time to figure it out."
"You mean as Agent Afloat?"
Shaking his head, Vance replied, "No. That's just your cover story."
"Care to explain?" Tony queried, getting annoyed. He knew this conversation was leading up to something, he just didn't know what.
Vance frowned, "Director Sheppard had a… plan for you Tony. She thought you needed to get away from Gibbs' influence for a while." He paused, "And I for one, thinks she's right."
He held up a hand stemming DiNozzo's outburst, "Hear me out. You've been with him so long, that people forget that you're not just a pretty face. I think even you are beginning to forget. Even if you don't take my offer, time away will be good for you."
Tony nodded grudgingly.
"What was Jenny's plan?"
"I have an undercover mission for you, Agent DiNozzo." He paused letting that sink in, "And I'm now certain you're the only man for the job."
-0-0-0-0-
McGee paused in the process of packing his desk, eyes going straight to the Director's office, "What's taking so long?" he wondered aloud.
Walking around her desk to stand in the bullpen, Ziva shrugged, "Possibly working out the details of his new assignment." She told him, knowing that was probably the last thing they were talking about.
Just then Abby came bounding into the room, a concerned Ducky following, with an … angry looking Jimmy bringing up the rear.
Zeroing in on Gibbs, Jimmy headed straight towards the agent who had used to make him want to run away on sight. This wasn't the time to run scared though, he owed Tony that.
"It wasn't his fault." Jimmy told him, hesitantly meeting the famous Gibbs glare, "And you're letting the Director get away with this? Splitting up the team? Shipping Tony off on some boat?"
Everyone stared in shock, feeling faintly as if they were watching and . It was… horrifying.
"I'm not letting him." Gibbs growled, standing up, "He is the director, and he gave us orders."
Jimmy, little Jimmy, Tony's autopsy gremlin, didn't back down.
"Since when has that meant anything to you?" He demanded, speaking what everyone was thinking.
It had surprised everyone when Gibbs came back and it became apparent that Tony and Jimmy had become good friends. What they didn't know, and what would probably solve everything if they knew, was that Jimmy had been the one Tony had come to when he needed advice, when Tony had needed someone who would stop comparing him to Gibbs, or telling him he didn't measure up.
Back then Jimmy had helped by propping up Tony, giving him advice on how to deal with it. This time he was going to say something to them, or more importantly, the one they all took their cues from.
Gibbs.
Jimmy shakily adjusted his glasses, which had begun to slip off his nose. "You know what being on that ship will do to him" Jimmy accused, "He'll go insane."
Ziva and McGee exchanged glances, Jimmy did have a point. Tony likely would at most go insane, and at the very least go stir-crazy.
"It'll do him good." Gibbs declared. That statement was enough to confirm in all their views that, Gibbs did in fact blame Tony for Jenny's death.
Stunned silence met his pronouncement.
Jimmy jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to meet surprisingly gentle green eyes.
"Thanks for the support Jimmy, but you can stand down." Tony told him, smiling at his friend.
Jimmy exhaled, and nodded. He patted Tony's shoulder and sent Gibbs one last glare before moving to stand by Ducky.
For the moment Tony ignored Gibbs. He was sufficiently distracted when Abby wailed and ran at him, latching onto him.
Tony grimaced, but hugged her back just as hard. He was going to miss his gothic teddy bear.
"You better write Mister!" She ordered, though it was considerably muffled due to the fact she was speaking into his shoulder.
"Of course Abbs." Tony replied, mentally adding the need to pick up some appropriate post cards before he left town, to his to-do-list.
It was Tim's turn next.
Once Abby detached from Tony, he turned to his probie.
Tony offered him his hand, "Heard you'll be going straight from McProbie to McBossman down there with all the geeks. Good on you."
Tim nodded, shaking his hand.
"Not straight from Probie to Boss," McGee corrected, "I was your senior filed agent."
Tony smiled crookedly, "Aw stop McGee, you're gonna make me blush." He teased.
The two shared a laugh and Tony clapped him on the shoulder, "You're a good agent Tim."
Before Tim could say anything else, Tony moved to Ziva. He swallowed; this might be the hardest good-bye yet.
"Zee-vah."
She stepped forward and pulled him into a hug, burying her face in his neck.
"Try not to go all hard-ass assassin while you're gone huh, sweet cheeks?" Tony requested, trying to keep things light hearted.
She laughed, feeling closer to tears than she had been since Gibbs had left for Mexico, and then she'd had Tony to hold her together. She'd never thanked him for that.
"I am going to miss knowing you are watching my back." She whispered in his ear.
What she said aloud for the others was, "Try not to go insane and jump off the boat, my little hairy butt."
Their exchange brought weary chuckles from the gathered team members.
"Me too, Zi. Me too." Tony whispered back as they separated. He really would miss having his ninja around on this next mission.
Ducky stepped up next, "Anthony my dear boy." He said sadly as he and Tony shook hands, "Do try and take care of yourself hmm? And be careful not to catch a cold."
Tony laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "I'll try Duck. Promise."
Turning to the group as a whole, with his back to Gibbs, he nodded his head decisively, "We'll all be back before we know it."
Abby perked up a bit, Gibbs may be her protector, but Tony was her rock. "How do you know Tony?"
He was tempted to tell her than Vance had sworn he'd get them all back once the mole hunt was over, but settled for something he knew she could accept and hold on to.
"I just do. Have faith Abby."
She nodded vigorously, looking comical with tears and eyeliner streaked down her face.
"We're going for drinks after this Tony, you'll come right?" Jimmy spoke up, having gotten over his own shock at his earlier actions.
Sighing, Tony shook his head, "Can't. I have to go pack and arrange things with my landlord; I'm shipping out first thing in the morning."
Proving his words, Tony went to his desk and quickly packed everything he wanted to take with him into his bag. The rest they could throw away, he supposed.
He'd already left his service gun and badge upstairs with Vance, he wouldn't need them undercover. And it'd be too risky; if someone found them his cover would be blown.
The group looked on in silence; even Ziva had a few days before she flew out.
Finished, Tony opened his bottom most drawer and pulled out a locker box.
Tim and Ziva's interest was piqued. In the course of one of their numerous prank wars they'd both tried to get into that box, neither had succeeded.
Tony considered they box for a moment before picking it up and moving over to place it on Gibbs' desk.
"Take care of yourself Jethro." Tony told him, dropping a key into the old marine's hand before turning and leaving.
Most of the group was too shocked by Tony's use of Gibbs' first name to stop him.
All except for Ducky and Abby. They could both remember a time when Tony had only ever called him 'Jethro'. It was back when the duo had just met and Tony had refused to refer to Gibbs as boss.
That was why Tony calling him "Boss" was so significant. It was his way of showing that he was giving Gibbs the lead.
It appeared he wouldn't anymore.
"What's in the box Gibbs?" Abby questioned, having gotten control of herself, and wiped the mess off her face.
Everyone moved closer, watching as Gibbs unlocked it.
The contents were somewhat… predictable. Everyone had known Tony had them after all.
"It is all the rewards he collected for you." Ziva observed, leaning over and picking one up.
But Gibbs' eye had been caught by something else.
There was a false bottom.
Carefully removing his rewards, he placed them in a heap on his desk.
"What are you—" McGee started, only to be cut off by a hand movement from Ziva. She had seen it too.
Gibbs carefully removed the false bottom, ignoring his colleagues and now ex-team mates who were watching avidly.
Once the bottom was removed Gibbs' eyes were drawn to the medals, while McGee grabbed the pile of papers.
McGee whistled, "These are letters of commendation from higher ups in the police departments in…Peoria, Philadelphia, and Baltimore." He reported, pausing as he looked though some more, "He's even got some from the various City Mayors."
Gibbs shifted through the medal, "Some from NCIS," he noted, noticing the one Tony got for rescuing him and Maddie from a submerged car, "And several from his time as a cop."
Staring incredulously, McGee's eyebrows rose as he found a stack of important looking letters. "He has letters attempting to recruit him for the FBI."
Gibbs scoffed, "It's just Fornell trying to annoy me by stealing Tony."
But McGee shook his head.
"They are from Agent Fornell," McGee conceded, "But they date back to before he was at NCIS. It goes all the way back to Philadelphia." He paused as he read some of the details, "Several reference a sealed undercover OP Tony worked alongside the FBI."
McGee looked up, his eyes wide, "Fornell knew and wanted Tony before you even met him Gibbs." McGee waved a stack of several letters, "And he never stopped asking."
Silence followed McGee's revelation.
Jimmy was finally the one to talk, "Tony always said he was a cop at heart. And they don't like federal agencies, right?" he hypothesized.
It made since except for one thing, "Then why join NCIS?" McGee asked, pointing out the flaw in the theory.
"Because of Gibbs!" Abby declared a big smile on her face.
Everyone exchanged smiles and fond expressions.
Abby was the heart of their group.
"No." Gibbs told them, a feeling of guilt beginning to form in his stomach, "It was because I swore that here, he would have partners he could trust to watch his back."
-0-0-0-0-
Exiting the Building, Tony stopped to take one last look at the building in front of him. It was the place he'd lasted the longest.
But he always had to move on eventually.
At least this time he was leaving with the promise that he'd be back once his mission and the mole hunt was over.
With a brief salute to the building of NCIS, he turned and got in his car.