A/N: Hi, back again with another little Sasusaku drabble. I'm definitely excited to pick this account back up and post all my shitty 2 am tea-fueled writing on here. I do hope you enjoy, and remember to leave your feedback. Still love them reviews.
Note: this was written 2 years ago for ssmonth15 on Tumblr. I will get to posting all my new shitty writing here as well eventually, as I'm currently working on quite a few. Keep your eyes peeled.
Disclaimer: Neji is dead. So yeah, definitely don't own Naruto.
-x-
Looking up at the night sky gives Sasuke a strange sort of peace he can't quite find anywhere else. He'd never admit it to anyone - least of all to himself, but stargazing has become his favorite pastime; his favorite way to lose himself.
Tonight is no different - as soon as the sun bids them farewell, Team Taka camps out beneath a canopy of trees, surrounded by the lush shrubbery. The fire is roaring down on the ground and Sasuke, perched on a branch high above them, can hear Karin and Suigetsu bickering in hushed voices while Juugo sits in silence, only interjecting mildly once in awhile, when the arguing starts getting loud.
He's decided to take the duty of surveillance tonight for selfish reasons he can't even admit to himself.
Looking at the trajectory of the moon and deducing the amount of hours it's been since sunset, he decides it's right around 1:30 am, give or take a few minutes.
"Goodnight, Sasuke-kun!" His red-headed female teammate says from below in a hushed tone. Sasuke ignores the remark and continues his steady vigilance, eyes trained in the shadows.
About half an hour later, his eyes drop to the camp, and sure enough, his team is settled in their respective sleeping bags, snoring away. Satisfied, he looks back up, past the protective barrier the leaves on the branches above his head produce, and out into the night.
Sasuke had, long ago, thought his favorite time of day was daybreak, when the slow-rising sun would be his only companion as he trained long and hard, honing his skills - and to some extent, it's true that he still holds a reverence for it; but now, as he looks at the sky, he's not so sure he can show a preference for the early hours anymore.
It's a clear night, for the most part; a few clouds linger here and there, but it doesn't deter from the beauty of the stars in contrast to the velvety black of the sky.
A cool breeze blows his bangs out of his eyes and melancholy settles in his chest all the way to his gut.
It's just like that night.
It's nearing autumn, his favorite season (aside from spring, but no one will ever get him to admit that), but more importantly, it's nearing three years since he deserted them. Since he became a traitor. Since he was sincerely told he was loved for the first time in 6 years.
His quiet, contemplative sigh is almost lost in the wind. Sasuke hates thinking about that night nearly 3 years ago; tonight, however, with the moon and the stars shining brightly above him, he can't help but indulge in neglected, sentimental tomfoolery.
So he takes a journey down memory lane. The stars mark his way back to a place he once called home, glinting a lively bright green for a fraction of a second before they go back to their normal silvery glow. He shouldn't be surprised, really, that his overworked mind has started to project his long-buried longing for her. The heavens showing him visions of her eyes when he's so unguarded should be uncalled for - but it's not.
Pushing the feeling of regret back down his throat, he looks in the general direction of the Land of Fire and tells himself it doesn't matter; she doesn't need him, and he certainly doesn't need her.
The latter is, of course, a bitter lie he's fed himself since their early genin days, when things were easier, lighter, happier. When time was of the essence - when he had zeroed every last bit of ambition, effort, hate and despair into his own personal mission.
Annoyed at the sheer thought, he frowns to himself, his eyes still on the cosmos. How can he hope to destroy his brother and avenge the name of his fallen clansmen if he can't even rid his mind of her?
Her, whose eyes glint at him in the late hours of the night. Her, whose soft, faint laugh he thinks he hears sometimes when the wind blows. Her, whose smile Karin, or anyone, could never match. Her, who claimed his soul long ago.
And how is it that his defenses have fallen this low? Low enough to remember the exact shade of coral her hair glinted when hit by the sunlight just right, or the fondness lacing the tone of her voice when she said his name, or the feel of her skinny arms holding him back from himself, from the darkness–
How is it that Sasuke Uchiha finds himself thinking about Sakura Haruno at 2 in the morning? How is it he feels something akin to dread in his chest as he reminds himself that she's just another enemy standing in his way now? How is it his brain keeps telling that tiny voice deep within the depths of his wilted, broken heart to shut up, to stop hoping, because there's no way she's still out there searching, chasing after him–
Except there is.
He sighs again, audibly this time, and rests his head back on the hard, sturdy wood of the tree trunk he's reclining against. His onyx eyes flutter closed for a second as he pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index fingers.
Enough distractions.
He can't allow these thoughts again; he can't allow her to haunt him anymore, no matter how much he secretly enjoys indulging in the memories of a girl he once knew.