Disclaimer: Janet Evanovich gets paid to write these characters, I do not. This is just for fun. If I had control… hhhmmmm. Stephanie would be with Ranger, but then again maybe I would just keep him all to myself!
Author's Note: Slight spoilers through LMT. This is my first Plum FanFiction and as I post this I'm feeling a little queasy. I've written for other genres though. No flames please, but suggestion would be appreciated. Enjoy! (I hope you do anyway)
Facing Someday
Stephanie Plum woke up disoriented. She hadn't been sleeping well and the last thing she remembered was falling asleep in her own apartment and in her own bed. She knew that wasn't where she'd woken up.
Great! She thought. Kidnapped again! She snorted in disgust, but then some of her senses started to kick in. She wiggled in the bed and realized that she wasn't tied down, she had on clothes and the sheets were very, very soft. Hint number one. She only knew of one person who had sheets like that.
She sniffed the air and caught a whiff of Bulgari. Hint number two. She only knew one person who smelled like that. Then she also caught a scent of… sea?
The sound of waves crashing sounded reached her ears. Hint number three. She was near the beach, but what beach?
Okay, so she was probably safe. He was somewhere nearby, but where were they and why were they there? She hadn't seen him for a few months, hadn't had any contact with him, so why had he brought her here?
"You can open your eyes Steph. I know you're awake." She heard a low voice with a Cuban accent, opened her eyes and saw HIM. He was sitting in a chair in the corner of the bedroom watching her sleep.
His hair was loose around his shoulders and he had on khaki cargo shorts and a white tee shirt that set off his mocha latte skin to perfection. He was settled back in the chair and watching her with an intensity that made her nervous.
"Good morning Ranger." She said politely and surreptitiously looked down to see what she was wearing… one of his tee shirts. She slipped from the bed and looked around.
"There." Ranger pointed her in the direction of a slightly ajar door.
"Thanks." She mumbled as she scurried towards the bathroom. Steph hurriedly took care of business and washed her hands.
Sure going to the bathroom had been necessary, but even more than that was the need to collect herself and figure out what was happening. She looked around and instantly loved the bathroom. It had a glass wall shower, a large sunken tub and double vanity.
What the?! Sitting on the counter was her cosmetic bag. Turned out that was a good thing once she took the time to look at herself in the mirror. She took a quick turn through the shower, quick by her standards anyway, and realized that she didn't think to take clothes into the bathroom with her.
With a quick look, she discovered a robe on the back of the door and slipped it on.
Ranger was still sitting where she had left him thirty minutes before.
"Did you bring clothes for me?" She asked quietly. He pointed again, this time to another door. She followed his directions and found a walk-in closet. One side of the closet held what were obviously his clothes. The other had women's clothes. There were a lot of clothes and they were all in her size. She poked her head out of the closet. "Whose clothes are these?"
"Yours."
"Huh?" Why did he have clothes for her here? They weren't any that she owned.
"I keep some things here for you." He informed her.
"Why?"
"Get dressed and we'll talk." She didn't ask again, but went back into the closet and looked through some of the drawers. There were several sets of bras and panties from Victoria's Secret. After she picked a pale blue lacy set and put them on she looked back at the clothes that were hanging up and folded neatly on shelves. It was like her very own department store of clothes to choose from.
She settled on a pair of white shorts and a blue v-neck tee shirt. At the end of the closet was a shoe rack, she saw it and sighed happily. There was a variety of shoes for her to choose from. She settled on a pair of blue flip flops, took a deep breath and exited the closet.
"Now what?" She asked quietly.
Steph hadn't seen or talked to him in months and was confused as to what was going on. Normally, she would have insisted on answers. Circumstances were different however, she was tired of fighting. It seemed that was all she did lately. She fought with her mother about settling down, getting married and having children. She fought with Joe about the same things along with quitting her job and staying away from Ranger and his men. She'd had enough and just about decided to give in just to make everyone else happy; maybe then people would just leave her the hell alone.
"Now we go downstairs and have breakfast." He held out his hand to her. She watched him closely for a moment and then gingerly put her hand in his. Ranger led her down the stairs. "Then we talk."
The house was beautiful. It was large and airy, yet cozy and comfortable. It looked just how a beach house should, only on a larger scale.
"Where are we?"
"Between Elberon and Monmouth, not too far from Takanasee Lake." He led her onto a patio on the back of the house.
"Its summer why aren't there people on the beach?" She looked out at the ocean and beach. There wasn't a single person in sight.
"Private beach." She turned to look at him.
"Your private beach." He just gave her a short nod and gestured to a table that was set up with breakfast.
She sat down and looked at the feast in front of her. There were all kinds of fruits and pastries, including a few boston cream donuts. There was coffee and juice.
"Help yourself Stephanie."
"Thank you." She muttered, hurt that he had called her by her name. He only did that when he was upset with her. She didn't know what she had done to upset him. Obediently, she filled her plate and tried to eat. She tried to eat, but didn't really succeed. The anxiety was too much.
"Why?" She asked timidly.
"Why what?" He asked. "Why did I bring you here?" She shook her head.
"Why are you using my name?" She ducked her head to avoid his probing gaze. "Are you upset with me? You only call me Stephanie when you're upset."
"I am upset." He told her frankly and her head shot up so she could look in his eyes. Hers burned with the need to cry. "I'm calling you Stephanie, because that's who you are to me. You're not my 'Babe' anymore."
She stood up so quickly that her chair tipped over. She didn't even notice.
"Then why bring me here? I haven't seen or heard from you in months." She cried and then fled the patio.
Ranger caught up with her on the beach and grabbed her from behind. She struggled and struck out which caused them both to fall. He twisted his body so that he broke her fall and then rolled them so he had her body pinned with his and she couldn't escape him.
"I brought you here to find out if my Babe is still in there somewhere." He tapped her forehead with a finger.
"What are you talking about?" She wriggled to try to escape him. He pushed his hips into hers and she felt the hard ridge of his arousal press against her.
"If you don't hold still we're not going to get any real talking done." He growled. She stilled instantly and he dropped his forehead to hers for a second. After a moment, he lifted his head to look into her eyes. "You may not have seen me, but I've seen you."
"What are you saying? Have you been watching me?"
"Yes."
"Why? Why stay away?"
"I thought that's what you wanted." He said wearily and rolled off of her to sit up and stare out at the ocean.
"I didn't ask you to stay away. I've missed you." She admitted softly. He turned to glance at her as she sat up.
"I've missed you too."
"Then why?" She whined.
"I had a visit from Joe a few months ago. It was after you two had broken up. He told me that the two of you were getting back together and that you had asked him to speak to me. He told me that you felt too guilty to talk to me in person. He said that you and he were going to really try to make things work and that you didn't want me to cause problems."
"Ranger, I never asked him to do that. I would never just cut you out of my life." Not like you did to me. She added to herself.
"I'm sorry." He told her gently and took his hand in hers. "I didn't do it lightly and it was certainly not what I wanted, but I thought it was what you wanted."
"You should have come to me."
"I know that now, but at the time…" He trailed off.
"So you said 'I know that now'. What happened?" She asked.
"I've been back in town for a couple of weeks. I stopped by the police station right after I got back. I had decided to talk to Joe. I wasn't going to try to interfere; I just wanted to ask how you were. I overheard a conversation and left before I ever talked to him."
"What happened Ranger?" She repeated more forcefully. She had a bad feeling but needed to know.
"Morelli was talking with someone, I don't know who. The man had heard you turned your notice in to Vinnie and he wanted to know how Morelli had talked you into it." Ranger paused, he didn't want to tell her but he knew that he had to. "Morelli said that it had taken some doing, but that since he had taken me out of the picture it was a lot easier. The man asked how he had done that and Morelli told him."
"What did Joe tell him?" There was anger in her voice.
"That he had come to me and told me that you wanted me to stay away from you. Of course, he lied, but it was all for a good cause. Now, you were quitting your job and going to marry him, stay home and have his babies just like you were supposed to." Ranger ended on an almost whisper. They were both silent for some time before Ranger spoke again. "So for the last couple of weeks, I've been doing surveillance on you."
"You've been doing what?" She asked indignantly and stood to look down at him.
"I wanted to know if you were happy. I needed to know if that was what you really wanted." He stood up to face her.
"You could have asked me." She poked him in the chest. "You could have come right to me and asked me. You could have told me what he had done."
"And if you were happy? What then? Should I have just busted up your happy little life?" He shot back.
"I had a right to know."
"Would it have made a difference?" He asked condescendingly. "How many times have you gone back to him? Dozens? How was I to know this time would be any different?"
Steph sucked in her breath and the pain his words caused. "Listen up you jackass, you send me back to him." Her words were shouted at him.
"And you ran right back to him over and over again." He shouted right back. "Even after he let you believe that you were a murder suspect and the whole time the 'victim', the Dick, was living in his house."
"You pushed me away." She countered. "You told me that you didn't want a relationship, you didn't do anything stupid like marriage or kids."
"I NEVER said I didn't want a relationship, I said my life didn't lend itself to relationships, and there is a difference. I told you someday Stephanie." His eyes blazed at hers and it didn't faze her. Distractedly she thought that he could be quite scary when he was angry and that this was the first time he had ever been angry with her. "And do you want to get married and have kids?"
"Married? Not anytime soon. Kids? They scare the hell out of me?" She retorted without thinking, she just let the truth flow out.
"Then what does it matter to you what I think about marriage and kids. Besides, when did I say that? That was years ago Stephanie, people change."
"The morning after we had sex…"
"The morning after we made love." He corrected her.
"Whatever." She waved her hand. "You sent me back to him. You told me to repair my relationship with Morelli."
Ranger sighed and ran his hands through his hair before speaking quietly. "You're not the only one that can do denial too Stephanie."
"What are you talking about?"
"That night… it was more than I expected and it bothered me." He said.
"Bothered you? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It scared me alright." He shouted and she looked up at him startled. "I felt more than I thought I would. It made me want things I didn't think I deserved. It made me want to offer you things I wasn't in a position to offer."
She looked at him and did a good fish imitation. "But…"
"So I fucked up and sent you back to Morelli to give myself time. I figured that you would do the on-again off-again thing again and when I was ready, I would…"
"You would what?" She pressed.
"Fuck! I don't know." He turned and stalked off for a few steps before he turned and walked back. "Then there just never seemed to be a right time. Then Scrog."
"What about him?" She shivered at the memory despite the warm day.
"It made me realize some things." She just looked at him and waited for him to continue. "I love you Steph. I knew that we already had a relationship and that it wasn't enough of one for me any more."
"So why didn't you come to me then?" Steph's heart ached at all the lost time.
"Because you told the cop that you loved him!" He hollered.
"You could have come to me." She whispered.
"And done what? Tell you I loved you? I already did that. I told and I tried to show you and you still went back to the cop. You told him that you loved him and I just want you to be happy."
"Yeah!" She snorted. "You love me. In your own way. What the hell does that mean anyway?"
"Dios!" He roared. "I'm tired of being punished for things that I said or did years ago. In my own way is the only way I know to love you. I've been shot for you and I've killed for you. I give you money, a job, cars, a place to live or hide out and whatever else you need or ask for. You want help, I come running. What else do I have to do? I have never and will never regret anything that I've done for you."
"You could have tried telling me… explaining?"
"When? When you were with the cop?" He asked resentfully. "What encouragement did you give me?"
"What are you talking about?" She stepped back from his anger.
"You let me touch you and kiss you. So I know you want me physically. You call me for help and come to me when you have a problem. So I know that I can make you feel safe. We're friends… best friends. Right?"
She could only nod.
"But you never told me how you feel about me?" He said softly. "You want to get mad at me and say it's my fault we've never gotten together as a couple, but you are just as much to blame. You've never told me that you love me. Yes, I've pushed you away. I come in a steal a kiss here or there, but it's because I always thought that would be all I would ever get from you."
Stephanie just stared at him.
"Yes, I'm an opportunist, but I'm also into self-preservation. I didn't want to come to you and put my heart out there for you to stomp on when you ran back to him."
"I wouldn't have…" She said through the tears that clogged her throat and filled her eyes.
"Yeah, well I didn't know that." He shouted at her and then softened his tone. "I figured that I would take what I could get. I told myself that I didn't need you in my life permanently. So I stole kisses when I could, I snuck into your apartment to watch you sleep and when I could I held you in my arms. That one night I made love to you because I had to have you. I couldn't hold back any more. I needed you. I needed to taste you and know what it was like to be with you. After that I went back to stealing what little of you I could."
"I'm so sorry." She told him and turned to run into the house.
"Steph, please don't cry." He murmured as he scooped her off the couch where he'd found her and sat down to cradle her in his lap.
"I always thought that you would be better off with him, that he could make you happy and give you the things I knew that you would always end up wanting. Things that I used to think I couldn't give you." He whispered into her hair. "I watched you for these last two weeks and I knew I was wrong. You're not the same. It's like you're a faded version of yourself, of the woman I fell in love with. Like when you woke up, my Babe wouldn't just meekly let me kidnap her. She would have demanded answers before she'd even gotten out of bed. She'd have given me hell immediately. You let him beat you down and give up part of yourself."
"He never…" She sniffled.
"Yeah… he never. There is more than just the physical type of beating Steph." He stroked her back as he spoke. "He bullied you into giving up your job and your friends and he would bully you into marriage. You know that right?"
She nodded against his chest. "I've been thinking that it would just be easier to give in to what he and my mother want me to do. That way everyone would be happy and stop badgering me."
"Oh Steph, they won't stop. They would just find something else to harp about." She knew he was right. "What do you want to do? I've seen you these last two weeks and I knew I had to do… something. No matter what I've ever said or done, what I've not said or not done, the only thing that I want is for you to be happy."
"I could tell you weren't happy so I went to your apartment to talk to you and found you sleeping. Right or wrong, I packed up your cosmetics, arranged for Rex to be picked up and taken care of and then I loaded you into the Cayenne and brought you here." He continued to stroke her back and hold her close. "I have clothes here for you for a couple of different reasons. At first, I had this setup in case we ever needed a safe house for you and needed to whisk you off at a moments notice. They were actually in one of the guest rooms and I was going to pack them up but I ended up moving them in here. I liked having them in with my things. It helped while I was waiting for us both to be ready to face our someday."
His admission stunned her and it touched her heart. She sat up on his lap and wiped the tears from her eyes. Then she stood and paced the room. He let her go and just watched her as she paced, he knew that she needed to think things through. Mentally, he crossed his fingers and then laughed at himself. He imagined that was something his Babe would have done.
"May I make a phone call?" She came to stand in front of him.
"Of course, you're not a prisoner here. You are my guest and you are welcome here any time. Your purse is on the kitchen counter." She went and retrieved her phone then dialed.
"Hey, it's me." Pause. "I'm at the beach. I came out last night." Pause. "I had some thinking to do." Pause. "About us." Pause. "Did you go to Ranger and tell him that you were there on my behalf and that I wanted him to stay away from me? Tell me the truth." Pause. "Yes, I've talked with him and he told me and before you ask I believe him. Now, I'm asking you." Pause.
Stephanie looked at Ranger and rolled her eyes. "No, Joe I haven't been happier without him in my life. Haven't you even noticed how miserable I've been? All I ever hear is that I should give up my job, my friends, my apartment, yada yada yada. I was actually contemplating doing just that." Pause. "Oh don't excited Joe, I said I WAS contemplating. I'm done thinking about it and I can't do this with you anymore. If you loved me as much as you say then you would have listened to me when I told you I didn't want to get married. You would have listened when I told you that I don't know if I'll ever want kids. If you loved me for myself, for who I am, then you wouldn't want to change everything about me." Pause. "No you don't Joe, you love who you think you can turn me into. I tried Joe and I can't take it." Pause. "Time is not going to change my mind." Pause. "Oh yeah, that will make me change my mind. I'll stay with you just so my mom won't be pissed." She snorted. "Joe, if you truly loved me, you would want me to be myself and be happy, no matter what, even if that meant you had to let me go."
Ranger watched as she flopped down in an armchair and listened for several minutes as Morelli obviously ranted.
"Joe." She shouted to get his attention. "I'm not happy with the life you have planned for us. I don't want the same things as you do and I don't know if I ever will. You need to accept that. I'm done. I've tried and it didn't work. I care for you, but not enough to lose myself. If you will please box up anything of mine that might be at your house and drop it off at the bonds office I would appreciate it. I'll get it when I go back to work. I'm sorry Joe." She finished and hung up the phone.
"Proud of you, Babe." Ranger told her and was rewarded with a brilliant smile.
"You called me Babe."
"What I just saw and listened to was my Babe. My Babe stands up for herself and doesn't let herself be bullied. My Babe wants to fly and won't let anyone hold her back."
He told her and the pride was evident in his voice.
"So… I have some questions." She told him with a grin.
"Ask." He smiled back at her.
"Earlier you used the phrase 'I always thought' and referred to things that you 'used to think' you couldn't give me." He nodded. "That sounds like past tense. Doest that mean that things have changed?"
"Yes."
"You said something about wanting to offer me things that you 'weren't' in a position to offer. Has that position changed?"
"Yes."
"What would you offer me?" She asked. He watched her carefully before he rose from his spot on the cough.
"What will you offer me?"
They were at a crossroads and they both knew it. This was their make or break time. Stephanie knew she had to be the one to bite the bullet first. He'd really laid himself bare for her and now it was her turn.
"When I was sitting in my apartment waiting for either you or Joe to come in to face Scrog I had a few realization. Yes, I told Joe I loved him and I did, but it wasn't the kind of love that would last forever." She snorted. "Obviously."
"Babe." He didn't want to hear about her love for the cop.
"No. Let me finish. I realized something else too. Something that I never told anyone." She took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "I realized that I love you too, but I'm not the queen of denial for nothing. I knew that it was the kind of love to last a lifetime and it scared me. So I put up barriers and mental blocks. I twisted everything you've said to keep myself protected."
She had to stop for a moment and he didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. She loved him. He let her take the time she needed. She loved him and he could wait as long as necessary.
"Besides you, I've had two significant relationships. There was my first marriage and then Joe. You know how well those turned out." She rolled her eyes. "But I survived them all. They didn't really affect my heart, not like they should if I had really and truly loved them. I've been broke up with Joe about fifteen minutes and I'm alright. Then there is you."
"What about me?"
"You, Carlos Manoso, are dangerous for me. You could hurt me beyond words and I think I've always known that. I don't know if I could survive you."
"Babe, I would never…" He started to insist and rose from the couch. Ste stood up and met him halfway across the living room. She stopped him by putting her hand on his chest.
"No, you would never do it on purpose. I know that, but if things don't work out between us, it could break my heart. I've always know that you were the one with the power to truly break my heart and it terrified me. So much so that I hid from it and denied it with everything I had, but I still couldn't stay away from you." She took another deep breath. "I'm done denying it though. I'm ready to face our someday and see where it goes if you are. I love you Carlos. I'm in love with you. I'm offering myself to you. Now, what are you offering me?"
"Babe, you can have anything and everything you want." He pulled her into his arms. "I love you and I'm offering you me. If you want to get married… then we'll get married. Actually, I kind of like that idea." He winked at her. "If you want babies then we'll talk about it and probably have a couple. I like that idea too, a lot more than I ever thought I would. The thought of a little piece of you and me to live on is starting to really appeal to me. Whatever happens though, we'll decide together and come up with a solution that works for both of us. Is that something that you can accept and live with?"
"Damn skippy!"
The End