Rating: T

Humor/Parody

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, but since this Nyota is a self-insert, she's mine.

Because Spock/Uhura shippers are accused of 'self-insertion' in Nyota's case, a bunch of us decided to have fun with that by really writing ourselves in for Nyota. I totally loved 'Irrestible' by StarTrekFanWriter.

This one is me as Nyota...

Get Real

Nyota rolled her eyes. "No."

"Come on, I've seen the way you look at him in class." Gaila prodded in a sing-song voice.

"Yeah. He's tall, dark, handsome and insanely smart. Not like I'm not going to notice him."

"So? What's holding you back?"

"He's a Vulcan, Gaila."

"I've heard he's half-human." She grinned suggestively.

"Maybe, but he's chosen to be Vulcan."

"They have to have sex, right?" Gaila lifted her eyebrows. "I mean, there are baby Vulcans."

"Gaila, get real."

"I am completely real - except for the boys I haven't done yet. To them, I'm just a tantalizing fantasy." She smiled lasciviously. "Like the Commander."

Nyota rolled her eyes. Again. "It's not like I haven't fantasized about getting into his pants, but acting on it would be a huge mistake."

"It's only a mistake if he turns out not to be huge!" Gaila teased.

Nyota threw a pillow at her. "Get serious."

"I'm Orion." She tossed her red curls. "When we're talking about sex, I'm always serious."

"Well, Vulcans are too serious - seriously monogamous. A fling with him is not a option." Nyota pinned her roommate with a stare. "And I mean, overly logical and emotional unavailable? I need a serious relationship featuring those qualities like I need a hole in the head."

Gaila frowned. "Well, if I can't get you to act on your fantasies with the Commander, who would be a real option?"

"There was that funny Scottish guy with the sexy brogue... " Nyota sighed. "But I heard he got into some kind of trouble and Adm. Archer assigned him to a tour on this isolated ice world."

"Hey, look on the bright side." Gaila said, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "When he gets back, just imagine how horny he'll be!"

"Oooo, very true." Nyota grinned. "In the meantime, there's this Asian guy on the fencing team..."

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AN: Nu Scotty is not physically as sexy as Quinto!Spock, but I am a total sucker for a lively sense of humor and a gorgeous brogue. And I think original and nu Sulu were pretty sexy in their fencing scenes.