Dis was ridden with worry, and had been for the entire day. A new war had been brought upon their people. A pack of orcs had threatened to attack The Blue Mountains. The king and the strongest dwarves he could find traveled up the mountain and across the land in hopes to reach the army and attack before they could reach the newest home of the dwarves. Among the army of strongest dwarves was her husband, lead by her brother, Thorin, the king. She had prepared for the worst, packing a single pack with all necessities for her and her two boys for two weeks, in case the army of violence-loving orcs escaped the attack of the dwarf army.
Dis felt rage along with her worry and her eyes squinted as she stared out the window. Her people were already driven out of their home once by a dragon and then once the people found safe living, an army of orcs attacked, the battle much larger than the one happening now, and the pale orc, Azog, killed her grandfather. No more creatures of violence and of the darkness would move-in and force the people, her people, her kin, away from their home once more.
She spotted the first of the warriors to return. They were limping, other's carrying in the dead and wounded, and some looked unharmed and only splattered with the blood of their enemy. Every dwarf she had seen come by her window so far was not her husband, nor her brother.
Her two sons sat on the furniture in the living room chatting with each other, completely oblivious to her worrying.
Fili, the eldest, only nine years old, was trying to explain to his younger brother, Kili, who was only four, where their father had gone; but it bored Kili because he had been taught of wars before and how they worked, and he kept asking questions such as, 'why does war happen?' and 'who actually hates dwarves!?'. Fili soon gave up on his brother and told him to be calm and stop asking such questions - wars happen because they happen.
Soon, the rest of the army was returning, not much smaller in size as when they left, which gave Dis great relief. She opened the door and stood outside in the coldness of the night and goosebumbs appeared on her arms. Kili and Fili ran to either of her sides and held on to her arms.
"Is papa back?" Kili asked her.
Dis did not answer the youngling, for she wasn't exactly sure if their father would be returning.
Fili glanced over at his younger brother and shook his head, mouthing no more questions. Kili nodded and obeyed his older brother. They clung closer to their mother as the wind began to pick up and the moon grew brighter. They all watched the men march past them and walk to their homes where their wives and children would tend to their wounds and every need. Many of the men were so covered in the blood of orcs that you could not make out where their skin was; they were covered in murky red and brown thick blood. Most of the armor would have to be repaired - some armor was beyond repair. One man, Dis' neighbor, had a long slash down his forearm that started at the top of his elbow and ended at the tip of his middle finger; the dwarf gave Dis and the children a look of pain and sorrow, but also relief. Kili was waving at the man with a giant smile on his face. Sweet Kili, always so alive, energetic, and glee-ful, Dis thought to herself. Fili stayed silent and content on the army of bloodied faces, hoping to see his father's face through one of the masks of red.
Dis knew Thorin would be bringing up the rear of the army as their leader and her husband would not be far ahead of him if not right beside him.
Ten minutes passed and the army of dwarves had begun to reach an end - Dis could see the last of the dwarves marching down the mountain now. She wanted badly to run into the crowd of warriors and scream for her husband; but she waited. And he hadn't showed up. No dwarf ever turned towards her home to greet her with kisses and embrace her and scoop the kids up in his strong arms and tickle their bellies. Not until the end of the company.
It was then when Thorin approached her that she knew her husband would not be returning this night or any night to come. Dis could no longer support herself and her knees gave out, making her land hard on the ground, her face buried in her hands, and her face leaning into the dirt – and she cried and she screamed and she sobbed.
Fili and Kili were very confused as their mother fell from their grips around her arms. Kili ran to his brother and hugged him around the waist and whimpered silently.
"Mumma. Mumma, what's wrong with you?" Kili whined, not daring to touch her. He hadn't a clue as to what she was doing and it frightened him. Tears welled up in his dark brown eyes. "Mumma?"
Fili, on the other hand, had caught what was happening after a few moments of watching his mother. He was staring at his uncle, not daring to cry in front of the man he so looked up to. He noticed Thorin nodding towards Kili, a sign for Fili to lead him inside and wait for them. So he did. Fili grabbed his younger brother by the hand, shushing him, and told him that they were to go inside and wait for Mumma and Uncle Thorin.
Thorin leaned down in the dirt and rested his hand on his sister's shoulder. He was trying his best to not embrace her since he was covered in the filth of the enemy and of his kin. He spoke to her in a whisper, "He fought until he could no longer hold up his sword. You would have been so proud, your boys would be so proud, and I am so proud. He went into that battle knowing very well that he may never return to you and his boys, but he went to keep you three, his family, safe; and he has succeeded. The war was won and it may not have been our victory if it were not for your husband. He did not die in vain."
And Dis knew this. She knew the bravery that her husband held. She knew him, and she knew he had done his best to win that war. She only wished he had done better so he could bring himself home as well as the rest of the company. But she still laid in the dirt because she didn't have that strength that her husband did, and she could not find the strength to pull herself up, because even though she knew he died so that their kingdom may not fall, she had fallen and couldn't find a way up.
Thorin tended to his sister, helped her up the best he could, and walked her back into her home. Fili and Kili were seated on the floor of their living room; both of them had stayed silent and not said a word to one another since they went back into the house. Fili jumped up and helped his uncle seat his mother onto the furniture.
"Mother, are you alright now?" Kili asked with his bum still planted to the ground staying away from her, afraid his mother would react in such an odd way again.
Dis nodded and ran her hand down her face and exhaled quite loudly. "Yes, m'boy. Mumma is fine." She turned her head to Thorin and nodded softly.
Thorin then took the two boys, each by one shoulder, and placed them in front of him. Fili knew exactly what his uncle was going to inform them of; but Kili did not. Kili knew what death was, of course. He was a dwarf and dwarves were told stories of the history of battles of and for their kind and knew all the names of the great kings who have died – one of which was Fili and Kili's own great-grandfather. Though, neither of the young dwarves had ever been in a situation where they personally were affected by death. Fili choked back tears and stayed standing tall, straight, and shoulder's broad to show his toughness in the face of his uncle, the king. But Kili cried and acted as his mother did outside. His bum hit the floor and he buried his face into his hands and he cried. Fili ran off to his room before another word was said to either of them by Thorin or his mother; there in his room he could cry alone. He stood on his bed so he could reach the windowsill and grab the steel eagle figurine his father had crafted for him years ago. He held the eagle to his chest and cried for several more minutes on his own. Finally, he heard Uncle Thorin say his goodbyes to the two in the living room and leave, shutting their front door softly. He heard his mother hushing Kili as he continued to cry into her chest. Fili thought it safe to come back out and sit with his family.
"Here Kili, hold onto this." Fili said as he approached them; he held out his hand and offered Kili the eagle statue.
Kili grabbed the steel statue and frowned in confusion, "What is it, Fi?" His eyes were bloodshot and puffed up with tears and his face glistened with the salty water.
"It's an eagle." Fili told him. He climbed up on all fours onto the couch (it was just a bit out of his height range) and sat himself next to his mother who was balancing Kili on her knee. "Papa made it for me when I was five. I went into my room and held it for just a moment and it felt like papa was there with me. Know why?" Kili shook his head. "Because papa made that all by himself with his own two hands; he told me that the eagles are the greatest protectors of all of middle earth."
Kili's face lit up and he felt the figurine in his hands and went over every detail with his little fingers. "Fi, d-do you think papa will become an eagle now that he's d-dead? He was a great pro-pro-protector." Kili's voice was stuttering from all the crying he had done. "I think that's possible, r-right mumma?" He looked up at their mother with his big puffy eyes.
"Of course it is, darling." Dis told him. "Your father is probably soaring in the sky now, looking down on you both, forever devoted to being your protector." She was stroking Kili's four inch long, dark hair and gazing down at her eldest with a small, sweet, smile.
Fili and Kili smiled at one another. They began speaking of him, their father, and they would refer to him as their angel now and every day forward. They both giggled when Fili pointed how much their father loved fish and how being an eagle probably suited that well for him. Dis, though, was still silently crying as she listened to her boy's talk of their father. She wasn't sure if she was crying from sadness, from relief that her boys found the good side from all of this, or from a bit of both. But, she let them talk the night away until they talked themselves into a deep sleep full of dreams of their father and eagles and food and war; their heads laid on her legs, each of them snoring (that quality they inherited from their father); but Dis stayed wide awake for the rest of the night.