Who's who, by Ratchet
"Hey, Sunny," Sideswipe said walking over to his yellow brother, "I found Ratchet's Audio journal. You want to help edit it?"
"No. If he catches us changing it, he'll turn us into Femme bots!" Sunstreaker said snatching it from him.
"Then let's go outside and listen to it, he won't know that it was ever touched."
"I'll pick the spot."
They climb on top of the ship and squeeze into a small cave they found a month before. Sunny puts it on the floor and plays it. Ratchet's face pops over it in hologram form and speaks, "Today is Earth day Monday. Hello, I'm Optimus Prime's Chief Medical officer Ratchet, I arrived here on earth at the same time as everyone else. Enough about me, I'm going to tell you about the crew, let's starts with Optimus. Optimus is our leader. He is the largest among us, yes, that includes the Dino-bots. He is a friend to everyone, except the Decepticons, no one likes them. He is wise, but catches on too quickly to the earth lingo... mumble mumble... Anyway, he is not what you would consider a "Perfect Patient"." he said making air quotes. "He can be rather stubborn when everyone's injured, and squeamish when it's his turn. Maybe it's my wrench, maybe, it's the look I give when I say "oops", I don't know." Ratchet pauses for a moment in thought, then roll his optics and resumes, "Optimus is the closest one to me who feels like a brother. Then again, I think he treats all our troops like that. And like everyone else, he's made friends with a human named Spike. Spike is our human guide to this world. He's not known for being very bright. I think he burnt out his brain bulb at a young age."
"Why would that not surprise me?" Sunny jokes.
"Honestly, I think he's a shaved dog in human clothes. His dad, on the other hand, Spark-plug, is a human. He likes to help me and Wheeljack every once in a while..." Sideswipe pauses it and looks at the bot casting a head shadow.
Jazz smiles at them, "Are you listenin' to Ratchet's Audio journal?"
"No. Why do you ask?" Sunstreaker asked trying to hide it with his foot.
"Ratchet's been looking for it for ten minutes now, and he looks mighty mad." Jazz said climbing in.
"Wait, how did you know where to find us?" Sides asked stopping him from coming any closer.
"You two honestly think that you're the only one's who found this cave? Wheeljack dug it out for experiments, you can still see the scorch marks from the last one. Oh, if you fast forward about two minutes, Ratchet starts talking about you two."
"Wait, you've listened to it before?" Sunny asked sitting back down.
"I may have snuck in his room to listen." Jazz admits as he sits next to Sides.
"Where you ever caught?" Sideswipe asked
"I still have a dent from the last time I took a peek." he said showing his left shoulder.
"Wait, could you hear us playing it?" Sunny asked as Sideswipe fast forward the recording.
"Not til I was a half foot away the opening here." he points at the cave entrance.
"Shh, I want to here this part." Sides said playing it.
"... doesn't need a new paint job. The only disguise he can't pull off is a building, he wiggles too much. The only ones he can't seem to fool are the twins, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. Sunny and Sides are their nicknames and the best way to describe them is this, telepathic pranksters. The two seem welded at the hip half the time, the other half of the time I weld them at the ear. It's fairly easy to threaten them. They will believe every word I say, even if I can't carry it out, like turning them into femmes. Sideswipe is Sunstreaker's bridge to reality. How do I know this, you might ask. Well, at one point Sideswipe was captured by the decepticons and stuck in a stasis pod. Sunstreaker became more aggressive, distant, and self absorbed. It scared the oil out of Spike and the rest of the team. I was the only one able to talk to him for the whole week Sides was gone. From what I can tell, Sunny only has three categories for others; family, pets, or coworkers. I think I'm the closest thing they have to a father, and honestly, I wish I was. Sure they like to paint me like a character from a comic book, and bug me when I work. But when they get scared, they run to my room and argue on who had the nightmare before climbing in my bed to cuddle. Neither of them knows the meaning of "personal space". Every morning on those days, I have to wait for them to wake up first before getting to work." Ratchet sighs, "I usually wake up from lost energon circulation in my arms and light pain near my lower legs and ankles from them constantly trying to kick each other in their sleep. Some times just to get a response, I say, "Okay, daddy needs to get to work." and it's adorable when the try to pull me back, saying, "Five more minutes, daddy.". Sideswipe is the younger one, and he clearly looks up to his brother. He's just as reckless and dangerous, but he understands things like humans, bots, and life. He's a lot more gentle with others, mostly making jokes and seeking attention from them. I know I said that I want to adopt them, but there are times when they just irk me to no end, reminding me why I haven't signed the papers yet. But on top of it all, I wouldn't switch them out for anyone else." he said with a far away look in his optic and a smile. He blinks for a moment, "Sorry, I'm still recording. Now, who did I... oh, yeah, Cliffjumper..."
Sideswipe pauses it and looks at Sunstreaker, "Ratchet wants to adopt us?"
"We also irk him." Sunstreaker comments.
"Quick, hide it, Ratchet's coming!" Jazz said looking out of the cave. They quickly toss it between each other in a panic and Sideswipe ends up having to hide it behind his back when Ratchet entered.
"What's going on here?" Ratchet asked looking at the badly whistling group.
"Nothing dad!" Sideswipe said quickly. Sunstreaker and Jazz puts a palm over their faces.
Ratchet's frown lightened a bit and an optic brow raised, "You were listening to my Journal, weren't you?"
"Are you mad?" Sunstreaker asked halfway uncovering his face. Ratchet holds out his hand and Sides gives it to him. He holds up a wrench in his other hand, "Don't tell anyone what you heard, this is our secret, deal?"
The three look at each other, then at Ratchet, "Deal."
"And no touching it, or I will weld your hides together."
"You sure you can do that?" Jazz challenged.
Ratchet glares at him, puts the wrench on his hip and changes his hand into a welding torch, "Yes."
after he leaves, Sides asks, "So, who on the team can keep a secret?"
"Mirage." they all said in unison.