i made this different than igy bc i gotta categorize the shots somehow. organization excites me
now time for you to get excited, jessie: a series of kingdom keepers oneshots, most famanda, others all, inspired or having to do with skillet songs. i cant tell you how long this will last—i literally currently have two ideas. but this have been a year of experimenting. doing tlotf was one of the biggest steps ive taken even in the direction of becoming edgier with my writing and i guess we can lump oa and cts with that, bc those were my first serious serious famanda romance smoochies, and this igy was a bunch of cool stuff, and aia lol im still laughing, and chessy chess is one of this things im most proud of. SO. this will contain a lot of experimental and unique stuff. expect additions to this shotseries next week and maybe the week after. then? the craziest thing yet. :D
sorry about constantly talking about my fics over and over again agahh thing is im still tryna figure this all out for myself
this is inspired by "comatose". (listen to the live version. im never listenin to this song again i just played it on my beats on repeat for two hours writing this i am DONE with this song lol).
this song is extremely intense, not what i would immediately call edgy, but as i looked deeper and deeper into it i found something that i could use. the tile itself revealed the destined plot to me.
this story, i felt as i was forming it, is very mellow for the heaviness of the song, but i added in some things to keep the darkness. (that i hope will keep the darkness.)
this takes place after three, before four, when finn and amanda like each other but are not a thing. and somehow, someway, both are in sbs together.
the title will be changed soon maybe.
rise
song 1: "comatose"
Finn is slowly, and surely, going darker and darker and darker and darker. All paths and all alleyways and all possible systems down this involuntary road will prod him farther and farther till the Dark stays.
It has a quality, this Dark—or property, or ability, one of those kind of words—to fasten to his sight or soul or being. All that he feels. All that he is. A constant murky, dusky void.
And he hurts, he aches and throbs, he longs for this thing he grasped for, in a time before this. In something before all this dark. He imagines and doesn't see and feels the visions, never watches them. Uses his arms to reach, his feet to move.
Something pulsates a sad, phantom song, in the area below his head but above his stomach. Cannot recall what It may be. But It feels like It is not here.
He is without any sure sign of restoration what might have once been. Sitting, immobile, in this shady place.
A place where she is not here.
No names are used, nothing to categorize one untellable thing from another. But there is a beauty missing from his discerned area. An actuality so exquisite and wonderful and cosmic and bright that it doesn't need a name.
Something wrenches at Finn. It is behind a sheer, tearing, black sheet, and it must be from a time when he Was—sometime before this, something before all of this Dark—a night, that happened to be not dark at all. No. There was no Dark then. Several starry times, actually, where the Light is her. Light is this beauty.
He keeps this scene behind the sheet playing, in what is left of his shrinking mind, because that is all he can clamp onto. A sure thing. A reason to Stay and Be…
All he knows…he must return.
He must return.
He must get back to her. And cast his eyes on the full form of what he's dreaming of…
Amanda is spiraling, continuously. A cease to this cloudy grayness is unthinkable. It will just all lead to the Dark.
Bruised and beat and…punched…at...this is always and this will never be not happening. And she is powerless to end it, to kill it. So she remains. Able to strike but restraint in this hazy, shadowy void.
And she hurts, she aches and throbs, she longs for this thing she grasped for, in a time before this. In something before all this dark. She used to feel more. There is nothing other than this hating of the battering now, but there was a time when there was further emotional. She evokes a time of Solutions.
A pounding more powerful than the ones on her skin wants out. Cannot recall what it may be. But It feels like It is not there.
There is no sign of delivery from this cloaking distress to a place that might have once been. Now she stands, struggling, in this hazy place.
And place where he is not here.
He is weightlessness and he is the base. He keeps order…he lives so that others have life. There is presence and vitality and passion when his memory is induced.
Something tantalizes in front of Amanda. It is behind the sheer, tearing, black sheet, and it must be from a time when she Was—sometime before this, something before all of this Dark—a night, that happened to be not dark at all. No. There was no Dark then. When he did what he does best—he saves. Light is him. Light is sanctuary.
She keeps this scene behind the sheet playing, in what is left of her shrinking ability to stand, because that is all she can clamp onto. A sure thing. A reason to Stay and Be…
All she knows…she must return.
She must return.
She must get back to him. And receive all she's been needing during this time of nothing…
This is where they know their feelings for each other are real.
Both are there. Both fell simultaneously. And what could have been so beautiful wasn't—there's Earth and Above and Below and In-Between and Sleep and Memory. This is where lovers are together.
Now, they are in a place where one is alone. Without. Lacking the thing they need.
And both are Young and both haven't Realized the requirement for each other's company. The life each receives from the name of the other. The attraction between and the creation between and the magnet that was submitted into both minds at the time of Formation. The only match in existence that share these names lies motionless somewhere.
It's a sadistic finger that placed both in this Dark—the kind of act that nauseates and arouses and angers. And because each need the event of unity, and closeness and intimacy and attachment, those who are Finn and Amanda may exist to Stay and Be when they are apart.
What is causing the pull inside of both lost beings is somehow trapped in between breakable bars and unhappily so. It hurts the most. This is what they are clawing at.
Then this is when the feelings intensify. They want and yearn so much that the emotion takes over the confusion he's experiencing and the hate she's living and is even more powerful. He can't rise. She collapses to immobility. And something burns bright.
They are both so vulnerable...lost all things that make them strong...and yet...because of who they are...they crawl ahead...
He imagines but cannot see. She screams but cannot speak. They not only don't have their life-sources but they don't have the ways in which to arise and go and find their love.
And both imagine…is this what Forever will be?
A new feeling blooms, first in their cores, and then sluggishly reaching their extremities. It thumps and grows numb and replaces the former feelings.
But perhaps this hurts the most, because what they are needing is there, right there, but they can't…return to it…Return…
They awake.
Their eyes open at the same time. The first thing they see is each other.
No movement is made, no breathing. No blinking. They are on something soft, facing each other.
Then Amanda reaches out to feel Finn's face: she does. It's the first thing they've both touched for forever.
He is aware of her contact and she is conscious of her sight that he is here. Both sets of eyes are cloudy. Both are locked.
No movement, no breathing, no blinking around them. There may be. But nothing they acknowledge.
The first thing they feel is each other.
They were brought back.
They were returned.
And both see, at the same time, silently telling how similar both times in Dark were, when the pulsating object appears in whole form in front of each. Their…hearts…their hearts…their hearts present themselves to the lovers.
He is my heart, she thinks. And she is mine, he thinks.
They just have to see each other to share how terrible it was there. And both empathize.
There is no Dark here.
They just stare.