A/N: After watching "A Death Foretold" the other day, this little idea wouldn't leave me alone. It might be a little but OOC but it's how I interpreted some of what was going on (and some of Jackie's guilt over Brian). Hope you enjoy anyway :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Unfair
"Do you have anyone to talk to about this?"
What a stupid question.
No, she didn't have anyone to talk to because the one person who she could have told anything, the one person she would have trusted...was gone.
And had been for some time.
She felt guilty sitting by Brian's bedside and thinking about another man, but she couldn't help it. Times like this, times when she felt stressed or alone, were the times when she missed Michael the most. Missed his quiet strength and gentle support, missed his friendship...missed...him.
Not to mention it all seemed so unbelievably unfair.
It was unfair that Brian was dying of cancer, it was unfair that he had made her promise not to tell anyone, which meant she could get no relief.
But mostly it was unfair that Michael wasn't there with her and it was unfair that she would be getting closure for Brian's death but not for his.
Never for his.
Oh no, Michael's death would always seem like a bad dream.
She would forever be waking up and thinking that she'd somehow see him again, only to have the truth come crashing down on her.
Not to mention the guilt.
Guilt that she hadn't gotten his final phone call, guilt that he had to die alone – she should have been there! He was her best friend and she'd promised herself that she would always be there for him, always. But when it really mattered...when he had really needed her, she'd let him down.
She hadn't even known he was dead.
Brian stirred and she went to attend to him, comforting him as she had been unable to comfort Michael, holding his hand as they talked of better times.
She felt tears form in her eyes as she realised that Brian was dead.
Tears for him.
Tears for herself.
But mostly tears for Michael.
It was so unfair.