"Ugh!" blustered Marie. "I am so mad at Ms. Chandler right now!"
"It's gonna be okay," replied Siobhan. "We were only gonna run for one night anyway."
"That's not the point! She always hated me. I knew she'd try to shut my play down."
"You did?"
"What they should be shutting down is the pancake breakfast," commented Maeve quietly. "Remember last year?"
"What happened last year?" asked Siobhan. She has spent Grade 9 and 10 at Sacred Heart.
"Last year it was an unmitigated disaster!" spat Marie.
"It started off fine. It was the dead of winter, I didn't even think anyone would even come…" began Maeve.
"Yeah, and then that maniac showed up and was all like 'we need a doctor, it's an emergency," continued Marie.
"His friend was in pretty bad shape. He went to the infirmary."
"Okay but then buddy starts running around, completely wrecking havoc."
"Havoc?" asked Siobhan. "Marie, I think you're being dramatic…"
"He soiled all the Bingo cards," offered Maeve.
"And then he Cherry-bombed the bathrooms! And when we got underway, no one could find any of the Becel Mrs. Tasciotti brought. I think he stole it."
"Really?"
Maeve nodded. "The less said about the sausage patties the better. I don't think the police ever identified him."
Marie looked affronted. "Even after that sketch I drew? I don't know why I bother."
"What did he look like?" asked Siobhan.
"Brown hair, kind of big nose," replied Marie. "Handlebar moustache, soul patch… there was a musician from the 70s who he kind of looked like."
"Jim Croce," added Maeve. "Spitting image."
A/N: This story describes the events of the three Frank Zappa songs "Yellow Snow", "Nanook Rubs It", and "St. Alphonzo's Pancake Breakfast".