Drunk and Disorderly.
Remus heard the all too-familiar roar of a motorbike engine as it made its way down his street and, undoubtedly, made its way to him. He groaned. And died a little inside. For there was only one motor-bike engine that sounded that obtuse and goddamn annoying and where that motorbike went, Sirius Black tended to follow.
And Sirius Black was not a good thing. Even during the day, Sirius Black wasn't something you wanted turning up on your doorstep. But at eleven o'clock at night... at eleven o'clock at night it spelt out NIGHTMARE in bold, capital letters that were a lurid fluorescent yellow.
The motorbike stopped and Remus chanced a glance outside his kitchen window. And sure enough, there he was, encased in black leather and looking extremely hot - the death-trap also known as Sirius Black.
Remus' left eye started twitching. Something up there hated him. He got to his feet, discarded his half-eaten toast in the bin –appetite long gone - and started pacing, waiting for the inevitable braying on his door-
BANG! BANG! BANG! Tap! Tap!
Ah- there. Swallowing several times and trying to steel himself for the torment that was sure to follow, Remus left the sanctity of his kitchen (he briefly contemplated ignoring the knocking but then remembering his living room window was open and was reminded of the last time he'd tried that) and hesitantly opening the door.
The stench of booze hit him immediately. Then Sirius' ominous swaying. His heart sank that little bit more. A drunk Sirius Black at eleven o'clock meant he wouldn't be sleeping for at least another four hours. "Black," he said curtly, gripping the door tightly, "What can I do for you?"
Sirius stared at him for a few seconds, looking adorably confused – as though he had no idea where he was – before he promptly bent over and threw up all over Remus' freshly washed welcoming mat.
And Remus' slippers.
Remus winced.
Sirius straightened back up, spotted Remus seemingly for the first time and threw himself at him, successfully rugby-tackling him to the floor and just narrowly missing the sick as they landed with a great deal of pain on Remus' side. Remus kicked the door shut with some effort whilst fending off Sirius whom, thinking he was Padfoot - at least, Remus hoped Sirius thought he was Padfoot – was trying to lick his face. Remus quickly cleaned the sick up with his wand when Sirius' foot landed dangerously close to it.
After managing to push Sirius off him, Remus got to his feet using the wall as a support and somehow dragged himself into the kitchen, trembling. Fumbling through a particular cupboard, he managed to tug out a bottle of well-hidden Firewhiskey and took a good, long drought to try and stop his shaking.
Once his throat screamed with the burning sensation and he'd quelled at least one of the butterflies in his stomach, he put the bottle back and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. Taking a deep breath, he turned round to face the horror currently leaning on his rickety old kitchen table and causing it to tip rather alarmingly.
"So, Sirius," he heard himself say, "What can I do for you at this – er - " the smile on his face faltered, "- lovely time of night."
Sirius scratched his cheek rather absentmindedly and then declared, "I've fallen out with Melissa!" He threw his arms back and upset that oh so pretty vase his mother had bought him for Christmas last last year.
"Oh."
Sirius continued talking in his overly loud voice, "She thinks I'm gay."
"Oh," Remus squeaked.
"In fact," Sirius leant over the table, sending Remus' earlier cup of tea crashing to the floor, "I think I might be gay!"
Remus shut his eyes, praying to God – or whoever was listening, really – to help him deal with the animagus and his funny turns – and that slight hint of hope Remus was not feeling at the moment.
"That's nice," Remus said in a faint sort of way, "But why are you here?"
Sirius looked all confused for a second before a bright, happy grin exploded its way onto his face. "Because – because I need you to help me figure out if I am!"
This story will seven chapters long and each chapter is pretty short. I had a plot-bunny at four o'clock one morning. This is the result xD
Trust me, it has a few twists ^^
Well, I'm off to Africa tomorrow so I thought I'd post some stuff which is clogging up my laptop before I go. I did want to post some fluff but I don't have any on here /cry/ It's all on the other laptop!
'-._.-'-._Review_.-'-._.-'