Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade or any of its characters, merchandise, TV rights, ect… (I think you get the point.)
Summery
ONE SHOT – Kai/Mimi. Fantasy or reality? You can't have one without the other, but you have to be able to keep the two of them separate. Like all of my work this is just something that happened to float through the empty void inside my head. I don't really know what this is about or where it came from, I don't think it even makes any sense. Like it or hate it please R and R as honest opinions are always welcomed.
Muse: Again!?
Lamb: Yeah again.
Dedi: I think you are getting slightly obsessed with these two.
Lamb: Well it's my favourite pairing.
Muse: Real? I'd have never guessed.
Dedi: Anyway this fic is dedicated to .angel.del.silencio. because we think she understands Lamb's desire to torture the pairings she likes that most. So .angel.del.silencio. this is for you.
Lamb: Thanks Dedi, as always sorry for any bad spelling and if you feel the need to through thing at me please wait until I've hidden behind the sofa kay!?
Muse: On with the fic!
Sparkling angel I believed,
You were my saviour in my time of need,
Blinded by faith I couldn't hear,
All the whispers, the warnings so clear,
Misunderstanding Make-believe
When did fantasy overcome reality? She pondered over this as she cried, sitting in the bathtub with the hot water spraying down on her, flowing over her hair and down her back until it dripped onto the bottom of the tub. Her tears mixing with the water running down her forehead and into her eyes, blinking out the tears and the water, she's convinced herself that she doesn't care. That it's all just water from the spray above her. She really doesn't care, or does she. Why should she feel hurt? Why would she feel betrayed?
After that morning, she groans, oh my god that morning. How could she ever look at him again? After putting herself out there. She's embarrassed, how could she have told him that. She doesn't open up, not about that, never about that. She kept her heart safe in box in the back of her mind, not letting anyone close enough to hurt her. But she had taken it out and handed it to him.
Her stomach keeps flopping, she feels like she's going to be sick. Not good on top of her cramps.
She begs and pleads with the Goddess to help her. No Pain. No Hurt. Make them go away, she chants over and over again until she can barely understand herself. Which one was she asking the Goddess to help her with? Even she can't remember now.
She didn't know anymore. She starts repeating the line she always repeats when she's in pain. It makes no sense but it helps, she doesn't know why it does, but it just always does.
She decides and makes the effort. Picks herself up off the bottom of the bathtub. Downing in tears. Bubbles everywhere, distorted reflections of the world outside. Why is life so cruel? She goes through the motions of washing and drying herself.
She can feel it; it's starting already. The hardening, the bricks, the layers, the stones... the wall. It's being built already. She's not sure if she wants it up or not. She tries to stop it, but it keeps on, stone on top of stone. She reaches out for the dress that Mama made. She sings.
She sings to stop them, she sings to help them. She sings to keep from crying. She sings to hide her tears. She sings to get the tears out. She sings to get the emotions to stop churning her belly. But it's not working and her head is spinning with the pressure of it.
She cries again, and towels her hair dry. The tears threaten to fall once more but now there is no water to hide them. All in white, so sweet, so innocent.
Another brick placed on the top.
She cries because when did she lose control of the fantasy, when did the fantasy take over. How could she let herself get so caught up in the fantasy? It wasn't supposed to happen like this, she thinks to herself after the tears stopped again. No more tears little one?
Another stone gets stacked.
God why are you being so stupid, she thinks to herself as she dresses. You knew it wouldn't ever happen. Never! How could you do this to yourself? You're so goddamned stupid.
'He was never ever going to be yours.' The voices begin, mocking her and the pain that she feels.
'Why would you even entertain the thought, let alone get him involved in it. You just couldn't keep it to yourself. Because of that you let yourself get hurt again.' They are always with her, even if she can't hear them. They will sit in the back of her mind, crouching like toads watching her every move, waiting for a chance to criticise her.
Another brick goes up.
'Stop checking your email, he'll never have time for you again. Sing your sappy tear filled songs, cry. It won't do anything to help that burning brick in your chest. Does it?' The voices are cruel and their words cut her like knives.
Another stone gets put in place.
'Hear that? That's a reality check' She listens closely and hears it, a sound beyond the realms of reality, her posture slumps. She hangs her head and gives it a sad little shake, her hair brushing against her check. Aqua curtain blocks her eyes but not her heart.
'That's right, you hear it. It was never you. How could you tear the beautiful wall down? It took us so long to build it!' Her body shakes uncontrollably as they continue to berate her. She knows that it's true, that she could never hope to compare herself to the girls that offered themselves to him.
'You had to go and put your heart into some stupid fantasy, well maybe you'll have learnt this time.' She sighs, it's always the same she never learns
Another brick is added to the pile.
'We told you not to do it again. Every few years ya just have to do something stupid don't you?'
She hums. She hums the song that always comforts her. The song that asks for strength. Strength to continue. Strength to deal with another break.
'Ya thought this one would be different didn't you?' She sniffs and her chin starts to quiver. She tenses her lip, biting it so it doesn't follow suit.
Another stone gets stacked.
She hears the song again. The one that is on her play-list. The one. She doesn't want to hear it. She can't bring herself to turn it off.
'You like torturing yourself don't you? You need to keep your ass in reality.' She nods. But reality hurts so much; it's easier to live in the world of your imagination. All wide eyed wonderment, chocolate eyes see how they melt. A tear escapes the blink; it rolls its lonely way down her cheek. "But he said -" she starts to say but never finishes.
'Hey! He tried to tell you and you just went off into your little la la land fantasy world and refused to listen to the fact that, he wasn't nor would he be yours.' She closes her eyes but can not close her mind to the sound of them and the truths that they speak.
She nods sadly. She tries to keep herself from crying. She bites her bottom lip again and this time brakes the skin. Her blood tastes of cherries.
The song starts again.
She hangs her head. She tries to sing it. The words are choked out by little sobs. She stops and shakes her head.
Never again, she thinks to herself. Never again.
The last brick gets placed on the last stone.
Untouchable as a star. She reaches for the pill bottle that sits on the top of the dressing table and makes her way over to the bed.
Hours later there is the sound of someone knocking on the door and softly calling her name. He leans his head against the door waiting for her to come and open it. But she dosen't come, he keeps calling for her but she never comes. His blood turns to ice in his veins and cold hatred bubbles up inside of him. She didn't mean it, if she had she would have opened the door and let him in. But she hadn't, she had told that she cared about him, but it was just a lie. He turns and walks way from her apartment. Away from her, not looking back. Never look back, reality hurts too much.
In her bedroom the song is still playing but she has long since slipped into the eternal darkness. She looks like his angel now.
Lamb: Sorry, but I've done it again. (hides) One day I will write a Kai/Mimi fic, where neither of them kills themselves and the do end up together.
Muse: Like I haven't heard that one before.
Dedi: I have to agree with you there.
Lamb: Yeah, well one day I'll manage it.
Dedi: Sure, sure, anyway .angel.del.silencio. we hope you liked it and please let us know what you thought.
Please R and R I'd love to know what you thought.
Big luv see ya
Lamanth