Another Success Story


She's gone. Its been weeks since she was here and I still walk down that hallway every night and glance into her room to see if she's in her bed. She's never there. I sit myself by the window and glance out across the street. The buildings take on new shapes as rain slides down the glass in streams. A fog rises from the streets releasing heat into the icy wind and my eyes play tricks on me. Excitement rises as I watch a petite dark figure advance, only to be washed away with disappointment. Its not her, she's not coming back, she's got a good life now. I watch Dfly enter the lodging house instead my heart sinking slowly once more.

I'm a nothing, we all are, with nothing futures. She's got the chance to change that now. She can make something of herself. I should be happy for her right? I should embrace the idea of her getting to go to school and own new dresses in her closet. I'm not though. The thing is I'm not even jealous, I'm worried. She never got schooling before now. Will the people accept her where ever life takes her? Or will they look down on her the same they do us now, spitting at us as we walk the streets with dirt on our faces and sleep deprived eyes. Are her "parents" the kind of people we dream about, or the ones we remember as we fall asleep every night flinching under the sheets from memories flooding our minds.

Everyone's trying to go on just like nothings changed but it has. It has damnit and my best friend is gone! I knew in my heart if I finally found someone to care about, someone to trust and actually worry about, that it would be diminished in a matter of time. Nothing ever lasts. I should know that by now but my child like hopes and dreams make it impossible for reality to set in long enough. How long will I be here? I don't know why I'm still waiting, I cant make my life worth while. I hate her for leaving. How can you just walk into this place and tell us that you do have parents after all, and they want you back in their life?! She tells me they've been looking for her for years and that she might actually have the chance to have a family. Well, Bolt, what were we? We tried to make you happy, we did all that we could, just to give you what you left anyway. Sorry we weren't enough.

"Pinch..? You'se awlright?"
"Jus thinkin..don worry"
"Ya don look so well"
"I'll be fine"
"Stop crying, she's doin good. You sed so yerself"
"yeah.." I feel soft touch on my back, Doll Face's eyes are dark with concern. She slowly turns and leaves the room looking back only once to make sure I'm ok.

I told them that I saw you. I didn't tell them that I followed you when you left. Why don't you come to your window at night? I've sat outside just waiting to talk to you and tell you I miss you for the past week. He came with me last night, he looked as disappointed as anyone when you didn't come. I guess you didn't know you had that impact on us did you?

I feel like she's been taken from me. I'm not too sure how I'm supposed to feel or what I'm supposed to say to anyone. Its almost like she dead for gods sake. I'm talking to her in my mind like she can hear me. To me in a way this is worse than her dying, because I still see her on the street but I cant speak to her. If she was dead maybe she could hear me from heaven if I screamed loud enough. Right now my voice is just falling on deaf ears. The deaf ears of another success story.

I think the rain let up a little. I grab my tattered brown coat and slide it over my shoulders just the way Bumlets used to do. It was his you know. Of course you know, your the one who told him how sick I was and asked if there were any spare clothes I could wear while sellin this winter. I leave my cap beside my bed, its a sure way for your parents to know who I am if we are caught talking tonight. I open the window slowly, checking to make sure my room mate is asleep before I slip out into the darkness. I was wrong about the rain, it pounds the streets heavily with no sign of backing down. I think God, if there is a God, I think he's mad that you left too and this is his way of showing it. I wonder solemnly if you'll be sitting at your window looking into the rain the same as I was. Maybe you'll see me tonight, maybe I can tell you how much I miss you.