AU. Remus has never and will never take an interest in Tonks.

When November moves into 12 Grimmauld, romance begins to grow between her and Remus Lupin. But he is too old and too dangerous, or so he thinks. When chance causes her to catch Lucius's eye, November begins a second romance as a spy for the Order. Jealousy, sexual tension, and a romance that can never be public ensue! And if Lucius finds out...

M later in the story for: some dark themes, sexual content, violence

This story has had about a million titles and descriptions so forgive me for that. My other stories had titles that just came to me but this one was harder.

Chapter 1: Questions

November stared up at the house before her. It had emerged from the row of houses where it had previously been hidden and her stomach dropped as recognition set in.

"The Black Family home?"

Alastor Moody, who stood in front of her, eye spinning crazily, nodded and grinned at her.

"You said you'd find me a home, not a penitentiary, sir."

"I said I'd keep you safe. This is the safest place in all of London. Come on. I'll get yer bags."

November shook her head in disbelief; there was more that was Mad about him than just his eye.

The house was no better on the inside. Her bags were thumped down in the entry way and Moody took off down a corridor leaving her alone in the house. She paid no attention. Moody always showed up again eventually.

Absently November pulled her long hair back and began to inspect her new "home." She still could not believe it. She was very truly no one special and yet she had been a target of the Death Eaters. For the past six years November had worked as a secretary in the Ministry, being shuffled around from office to office until she ended up filing paperwork for Mad-Eye. Given his namesake eyeball, it took him about five seconds to realize she was "likeminded" about the changes in the Ministry. She was instantly and somewhat reluctantly introduced into his world and undertakings.

Dust rained down on her as someone walked across the floor above her. She hoped it was only Moody. The wood was all dark, closing in the large space.

Unlike Moody or Tonks, she could go unnoticed and did so when he had asked, but not otherwise. And yet…her notes and photos were in her bag, the only remainder of her home that she had not managed to ferret into her office before the explosion. The Muggles said "gas leak" but the Daily Prophet said "foul play."

In a side room a tapestry hung along the wall. Inspecting it she was able to pick out various members of the Black family. Only respect for the artifact as a relic kept her from defacing half of them.

She had fallen through the cracks, alive but presumed dead. Invisible and unknown though still very much herself. November did not even know what had put her on the radar to begin with, and that was part of the reason Mad-Eye had gone looking for her. He had found her and insisted on bringing her here, to be safe and to figure out what exactly she had noticed or where she had gone that had ended her life.

Passing back through, she wandered slowly up the stairs. This was certainly nowhere she thought she would ever see the inside of…

November turned around and let out a stifled shriek. Eyes were watching her. She tripped on the hem of her robe and went down, banging her head on the banister. The only sound in the following silence was her swearing loudly. It made her wonder how big this house really was. Standing slowly, November found herself staring at Walburga Black, whose painting was hug at exactly eye level. The dark witch glowered at her venomously but did not speak.

"What, crow?" November snarled, rubbing the bump on her forehead.

"You dishonor the Pure Blood name. You are worse than my son." The painting's voice was beginning to rise into a shrill scream. This occurrence November had been warned about, mercifully.

"Don't talk to me about honor, harpy." November dropped the heavy cloth over the painting, stifling Mrs. Black. She shook her head, feeling ill. She hated being from "pure" blood and she hated that Mrs. Black knew it with one look at her. As a child, her parents had encouraged her to marry as she wanted, that the bloodline did not matter. At school, she was told the opposite by her peers. Luckily, upbringing was stronger than peer influence.

November headed back down to the entryway. She was going to have to tell Moody there was no way. She was going to have to leave, that hiding in parks was easier than this …

But a sound caught her attention. It was a man's sound. It was a pained sound. It was coming from a landing off to her left.

A sliver of light leaked out from a not fully closed door. Slowly and almost silently, November nudged the door open to look inside.

It was a library. In the center of the room was a man. He was taller than her and thin, but not healthy thin. His shirt was half unbuttoned and she could see why he sounded as if he were in pain. His midlength grey-brown hair hung over his defined features as he looked down at unhealed gashes and cuts ribboning his chest.

The floor creaked. He looked up at her. With a small gasp she turned and ran.

Remus Lupin had not been having much luck. With the political climate being what it was, he could not even get a job other than those Dumbledore lined up for him. The full moon had been five days ago and the wounds still weren't healing. Magic was little use against werewolf wounds in general and it required someone with better healing skills than himself. Usually he could find a person who fit that description, but since moving into Grimmauld Place he had been on his own.

Lupin was surprised to have these thoughts interrupted by a creak of old floorboards and to look up and find someone watching him. He took off after the person, wandless. People did not just drop in here so an unexpected visitor was not a welcome sight.

He caught her in the hall, not realizing it was a her until he had a grip in her wrist. Not that she wasn't feminine, he just hadn't been paying much attention. Remus found himself face to face with a tall, willowy witch he did not recognize. In the glance that he was able to catch of her face he saw she had an unusual sort of prettiness.

She backed quietly against the entryway wall and looked at her hands, long and thin, as she wrung them together. She looked embarrassed but not alarmed by him catching her.

"I did not mean to scare you," he spoke, trying to make his voice sound more friendly and less rusty.

"You didn't." Her answer was factual and she still did not look up.

"How did you find yourself here?" He was wary of her but she didn't seem threatening. Not that seem mattered one niffler's whisker.

"Alastor Moody."

Remus realized she really wasn't going to give him any more information than she had to. He held back a sigh; he couldn't leave her here to go see if Moody was here and he didn't have his wand.

Her eyes were running over his chest and he self-consciously crossed his arms across his body, his shirt sleeves soaking up some blood as he did so.

"Does it hurt?"

The lady was talking softly and Remus could not hear her. "Sorry?"

Her eyes snapped up to him, dark brown eyes. "Does it hurt?"

"Somewhat." It was Lupin's turn to hold back. Being a lycanthrope wasn't something you told just anyone about.

"I could help."

"Oh. No, it's rather…complex. But-"

With a cold sickness, he watched her wand snap out of her sleeve. He had guessed wrong about her and now…Oh Merlin. His hands crept up, palms out toward her, in a gesture of submission. Maybe he could talk his way out it. He had always been the one to get the Marauders out of trouble.

Abruptly, pain hit. He let out a loud cry of pain and clutched at his chest, his knees giving out with the suddenness of it. She wasn't speaking but he could tell she was doing something to him, and her pale face showed concentration. It felt as if he were being sewn shut with fire. Gasping, he moved his hands and watched the skin bind shut and heal. Scars remained but the wounds were closed. He traced a hand over his chest, impressed.

Remus felt a hand under his arm and someone helped him stand. His knees were weak from the sudden pain but it was fading. The woman helped him lean back against the wall.

"Sorry…I just thought…it's better to ask forgiveness than permission, you know?"

Lupin only stared at her and he watched her glow red. That had been…exceptionally odd. But she had clearly healed him and that said something for her.

Remus buttoned up his bloody shirt and bowed to her, holding out his hand. "Remus John Lupin."

"November Helena Cadogan." She took his hand, showing a real smile now.

He hoped she would be sticking around, even if she did give the impression she was holding you up and performed spells on you without your consent. Sirius wasn't fun company these days and he was sick of it being an all male affair.

The familiar speedy clomping reached their ears and Mad-Eye appeared around the corner.

"I see you met our other resident!" he boomed at them. Neither was sure exactly whom that was addressed to. He made it clear by talking to November exclusively. "Remus also occupies this…"

"Hell-hole?" She finished for him.

Remus sniggered and Moody looked stern. "Maybe it's not a palace but I swear to you it is safe, November."

"Safe?" The deliberate mention of safe had caught Lupin's attention.

"We'll have it all out over the meeting tonight. Lupin, why are you all bloody?"

"Our line of work does not lend itself to pain free living, Alastor."

Moody harrumphed agreement with the sentiment and grabbed up November's bags. "I'll show you t' your room. Molly has it ready for you and you can rest till dinner."

Moody, with unusual tact, waited until they were well out of earshot from Lupin.

"Snuck up on him and healed him didn't you?"

Her face turned berry red and she tripped on a step. "Every time I try to explain the charm the witch or wizard decides they don't like the sound of it and refuse to allow it. But it always works at closing up wounds."

"It's based on Muggle practices, November. Staples?"

"Stitches," she corrected a bit huffily.

"Can you blame them?"

She opened her mouth to fight back but saw he was teasing her and shut it sulkily. "I do realize it's impossible for me to make a good first impression. It's not as though I enjoy it."

"He'll come around. You always win people over in the end." He dropped her bags in a room on the third floor, tromped out, and motioned for her to enter.

November looked in on her new room. It was less awful than she had expected. All of the signs of the previous owner had been cleared out and by the decorations that remained it had been a guest room even in its older days. The bed was a giant brass affair and a grey down comforter filled it; there was a large dark wood wardrobe against the wall and a bookshelf next to the bed. Her own possessions she had hidden away at the Ministry were in piles here and there.

"I'll leave you to it and send Remus after you for dinner." Moody winked at her and closed the door.

Packing and unpacking had always been very therapeutic for November. Her family had moved a lot, especially during the last rise of the Dark Lord, and she was a very efficient packer. She enjoyed starting with a clean space, like a canvas, and filling it slowly with her things and her own touches throughout. There were certain things that always came with her, one being a silver and pearl ring, which she now pulled out of a velvety bag and slipped into its customary place on her middle right finger. Now to begin on the clothes…

Sirus had been informed that there would be a woman moving in. Naturally, this was of some interest to him. Isolation did not bring women by very often, and if it did they were married or practically children.

He had stood watching her too long though and she sensed him. A wand pointed at his nose and he held his hands out to her, showing them empty.

"It's okay, Red. I'm –"

"Sirius Black," she finished, unemotionally. "Like I could not recognize you."

He squinted at her, now amused. "You don't trust me. Did they tell you-"

"Yes," she interrupted again. Very slowly the wand inched down. "But it's still very difficult to not hex you on sight. You are the most wanted wizard of our times, and until recently I would have said you deserved it."

Sirius grinned at her dashingly. "And a pleasure to meet you too, Miss...?"

"You should be able to remember should you not?"

He gave her a quizzical look. She must have been at Hogwarts while they were. He felt a prickle of guilt at having been totally wrapped up in a small and exclusive clique for seven straight years. Not that he regretted it, but as an adult he now realized there was a lot he had missed.

"November," she finally gave him her name, smirking. She knew he didn't know her; she hadn't been in his class or anything but it was fun to put him on the defense after he startled her.

"Well, I'll leave you to your unpacking, November. I just wanted to introduce myself as the master of this fine prison."

A smile cracked through her stern face. Apparently nobody was thrilled about being here. She watched him leave and called out after him.

"Call me Red again, and I won't refrain from hexing you into next week."

Sirius grinned to himself. This was a welcome change indeed.

November listened from her room to the sounds of people coming into the house two floors below. Her nerves had gotten the better of her. Her story was just so…unexplained. She really didn't want to have to explain things yet another time.

Two floors below, Remus and Sirius had their heads together in a corner.

"She just sneak attack healed you?"

"Yes."

"Odd…"

"Yes. And she told you we should know who she is?"

"Yeah."

"I…don't recognize her at all."

"Me neither. Though, speaking of, someone should go and tell her we're almost ready down here."

"Be my guest. She doesn't seem thrilled to see my face."

"Mine is only better for the time being. Until she finds out."

"Oh, don't be such a storm cloud, Moony. She's cute after all."

Remus rolled his eyes at his friend and began the climb up the stairs.

November jumped at the knock on her door but opened it with a flick of her wand.

"The meeting is about ready to begin."

At the ground floor she was quickly gathered up by Moody who lead her into the dinning room.

Lupin entered the dining room just in time to see Molly Weasley dash to November and grab her up in a tight hug. Arthur was close behind and hugged the new woman close as well. Remus could have sworn there were tears in the corners of November's eyes.

"Hmmm…" murmured Remus. There seemed to be a history with the Weasleys that went beyond just working at the Ministry. His amber eyes followed as she was lead off to the kitchen.

The meeting progressed through dinner with Snape arriving last. Sirius nearly fell out of his chair when Snape greeted November by name with no introduction.

"We have to go through old photos and figure out who she is. Can't be one behind Snivelus," Sirius whispered to Remus.

Albus stood at the head of the table and gradual silence fell over the occupants.

"While for some of you this is a chance to reaquaint yourselves with Miss Cadogan, some of you may not know her and her recent life events have bearing in the larger picture of the wizarding world. At the request of Alastor, no names were given in the recent Prophet reports about the Death Eater attack on a Ministry employee. We can now tell you that this employee was November."

Murmurs broke across the table.

"For those of you who have not heard this report, November's apartment was incinerated after being ransacked. Muggle reports listed it as a gas leak. November herself escaped. However, she is now legally deceased in both the Muggle world and the wizarding world."

There was total silence.

"Because of these circumstances, November has joined the Order for both protection and to offer her assistance. There is quite a lot you can do when you do not exist. She is to take up residency here in Grimmauld Place and will be working as part of the Order. November suspects, as I do, that she possesses something of interest to the Death Eaters who searched her home. The Order will do all it can to assist her in her search for the cause of these attacks."

Dumbldore sat again and gently squeezed November's hand. She smiled but when Molly asked for a volunteer to help clear things away, November was first out of the room.

Remus followed, trying to seem nonchalant. Sirius gave him a suggestive thumbs-up and Lupin shot him a disapproving look. He felt bad for her. That was all.

"Thank you, Lupin dear!" Molly crowed when she saw him take up a spot at the sink. "Just rinse for November."

The witch had already begun furiously washing plates, five of them done already. Remus rolled up his sleeves and began to rinse and stack the dishes. He stayed silent, more hoping to offer the possibility of talking than a nagging voice.

"Ravenclaw."

"Pardon?"

"I was in Ravenclaw."

Remus tried to catch a better look at her face. Still nothing. But then…she licked her lips slowly, pulling her lower lip under her front teeth. That he did remember.

"You were a Prefect. Fourth year my Seventh?"

She smiled at the dishes. "Indeed, I was."

"You looked different then…" On saying it he realized it was a little stupid.

"So did you. I only ever saw you like this," and she held a plate just under her eyes pretending to read and shielding half of her face.

Remus laughed quietly. That sounded about right.

Dishes done, the pair rejoined the meeting. He was glad to see she at least looked less stressed when they came back to the dining room.

"With the changes in schedules and the addition of a new member," Dumbledore began loudly, quieting as the room silenced, "there are some changes in the pairings for Order shifts. First and foremost, Remus you will be paired with November. I feel it would be easiest for the two of you to work together seeing as you occupy the same living space. Tomorrow night?"

Remus nodded, understanding the pairing and the question. He had been staking out corners of Knockturn Alley and the fields around Hogsmead the past few nights; tomorrow it would be with November.

The next day November did not leave her room until well in the evening. Her day was absorbed in her notebook.

In all the years she had worked in the Ministry she had kept tabs on all of the goings on of the people she worked with. She had served as a secretary to half the people in the Ministry and so the notebook was filled. Some of the notes were merely who owed her a favor or who needed something. But in the past few years the notes had become much more sinister.

And then…he had died. She pushed his name to the back of her mind. She still did not know why and now she was "dead" as well. She had hoped for a while that maybe he was only as "dead" as she was, but Arthur had given her the sad proof.

She finally snapped the cover shut and threw a concealment charm over the book. Still no answers. Secrets, yes. Conversations over heard and incriminating, yes. But anything that would lead to her demise? No.

Remus was waiting below when she dashed down the stairs to meet him.

"Sorry."

"Ready?"

She nodded. They stepped out of the house and once on the street took his arm, apparating away.

She found herself in a field looking down on Hogsmeade and in the distance Hogwarts.

"Here?"

"Yes. We just wait. If anything turns up, we investigate."

"And I labored under the misconception that what you all do is exciting."

Remus laughed and sat against a stump, pulling a book from his pocket. With a pointed look at November he held the book covering half of his face and began to read.

Hours passed and November ran details through her mind like sand through a sieve, hoping one would stand out and give some answer. And Remus read, absorbed in the book.

When turning pages he did note the ring she spun on her finger. Finally curiosity overcame him.

"Your ring…" he smiled to himself realizing he was now modeling her style of conversation. "may I?"

She held her hand out and was surprised when he took her hand in both of his. He looked the ring over closely while she did the same to him by the light of the stars and the moon. His face was defined and strong, but not sharp and jutting like her own. And the scars…there were hundreds of fine white scars and one or two purple-red scars of more serious injuries. She only knew a certain kind of person who would accumulate so many scars in parallel groups of four…but that was his business, she decided. The half moon over her told her she was safe tonight.

"It's a lovely ring," he said, releasing her hand gently. The ring was large and silver. The main part of the ring was flat and diamond shaped, curving around her finger. In it were pearls, and grey gemstones, smoky and sparkling.

She beamed at him for the second time ever. "Thank you."

He was about to go back to his book when she caught his attention.

"I realize we had a … special introduction but …Would it be a terrible bother if we just…talked?"

"No. Not at all." He tucked the novel back into his cloak.

"Who are you?"

The question took him back. "Remus-"

She cut him off. "No…like…what do you like to do, what food do you like, what do you never want to do ever again?"

Remus's eyebrows jumped up into his hair and a smile crept across his face. It had been a long time since anyone had asked him kinds questions, or really any questions about himself. He had been long surrounded by people he had known for years and men did not really ask those questions of each other.

He leaned forward, resting his elbow on his knee and his chin in his hand. "Well, let's see…"

The two of them nearly overstayed their shift, risking being seen by Hogsmeade below them.

Whatever questions Remus answered always led to more questions from November. They were non-invasive and often light. She seemed content to just listen to someone talk and seemed genuinely interested in the answers he gave her. Everything about her relaxed as they talked and he found himself absorbed in the conversation. When her questions were turned back on her, she had a ready answer as if they were all subjects she had thought of before.

Her least favorite food was blood pudding (because blood was not intended for consumption) and his least favorite item of clothing was overly long scarves (because the options were wrap yourself up like a mummy or trail the ends like Dr. Who). If she were a color she would be grey and he decided he would be an owl if he were an Animagus (he comforted his conscience by telling it that a wolf would not have been his choice). She liked feathers but thought feather dusters were gross and he hated wool because of the way it felt when wet.

They apparated back to Grimmauld Place, still continuing the conversation.

"Last questions," November yawned, grinning but looking forward to her bed. "What was your best year at Hogwarts?"

"Third."

"The forging of the Fiends?"

"Fiends?" Remus sounded shocked and November giggled. Molly had left them coffee and November poured them both a cup.

"That's what the Ravenclaws in my year called you four. You drove them all crazy. We can be a stuffy bunch sometimes."

"Always good to have my pride checked I suppose," he drawled at her but he was smiling as he said it. "You?"

"Fourth I suppose. Everything just went well that year. And your question?"

"Questions?" Sirius had come to wish them a good morning after a night of not sleeping.

"It passes the time," November explained. "You have a go then. Just ask any question you can think of."

"Last wizard you dated?" Sirius's grin died when the witch he had meant to tease blanched white. He had hit a nerve somehow. "Merlin! I didn't mean to –"

"It's fine," she brushed his protests aside. She collected herself and thought back. "Excepting one, Xenophilius Lovegood."

Remus shot coffee across the room and Sirius stared open mouthed.

"You cannot be serious," Remus coughed. "He is certifiably insane."

November shrugged. "You taught Luna right?"

"Yes."

"She's a sweet girl, largely because he's a good father. He's a good man. But yes, he is insane." November grinned at the still surprised men. "Well, I'm off to bed. Good morning to you both."

"That was unexpected," smirked Sirius once she had gone upstairs.

"I truly wondered how he met his wife. But I suppose there must have been some charm in him."

"Not what I meant."

Remus looked at his friend questioningly.

"You leave here with the quietest witch I have ever seen and you come back laughing and thick as thieves."

"And…?" Remus did not like the look he was getting.

"Oh nothing."

Lupin rolled his eyes. "It isn't unheard of to just talk to a woman, Sirius. You could even try it yourself sometime."
"And of course you wouldn't mind."

Lupin gave him an unimpressed look.

"Alright! Just checking. If my best friend's falling for someone, I want to be in on it."

"Should someone ever be unfortunate enough for that to happen, you'll be the first to know. Night."

Sirius smirked at Lupin's retreating form. "I'm sure I will," he murmured to himself.

I tried writing this in a very different tone and manner before and it didn't go so well…But I still love the ideas I had for it so I have restarted and refreshed it.

And don't worry: She isn't a MarySue who is the most vital character of all time and who must be protected at all costs. Just a victim in the darkening wizarding world.

If you're looking for Lucius, he will crop up a bit later in the story so keep reading!

Review if you are interested in seeing this continue! Also, reviewers get previews of the next chapter!