Chapter 1: Heda
Clarke woke with a start. The sheen of cold sweat that covered her skin caused her to shiver. She saw them, the bodies of the mountain people she had killed, in her dreams. She mourned for them, her chest tight with regret and her body aching with fatigue and remorse.
It was slightly warmer outside the drop ship as she waded out into the fog. She couldn't see more than five feet ahead of her but Clarke welcomed the disregard from her own safety. She laughed at the irony of having the survived the mountain only to be killed by a creature of the woods.
It had been three days since she left Camp Jaha and she knew she should move on. Soon, someone would show up for a little peace and quiet or to drink some moonshine without prying eyes. But she needed to gather some resources before heading out. But she was no huntress so instead she gathered berries and nuts.
"Clarke of the Sky People." Lexa stepped out of the fog.
Clarke pulled out her handgun and held it in front of her. She ignored the shaking of her hand, "What do you want?"
"I wish to speak with you."
"Tell me why I shouldn't kill you? Blood must have blood!" She spat.
"If you wanted me dead your would have used your weapon on me when you realized that I was here." Lexa took a step towards Clarke, "Let us hunt and eat. My scouts have told me that you have been living off of the fruit from the trees. You will think more clearly with a full stomach." Lexa took another step. "Please. Our people need us."
"Don't you dare talk about my people! My people that you left in the mountain to die."
"I did want any leader must do. I saved hundreds of my people."
"And took hundreds of lives to save my people!" Clarke's gun lowered to her side as sobs ripped through her body. She dropped to her knees amongst the charred bones of Lexa's people. More dead a Clarke's hand. If she were a Grounder her flesh would be more scars then flesh.
Lexa kneeled in front of Clarke and tentatively reached out to rest her hands on Clarke's shoulders, "Clarke," the Commander's voice was soft, "You are a brave warrior and a noble leader. You've freed your people as I freed mine. If I would have chosen with my heart we might be weeping at the graves of all of our people or at each other's. We did what was necessary."
Lexa turned and disappeared into the fog. Clarke wanted to chase after her, to call out and ask her not to leave. Instead, she climbed wearily to her feet and headed for the drop ship. She climbed to the second level and pressed herself into a corner. Exhausted she drifted in and out of sleep.
Clarke smelled smoke and tried to find the motivation to investigate. Maybe she would just fall back to sleep and let the fire overcome her. But soon, there was the smell of meat and Clarke climbed out of the drop ship. Lexa sat next to a fire she built and with a long stick she poked at the logs sending sparks into the air. Four skinless rabbit on a spit roasted over the fire.
"Lexa." Clarke was too weary to fight.
"Clarke, you must eat. We won a great victory. We should be celebrating with our people and honoring our dead."
Clarke sat across the fire from Lexa and stared at the flames. She wondered what was happening with the dead mountain people. Where her people burying them or were The Grounder making great funeral pyres for them? Maybe it was a joint effort? But of course it wasn't, surely the alliance was broken.
"I carry the weight of these dead as well," Clarke's eyes never left the fire as she made her confession, "These 300."
"You saved your people." Lexa stood up and removed the rabbits from the fire. She stuck the branch that held them into the ground and grabbed the dagger that was always at her hip. She speared a roasted rabbit and handed it to Clarke, "We would have slaughtered your people."
Hunger swelled in Clarke and she took a bite careful to avoid the blade. Lexa watched the leader of the Sky People eat. Clarke, Lexa observed, ate like she did almost everything else; with boldness and a hint of restraint. Lexa wish she knew how to comfort Clarke but the ways of their people were so very different. She fed her, that was all she could offer. Her men who were standing guard in the woods would question her feeding the Sky Princess first but she was the Commander and they knew better then to run their mouths.
"Aren't you going to eat?" Clarke asked.
"I'll eat when you have had your fill."
"Please eat. I can't possibly eat all of this."
"Will it please you if I eat with you?" Lexa hoped Clarke would say yes for there was great power in sharing a meal with someone.
"Yes." Clarke watched Lexa as she pulled a rabbit of the stick and sat across the fire from her. She had never heard Lexa ask for anything.
"Thank you." Lexa's words seemed strained as if she had never actually said those words before.
By the time they had finished eating it was nearly dark and both women stared, silently into the fire. Wind whisteled through the trees and caused the flames of the fire to whip and dance. It was getting cold at night. Clarke had read about the seasons but never would she have imagined that she would experience them.
"A storm is coming." Lexa broke the silence.
"How do you know?"
"One cannot spend her life living in the woods and not know the weather."
"We never had to worry about weather on the Ark. Clarke cringed at how stupid that sounded, "Obviously…"
"Nothing about your life in the sky is obvious to me." Lexa watched Clarke as she tried to tame her hair in the wind. "Do you miss it?"
"Sometimes." Clarke confessed, "What I miss the most, believe it or not was my cell."
"Your cell? What is this cell you speak of?"
Clarke smiled, "A cell is like a cage. It is where we put our criminals."
"Criminals?" Lexa felt embarrassed knowing so little.
"People who broke the law."
Lexa looked perplexed, "Clarke of the Sky People were one of these criminals?"
"Depends on who you ask." She mumbled.
"What is it that you miss about your cage?"
"Being alone, the quiet, my art."
A bolt of lightning cracked and hit a tree nearby, "What the fuck?" Clarke grabbed her gun and dashed into the drop ship. "Do you ever get used to that?" Clarke asked Lexa when she entered.
"You do get used to it. But during really bad storms I always remind myself that is will pass. It is the most beautiful and terrifying aspects of life."
Clarke went to the wall of the drop ship and eased down it until she was sitting down. She tucked her knees to her chest and hugged herself.
"May I sit with you?" Lexa asked. "I've never heard that sound before." Lexa removed her sword and sat on the floor next to her.
"What sound?
"The sound of rain on a metal roof." Lexa looked up as if she could see it.
"Me either."
"I find it very soothing."
"It is when there is no thunder cracking and lighting striking."
"You will get used to it and someday you might learn to love the storms."
"Do you?"
"Yes." Clarke turned her gaze to the Sky Princess sitting next to her, "I find them invigorating. The best part is right after the rain. The air smells so crisp and clean."
"Living here I've forgotten what clean smells like." Clarke confessed.
"Yes." Lexa laughed, "The Sky People have not learned how to use Earth's gifts."
"Are you saying that we smell?"
"Like a horse after a long journey. But, you see, this is why the alliance must remain intact. We have so much to teach each other."
"You crushed any hope of our alliance lasting when you left my people on the mountain to die."
"Speak the truth and tell me that you would have made a different decision."
Clarke rested the back of her head on the wall and exhaled slowly. One thing she learned during her time on the ground was that she never knew what she would do. Life on the Arc was so black and white. There were rules for everyone and everything..
"I pulled the switch." Clarke's voice was barely a whisper, "In the mountain I pulled the switch that killed the mountain people. All of them. I had to step over the dead bodies of their elders and their children. They were so tiny and they were wearing these little blue smocks, just like the ones the children on the Ark wore." Clarke sobbed.
Lexa bit her lip. She wasn't used to being indecisive. As another sob escaped from Clarke Lexa chose with her heart and not her head. Putting her arm across Clarke's shoulders and pulled her into her arms. She rested her chin on the top of Clarke's head and rubbed small circles on her back. Lexa closed her eyes and inhaled. Clarke smelled of the woods and smoke, something else Lexa couldn't place. On how she wanted this moment to last, here in this piece of metal from the sky, holding this brave and bold leader. This place where she wasn't the Commander but just a young woman with a heart. A heart that seemed, at this moment, to be too big for her chest.
"Commander." There was a sharp knock, "Commander."
Both women sat up confused and bleary eyed. Lexa stood up accidently tossing Clarke to the floor.
"Yes!" Lexa barked.
Ryder stepped into the drop ship, "Commander," he seemed nervous, "There is trouble at Ton DC.