You will never forget. Silence will always surround this memory, on a pedestal of it's own. Never mind the faint sound of the automatic door opening, the slight sound of her boots on the carpeted floor. You don't feel her hands on your shoulders; her tear streaked face says it all. The world falls away around you until you're left standing alone in the resounding emptiness that is too crowded to bear. There is nothing left, nothing, and yet it's all to much, too suffocating, too heavy.
You weren't good enough. You deserve this. You should have been there with him. You could have stopped this from happening. You didn't love him enough. You could have saved him. He could still be here.
You hide alone in a void that cannot ever be filled again. Your body betrays you as you drop to your knees and warm tears streak your face.
To never hear his voice again, to never feel his touch. His blue eyes will never shine again and that cocky grin will never get its way into your heart again. The faint scent of vanilla will fade from your pillow over time, and nobody ever looked so beautiful in that gold shirt. You will never see the look of fascination he always had on his face when you let him touch your pointed ears.
Nobody has the right to sit in that chair ever again. It is his, and always will be. Memories will always linger with this ship, they will always be there, without him.
You can't bring yourself to see him one last time. You refuse to see his limp body or touch his cold hand. You cannot face that he will never wake from this slumber.
There will never be a more deafening silence as the one that came from the announcement. They said they felt your pain, but they cannot. They will never feel this empty. They will never experience this silence. They can never miss the way his body fit so perfectly against your own or the beautiful curve of his hipbone. They will never remember the faint sound of him wheezing as he slept. They cannot understand. They cannot feel what you feel.
People hold your shoulder gently and offer small smiles and hugs, but you will never feel any of it. You will forever walk through a hollow dream that they cannot see. They will never know the deepest desires of his heart and if you tell them, they will forget. They can never help you carry this burden.
There is no way to change what has happened. You cannot bring him back. You cannot go back and say goodbye to him, you cannot show the emotions to him that you always felt but could not reveal.
He is gone and has left you behind.
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Hope you all liked. I might write a companion to this, only because I'm not a fan of second person and its not was I was originally gonna write it like. Os maybe I'll do it form another's point of view. Let me know if you're interested.