Co-written with teecrushfic for Big Time Bang on Livejournal last year.
Kendall put his magazine – Hockey News, simple enough – over his face and leaned back. It couldn't drown James' whining out, but it could block his overly-tanned face from his view, however briefly.
He lay there as James complained for the nineteenth time that day that he needed better clothes; clothes more suited to the important man/rockstar/wannabe everything he planned to be. Currently, he was bitching cause his mother had flatly refused to increase his clothing allowance and he was in need of a suit, preferably Armani or Boss and he had so far resisted any attempts to beg, plead, threaten or pout additional funds out of her.
Kendall, whose idea of dressing up was to wear his one tie with literally any shirt that had a collar, was about ready to thump James on the head with his blow-dryer and drag his body away to a place that was small, dark, and hopefully soundproof.
He groaned.
"What am I supposed to do?" James sighed heavily, flopping down on the couch dramatically and running a hand through his hair. He looked downright distressed, and nibbled his bottom lip thoughtfully, staring up at the ceiling. "Mom of all people should know how important it is to wear the right clothes to certain events. Doesn't she care about my happiness at all?"
It was a rhetorical question, but James still looked over at Kendall pleadingly, as if he had all the answers. Kendall looked like he wasn't even listening to him, and James sighed heavily.
"My life really sucks at the moment," he muttered to himself, referring not only to his lack of new clothes, but also to a little problem he'd been having for a few months now.
He sighed and rubbed his forehead.
Then he sighed again, and a few minutes later again, for good measure.
Carlos, who had been embroiled in a dome-hockey death match with Logan, and so, had avoided all the drama so far, finally vanquished his friend and was fortunate enough to clue in to the Woes of James.
He flopped down beside Kendall and pulled the magazine off his face; Kendall growled and pulled it back.
"Hey, if we have to listen to this and suffer, then so do you," Carlos informed him, and Kendall growled again.
"I have been listening – was just hoping to not have to look at him too. The whining is bad enough, but along with the pouting? Fucking unbearable."
Carlos had to admit this was true. "Look, Diamond, if you're so hard up for clothes, get a job like the rest of the freaking world. Get a job at one of those stores where they frisk you before letting you in – that's right up your alley. Snobbishness and haute couture."
James had been about to let out another heavy sigh but then turned to stare at Carlos incredulously. He just looked at him as if Carlos had suggested he cut off his foot for a long moment, his mouth hanging open, then blinked. "Get… a job?"
"Yes," Logan said, flopping down between Kendall and Carlos. "Yes, get a job. It's what normal people do to earn money. Like Kendall working at the supermarket, remember? You can't expect your mother to give you an allowance for the rest of your life, James."
James was frowning and pouting. Frouting. "I know what the word job means, thank you very much. I have a job. I'm a popstar, okay? But apparently that doesn't pay quite as well as I was expecting." His frown deepened. "And I can't get a regular job – I have no experience whatsoever; and I don't wanna spend entire days working my ass off in some dirty, un-air-conditioned place where I'm treated like shit and then come home in the middle of the night – where I'll be too tired to hang out with you guys!"
James was nothing if not a drama queen.
Logan raised a brow and pulled his leg up onto the couch. "Well, Mr. Diamond," he said softly. "It's either work or no fancy clothes."
That, James understood, and he grumbled for the next couple of hours, trying to figure out how bad it would be not to get any new clothes. Finally, he realized that that was just not an option, and so he reluctantly reached for the newspaper on the kitchen counter, and started looking. Not because he was seriously considering the idea of getting a job, of course, but it couldn't be bad to know what they were looking for out there, right? Right. Besides… maybe it would impress Kendall and the others if he actually did find a job. Maybe they didn't believe he could do it.
Well, he was going to prove them wrong.
Maybe.
He scanned the ads, wrinkling his nose – he definitely wasn't going to clean offices in the middle of the night. Or wear a hot dog costume to advertise some new restaurant and hand out flyers to people. Or mow people's lawns. Honestly, were there no decent jobs out there? What was happening to the world?
But then he spotted an ad that made him pause. Because Abercrombie & Fitch were looking for someone young and dynamic – and James was. He was also good-looking and had amazing washboard abs – so maybe they were going to let him model their clothes. Standing around in an air-conditioned store, showing off his body and jeans that made his ass look incredible didn't sound like a terrible job to him. And the pay was probably way better than all of these other jobs together.
Decision made, James reached for the phone, called, and got an interview that same day – and was told that if things worked well, he could start right away. He didn't tell anyone where he was going, though, because just in case it didn't work out, he didn't want to be teased and made fun of by those three dorks. So he snuck out of the apartment and made his way to the store, a big smile on his face – that always impressed people.
The interview was short; five minutes after entering the store, he was hired. Sadly, though, they didn't even want to see his abs, which made James pout for a second or two. But at least he had a job and would be able to afford all sorts of great clothes, which was really all he wanted.
First, they sent him into the storage room where he had to open boxes with new clothes that had just arrived. He resisted the urge to try the clothes on right away, and just added the price tags and folded each item neatly, like he'd been told. Then he carried them into the store, and was told where to put them.
"Keep one of the shirts, and go get one of the jeans over there," the salesgirl with the pretty blue eyes told him.
James beamed. "Do I get to keep that? Thank you, that's so awesome! I knew this job would be fantastic."
The girl – Tabitha – was looking at him incredulously, and James realized that no, he was definitely not going to get to take home brand-new clothes that cost a fortune and had just come in.
Oops. Faux-pas!
He grinned. "I was kidding, Tab – can I call you Tab?"
"Tab" almost growled, and James cleared his throat, deciding to just shut up. It was clearly better for the work climate. He licked his lips and slid the shirts onto the shelves, but kept one of them out like Tabitha had asked him to. Then he picked one of the jeans he'd been told to take, and looked at his grumpy superior questioningly. "What do I do with them?"
"You're gonna go back to the storage rooms where we keep a few mannequins, and you're going to dress one of them. Then you're gonna put it in the window. Be careful not to tear any of the clothes. If I see any damage, the cost of the clothes is coming out of your paycheck. I'm warning you."
She narrowed her eyes and James gulped. Then he nodded and took the clothes back to the storage room, taking a deep breath when he was alone again. He wasn't going to last two days at this job if he went on like this. Which would mean Kendall, Carlos and Logan would be right – and he could not let that happen.
Rubbing the back of his neck, he finally took a look around, looking for the mentioned mannequins. He could see them standing in a corner, and made his way over to them, eyeing them warily.
They creeped him out a little. Okay, a lot.
"So which one do I take?" he murmured to himself, not wanting to make another bad impression by picking one Tabitha didn't like. But how was he supposed to know her taste in men? Or mannequins – whatever.
He put the clothes aside, then turned the mannequins around to face him; there were five, all male – though he did have his doubts about one of them, 'cause no one had lashes that long, except James himself – and then took in their features. The first one was fugly, the second one was the girl-in-boy-disguise, the third one was dark-haired and since they currently already had three other brunette ones in the window, he wasn't going to take that one into the store – there had to be some sort of balance; the fourth one was a redhead, and the fifth one…
James stopped, and his heart skipped a beat. The resemblance was incredible. The body type was pretty much right, and then it had those cheekbones and that chin, right down to the floppy hair and intense eyes. And then there were the eyebrows and dimples.
The freaking mannequin had dimples.
Basically, the mannequin was Kendall's doppelganger. And James couldn't help staring.
"James? Are you done?"
James blinked, and wondered how long he'd been standing there, staring at that mannequin, and then quickly grabbed one of the other four – they had more prominent abs, which was what they seemed to like here at A&F – and dressed it, which was oddly more difficult than it looked. Then he put it over his shoulder and threw one last glance at mannequin-Kendall before he reluctantly left it in the back and made his way back into the store. Sure, he was kind of tempted to put the Kendall one in the window, but he planned to inspect that particular mannequin more closely later, which he couldn't do it if was in the front for the whole world to see.
He installed the mannequin he'd chosen in the window, got a reluctant thumbs-up from his boss, then had other stuff to do, but for the rest of the day, he couldn't think about anything but the Kendall doll in the back.
It was half an hour before closing time, and James couldn't wait to get home. It had been a long-assed day, but he felt good, and was going to enter the apartment with a huge, smug grin on his face cause woohoo! He actually had a job!
"Shit," Tabitha murmured suddenly, and James, always helpful – or just plain curious – looked at her questioningly.
"Everything okay?" he asked tentatively; Tabitha hadn't snapped at him for the rest of the day, which had to mean that she was pleased with his work. Still, James had a feeling that woman could get pretty fierce, so he preferred to keep a safe distance for now.
She looked up. "I forgot that I have to leave early to pick up my–" She paused. "Never mind. I guess he's just gonna have to wait half an hour longer."
She nibbled her lips, and James thought. "I could close up for you, if you like."
She frowned, then snorted. "Like I'd trust you with the key. You've only just started working here. You could be a serial killer for all I know!" She paused. "A serial killer with unbelievably white teeth, but still…"
"Well, I'm not," James laughed – then shrugged. "But seriously, look, you've got my address, phone number, name – if I stole all the clothes or money, you'd know where to find me."
She bit her lip, considering it, and then finally, reluctantly agreed. "All right. I would never do this under normal circumstances, but this is an emergency, so… I'm gonna trust you. Lock up the shop in half an hour, then make sure everything is in order before you leave. Come to my house and drop the key into the mailbox – if it's not there when I get home later, I'm gonna call the police. This is my address." She handed him a scrap of paper.
James beamed – if he was getting this huge responsibility on his first day, he had to have done something right. "That won't be necessary – thank you! I will make sure to close and bring you the key – you don't have to worry about anything and you're not going to regret this!"
She raised a brow. "Wanna bet?"
Then she left, and James stepped behind the cash register, tilting his chin up. He liked it here.
A few more customers came in that evening, and James made sure to be friendly – which he always was – and helpful – which he always was, as well. Then, when the time came, he closed and locked the shop's door, locked in the money and turned off the lights. He grabbed a few boxes when he went back into the storage room, piling them to make more room.
And then he saw the Kendall mannequin again. He bit his lip and made his way over to it, taking a breath.
"Hey Kendall," he said softly. "How's it going?"
Then he looked around, embarrassed, because who talked to a fucking doll?
Apparently, James did.
He reached up and ran his fingers through Kendall 2.0's hair, sighing. "I always want to touch your hair but it would be kind of awkward if I just did it randomly without a reason, wouldn't it?" he murmured, looking into the mannequin's eyes. "Well, the real Kendall's hair. You're just a mannequin."
He frowned. "What the hell am I even doing here?"
He stepped back and tried to look away, but it was really hard because the doll was naked. And didn't have anything between its legs, which was a little disturbing and wrong in so many ways, but…
James paused. Then he spotted a few old-looking boxes in another corner of the room and went to look into them. There were some clothes that were a little torn or had lost a button; they were clearly old and hadn't been used for months. Figuring they didn't really need these anymore, James grabbed an outfit, and then spent the next few minutes dressing doll-Kendall. It was an outfit that Kendall would actually wear – jeans, a t-shirt and a plaid shirt – and fuck, dressed like this, the mannequin looked even more like Kendall.
James swallowed hard and licked his lips, then slid his arms around the doll's neck, looking at its lips.
He couldn't believe he was actually considering doing this, but before he could change his mind, he leaned in and kissed hard, plastic lips. He closed his eyes and pretended they were real for a moment, and then realized what the hell he was doing, and stepped back quickly, pushing doll-Kendall back.
"I'm losing my fucking mind," he muttered, grabbed the keys and left the building quickly without another glance at the mannequin and before he could do something even more ridiculous. He locked the door and dropped the key at Tabitha's, then made his way back home, where his friends were already beginning to get a little worried.
"Where the fuck have you been?"
This came from Logan and James blinked, standing in the doorway and looking into his friends' faces.
"Logie, dude, way to welcome home the conquering hero," Kendall admonished him from the kitchen where he was saucing up some homemade pizzas, ready for the oven. He looked at James, tilting his head. "Where have you been, though?"
James looked into three expectant faces and opened his mouth, swallowing hard.
"I was…"
Molesting a mannequin, his brain supplied helpfully.
"…at work. I was at work because I have a job now."
Pushing all thoughts of doll-Kendall out of his head, James smiled smugly and raised a brow. "Surprised?"
Kendall smiled over at James, raising an eyebrow. "You found a job the first day? Jamie, that's awesome! What'cha doing? Directing traffic shirtless? Demonstrating leg presses in a Speedo? Spill!"
Carlos was eating pepperoni slices from the bag, and Kendall smacked his hand with the spatula he was using to spread the sauce. "Dude! Leave some for the pizza, will ya? Jesus."
Carlos scowled and then licked the sauce off his hands appreciatively. "Good batch," he said cheerfully and started sprinkling on cheese.
James dropped his bag and made his way over to his friends, nudging Kendall. "Thanks for telling Logan to chill. I don't appreciate being snapped at by little people the moment I come through the door."
"Ah, don't mind them; they have less space to cram all their jealousy of The Tallest, and it makes them cranky."
Kendall grinned at Logan's scowl, and tossed a slice of pepperoni at him. James smirked when Logan protested, and ruffled his hair as he walked past him, sliding onto a stool at the kitchen island, watching Kendall. "You'd think they'd let me direct traffic shirtless, right? But no – I found a job at Abercrombie & Fitch. They even let me close today, dude! How amazing is that?"
"Dude, Abercrombie & Fitch? That is so up your alley. Pretty people, pretty clothes. You'll fit right in. And they let you close?"
James grinned. "Yep, Abercrombie & Fitch, and it is totally up my alley. I do fit in pretty well."
Kendall raised one of his mighty brows. "You must have been impressive. Did you work naked? You did, didn't you?"
He slid the pizzas in the oven and set the timer. "In fairness to the shorties, we just didn't know where you were and our calls went to voicemail, and so we were worried; figured you might have been sold into white slavery or something."
James stood up and grabbed a Coke from the fridge, taking a few sips and nodding. "They did let me close – I think it was an emergency, but I did it pretty well, so they might let me do it again. It's not like locking a door is that hard, but… whatever."
He rolled his eyes. "Sadly, I did not get to work naked; they didn't even want to see the abs, can you imagine that?" He shook his head, then sipped some more Coke and watched Kendall. "I would've called, but I didn't want to give anything away until I was sure I was gonna get to keep the job, you know? Sorry if I worried you."
"Dude, no abs?" Kendall moved over and yanked up James' shirt with no warning, then tapped the abs with his fingertips. "Do they know what they're missing? Did you show them? Did you whip off your shirt and yell "Behold, Your God Is Amongst You?" One of us should have gone with a trumpet to announce you."
He grinned and pulled James' shirt back down, then tugged the ends of his hair lightly. "Good for you, man – I'm proud of you."
James blinked through all of this – he had absolutely no objections to Kendall ripping his clothes off him, but him brushing those soft fingertips over his stomach lightly was killing him.
Kendall 2.0 would never do that, his brain told him, and James resisted the urge to hit himself on the head repeatedly. He was thinking about a fucking inanimate object; what the hell was wrong with him?
He shook his head and focused on Kendall. "They do not know what they're missing – but it's their loss. If they don't want to see them, I'm not going to force my abs upon them."
Then he grinned. "You're nuts," he said affectionately, shaking his head over Kendall, and when Kendall said he was actually proud of him, James gave him a wide smile. "Thank you! I'm proud of myself, actually. It was hard, but I do feel kind of satisfied now that I've worked for a whole day. And the pay is great, so… I think I can spend some time working there without, like, dying."
Kendall was amused. "They must have no idea of what they're missing, cause damn. But I'm sure there'll come a day when some lady comes in, comes up to you, says "My grandson is about your size, will you try this on for me?" You, ever-obliging, will whip your shirt off, and dazzle the whole store with your beauty, and when she buys the shirt, and six others, you will ring up the sale, and find that she's written her name and number on the receipt, all cougar-like. You will be intrigued and call, and spend a wild afternoon immersed in illicit sex and passion like you have never known before, emerging drained as she–"
Carlos had cracked up during this, and now clamped his hand over Kendall's mouth. "Holy shit, dude, STOP."
He let Kendall go, who sighed. "Fine. I could be writing for soaps if they still existed. But good, Jamie – we'll make a working man out of you yet. And because you're such a good guy, I put bacon and jalapeños on your pizza. Carlos gets none, because his gas is out of control as it is."
James was a little pale and looked disturbed, still trying to process Kendall's little story. "Oh my god, no. No, no, no. I'm… no, never gonna happen. I mean, I would of course model the clothes for anyone who asks me – I'm not rude or anything. But I certainly wouldn't engage in sexual activities with a woman four times my age."
The fact that he wasn't interested in sex with women at all, he kept to himself.
Then he had to snort. "Carlos' gas is bad, though, but thanks for making my favorite pizza, dude! It's nice to come home from a long day of work and dinner's almost on the table."
"Hey, it's the least I can do." Kendall smiled at him, then pulled the pizzas out when the timer dinged; Carlos setting the table.
Dinner time was always entertaining – it was just them and Katie, who played four sister roles and was used to them, and when they were done, Logan was left with their homework, Carlos had misplaced his helmet and was tearing the rooms upstairs apart, and Kendall and James were left to do the dishes.
James hated washing up, but he did like spending time with Kendall, so… Pruny hands were a small price to pay for some quality time with Kendall.
"I'm really psyched you got a job, Jamie," the latter said, setting a plate in the dish-rack. "I know working kind of sucks, but it's your money, you know? No one can tell you what to do with it. I kind of miss the market at home, having my own check. But think of the cool stuff you can buy!"
James nodded. "It's never really occurred to me to get a job," he admitted. "I mean, my mom always gave me everything I needed, so I never had to think about it. But I like the idea of having my own money that I can buy whatever I want with. It's going to be so awesome. I'm gonna take you guys out for a movie when I get my first paycheck."
"I know," Kendall nodded. "Brooke probably thinks you're building character this way, or, maybe just that you have way too many fucking clothes. I actually think the latter might be right. We have two closets in our room, yet there's no room for anything of mine in either of them. Hmmm."
He didn't really care, since most of his stuff made it from the laundry basket to his body, then back to another laundry basket, but he liked to remind James once in a while that two people slept there.
"Awww, you don't have to pay for our movie – we should take you out; celebrate when that happens."
Done with the dishes, Kendall rubbed his neck. "TV? Or are you gonna pass out early from being a tired working class stiff?"
James was still thinking about the closet situation in their room, and suddenly felt bad. "Yeah, sorry," he said, biting his lip and giving him a sheepish grin. "I've been meaning to throw out some old clothes, and I will, I promise. Just might take a while, now that I actually work."
"I've heard that for two years," Kendall sighed and hung up the dishtowel. "And yet, it never happens. I don't care though, you know that. I dress from whatever smells the least funky on the floor."
James grinned, 'cause that was so true, and shook his head. "And no, you're definitely not going to pay for my ticket! I'll be the one with the money, so I'm gonna take you guys out."
James put the towel down and stretched. "TV would be great… I might pass out, though. We'll see."
Kendall smiled back at James and they both flopped on the screamingly orange sofa, Kendall handing James the remote. "Okay, one rule – if you even pause on the Bravo channel? I will beat you," he warned, then stretched out, feet on the table, head back, shirt riding way up.
James smiled, then flopped down as well, reaching for the remote. He started zapping through the channels, not planning on pausing on Bravo at all. But it was just in that one tiny moment when he was on Bravo that he noticed Kendall's shirt that had ridden up almost all the way up to his nipples, and swallowed hard, trying not to stare.
Kendall closed his eyes, figuring he'd open them when James found a station, and so leaned back, then rubbed his stomach absently; his shirt had shrunk and that was the last time he was gonna trust Carlos with the laundry. He should have known better – Carlos got distracted by shiny things; specifically, shiny girl-shaped things and then it was all over but the fabric softener. And the tears.
He opened one eye when the not-quite-melodious voice of one of the fake Housewives of Beverly Hills reached his ears, and then growled, leaping on James and wrestling him to the floor.
"NO. BRAVO," he hissed when he had him pinned. "Dude. DUDE."
He shook his head briefly to get his hair out of his eyes, then stared down at James. "You need professional help, son."
James yelped, then stared up at Kendall with wide eyes, hoping frantically that Kendall wasn't going to notice that his body was… well, reacting, in ways that would probably shock Kendall forever. He shifted.
"Dude! I didn't even mean to watch it – I didn't! I just kind of got distracted," he explained, hoping Kendall wouldn't want to know all about that "distraction". He licked his lips and stared up at him – fuck Kendall. Why did he always, always, ALWAYShave to look so good?
"Dude! You stopped on RHBH! That's like watching… I don't know, pig on pig porn!"
Kendall leaned close and stage-whispered, "It's just WRONG."
He kept James pinned, shaking his head. "What am I gonna do with you, Jamie? Do I have to Clockwork Orange you and make you watch this kind of TV till you go insane or get a boob job? Hmmm?"
He shifted a little on top of him, then looked down. "Really? Camille Grammer gives you a stiffie? Oh God, it's so much worse than I thought. SO MUCH WORSE."
James was pink. Or red, he wasn't sure. Maybe even purple. Either way, he'd blushed a lot in the past few seconds, especially when Kendall noticed his stiffie and rubbed against it when he shifted. He was evil.
But fortunately, Kendall didn't realize that it was Kendall himself who'd given him the stiffie, thank God. He shifted and rolled them over till he was on top and had Kendall pinned.
He looked down at his friend, thinking about all the things he could do to him right now…
But then he thought about the bad, badD consequences that could have, and shook his head. No. No way. Never.
He stood up and took a deep breath. "It was a random stiffie if you must know," he said eventually, hoping Kendall would buy it.
Kendall totally let him do that, the whole pinning thing, and then looked up at him with that patented smirk, the one he saved up, used as his "Really now? Really?" smirk.
Then he lay there while James stood up, since it was kind of comfy on the floor. "A random stiffie? Dude, we stopped having those at fourteen. Now hard-ons generally need a reason, and if that was the reason? Dude. I worry."
He sighed and finally got up, and pulled his shirt down again before taking it off entirely and flopping back on the couch, shirtless.
James sighed. "Well, when I'm tired I still get them sometimes. And that was not the reason, okay? Jesus, I have more taste than that – and so does Little Diamond."
He grinned, but then his face fell when Kendall took off his shirt and his dick went sproing!
That? Was just evil.
Kendall grinned too. "Little Diamond? Awww. Last I saw he wasn't exactly little, didn't feel little either, but hey. I call mine KJr. and it's all good."
He looked up at James, immediately concerned by the change in expression. "You okay there, Diamond Squared?"
James blinked and shook his head. "Yeah… yeah, I'm okay. I just… maybe I should go to bed. I'm really tired."
He still couldn't stop himself from leaning against Kendall a little, resting his head on his shoulder.
"Yeah, you look a little beat," said Kendall sympathetically, and slid his arm around James for a moment, snuggling him to him and resting his cheek on James' head.
The moment lasted for several moments till Kendall hugged him and let go. "Sleep tight, okay? Close the door so the other idiots leave you alone, and I'll probably be up in a little while. I'll be super-quiet, okay?"
James nodded. "All right, thanks."
Then he stood up and gave him another smile before going upstairs. There, he took off his clothes and went into the bathroom to wank – doing it in his bed when Kendall could come up any second was dangerous. He wanked quickly, then slid under the covers and sighed heavily. His crush on Kendall was getting worse the more time he spent with him, and Kendall obviously wasn't going to return his love, and… it was just hard.
He rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, trying to sleep.
Downstairs, Kendall, after letting James go upstairs without any more trouble, flipped around till he found Sports Center and half watched it, half thought about their little wrestling match. They'd wrestled a million times in their lives and James had never had that reaction, but then again, maybe that did happen when he was tired. Kendall got a stiffie for a fair amount of reasons, but being tired was usually not one of them.
James was one of the reasons, and he could only be forever grateful that KJr. had decided to throw him one, so to speak, and stay in his quarters. He knew he owed his cock one. Or eight. KJr. was slightly demanding, not unlike Kendall Sr.
He went up to bed an hour later, and quietly walked through, closing the bathroom door to wash his face and brush his teeth, then back into the darkened room. He slipped into his bed and rolled over too, snuggling into his pillow, listening to the night sounds of the Palmwoods.
James wasn't asleep when Kendall came upstairs and he kept his eyes closed as he listened to Kendall get ready for bed which creaked a little when he got comfortable on it. James rolled onto his other side and looked over at Kendall's profile through the darkness. Only then did he finally close his eyes and fall asleep, wondering how or if he was ever going to get over Kendall.
Then it suddenly occurred to him that maybe Kendall 2.0 could help him. The thought alone made him roll his eyes, but on the other hand, it wasn't such a stupid idea. Maybe spending time with the mannequin would make him realize that Kendall wasn't all that special, and he would fall out of love with him right away.
But Kendall was special. Still, he had to get over this crush; it was getting dangerous. He had to come up with a solution soon either way, and he would.
Tomorrow.
Kendall was barely awake when James got up and went into the bathroom – he had to work that morning, and then sing in the afternoon. Kendall wondered if James had told Gustavo he had a job yet and how that would go over, and decided that if he needed to stand up for James, he would.
Bros for life and all that, even if that was all it was ever going to be.
He wondered when his feelings for James had morphed from just a best friend, to a best friend who was hot, to a boy he found attractive, to the boy he had unwittingly – and maybe unwillingly – fallen in love with. Although he hadn't read any literature on the subject – or consulted Logan, which was basically the same thing – he knew falling for your best friend was a bad idea. In the very best-case scenario, they loved you too, and it was rose petals and imported beer forever, but in most cases it was an awkward, "Oh, uhm, cool, but you know, I really don't… yeah. We're still bros though, right?"
Kendall didn't consider himself unlucky – far from it – but everyone had a moment when a dream just imploded. He didn't want his dream of James to do that, to lose him, to fuck up their dynamic. He'd rather wank forever.
Which was gonna have to be okay, cause baby, that was looking like how it was gonna be.
And James, beautiful, amazing James, had no clue. None; and maybe in the end, that was best. And also, James was beautifully, amazingly heterosexual, which Kendall had to admit was somewhat of a barrier to his plan of world James-domination.
James came out of the bathroom then, looking amazing like always and Kendall waved to him from his bed. "Hola, hottie. Cómo estás?"
James looked down at him with a smile. "Dude, it is way too early for Spanish," he said softly. Then he sighed. "You look comfortable… any chance I can just come over there and sleep some more, and just ditch work?"
He sighed, knowing that wasn't a good idea. "I'll see you later, all right? Go back to sleep; you look tired."
He smiled and waved, then left reluctantly, leaving Kendall to imagine that scenario and yes, wank. One of eight. Seven of nine. Something.
Work that morning was uneventful; Tabitha was pretty impressed that he'd managed to lock the door – why everyone thought locking a door was such a hard thing to do, he would never know; he'd been able to to do it since he was about four years old – and she had a lot for him to do, so technically, time passed pretty quickly and the morning was over in no time.
Tabitha left to have lunch, and James was relieved that there was another guy working in the store, so he could excuse himself to go to the storage room, feeling like he had some sort of dirty little secret. Which he did, sort of. Because the fact that he was so fascinated with a fucking mannequin was definitely not normal.
"Hey," he said to the mannequin, his voice low. "Look, I don't even know what I'm doing here. You look a lot like a friend of mine and…"
He trailed off, looking around and rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "And I have a crush on him," he continued. "And I'm thinking that maybe if I pretend you're him for a while, I may lose interest in Kendall, and…" He paused. "Does that make any sense? That's not going to happen, is it?"
He looked at the mannequin. "Whenever I think I'm over you, you keep coming up with new ways to make me fall in love with you all over again. It's like you're doing it on purpose, but you're not cause you're completely clueless. Even when I get a fucking hard-on when you're on top of me and my erection is pressed against your thigh, you don't get it. I mean, how obvious do I need to be here?"
He sighed and leaned against the mannequin. "Why do you drive me so crazy, hm? Why?"
He kissed the corner of the doll's lips and closed his eyes for a moment.
Then he heard a noise near the door and jumped away quickly, seeing Martin, the other guy who worked here, eye him. "What are you doing back here?"
"Oh, uh, just… just familiarizing myself with everything," James said, waving his hands around a little too wildly, and giving him a smile. "And I need to get going anywhere – done for today. So, um… bye! Don't burn down the store."
He made a quick exit and let out a breath when he was outside.
He was losing his mind. It was quite clear now.
James might be losing his mind, but Kendall was losing his temper, and that might be worse. Gustavo was being ridiculously anal, Kelly had a headache and wasn't helping, and Carlos and Logan were fighting over some trivial thing that made Kendall want to yank their heads off and throw them out the window.
He was on the couch in the outer office, playing Minesweeper and muttering "Serenity Fucking Now," when James showed up, looking pretty and fresh and not bothered by a single thing, that lucky bastard.
When James was in the room, he blinked. "Wow, what's going on here?" he asked, and since Kendall was the only one who wasn't busy doing anything like fighting or yelling, he flopped down next to him.
"What did I miss?"
"I blame you," Kendall muttered, stabbing the fire key viciously. "You started it – "Call that guy, Kendall. You could be a star, Kendall. What, you wanna take us with you? Thanks Kendall!"
He looked up. "And now we are in a sunny, hot, fake-boob ridden hell, complete with a sweaty fat guy with an attitude in the other room. I'm gonna kill him."
He looked back down at his game. "As soon as I blow up this fucking little cargo ship. Then, Gustavo is DEAD TO ME. And also, really dead; start composing his eulogy now 'cause he seems to like you lately."
"Um…" James frowned. "Are you gonna tell me what happened now? And you're not going to kill Gustavo; I'm not his biggest fan either, but he is an okay guy when he wants to be, which, admittedly, isn't very often. But either way… tell me."
He rubbed the back of Kendall's neck, knowing that always made him feel better.
Kendall glared at him, then told him the whole story which was actually fairly unbelievable in its sheer ridiculousness, and ended with Kendall nearly shrieking that a thong was a privilege, not a right and that men who clear 275 lbs in the shade should NOT be wearing anything composed of string and spandex!
The soothing hand on the back of his neck helped, though, and he sighed and flopped onto James' lap – sort of – his head on James' leg. He looked up and shoved his fringe out of his eyes. "Tell me your morning was better. Please God. You saw some hot girls, the dressing room had an emergency situation with four girls wedged into it, their semi-naked bodies flushed from naughty groping… Hell, I'll even take a hot guystory, that's how desperate I am for entertainment."
God, he was good. He'd prefer a hot guy story, actually.
James looked down at him and stroked his hair. "No. Sadly, my morning was completely uneventful. Wish I had a story to entertain you with, though."
He ran his fingers through his hair and smiled. "Just imagine me falling over my own feet, and you'll be entertained."
"You could make one up if you really loved me," murmured Kendall, already falling to Diamond's Magic Fingers (patent pending). "Also, you can keep doing that all day. Fuck the rest of the world. Pet me."
His eyes closed, then opened again, and he smiled, a little, half-dimple smile. "What did you fall over? Did you have a moment with a mannequin or something? Some of those are scarily realistic. You could find a James one and dress it in your image."
He sighed and turned on his side, facing James' stomach.
James flushed deeply at the mention of the mannequin, and panicked. Fuck! Did Kendall know something? Had he seen him? But no, that was impossible. Was it? He took one or two deep breaths, then calmed down again and nodded.
"Yeah," he said, licking his lips. "I did stumble over a mannequin in the storage room. And fell right into a box of clothes. It was a classic James moment; you should've seen it."
He grinned and rubbed Kendall's scalp. "Feeling better yet?"
Kendall didn't know anything that went on in James' mind, unless they were playing Battleship, which James sucked at and was transparent during, but he did know that James really did have amazing fingers and he didn't want to move.
"You did?" Kendall smiled into James' stomach, having wiggled closer – he was now perfectly comfortable. "Where's security cameras when you need 'em? And mmmmyeah, better. So good. You can rub any part of me, anytime."
In true Kendall fashion, he didn't think anything of that comment until it was out of his mouth, then was glad his face was shoved into James' non-existent stomach, and sighed contentedly until Carlos came looking for them.
James did get the statement and swallowed hard. Duuude. If Kendall wasn't so freaking clueless, he would've jumped him already. There were definitely parts of Kendall James wanted to rub, but he had a feeling Kendall would be a little stunned if he actually reached between his legs and started rubbing him there.
He imagined it for a moment, then blinked and made himself remember that Kendall had his head in his lap, so thinking about something that turned him on, was definitely not a good idea right now.
He looked up when Carlos came in.
"Hey, there's the man – gotta get back inside." Carlos folded his arms and looked down at Kendall, who muttered, "No fucking way."
"YES, fucking way. All of us, now."
"No. I hate you all."
Carlos sighed. And people thought James was the diva.
Well… he was, but Kendall could be just as bad when he got all goddamned stubborn and shit.
"I hate you too, but get up anyway."
When Kendall didn't move, Carlos sighed and grabbed both of Kendall's Conversed feet and dragged him off the couch, onto the floor, sat on him, then tickled him, till Kendall was hysterical with laughter and had punched him in the hip.
"Get the fuck off me, you maniac!"
"Not yet – you getting up nice when I do?"
Kendall was panting and flushed. "No. I mean, what the fuck ever, yes, get UP."
Carlos did, and was promptly head-locked, and it took Kelly five minutes to wrangle them into the studio.
When the furor had died down, James ruffled Kendall's hair. "All right, so let's go in there and sing, dude. Or whatever the big man wants us to do." He wrapped an arm around Kendall and smiled.
Kendall sighed and slid his arm around James' waist, leaning against him. "I think you bruised a rib, you psycho Garcia," he grumbled. "You're heavier than you look."
Carlos flipped him off, then led the way into the soundbooth.
In the studio, tensions had diffused a little, mostly because of Logan, who was the yin to Kendall's yang most of the time, and though Gustavo and Kendall circled each other warily for the rest of the afternoon, it was all okay in the end – although Gustavo had clearly not forgotten any Knight-esque comments about his choice of underwear, and Kendall had no intention of taking it back.
Hell, he didn't even wear a man-thong and he had a much more suitable body type. Jesus.
Now James in a thong, holy Jesus, Mary, Joseph and a few stray camels on the road…