Hello there! This is my first attempt at a character 'manual'. I've seen quite a few of them around and thought it'd be fun to try out, and since there seems to be a pretty sparse selection for One Piece, I decided to contribute with this little piece!
Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. Trust me; I would be much wealthier if I did. The things that grow in my brain, however meagre and awkward, belong to me.
RORONOA ZORO – User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You have just acquired your very own RORONOA ZORO unit! To ensure that you and your unit receive the best possible experience, we here at One of a Piece Inc have composed this fool-proof, fail-safe manual!
Technical Specifications:
Name: Roronoa Zoro. Will also respond to "Pirate Hunter," "Marimo," "Shitty swordsman," and "FIGHT ME."
Age: 21
Place of Manufacture: East Blue
Height: 181cm
Weight: Approximately 65kg
Your unit comes with the following accessories:
One (1) Haramaki (a.k.a belly-warmer, to all uncultured swine)
One (1) Stylish bandanna
Three (3) Nifty swords
Two (2) Changes of clothing (Warning: will quickly tear/stain upon fighting any and all SWORDSMAN units)
Many (*) Ridiculously heavy weights
Programming:
Your RORONOA ZORO unit is arranged with the following traits:
First Man: Caught out in the middle of the sea? Have a sudden urge to become Pirate King? In any and all swash-buckling pirate scenarios, this unit will have your back! He can easily handle any enemy tossed his way with a quick, ocean-cleaving swing of the sword. But as this unit is reckless and prone to fighting everything with functioning appendages and a blade, constant repairs may be necessary.
Physical Coach: If you're feeling down in the dumps about your total physical ineptitude or want some nice diamond-hard muscles, this unit makes an excellent physical coach! Equipped with immense weight lifting capacities and rigorous, unrelenting training exercises, he'll teach you exactly what it means to go beyond a human's physical capabilities! You'll be swinging around weights the size of your well-loved couch in no time!
Nanny: Find yourself burdened with children around you, yours or otherwise? Worry not! This unit can begrudgingly entertain and watch over little ankle-biters throughout your day better than any neighbourhood granny or Doberman guard dog! Simply place your RORONOA ZORO unit amidst the small creatures, ask him to watch them for you, and leave, worry-free, as his sense of honour binds him there like unenthused super-glue!
Activating your RORONOA ZORO unit:
Your unit, though often preferring a state of sleep, can be considered a morning person, and will not harm you should you choose to attempt to interrupt its otherwise continuous state of being. It will be an arduous task, and we encourage you to stay strong: he'll wake up eventually, if only at the most inconvenient time.
1. Stand in the box's general vicinity and announce, in any volume, "Oh wow, there's a really strong swordsman right over there!" WARNING: Do NOT state that you are said strong swordsman, as doing such will most likely result in your permanent expulsion from life.
2. Get a SANJI unit to stand in front of the box. Your unit will emerge from the box to immediately engage in a brawl with the SANJI unit. Not a recommended method as the probability of you being caught in the crossfire is extremely high.
3. Find a STRAWHAT unit with subcategory DEVILFRUIT, and push them into the ocean. Your RORONOA ZORO unit will kick open the box and proceed to fish them out of the water.
Modes:
After successfully awakening your unit, you have the option to set him to the following modes:
Swordsman (default)
Overpowered (default)
Terrifying
Festive
Nostalgic (Locked)
The default modes of this unit are Swordsman and Overpowered. In Swordsman your unit will be focused almost entirely on training, fighting, and seeking out stronger enemies, living little room for much else, including you. While set to Overpowered your unit will remain generally unfazed in all situations no matter how bizarre, chaotic, or life-threatening they may seem, treating it like just another walk in the park.
Terrifying mode is activated when your unit is incited or approached by a formidable opponent. He will emit a bloodthirsty aura, causing all CANNON-FODDER units to freeze or flee the area, and will proceed to battle until he or his opponent is rendered totally incapacitated.
In Festive mode, activated when your RORONOA ZORO unit is placed in a casual, celebratory setting, he will be a bit looser than usual as he smugly drinks everyone else under the table. Please keep careful watch over your alcohol supplies in this mode, as it will deplete at an alarming rate if left unguarded.
Nostalgic: In this mode, your unit is at its most vulnerable. Activated with the mentioning of a KUINA unit or after an encounter with a TASHIGI unit, he will act more reserved, pensive, and a bit mournful. Interactions with your unit in this mode could either deepen your relationship greatly or, with a few misplaced words or actions, ruin it entirely. Please proceed with caution.
Relations with other units:
SANJI: This unit is established as RORONOA ZORO's crewmate. Like beta fish, they will inevitably fight when placed within eyeshot of each other, only agreeing when in the presence of a common enemy. It is advised to keep their interactions to a limit.
CHOPPER: Will show approval & clap when CHOPPER unit enters Scary Pirate Rawr mode and develops a fearsome act, especially if it occurs while facing marine troops.
DRACULE MIHAWK: Your unit's "goal" or "aspiration." He will persistently attempt to defeat the DRACULE MIHAWK unit at every opportunity given. Though your unit is a powerhouse, please prevent constant interaction with these units as the DRACULE MIHAWK unit may break your RORONOA ZORO unit, and we do not cover the expenses of any damages to the owner's house, neighbourhood, continent, or tectonic plate.
STRAWHATS: To all units under the STRAWHAT category he is unwaveringly loyal, caring for them in his own way while putting up with, even joining in on, their strange antics (If your unit denies this claim, simply look him in the eye and state, "Tactic 15." He will stand down).
Feeding:
Though your unit will readily consume any and all forms of alcohol in your possession, please provide regular meals as well as plenty of water to minimize future damages to the mechanic part: KIDNEY.
Cleaning:
Your unit is fully capable of cleaning himself, and will vehemently deny any help offered from the owner. Do not push, even if he smells nauseatingly pungent, as it has yet to be confirmed whether he would allow you to do so or promptly wallop you into the ground.
Rest:
This unit will spend a majority of its time in a comatose-like state of sleep, and there's little you can do about it. If there is an emergency and he must be woken, please refer to Activating your RORONOA ZORO unit.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: I sent my unit to go and get something, but he hasn't returned and I can't find him around, where did he go?
A: It seems your RORONOA ZORO unit has gotten lost. It is advised that you put a mass search party into effect immediately. He could be anywhere by now, so please extend your search to a global scale. To avoid this problem in the future, please ensure he does not wander anywhere without supervision.
Q: My unit is not a green-haired, badass ex-pirate hunter, but rather a smokin' hot older swordsman rocking a stylish hat and a piercing yellow stare, what's going on?
A: Oh my, it seems you have accidentally received a DRACULE MIHAWK unit. If your will is strong enough to resist this gorgeous specimen of pure stoic badassery, feel free to call customer service and send him back, and we'll fix your order straight away.
Q: I think my unit hates me. He hardly seems to acknowledge me, and when he does he's all prickly and blunt. Did I do something wrong?
A: No, no you did not. Unless you're a total arse, that is. It is likely the RORONOA ZORO unit is just awkward, being more comfortable in the field of combat than socializing. Your unit will eventually open up to you in his own adorably prickly and blunt way – even crack the occasional sarcastic joke. Just give it some time.
End Note:
With a little patience and diligence, this lovable sword-wielding Moss Head will become an invested part of your life with minimal collateral damage to speak of!
Hope this was a good read, and feel free to leave a review! They're not mandatory (Because how?), but are really appreciated & I'd love to hear what you think!
Thanks for reading!
Signin' out,
IvoryAddax