ok everyone, this should be an exciting story with lots of laughter & tears, drama, mystery, sex, drugs, rock n roll, and a surprise twist at the end that no one saw coming.

so please read and review! i hope you like it :

chapter one

welcome back to school

Ron Weasley was very worried about his friend Harry. Ever since Harry had found all but one horcrux, hed been going crazy. Ron thought he was obsessed with getting the first 5, but after that, Harry REALLY went off the deep end. He hadn't slept in a week, he barely ate, he spent all his time locked up in a room muttering and pacing, and he had bald patches on his head from tearing out his hair. Ron knew what the solution was.

"You need to get laid, mate."

"...number four was..no, that was three... but maybe i missed? no, no, impossible..."

"Harry, are you even listening? I'm taking you out tonight. we are going to get so piss ass drunk we will forget our names, and then we'll conjure up a couple hookers."

Harry went on as if he hadnt heard a thing Ron said.

"That does it, Harry. this is for your own good. STUPIFY!" Harry keeled right over, snoring soundly.

When Harry came to, he couldnt figure out where he was. His first thought was that Voldemort had gotten him. He immeadiatly grabbed for his wand. It wasnt in his pocket. His pocket wasnt even there. Harry shivered as he realized he was completely naked.

"VOLDEMORT!" he yelled, "YOUR A SICK, SICK MAN. COME OUT AND FIGHT ME!" then, as an afterthought, he added, "AND WHERE ARE MY PANTS?"

"Harry!" Harry recognized Ron's voice.

"RON! Voldemort's got you too? where are we?"

"Harry, Voldemorts not here. your in Ginny's room." Harry blushed and looked around frantically, wishing he had his glasses.

"Is... uh, is she... in here?"

"No, shes out with Hermione. That's what people do on a saturday night, they go out. As in, leave their bedroom."

"Other people do not have the burden I do, Ron."

"...you got THAT right..."

"What?"

"I said, it couldnt hurt anything to go out one night. We'll be careful. we'll bring the invisibility cloak incase we need a quick get away."

"Ron, I cant! Voldemort isnt taking a break and neither can I!"

"well, all right, mate, but your naked and chained to a bed, and that's not going to change unless you agree to go out with me tonight."

secretly, Harry longed for a night out with his friends. He really could use a break. But he didn't want the order of the pheonix to think he was goofing around while Dumbledores body was rotting in the ground because of him.

"...ALL RIGHT FINE!"

OK so, im sorry its short and not very funny. the next chapter should make up for that. O