Fandom: Jupiter Ascending

Rating: T

Characters: Jupiter Jones, Titus Abrasax, Caine Wise

Summary: An alternative version of the wedding. Don't threaten the Queen.

Notes: Canon course correction. Bees. Major character death.

"Just a contract," her ass.

Thanks to her cousin, Jupiter Jones knows a con when she hears one.

That's about the only she's found familiar since being rescued from evil aliens by a space-dog guy on hover-skates and told that she's the reincarnation of the queen of the Earth. It's a lot for a girl to cope with and she's barely had time to process any of it.

Jupiter doesn't think processing is actually possible, so she's chosen to go with the flow. This latest thing, though—

As she understands it, Titus Abrasax is the youngest of three children, the heirs to the Abrasax royal family. They're insanely rich and powerful, on a galactic scale. Their mom was the head of the house until she died, but her assets are supposed to transfer to her genetic reincarnation. This is a thing that happens, Jupiter's been told.

Which makes her the queen of the Earth, now. Titus tells her that the Earth is a valuable asset, because the people can be turned into liquid time that the family uses to remain young for thousands of years. It's crazier than anything else she's heard, but she gets the "Soylent Green is people" concept thanks to that movie Uncle Vassily made her watch.

The important part, the reason Jupiter's in this whole mess, is that she owns the Earth according to the inheritance laws. So no one can harvest it without her say-so. And there's nothing anyone can do to make her say so.

But they can kill her, and then the Earth will be up for grabs again. That's where Titus came in. He offers to marry her to keep her safe. He says that he wants to stop the harvest, but he needs her assets to maintain his authority. The marriage, he says, will protect them both—purely a business arrangement. As confused and turned-around as she is, Jupiter agrees. In the past day or so she's nearly been killed more times than she can count, and her self-appointed bodyguard dog-man is gone. So are the Aegis cops, who at least seemed like they were on her side.

But once Jupiter has a moment to herself, she realizes that everything about his proposal stinks. Starting with the whole crazy space incest part, because she's the reincarnation of Titus's mother down to her genes. That's just...gross and wrong on every level. Even as a "business arrangement."

Frankly, Titus's arrangement is starting to sound a lot like the ones Vladie talked her into over the years, the ones where she does all the work and he gets all the money.

If she's really the queen of the Earth—and a whole lot of other things, by the sound of it—why can't she protect herself? Or hire a whole army of dog-men and bee-men and whateverthehell-men to protect her? And if someone's going to stop the harvest, shouldn't it be her? The Aegis cops seemed pretty intent on making sure that she had all the correct legal documents to ensure her claim, so she should be able to do...whatever needs to be done. But Jupiter's starting to think no one's told her the whole truth because no one wants her to think about the kind of power and wealth she should have at her fingertips.

She's not even really sure she wants it, honestly. It's just too much. No matter how many documents she reads or laws she memorizes, she's never going to really understand these people. Mostly they seem kind of horrible, aside from Caine and Stinger and Captain Tsing. Jupiter has a sneaking suspicion that's because they're like her, the kind of people who work for a living.

But if she can use just a little of that inherited power—

There's no time to figure out how. She's shaken out of her thoughts by the attendants (deer-people, maybe?) who come to dress her for the wedding. Despite all her protestations that she can dress herself, no one listens. So much, Jupiter thinks, for being queen of anything.

The wedding dress brings her up short. It's a gorgeous thing of white silk and red flowers, with shiny crystals embedded throughout and a gigantic headpiece. The whole thing is way more elaborate than anything she's ever seen, even in the closets of her richest clients. It's intimidating as hell.

"There is an alternative," one of the attendants murmurs.

Jupiter looks at her, half-worried that the alternative is going naked, because that wouldn't even be a surprise after the space incest. But the attendant nods toward a dress hanging half-hidden in the shadows, and Jupiter breathes a sigh of relief.

It's a simple white sheath dress, covering neck to ankles. It seems too good to be true, and as Jupiter walks over to it, she hears...buzzing.

"It is traditional," the attendant says, "for the bride to wear something of her home planet."

A crate full of bees rests on the floor next to the dress.

Jupiter glances over at the attendant. There's a look in the deer-woman's eyes—a warning? A plea? Jupiter isn't sure, but honestly, the chance to wear a dress made of bees is too cool to pass up. Even if she's pretty sure she's heading toward a mistake of colossal proportions. But she doesn't know how to make this crazy train stop.

She unlatches the crate as the attendants stand back at a respectful distance—more for the bees than her, Jupiter knows. She's just a silly Earth girl who happened to be born with a certain genetic sequence. The bees respect the genes, not her.

The bees cover her, settling over the sheath dress, barely even tickling. It feels amazing and when she catches sight of herself in the mirror, looks amazing too.

The next few minutes pass in a blur. She floats above an enormous crowd and ends up in front of the official priest-or-judge. Titus is there, looking very handsome in a male-model kind of way. She wonders how old he really is, how many people on how many planets have died to keep him looking so young. She wonders how committed to stopping the harvest he really is.

Jupiter half expects the official to intone "Mawwage" like in The Princess Bride, and she barely contains a giggle. But he doesn't, of course.

Titus takes his vows and everything's happening too fast. Jupiter is halfway through her own reluctant vows when the ship rocks and she's thrown off-balance. She hears sounds of explosions somewhere, but Titus grabs her arm, forcing it back toward the imprinting device. And that's just—hell, no. Even two days ago she wouldn't have stood for that.

She remembers the look in the deer-woman's eyes.

She remembers how the bees protected her in Stinger's cornfield.

The bees' hum rises, growing to an angry shriek.

Jupiter wrenches her arm away with every bit of strength she didn't know she had. "I don't need you to protect me," she says. "I am Jupiter Jones, heir to Seraphi Abrasax, and my inheritance stays with me."

Titus sneers, hand rising to strike. Before it comes down, the bees are on him. He shrieks—once—before his voice is muffled by the living swarm. Jupiter couldn't stop them even if she wanted to.

The official backs away, quickly. The audience murmurs excitedly but no one screams, no one even protests. They just watch her greedily, hoping she'll entertain them with some suitably crazed Abrasax pronouncement. Or maybe another murder.

Caine swoops down out of nowhere and lands on the dais next to her, immediately falling to one knee. The bees rise but don't swarm, settling back on their quarry.

"What do you wish, Your Majesty?"

She doesn't look at the lump on the floor that used to be Titus as she answers. There's nothing for her here.

"Take me home."

I really enjoyed Jupiter Ascending, but I spent too much of the movie waiting for Chekhov's bees to go off.