Clow Read: It's Not Easy
A CCS Parody Songfic
by SyaoranSword
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Card Captor Sakura. CLAMP and other companies I may not know of own it all. "Superman: It's Not Easy" is copyright Five for Fighting. This is a fanfic and not part of the "official" storyline. The story is only meant for the enjoyment of the author and any would-be readers.
Note: Now what was I thinking when I wrote this? A parody songfic?! Maybe I was listening to that song way too many times and suddenly imagined it being sung by the master magician himself. That imagination turned into this rather strange creation. If you can suspend your disbelief a little more than usual, then you might be able to enjoy this…
Clow Read: It's Not Easy
Fujitaka Kinomoto waved goodbye to Sakura as she and Syaoran left for their date. With Touya at his latest part-time job, the archaeology professor had the house all to himself, and he had plans. Just one phone call would set them into motion.
~~~~~~
Eriol Hiiragizawa was peacefully sitting in his utterly comfy red chair while listening to his newest CD, "Music to Plot Against Your Cute Little Descendant and His Girlfriend By." With a notebook on his lap and a pen in his right hand, the mage had let his imagination flow onto the paper.
"Let me see. Tomoyo-san will be hosting a pool party next week. Hmm… I could cause a whirlpool when Sakura-san jumps in, and my cute little descendant would then have to rescue her and give mouth-to-mouth, but that's low by my standards." Seconds later, Eriol smiled evilly as he thought up a perfect solution. "I'll turn the water into chocolate. He rescues her, then gives mouth-to-mouth! Oh, how I love my twisted little mind!" He had finished scribbling the idea down his phone rang. Picking it up, he said, "Moshi moshi, Hiiragizawa speaking."
"Kobanwa, Eriol-san," came the familiar voice of Sakura's father.
"Kinomoto-sensei. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"
"The kids are gone, and I have the house to myself. You know what that means…"
Eriol smirked. "Ah, yes. I'll be right over." Eriol put away his pen and notebook and instructed his guardians not to wreck the house too badly while he was out. After a short walk, Eriol arrived at the Kinomoto house. He lifted his hand to knock, but the door opened before he could. Eriol was a little surprised, but he quickly smiled and said, "Your perception is improving."
Fujitaka smiled back as he stepped aside and let the boy in. The two were dressed similarly in blue and black magician's robes. Eriol was also wearing his ridiculously large hat. They went into the living room, where a karaoke machine and two microphones were set up. "Shall we?" Fujitaka asked as he picked up one of the mikes. Eriol did the same as the room lights darkened and a third ghostly person stood with them, holding his own ethereal microphone.
"As long as we are not doing 'Lady Marmalade', that is fine with me," Clow's voice echoed in the room. "I think that is the last time we let my sadistic incarnation choose the song."
"It was an honest mistake," Eriol tried to defend himself while grinning sheepishly.
"Tonight, we'll be doing 'Superman: It's Not Easy', which is strangely one of Yue's favorites," Fujitaka said.
"How very apropos," Clow said, "We are improvising lyrics, correct?"
Eriol responded, "Of course. It wouldn't be quite as amusing if we didn't."
With everything settled, Fujitaka selected the appropriate track, and the trio arranged themselves, from left to right: Eriol, Clow, and Fujitaka, as the intro played. "Clow has the first verse."
The deceased sorcerer held his mike up to his mouth and began.
Clow: I have bad eyesight.
That's why I wear these. (points to glasses)
I just gave it right
To the other parts of me.
I'm more than a ghost.
I'm more than a mage.
I'm more than some
Bishounen in anime,
And it's not easy to be me.
Eriol: I wish that I could hide,
Vanish in the trees,
Find a way to lie
About a life I'll never lead.
It may sound absurd,
But don't be naïve.
Even wizards should
Be free to dream.
I may be disturbed,
Oh, yes, I concede.
As a sorcerer, I
Can't help but scheme,
And it's not easy to be me.
All: We were once just one,
But now we're three.
Clow: It was supposed to be two!
E&F: You screwed it up, didn't you?
Clow: I'm not an idiot… or anything. (sweatdrop)
Fujitaka: Sakura loves that guy.
I'm not that naïve.
They're making out tonight
In his apartment, I believe.
I'm only a man,
Whose son is deadbeat,
Digging for artifacts
In the desert heat.
Only a man
Who's not bothered by that,
Looking for special things
Inside this hat. (Fujitaka takes Eriol's hat, and pulls out…)
All: Inside this haaaaaaaat. (… the sun staff. Clow holds it.)
Inside this haaaaat. (… a stuffed sheep. It goes poof.)
Inside this haaaaaaaat. (… another hat. Fujitaka puts it on.)
Inside this haaaaat. (… a Tomoyo plushie. Eriol blushes and hastily throws it back in.)
Clow: I'm only a man,
Eriol: With a silly sun staff. (He puts his hat back on.)
Fujitaka: Sonomi hates me,
And Tomoyo bitch laughs.
Clow: I'm only a man,
Eriol: With a phony boat hat,
Fujitaka: And it's not easy.
All: Ooo, ooo, ooo.
It's not easy… to be… meeeee.
After the song had finished, Clow handed back his staff to Eriol. "Whew, what fun!"
"I believe we did quite well," Eriol commented, "And keep the spare hat, my other half. It looks good on you."
"I shall, for our next get together. Speaking of which, Clow is choosing the next song. Any thoughts?" The wizard was about to speak when the trio noticed a gathering at the front door. As chance would have it, there stood Sakura, Syaoran, Kero-chan, and Yue. They were stunned until the two guardians started rolling on the floor and laughing. The couple tried to ignore the spectacle and looked back at the strange sight of the three incarnations of Clow, who simultaneously smiled with their eyes closed and said, "Hello, you two."
Sakura and Syaoran were blushing and at a loss for words. They had come back early from their date and heard every word of the song, most of which was true. Syaoran took this chance to kiss Sakura goodnight and run out of the scene. "Umm… good night, Otou-san," Sakura ran up the stairs to her room.
Clow, Fujitaka, and Eriol looked at each other before Clow answered, "How about 'Butterfly Kisses'?"
END
Like I said before, what was I thinking?! I'll just shrug my shoulders and let you decide. All comments and criticisms are welcome and appreciated.