A/N: Welcome to my new multi-chapter. Hope you enjoy it.
Dead and Gone
Patrick Jane was seated on the arm of his couch looking out the window of the bullpen when Agent Lisbon found him, the father of their last victim whose case they'd solved, right behind her. She knew he was sad and that doing this was pushing it, but he'd been doing better, and she just hadn't the heart to say "no" to Mr. Taylor. Light from the sunset was going through Jane's blond curls and for some reason seeing him like that made her feel sad too.
She turned back to Taylor. "He's right there." She nodded her head in Jane's direction then backed away. One thing she wasn't sure she'd ever get used to was the fishbowl conference room, which meant there were very few options of places you could go to hear, but not be seen. So she made her way to one of the pillar's and leaned against it. Just enough cover to try and hide and of that didn't work, she could pretend she was intentionally watching.
"Mr. Jane?" Taylor's deep voice asked.
Lisbon could hear the squeaking of the leather couch as Jane turned to face Taylor.
"I…," Taylor cleared his throat, "I understand that you're responsible for finding my daughter's killer. Thank you."
She peeked in again, unable to stop herself, and saw Jane standing in front of Taylor shaking his hand.
"I've read about you, Mr. Jane," Taylor proceeded.
Lisbon swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and moved out of sight again. Today was not the day to bring this up.
Taylor took a deep breath. "Do you think I'll ever see her, Jessica, again?"
Lisbon inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. Please, Jane…lie.
Jane followed Lisbon out of HQ. It'd been a very emotional day for him and their last case hard. Aside from the moment when Lisbon had slammed the killer into his own kitchen table, he was glad it was over. He took a deep breath as she stalked ahead of him, he knew she was furious with him, he just wasn't sure what for yet.
He rolled his neck causing a loud cracking sound that had Lisbon glaring at him over her shoulder. He hadn't slept in a few nights and his body was stiff from all his rolling. This wasn't the first time he'd cracked his neck and he knew it grossed her out, but he couldn't help it, it hurt.
A soft glow from three separate street lights lit the parking lot. Lisbon's heels clicked on the pavement and he smiled when he realized that she was walking him to his car. She wasn't so mad she wouldn't make sure he got to his vehicle safely. Ever since she'd started dating Pike, she'd also started walking him to his car. He figured it had something to do with misplaced guilt. She was spending all her time with Pike, and had been neglecting him, so this was her way of making herself feel better about it.
She stopped at his Citroen, which he'd gotten back in the last month, and turned on him. Her green colored eyes were ablaze, but when she spoke her voice was as smooth as honey. "I talked to Courtney today."
"Down in forensics? When did you have time for that?" Jane reached into his suit coat pocket and slid his finger through the loop of his keychain.
"She mentioned that she asked you out a couple weeks ago and that you declined." She was going for casual.
He removed his keys and flipped them around his index finger and into the palm of his hand as he looked at his feet and smiled awkwardly. Lisbon could make a person twice her size feel like they were on trial, which was why she was such a good cop. Jane just didn't particularly like being on the receiving end of it. "Yes, well it is a free country…"
"I thought you liked her," her voice was bordering on ridiculously sweet.
Jane knew better. He was confused by her seemingly random line of questioning, she'd never been interested in his dating life before, except on occasion where violent criminals had been involved, but decided to answer her anyway. "I do like her, I just don't want to date her."
Her expression softened and Jane could have sworn that he'd seen a split second's worth of fear in her eyes.
"Why not?" She shoved her hands into her front jean pockets. It was the first question so far that had been completely sincere. The one she really wanted an answer to and yet it wasn't one he could give her; so he chose levity.
"Is it that time of the month again?" He let a small smile creep over his face. "Because you're kind of acting like a girl."
She punched him in the arm.
"Ow!"
"I am a girl!" Her cheeks flushed.
His smile softened as she wrapped her arms around herself in a very feminine way. He knew she was a girl, had never been in doubt of the fact actually, especially not recently. Lisbon was even very good looking, with a strong jaw, high cheek bones, dimples when she smiled, freckles on her nose and cheeks and ebony hair and on top of all that she was witty and smart. So, it surprised him that she seemed to feel a need to remind him of that fact. He'd hoped to steer the conversation away from awkward, but apparently she wasn't going to go for it like she normally did and his teasing had unexpectedly made this moment very awkward.
He supposed it had something to do with Marcus. He had, after all, be completely honest and upfront with her about his feelings. Jane had liked Marcus immediately, had offered him help because he'd seen something in the man that had made him take pity. He'd just never suspected that Pike would go after Lisbon, not that she wasn't worth going after, or that Lisbon would respond to him the way she had.
"You are such a jerk," she mumbled. "How long has it been since you've had a sincere conversation with somebody?"
"A month," he said outright. She wanted honesty, he could give it to her. He ignored the pang of guilt when her face dropped and watched as she pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and started looking around the parking lot. His brow furrowed. "Why are you asking me this Lisbon? You've never once shown an interest in my love life."
"What love life?" she retorted. Her hands rubbed up and down her arms.
"Why don't you just tell me what's bothering you so we can move on with our lives?" he rejoined.
She made eye contact and took a deep breath. "Why did you tell Jessica Taylor's father that he'd never see her again?"
So that was what all of this was about. When Mr. Taylor had stopped by earlier he'd asked him if he believed in life after death. He told him no and she'd obviously been listening. His eyes narrowed. "Because she's dead, Lisbon." He watched her face drop, watched her recoil into herself as if someone had just punched her in the stomach, but he couldn't stop himself. "Gone. Murdered. Nothing more than a memory."
She shook her head. "No."
"When you're dead, you're dead," he said.
Lisbon had always been the religious one. Her cross was the only openly blatant symbol of her belief that she wore, she wasn't preachy or superior, but everyone knew what she believed in and how deeply she believed it. Jane knew it was her way of coping with life and loss. He'd never questioned her or belittled her faith before—not until now. He was being brutal, but the hurt he'd been feeling all day was finally getting the best of him and his lashing out now seemed somehow inevitable.
"You want to believe in a higher power, but the only higher power around here is the man in the big corner office of this building who gave you that badge," he said pointing first to their offices behind him and then to the badge she wore on her belt. "One day, you'll have to wake up and realize that."
She looked out over the parking. "That was cruel Jane, even for you."
He looked at the petite woman in front of him, suddenly wondering why he'd always thought she was bigger than she actually was—why he'd thought she was imposing. She seemed so fragile right now, broken.
He'd done that.
He pushed his guilt back before letting out a quick, jarring laugh. "What should I have done? Lied?"
"Yes? You do it all the time," she accused. "I know you're miserable Jane, but that doesn't mean that you have to make everyone else miserable too."
"That's why you were asking me about my love life?" He could feel a smirk crossing his face, as the realization hit. "You think that if I start dating that I'll be less depressed?"
Her face hardened and the light he was used to seeing in her eyes was gone. "The thought did cross my mind," she told him dispassionately, sending a chill up his spine.
A cool breeze brushed past them causing Lisbon to shiver at almost the exact time he had. She wrapped her arms around herself again, but this time it was for comfort.
"So, let me get this straight, you start dating Marcus and are happy and fulfilled and you think, "gosh, if I could just find a girl for poor Jane."
"That's not fair," she said. "Or true…"
"So easy to fix everyone else's problems while you're leaving them behind, isn't it?"
Her eyes widened. "I'm sorry, are you accusing me of leaving you behind? How many times have you run away, Jane? How many times have you left me behind?"
Jane's stomach clenched. He really didn't want to be doing this. "Do you remember what today is?"
She looked more hurt at his question than she'd been by anything else he'd said to her so far. "Of course I…"
"Then why would you say these things to me?" He stepped quickly toward her.
Her arms dropped and she batted her eyelashes nervously as he entered her personal space—still she stood her ground. "I'm sorry about Angela and Charlotte. I'm sorry that it tore a hole in your heart so deep that the scar will never fully heal, and I'm sorry that on those rare occasions when the hurt is out of control you can't regulate yourself and turn into someone mean and spiteful." She let her words sink in and when she spoke again her voice was calm and controlled. "I wish I could take the pain away, I do…It's been twelve years and one day you're going to have to stop using that ring," she pointed at the wedding band he still wore on his left hand, "as an excuse to not be happy."
He grabbed her hand mid-jab and was surprised by her rapid pulse. "It's not an excuse."
"Prove it." She ripped her hand from his grasp, turned from him then unexpectedly she stopped and walked back before pointing her finger in his face. "Next time a grieving family member asks you if they'll see their loved ones again," she spat, "show a little human decency and compassion and tell them yes! I don't care what you believe."
With that she turned her heel on him, her brown hair whipping him in the face as she went, and stormed off to her car.
"Yes, you do," he whispered. The sudden insight sent another chill throughout his body. It wasn't new, but now it felt more poignant than it ever had before. He had to get away, away from HQ, away from his discovery, away from her as quickly as possible. He got into his car and was peeling out of the parking lot before she'd even reached hers.
Lisbon woke with a start. Her head was throbbing and her eyes were blurry. A bright light hung above her head, swaying back and forth slowly. She squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again trying to clear her vision but it didn't help, she could barely make anything out. Her hand began to lift to her head, but stopped abruptly. She tried lifting her head, but couldn't. She tried moving the rest of her body, unsuccessfully. Panic began to take over, but she reined it in just as she'd been trained.
"Agent Lisbon," a maniacal male voice said. "You're awake. I was starting to worry I'd overdosed you."
"What?" Her throat constricted when she spoke. She swallowed and tried again. "Who are you?"
"You can't see me?"
She could hear the man moving around, but everything was still too blurry to see. "I have overdosed you." He sounded disappointed. "How will I have my fun with you and Mr. Jane if you're not conscious enough…"
She thought back to her fight with Jane, to when she stormed off to her car when it came back to her—she'd been tasered. She could still feel the electricity shooting through her body. She'd fallen to the pavement and watched helplessly as a fist slammed into her face.
She knew she should fight, that she was in grave danger, but she was just too tired. Her lids were heavy and despite her efforts to keep them open, they slowly shut, blocking out the light, trying to rid her of consciousness yet again.
"Lisbon," a gentle female voice called out to her. "Can you see me?"
She forced her eyes open with everything she had in her, gasping at the effort. She could faintly hear a male voice talking to her somewhere in the back of her consciousness, and could feel course hands on her face, stroking it, but she ignored him. She looked around trying to close in on the female voice and blinked when a woman with pale, radiant skin, hazel eyes, and caramel colored hair came into view.
"You see me," the woman sighed. "That will make this much easier."
Lisbon cleared her throat. "Make what easier? What's happening?"
"I don't have much time," the woman said. "You have to tell me what to do?"
Lisbon's eyes drooped, but she forced them open again. "Tell you what to do?"
"Yes. How can I get you out of here?" The woman began ringing her hands. "What do you need?"
Lisbon's mind raced.
"Please, you have to hurry," her voice was becoming more anxious by the second.
Lisbon thought through her options. There was no way she'd be able to get out of here by herself, not while she was drugged. She needed help. She could feel her mouth open, could feel her lips starting to form the word "Jane," but she stopped herself from saying it out loud.
The woman smiled and the light around her increased tenfold. "I was hoping you'd say that."
"I didn't say anything."
"I'll get him here," the woman said.
"Get who here? Who are you?" she sounded panicked even to her own ears.
The woman smiled. "I'm someone who knows how much you care about him, and who knows how much he cares about you." The woman's eyes brimmed with tears. "He couldn't save me and it was almost the death of him, if he lost you too…"
Lisbon blinked with a sudden realization. "Angela?" Panic built in her core. "No, don't bring him here," she yelled, but the woman disappeared before she'd gotten it out.
A sleazy looking man, lanky body, greasy brown hair, wearing a medical mask appeared in front of her. "Mr. Jane? I won't bring him here. It'll be much more fun to send you to him, one piece at a time."
She could feel her arm getting cold; the drugs were taking her down again. She tried to fight it, but it was too much, too strong.
Her eyes closed against her will and just before she lost consciousness she heard the man speak once more, "Welcome to the fun house."
A/N: Reviews are always appreciated. Also, for those of you who have been reading Post Red, the last chapter is now up. It has a different picture with it now, of Jane and Lisbon and Jane and Lisbon and Walter, if you were looking for it, but unable to find it. The picture was made for me by the lovely Phoenixx2812.