Hello and welcome to my very first fan fiction piece of writing. My name is Cornish Dean and I'm an aspiring author. If you like my work please give me a follow and head over to Facebook and like my page Cornish-Dean-565914270273204/

This little bit of writing is all aboutHarry Potter and other characters having themselves a real fight with no magic in sight. Obviously fictional and a bit of fun so hope you enjoy ?

Lord Voldemort, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Professor Snape, Hagrid, Neville Longbottom and Dumbledore all feature.

"Potter! Shouted snape, "I have been waiting for a long time to smash in your four eyed face you little know it all fucker!"

Snape was angry and ready to brawl.

In a dark pub car park the crowd started to gather as Harry got ready for a fight to the death with professor snape! But this time, there was only one rule. No magic!

"I'm going to rip that girly hair from out off your skull snape, this ass kicking has been coming for a long time!" Said Harry

Snape smirked and whispered "lets do it".

"Not so fast Snape, he is all mine" said a voice in the shadows.

"Who is that?" Harry shouted.

"I am sir Voldemort"

"Sir? " said Snape " don't you mean Lord?"

" nope. It's just sir, I got a fucking demotion at Dixons, I was late a couple times, didn't have much strength ya know?"

"Now wait just a minute" a voice bellowed.

It was Hagrid. Ready to save the day. Or rather save MrPotter.

"Fuck off dopey or I'll eat your dog" shoutedSir Voldemort.

The gathering crowd roared with laughter. Hagrid got angry.

SSSSMMMMAAAAASSSSSSHHHHH!

Hagrid bottled Snape right in the face. Snape went down like a sack of potatoesclutching his bloody face. Shards off glass protruding from his eyes. He was out of the fight. Bleeding to death professor Snape slowly and painful enter the realms

of hell never to return.

It was two against one now. Hagrid and Harry approached Voldemort. Hagrid carrying a broken bottle and Harry clenching his fists. This was it.

"Go on Harry, do the bold bastard!" Shouted someone from the crowd.

It was Ron Weasley, who looked a little worse for wear after years of drug abuse following hermione's death.

"Oi ginger pubes eat this" shouted Voldermort sending a lighting bolt at Ron killing him instantly.

"No Magic' Said Hagrid.

Suddenly it all kicked off. Voldemort was hitting everyone with magic, Harry was trying to defend himself but it was getting to hard.

"You shall not pass! " shouted the incoming dumbledore.

"Wrong story dickweed" said Harry

"Dickweed? You and I know all about that" giggled dumbledore.

Dumbledore walked over to Voldemort and stuck his fingers up his nose.

"Say sorry Voldemort to my boyfri... I mean to my friend Harry" he said

"Never!" Said Voldemort

He spun in a circle creating a huge vortex of energy engulfing everyone.

KAAAABBBBOOOOMM!

And with a massive explosion, everyone was dead. Except for one...Neville Longbottom.

Neville looked up to the sky and all around but there was nobody left.

With nobody about, he pulled out the magazine he had in his coat pocket, turned to page 34 which was a picture off Hermione before she died, he sat on the edge off the pavement and cracked one out.

Unfortunately he was not alone. In the shadows stood the real slim shady, Mr Draco Malfoy.

THE END