Author's Note: I believe this sort of ridiculous randomness is better known as a crack!fic… But I just couldn't resist.
Sort of McDanno slash… pre-slash… implied slash?
This was just too perfect. He knew it was horrible of him, but he enjoyed it no less. The movement slowed, halted. Steve hastily schooled the broad smile that was undeniably plastered across his face.
"McGarrett?!" The small blonde detective's voice emerged from the shrubbery just beyond the police tape. He sounded at about a level 3 in Irateness, which was relatively low on the Angry Danno scale. So Steve figured he'd push it a little further, until he'd achieved his goal, at least.
"What...?" Steve feigned deafness, stalling for time.
Danny Williams' face appeared as he called over his shoulder. "I'm not findin' anything. Are you sure you don't need your eyes checked?"
"My eyes are fine, Danno. It was just off to your left a little more. Something metallic. Maybe a knife..."
"Our victim was shot, Stephen!"
Okay, an unanticipated spike in Irateness Levels.
"It might have been a bullet casing. But it was definitely there. Ya got this, buddy."
He could hear Danny's sigh even twenty feet away, as the man turned back to his scouring of the ground beneath the hedgerow, crawling on his hands and knees.
"Further in. You're just hitting the perimeter. You've got to go deeper."
Now Danny was muttering, as he leaned forward, his left hand disappearing beneath the greenery. Steve was pretty sure the nature of the grumbling was about critters, getting his hand bit off, and possibly a commentary about Steve's lewd double entendre word choice.
'Go deeper... That's what he said...'
Steve turned to the pair that comprised the audience for this staged (not to Danny's knowledge, of course) show.
Kono had a little bit of a blush coloring her cheeks and Chin was sporting his 'isn't life strange, but also amusing' expression.
"Well...?" Steve prompted his friends.
Kono sighed, but she was smirking when she spoke.
"Okay, fine. You're right," she said. "Just don't tell Adam I ever agreed with you on the subject."
Yes. One down. Steve grinned at Lieutenant Kelly.
"Chin?"
"I concede," the Hawaiian detective said, earning a skeptical and slightly shocked look from his cousin. "I'm secure enough to acknowledge a truth when it's... uh... yeah..." He gestured with one hand towards the grumbling detective across the lawn.
Steve laughed, and while their conversation had been quiet enough amid the rest of the noise of an actively-being-processed crime scene not to have been noticed by the foraging detective, the SEAL's laughter was not. He could only watch as a disgruntled Danny Williams backed out from being buried shoulder-deep in the hedge to push himself to his feet and come marching over to his team mates, who for all intents and purposes appeared to be standing around watching the ex-Jersey detective do all of the work.
"Okay, I know you guys are firm believers in the Island pace of living, but maybe you all could actually do some... I dunno, police work, instead of just watching the 'haole' cop bust his butt."
Kono sniggered, and had to turn her head away in a vain attempt to cover her laughter.
"What?" Danny said, his hands that had been cutting sharply through the air settling firmly on his hips as he stared his team mates down (something you'd think a man significantly shorter than his friends would be incapable of, but Danny Williams had mastered.) "What's so fricken funny?"
His steel-blue gaze was flashing menacingly as it played over his suspects, settling on Steve. Normally, the ex-SEAL would feel a little guilty, for having pushed his friend so very far, to the point where the mercurial detective might actually have had his feelings hurt. But it was just too damned good. Steve was far too pleased with himself, which he knew probably indicated something bad about his personality, but he savored the victorious feeling anyway.
"I made a bet with Chin and Kono," Steve said, deciding he might as well fess up now. Because Danny would find out, and if it wasn't from Steve himself, the SEAL would be in all kinds of trouble. "Won forty dollars off of them."
"Bet?" Danny looked skeptical. "Really? You bet them that you could get me to waste twenty minutes crawling around looking for an imaginary clue? Just when I think you can't get any more juvenile, Steven-"
"Um... actually, that wasn't the bet," Kono interrupted the detective's tirade.
Danny faltered, stalling out for a moment, his brow furrowing in confusion.
"You're gonna cover for him?"
A hand flew out, absently stabbing a finger in Steve's direction as he spoke to the taller young woman. And god help him, Steve was still finding this whole thing beyond amusing. He loved watching Danny all worked up, the energy that lay perpetually coiled tightly in his small, muscular body releasing in a dizzying storm that overwhelmed anything in its path, including the two badass cops presently incurring its wrath. Not that Steve didn't know the real direction Hurricane Danno was ultimately headed.
"No, brah." Chin was even to the point of putting his hands up in a passive gesture he used on suspects he was trying to talk into surrendering their weapon. "Steve bet he could get us to agree with him that... uh... Kono?"
"I thought you were secure enough to acknowledge the truth," she mocked her cousin with a smile.
"Does anyone here speak English?" Danny said, throwing his hands up in supplication to the heavens. Okay. Angry Danno Level 7. Not good. "And can they just tell me what the hell is going on so we can get back to doing our jobs?"
Steve rubbed the back of his neck nervously, the majority of his amusement evaporating as the realization of how very pissed his partner was going to be finally settled in. He tried employing his most charming of smiles, and was relieved when he saw the hard line of Danny's mouth soften, the steel in his eyes melt a little.
The commander shrugged innocently.
"They didn't believe me when I said you've got the finest ass on the Island, Danno. What was I supposed to do?"
Danny stood with his mouth agape for a solid half-a-second, a record, if Steve was correct. And then he was into full-blown Danno Smash mode, which for the detective contained much more yelling and wild gesticulating than actual smashing of objects.
"What were you supposed to do?! Uh, how about maybe keeping your mouth shut and not making wagers about my personal, private body parts?!"
"Hate to be the one to inform you of this, but with those pants you wear, it's not all that private, buddy." Steve was well on his way back to amused, and even Danny seemed to have relaxed as they fell into a familiar rhythm of arguing banter.
"Besides..." Steve winked at the short blonde with the finest ass he'd ever laid eyes upon. "You're the one who told me I should only ever bet on a sure thing."
END.
A/N: I'd apologize for this fic… but that's a bad precedent to set…