I Never Said 'Just'.
Based on the twitter pic that Aliyah O'Brien put up of the girls in the holding cell. No one knows if that has anything to do with an actual future episode or not, but it's fun to think about. Also, I live in the US so I have not gotten to see any of season five yet (until tomorrow!), I'm just using Tumblr as my guide. This is set after 503, probably about a week or so afterward. Hope you like it. Please read and review. This is my first Gail/Holly (Officer Lunchbox) fic.
There is nothing but thick, uncomfortable silence coming from the dreary holding cell. The only words that had been spoken thus far had occurred the instant that Oliver Shaw had pushed them in, turned the lock and walked away, trying to hide his smirk and failing.
"What the hell are you trying to do?" Gail spat.
"You really think that I planned this, Gail?!" Holly shot back with enough venom to let Gail know without a doubt that the girl really had not been in on Oliver's plan; enough venom to sting Gail just the right amount to make her realise that somehow she wished that Holly had been in on it.
Twenty three minutes had passed before Holly had gotten up the nerve to stop pacing the cold cell and sit down on the bench adjacent from where Gail was lying. Holly crossed her legs soundly and waited; waited for what? She wasn't sure. But Gail's tone upon getting thrown into the holding cell had been enough to let Holly know that speaking like adults would be out of the question right now.
After thirty one minutes she felt it. Barely. The lightest brush of Gail's outstretched hand against her ankle. The touch was so minimal, but through a pant-leg and a boot it still sent Holly's heart into a frenzy. Holly knew that the touch was not accidental. If Gail was half as self-aware in that moment as Holly was (and Holly knew Gail well enough to know that she definitely was) the girl would never have allowed her dangling hand to brush against her anything but intentionally.
Holly refused to react, not to be strong or to win a battle- only because there was so much more to the story and she was desperately hoping that Gail would tell it- through touch or otherwise.
At minute thirty six it happened again, more directly this time. A sort of reluctant tug at Holly's pant-leg, not desperate the way a child would seek attention- just Gail's way of letting Holly know that the first touch was definitely on purpose. Holly looked up to see Gail's crystal eyes already boring into her. She wanted to smile but she didn't allow herself. Though she couldn't hide the look of pure love in her eyes if she tried- and she would never try to hide from Gail Peck.
Gail wrapped her hand gently around Holly's ankle, under the pant-leg now but still over the boot. The grasp was not tight nor possessive, just a loose hand wrapped around an ankle, the slightest touch, fingertips gently dancing as they stared into each others eyes.
"Holly?" Gail asked in that child-like way that she had that about her, despite constantly showing the opposite to the world.
Holly did not respond verbally. Their unwavering, intense eye-contact was all that was needed to let Gail know that Holly acknowledged her question.
"I'm not just having fun, Holly," Gail said softly, sadly, her hand still gently scratching at Holly's ankle.
"I never said, 'just,' Gail," Holly told her, finally allowing a smile to come to her eyes and resisting the urge to reach down and take Gail's hand with her own. Gail was a cat up the tallest tree right now and Holly was perfectly aware that the slightest movement could cause her to jump.
"What?" Gail asked for clarification although the sound of the words and the implication that they held for Gail caused an increased heart-rate and a sense of hope within her.
"I never said, 'just.' I said we were having fun, and we were, weren't we?" Holly reasoned.
Gail could only nod sadly in worry and anticipation of what could possibly come out of that beautiful mouth next. She put herself out there, again, and that only ever lead to heartbreak- even with Holly. She had dropped the girl's ankle entirely at this point, her hand lying as limp and lifeless as the rest of her felt.
"I left it at that because I didn't want to be presumptuous, Gail. We were having fun and I didn't need my judgmental college friend to know the rest. I only needed you to," Holly told her, still staring deeply into her eyes as she pointedly moved her ankle back into Gail's hand. Gail grinned despite herself and held onto it again.
"What's the rest?" Gail asked in nearly a whisper, afraid to feel too much in case she was wrong, despite the fact that she was feeling everything right now.
"I'm in love with you." Holly said it directly, matter-of-factly, never once breaking eye contact and making it impossible for Gail to dispute. Gail felt it. She had already felt it, which made Holly's words to Lisa even more crushing and confusing at the time.
"You are?" Gail asked anyway, nearly choking on her breath as the words came out.
"How could you not have known already? Can't you feel it?" Holly asked softly, leaning forward and wrapping her hand around Gail's, warm fingers entwining. Gail could only nod.
"That's why it hurt so much," Gail admitted, barely audibly, trying like hell to hold in the tears that were threatening to spill from the onslaught of emotion.
"Come 'ere," Holly said softly, pulling Gail by their hands until she was sitting on the bench next to her. Holly wrapped an arm around her back and held her close as they both took it all in. "I would never hurt you, Gail. You know that, right?" she whispered into Gail's ear, feeling the girl shiver beneath her lips. "That night- you didn't give me a chance to explain. You heard the wrong part of the conversation and I should have defended you. I just didn't care what my friends thought because I only care what you think. I thought you and I were on the same page-"
"I told Dov," Gail blurted out suddenly, not picking her head up from the crook of Holly's neck. "That I was serious about you, that I'm better... and that you were the only person who needed to know that."
Holly smiled into Gail's hair and held her more tightly, her hand running up and down the girl's ribcage as Gail ran a fingertip along her neck. They were on the same page, they just hadn't had a chance to let each other know that until now.
"I want to have fun with you, Hol. I just don't want to just have fun with you," Gail admitted, looking up into the beautiful brown eyes that she'd been missing and crying over for days.
"Me too," Holly smiled, kissing her softly, finally.
"I'm in love with you, too," Gail told her, despite her fears.
"I know," Holly smiled, barely brushing their lips together again. "I can feel it."