He could feel the fire burning within his fingertips. The heat was rising with every second, along with his anger and impatience. Ice, it had to be ice. He thought. She couldn't have magical earth powers that created static trees. It had to be ice that turned alive and attacked us. Before him was a huge snowman, with spikes on its elbows and kneecaps and nails. The creature swung its arms with much might, colliding with the men. The snow stung their faces, made them dripping with freezing water. He could see their faces become red as the blood rushed to the surface of their cool skin. These men were in danger because Queen Elsa had a hissy fit. Dumb ice witch had to spoil everything. Had to spoil his plans, and ruin everything.
A witch. Elsa was a witch. But if she was a witch, what did that make Hans? A wizard? To be honest a wizard didn't sound as deathly as a witch. More friendly, and kind. Yet it did still sound bad. Sounded, inhuman. Hans didn't think he was inhuman. His brothers did, his mother and father did. The people who knew of his powers thought he was inhuman, but that didn't make it true. He found himself to be just as human as everyone else. He just had a sixth sense, you could say. One extra ability that no one else had. And should he be ridiculed for this? Shunned away, and ignored by his own family for up to two years? He hadn't even done anything wrong. He was just sitting with his fingers spread wide open, letting the heat glow and flicker in front of his eyes. He just melted the snow away from their grass with a snap of the finger and the flick of his wrist.
He hadn't done anything. But when his older sister, Adele, saw him in his room, watching the potential flame at his fingertips, she screamed and called for their mother. Hans was only five when this happened. When his mother burst through the door, ran in and held onto him, squeezing him extremely hard and sobbing uncontrollably. Words were coming out of her rapidly like a spreading fire. It was hard for him to catch all of them. But there were a few he could make out. Demon, wizard, sorcerer, possessed, danger. At the time he didn't realize what she meant, but the two years proceeding when everyone was too afraid to go near him, he understood what those things were.
It was strange how he could live in a house with fifteen other people, yet still feel so alone. He'd sit in his room, rubbing his fingers together to create a spark, alone. On the outside of his door he could hear his brothers and sister laughing as they played, he could hear them communicating and being joyful. Sometimes he liked to look out his window and see them playing in the courtyard. Throwing a ball around, hide and seek, tag. Sometimes when it was snowing and they were cold, he would snap his tiny fingers and make the snow melt. The kids didn't appreciate that though. They would glare at his window, then leave to someplace where he couldn't watch them.
Hans spent a lot of time in his room reading, studying for useless tests, counting the scratches on the walls or in the trees outside. He didn't do anything of great remembrance, and the isolation was getting to him. Shoved away from human kind completely, shut off from the world. He was truly alone. Without anyone.
It was after a long time, when he was around seven, when there was a knock on the door. Not just any knock, a cheerful one. Hans opened his eyes, and got up from his comfy bed. He figured it was the normal knock. One of the servants bringing him food, or coming to ask him how he was. But when he opened the door, he was puzzled. His entire body became idle. The person on the other side of the door gave a weak, sorrowful smile.
"Hans." They said. So easily too. Just letting his name slip off their tongue, like they hadn't avoided saying it for two years.
Hans cleared his throat, though it was hard to do so considering he could feel it tightening.
"Adele." Hans didn't know whether he should be happy, sad, angry, irritated, regretful, or resentful. He was just a boiling pot of wonder at this point.
Adele twiddled her fingers, but kept her eyes on Hans. After a moment of awkward silence, she spoke.
"How have you been?"
"Fine."
"Yeah?"
"Of course. The same I've always been."
Hans didn't know how he was doing it. Holding a conversation with one of his siblings. He missed them so much. He missed them smiling with him and laughing and running around. He missed it more than anything.
In the midst of Hans thinking about this, Adele wrapped her arms around him, letting his warmth cover him. He could feel her shoulders shudder. She was crying.
"I'm so sorry Hans. I'm so sorry I let this all this happen. I miss you. I miss you so much. I wish I had never screamed to mom. I wish I had talked to you. I miss you. Please forgive me, Hans. Please, please, please."
Hans didn't respond, just stood still and let the girl cry her regrets out over his shoulders. So many tears, uncontrolled sobbing. Hans tried to smile, but he could feel tears coming up too. He blinked numerous times to try and make them go away, but he wasn't very successful. They came spewing out of his eyes like a dripping water faucet. He laughed too, and held onto Adele. His shoulders were shaking now, and he began to sob. The two of them were a wreck of tears and regrets, holding onto each other, fearing if they let go they would disappear again. The two of them stayed like this for another five minutes, when Hans let go and stepped back, he was smiling. He wiped his face with his sleeves and sniffled a bit. His eyes were red and swollen, and his cheeks were red too.
"So, uhm. Do you want to play? Show me what you can do that you've been hiding for so long?" Adele asked.
It's not like Hans had been hiding it at all. He didn't control what had happened to him. His powers were suppressed by his family. Shoved away by everyone else. But Hans didn't correct Adele. He didn't know what she had known about the entire situation, for all he knew Adele could have been a victim just as much as he was. Hans cleared his throat, smiled and nodded.
"Great!" Said Adele, and she grabbed onto Hans' hand and began to run down the hall.
. . . .
Hans was sixteen now, lying in his bed and staring up at a flame he played with betwixt his fingers. His white gloves were off now, sitting beside him. He wore them to keep the fire from spreading in his fingers. He found that he could conceal his powers a lot easier with this specific fabric over his hands. It was one of the conditions his mother gave him if he wanted to roam freely among his thirteen siblings, and members of the castle. Also to stay away from the kitchen entirely, and avoid any angry emotions. Hans, of course, was okay with this. He was a somber child, he didn't see much in the world to be angry with. Except with the occasional toe stub, or water spill. He would exclaim his anger with a shout and a jerk of the arms. But nothing had ever happened because of the gloves he was wearing.
His eyes were still among the heat of the flame when there was a knock on his door. He let the flame die out and quickly put on his gloves. He cleared his throat, "Come in."
Adele stepped through the door smiling, holding a tray with soup and crackers. Hans sat up, smiling as well.
"I brought some lunch. Figured you would be hungry." Adele told him. Adele was seventeen. She seemed to favor Hans over everyone else. They spent the most time together. So much so it seemed as if they knew each other very well, but the rest of the brothers in the castle were complete strangers to them. A lot of them had moved out of the castle to pursue a different life. Considering, their brother Aleks who was twenty nine now had taken the throne over everyone else. A lot of the other brothers didn't have a chance of experiencing ruling their kingdom. Hans didn't mind though. To be fair, he thought Aleks deserved this part. He had been working all his life. From the day he was born, Aleks has had to do everything he could to be the perfect king. Going to classes, eating perfectly, dressing appropriately, and speaking kindly and crisp. Hans was very happy for Aleks and his success as king. It's something he's been looking forward to a lot of his life.
Even so, it was unfortunate being a prince without a throne to look forward to. It made him feel like having the title of prince useless. A waste even. He didn't think about it too much. Right at that second, he was thinking about the soup he was fishing into his mouth when his older sister spoke again.
"I'm getting married." Hans stopped for a moment, holding onto his spoon, staring into his soup.
"Married? When? To who?" His head jerked up to look at his sister, who was now sitting next to him. She had a sad smile on her face.
"On my eighteenth name day." She looked up and into his eyes. "To a prince."
It took a moment for Hans to process what she was saying. He was connecting the dots in his head through his surprise, when he realized the entirety of the situation.
"You're going to be a queen. . ." Hans couldn't tell if it was a statement or a question, but either way he felt lost. Adele nodded in delight, hesitant delight. He couldn't tell if she was happy about it or not. Hans looked down again, not knowing how he felt about this.
"Who is the lucky guy?" Hans questioned, and chuckled a bit as if it were a joke.
"I actually don't know. Mom and dad picked him for me. I'm meeting him tomorrow." Hans' smile immediately went away. An arranged marriage? Adele? That was not his sister Adele. She would never be okay with this. Marrying her life away to a complete stranger. And for what? A throne? Is she that desperate to experience what her father and Aleks have? Hans would never do this. Marry a stranger for power. He began to wonder what exactly was going on with Adele.
"You've never met the man? Don't you think that's irrational? How could you be okay with this?" Hans couldn't explain why, but he was starting to get angry over her decision. How could she? How could she marry someone and leave Hans behind? She was the only light in his life, the one who saved him from the darkness. Now she was going to a different kingdom, to bring others happiness. Hans didn't understand, but he could feel the heat rise inside of him. He dropped his spoon on the tray over his lap. His hands were tingling with the urge to set fire, but the gloves kept him from doing so. He looked down at his hands, bewildered, when a set of delicate hands laid over his. His gaze moved to Adele.
"Remember when I told you I wanted to be like Aleks? When you were twelve, and daddy had died? I wanted to be like him. Take on a throne, and save people from anguish. We were both so proud of him, and everything he did. He made everybody happy, and saved our kingdom, The Southern Aisles. I want to be like him. I want to save people, and make them happy. Even if it means marrying this man, as long as I can help others." Her eyes were tearing up, showing her doubt in her decisions. One droplet of sadness spilled out slowly, but she didn't wipe it away. She kept her hands firm on Hans' gloves, as if to keep him from tearing them off. He could feel her hands sweating through the gloves from the heat.
Adele. What was Hans going to do without Adele there by his side? Sure he had his brothers, but a lot of them were gone, and the ones left didn't love Hans. Not like Adele. She was the only thing he had left. If the light went away, the only thing he had was the fire to light up the darkness. Tears were cascading down her face, but she still kept a sincere smile. Hans smiled too, but it was shaky. His vision was getting blurry.
"Adele. You're my bestfriend." Hans moved his hand away to dry his eyes, but when he pressed them to his face, heat replaced the water and he felt a sting.
"Ah!" He exclaimed. He kept his gaze transfixed on his gloves for a moment, when he looked at Adele. She had her face in her hands, shoulders shaking. At first he thought she was laughing, but really, she was crying. Hans looked at her, unsure of what to do.
"Adele?" She looked up and wiped her face immediately. "I'm sure you'll be a great queen. No matter who is next to you."
. . . .
Everything was dark. Completely pitch black. Hans felt heat all around him and for the first time in forever, the heat wasn't created by him. A bag was tied to his head, making it difficult for him to breathe. His hands were tied behind his back, his legs tied together. He squirmed in the ropes, unsure of what to do. His breathing was getting heavy, and raspy. He could feel himself panicking. What was happening? Where was he? Was this a dream? He didn't even remember how he got there. The walls were closing in around him and swallowing him whole, it had to be a dream.
"Look. He's squirming, he's awake." A brisk voice that had had too much smoke in its lung spoke. He flinched in fear and surprise. His mind was racing through possibilities. Maybe he was kidnapped. He could escape. Use his fire to somehow cut the ropes and let him run free. Or play dead until they left and used fire while they were gone. Or kill them immediately after he's free. No. He thought. He couldn't do that. Never. Hans could never kill another human being, no matter how horrible they were. He doesn't want to be the monster everyone expects him to be.
Hans closed his eyes and breathed deeply in and out. His body needed to relax, his being needed to be serene. Panicking was the last thing to do in this situation. He needed to calm down, and think clearly.
"Hey, princey. You awake?" The same dark voice called to him again. There was no hiding the fact he was conscious, so he simply nodded. The man chuckled.
"Alright then." He said. Hans could hear footsteps coming towards him, and then the bag was ripped from his head. He let in a strong breath of fresh, cool air. He closed his eyes and relaxed, finally able to breathe well. The man in front of him was large, muscular, and intimidating. He was smiling down at Hans, holding a knife. "Good morning sunshine." He said with a laugh. Hans just sat and stared at the cold hard and dirty wood floor, trying to concentrate his attention somewhere else. But the man wasn't okay with this. He bents down to Hans' level, and grabbed his chin with a tight grip, shooting pain through Hans' jaw.
"I said good morning, sunshine." His breath smelled of lack of cleanliness, like feces that head been left out for a while. Hans did everything he could not to gag. But instead he gave a fake, shaky smile and nodded.
"Yes, good morning." The man scowled and let go of his head, almost flicked it out of his hands. Hans looked around at his surroundings. Just a dark room, with a wooden floor and ceiling and walls. Completely lacking of furniture or purpose even. There were only windows in the walls that led to outdoors and let the sun shine in through them. Hans knew he wasn't in his castle, safe within the arms of his family. He was somewhere unfamiliar, and dangerous. The panic started to rise in him, but he suppressed it. He wasn't going to let these men kill him. There was more than one. Two. Another one sitting in the corner, his back to Hans, it seemed as if he were handling something. His arms seemed strained through his dark sleeves, and occasionally he would jerk. He seemed frustrated too. He could hear scoffs, or noises of annoyance at some points. What was the man doing?
"I see you noticed my friend over there." The man in front of him was talking now, Hans moved his dark eyes slowly towards him. He was standing in front of him, his eyes also on his friend. He smiled and looked at Hans.
"Bet you wanna know what he's doing, right?" He asked him this, almost in a taunting manner. Hans cleared his scratchy throat and spoke through the tightness that was welling up.
"Yes." Was all he could manage. His kidnapper laughed. "Arwin, show him." The mysterious figure in the corner turned around roughly holding something large in his hands. Adele. Her hands were held behind her back, and she was squirming with all her might. A gag was in her mouth, and he could hear her make little tuft noises. She was sweating, and he could tell by the look in her eyes she had never been more scared in her entire life. Round, and large, full of fear and prediction. Hans caught a breath in his throat, and immediately he jerked himself forward in an effort to reach her. Big hands grabbed onto his tied arms and slowly dragged him back.
"Let her go! Let her go now! I order you!" Hans screamed as loudly as he could, unable to control his emotions. His voice pierced through his throat like a knife. He could feel heat rising everywhere inside him. Heat filled his insides like boiling water and it was almost painful for him. But he couldn't hold back. Not with everything he looked forward to in front of him, being taken away. These men who think they have power over them, they have no idea what power is. Not until they see what he's capable of. He was going to do it. Use his fire to set her free, and himself. He could feel the gloves slowly fall off, his freedom was unfurling. He was going to save Adele, himself, and hurt these two men for putting her in danger. There was nothing stopping him. But the man holding Adele pulled out a knife. And everything stopped. She let out a muffled squeal that slowly turned into a sob. Hans held still, suddenly afraid to breath, or blink even. His mouth was open, and his eyes had widened with surprise. They knew. They knew everything about him. But how?
"You take off those gloves and I take off her head, you got me? We know about you, we know what you can do. This little one told us." He shook Adele as he said this, emphasizing her betrayal. Hans' expression went from instinct anger to devastation. His lips were uncurling and his furrowed eyebrows rested. It was all over. They knew about him, there was nothing he could do. In his mind he tried to think of ways out of this. Dumb. He could play dumb, act as if he doesn't know what they're talking about. Their not believing was more likely than not but it was worth a shot. It could save them maybe.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He said, letting his eyes scatter everywhere, keeping trace of Adele, the kidnapper in front of him, or anymore that might show up. Arwin laughed. "Trust me kid we're not stupid. We've been watching you, keeping our eyes open. We see what you do. Your fire tricks? Making it appear out of your hands? We know. And we want it. We want you." Arwin kept his eyes trained on him the entire time, focusing, cutting into him.
"Is this why I'm here? You want me for my fire?" Hans said this as if it were a terrible realization. In this moment he realized why his mother had been so afraid. His power was a curse. It was something that would doom them all. He just wished it had only affected him, and not his sister. His sister. Why was she there? What did she have to do with this?
"Why do you have Adele?" He didn't even know what he was asking, he didn't know what was coming out of his mouth. Just noises to keep him from lashing out at them. But he had to keep his temper down. He had to resist using his fire; it could quite possibly end Adele.
"I have a deal for you, princey. This here little girl let it slip out about your sorcery when she was meeting her husband to be."
It took a moment for Hans to process this, his mind was racing. "Adele." She didn't respond, only muffled words that couldn't be understood.
"We'll let her free of course, on one condition, you let us use your talents for our own needs." Arwin said this with a grin, but Hans didn't find it funny. He took a deep breath. In a swift motion Adele jumped and slammed her head on Arwin's, making him yelp and bring his hands to face and letting go of her. She tore out the gag and started towards Hans, but the other one grabbed her and kicked her in the small of her back.
"Hans, Hans don't do it. Don't do it please. They'll ruin you. They just want the kingdom to themselves Ha-" He kicked her back again and her head shot down in pain with her hand moving to her stomach. Hans didn't move or even respond. He just watched her sit in pain.
"Please Hans, don't do this." She was crying now, sobbing and shaking uncontrollably, like when she first opened the door to his room, begging for his forgiveness. She had the same look in her eyes. Fear. And it was the same fear as before. The fear of losing him from her life. She'd rather not live at all than live in a life without him. But it was the same for him. Adele had her brothers. Her brothers actually loved her. She doesn't have to hide who she is, conceal what she can do and lock herself up. She has much more potential to change the world than he does. It would be a shame to have him survive over her.
"Adele. . . I. . ."
"Hans! Think of all those years you spent locked up! Locked away from us because of your powers! Didn't you hate that? Wasn't it the saddest part of your life? That will happen again Hans! Don't let it happen!" She was struggling in the man's arms; he could hear the sadness in her voice. He never wants to hear that. He was trapped between a rock and a hard place.
"Hans. . . . If you won't listen to me. . ." She said this almost as a whisper. "Adele. Adele!" Quickly Adele flipped on her side, and shoved her legs into the man. Arwin came racing toward her, but she was standing by the time he came. She jumped out his grasp, which sent forward, and as he fell she grabbed his pocket. Standing in front of Hans, holding a knife a forward, and shaking. "Hans. . ."
His words had escaped him. There was nothing for him to say. He just shook his head, tears starting to form in his brown eyes. "Don't do it. . . You have so much more to live for. Adele."
Hans was looking down at the wood, on his knees. At once the two men stood, clicking their gaze toward the girl. She didn't let them near her, her eyes looked at them for only a moment, and she moved her gaze back to Hans. "Good bye Hans." The metal was driven into her stomach, she let out a sad moan and the crimson began filling in her dress. She stood swaying in pain, but in happiness of the mind, and her body collapsed. Her smiling eyes met with Hans'. She was still smiling, she was in so much happiness as she said her last word. "Change the world, help a kingdom, be their ruler and do what I never cou-" Gone.
"Adele. Adele, no, no." He squirmed toward her, crying now, looking at his light disappear. His heart felt cold, but inside he could feel the heat coming up. His pulse racing, body pulsing with anger.
"Adele!" It was a piercing scream that set the walls to become ablaze with scorching flames and heat. The two men stood in a frantic hurry, panicking. "Adele!" The ceiling was caving in from the fire, it spread onto Adele's foot, covered her body. The men escaped through the door, calling for help. Hans stayed laying in the heat, crying. Crying for the future he's lost, for the light he's lost. He stayed crunched up in a ball, unable to fathom what had just happened. He couldn't tell the difference between the sweat and tears on his face. He was just concentrated on the beating of his heart, smelling the fire and smoke fill his lungs. It spiked inside of him, like pinpricks all throughout his throat and lungs. He coughed loudly, and held onto himself. This was it. He was ending here. He had nothing else to live for. He wanted to let the thing that ended everything to end him too.
His eyes slowly shut, and he breathed slowly, yet raggedly from the fire. The flames were ready to consume him, and let him be happy. The cracking and popping created a song to go with his mind and his heart beat. Be serene. Be calm. Be happy.
As his mood calmed, he could feel the heat leaving him. Inside and out. The smoke drifted away, the cracking and popping subsided, disappeared. The raging heat became cool, and when he opened his eyes, the bright orange and blue was gone. His body was shaking, but he sat up slowly and looked around him, avoiding contact with the burned carcass. The fire was completely gone. Though everything was black and seemed scorched, the place was cool, and without danger. The fire had gone without a trace, and he didn't know if he were sad or happy.
Hans stood up. His eyes stared down at the black crisp ashes. The place smelled like a campfire. So cheerful and wonderful. A smell that reminded him of his childhood, and happiness. Yet now it was just a substance that was symbolic of his destruction, and life ruins.
The man were gone, as with Adele. The fire had coincidently burned the ropes on him away. For now, he was safe. So he opened the door of the shack and let the cool air slam onto his face. So fresh, and clean. He stepped away from the shed, leaving everything behind. Keeping the events away from him. If only he could really do that.
. . .
She looked into Hans with pleading eyes, begging him to save her. She held onto him with all her might, with her trembling hands, her trembling heart. The look in her eyes were painful, and sad, like Adele's. Hoping Hans would save her and keep her life going.
Anna. Anna. Anna.
"Oh, Anna, if only there was someone out there who loved you." Hans didn't know if he was talking about Anna, or himself. Both were accurate. Hans knew what he was doing was immoral, and wrong. But he wanted to make Adele happy, and do for her what she was never able to do.
All the words being spoken in between were only murmurs to him, even the ones he said. All he could think about was the fire, her pleading eyes and trembling hands. So much like Adele. So much like that day. As he told her his dumb made up story on the spot, he took off his glove, pinched the fire away. Brought the cold pitcher of water onto the scorching fire place.
"You are no match for Elsa!" He was standing over her, looking down at the ice. He bent down, looked into her eyes one more time as he grabbed her delicate chin. So fragile, and cold. "No, you are no match for Elsa. I on the other hand, am the hero who is going to save Arendelle from destruction."
He stood up, keeping his act going, he kept the same sly, smooth emotion as he moved. Anna was ended by the ice of her sister, just as Adele was ended by the fire of Hans. Now Elsa can know his pain, now they were equals.
Hans did love Anna. Very much. And it hurt him to leave her in the cold room, to shake and quiver until her heart stopped. But he had to. He had to do it for Adele, and everything she's dreamed of. He was walking steadily towards the door, when her voice came one last time.
"You won't get away with this." Hans stopped for a moment as he opened the door, and did everything he could to keep his act up. He turned around with a fake smile. "Oh, I already have." He shut the door swiftly behind him, and locked it immediately. Away from the cold, away from the death. Although heat was always inside of him, he started shuddering with cold. He sat with his back pressed against the door, his head in his hands, and tears soaking his gloves.
"Anna. . ." He whispered to himself sullenly. He could feel her twist the knob, call for help, even quake against the wood. His last contact with her until she was gone forever. For the first time, he wasn't the one locked away. Was it worth it? Destroying yet another thing he loves for power? Maybe it wasn't. Right this second, as he cried against the wood, and she laid against the door, he felt nothing in the world was worth anything.