My Heart's Desire
A/N: In the little A/U universe that I began writing with, which I call "The Smallest Things A/U" because my stories are part of that initial storyline, Ike didn't die but lived on to marry Emily Metcalfe. In time I began to think, this is all very lovely and happy, but what of Emily? She hasn't really been given a whole lot to say.
So. This is Emily's tale, most of which is A/U and doesn't necessarily follow everything we learned about her in season 3's episode "Presence of Mine Enemies".
Prologue
Though the hour was late, it was still too early to go to bed. Baby Maggie would soon awaken for her bedtime feeding, so I busied myself folding the next day's clean diapers and placed the tall stack on the windowsill. I opened the lacy curtains to let in the light of the first-quarter moon.
"It's a beautiful night outside, Pumpkin" I said to my tiny daughter who had begun to stir. "The moon on the snow is pretty as a picture."
Maggie waved a fist as I lifted her from the cradle that Ike had made for her. I held her close with my arm as I unfastened the top buttons of my flannel nightgown and seated us in the rocking chair. I rocked and hummed softly as she suckled away; I listened to the soft hish of the wind outside and the quiet murmur of Buck's voice in the kitchen downstairs.
Ike was with him and Lou was long since asleep in the big bed in the guest room. She and Buck had moved in with us the summer before when I was still expecting Maggie. I had blown up like a huge ball with the heat and a worried Doc Barnes had put me on bed rest. I'd fretted and fumed, all right, but Ike had put his foot down firm and Buck and Lou had come to help out. And when my time came, it had been Lou who'd delivered Maggie with Ike's help. Shortly after Maggie's birth Lou had given us the happy news that she and Buck would be parents sometime late in the spring.
Doc Barnes, concerned over Lou's previous miscarriage, had placed her on bedrest until the morning sickness passed. It had been a hard time for both Buck and Lou, I knew; she felt guilty about not being able to help out but was helpless to do anything about it. And Buck, though neither he nor Ike had said anything to me, was beyond worried about Lou and their baby.
I knew that the two of them were talking downstairs and I hoped Ike would be able to get through to Buck that he was doing everything he possibly could - and should. Ike had had his worries with me but as a midwife I had seen and heard much, and he had learned to trust my judgement. Oh, I'd shooed him away at first, hating to be fussed over, but I knew Ike only wanted to help and in time I let him.
Maggie, I saw, had stopped nursing; I'd been so deep in thought I hadn't noticed she'd drained the breast dry. I chuckled and rubbed between her shoulderblades, rewarded as always with a huge belch that never failed to make me laugh. I placed her on the other breast and she suckled and tugged away vigorously. I stroked her fuzzy little head, feeling a deep sense of contentment.
I loved my home and life here in Rock Creek. I had received a warm welcome when I arrived. After pestering Doc Barnes to let me help him out he had soon taken me under his wing, saying he had far too much work as it was and a nurse-midwife was just what this town needed. The townsfolk took to me pretty quickly, most of them newcomers themselves. And when I met up with the Express riders I made friends - and found family.
Lou and I became fast friends and I began to see more of the Express family as I spent more time at the way station. But it was Ike who became my closest friend. He may not have been able to speak but he found ways to make his feelings known as we pounded nails with hammers, repaired rickety steps, and strung wire at the homestead I'd purchased. The silent and gentle man spoke volumes and became first my friend and then my lover...and now my husband.
He joined me presently in our bedroom just as I was about to put Maggie down for the night. He took her from me and kissed her forehead, her chubby cheeks, her tiny fingers. After he set her down in the cradle he signed to her *I love you, Pumpkin* as he did every night.
I sat on the chair in front of the mirror. "How is Buck?" I asked quietly as I brushed my hair. "Were you able to reassure him some?"
*Yes...I talked some common sense into him* Ike replied before lowering his suspenders. *He knows that now they just have to wait and let nature take its course*
"I'm glad for that, Ike" I said softly, setting the brush on the chest of drawers and pulling down the bedclothes. "Lou looks wonderful and chances are their baby is just fine, too."
Ike slung his trousers and shirt over the back of the chair. He drew me in close to him and kissed me tenderly on the mouth. *Would it be a safe time for us to - uhm - let nature take its course, do you think?* he asked with a cheeky grin.
"Oh, well...I think we could" I said with a smile. "Mrs. Hooper has given me plenty of advice on the subject. Any woman with nine children should know when and when not to."
Ike laughed his silent hearty laugh and lifted my nightgown up and off. I made short work of the buttons on his longjohns; they soon joined the nightgown in a heap on the floor. I turned down the wick in the oil lamp and blew out the flame...and turned to my husband.
He was a giving, caring man and lover who always put my pleasure ahead of his. Since Maggie's birth I'd felt all the love but not so much my own desire. But this night I felt the desire return in a huge wave like the sea as Ike kissed me everywhere, his hands roaming my body until he rested at the juncture of my thighs. His strong fingers gently spread me open and to my surprise I found I was silkily wet, so ready for him. I pushed, hard, against his hand as it began to move, kissed him deeply, breathlessly, touched him the way he loved to be touched. We joined as one, moved as one, fell into ecstasy as one...
He held me close and soon drifted off. I lay awake for a bit, loving the feel of his arms about me, and slipped into sleep thinking of my journey to Rock Creek.
A/N: Some of Emily's past was told in The Smallest Things but not in great detail. Now we will learn about her from her POV.
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