DAMNED IN BLUE (THE DARK AWAKENING)
Cold Blue, she says.
That I am cold, pale blue…
That my eyes are colder than the morning frost that glistens upon the winter darkened earth, my gaze like sharp blue razorblades across her skin, caressing and carving a bleeding kiss over every inch of her.
Cold Blue, she says…
A pale blue void…
My devil eyes…
Bluer than my brother's…
……………
Devils do not cry, and devils do not love.
But I do cry and I do feel love; and it is the sharpest pain and the sublimest rapture devils or mortals could ever attain.
Lady.
Her tears are the sweetest wine upon my tongue as I hold her fast to me, my face buried in her hair, my arms clamped around her slender waist, my fingertips digging into the soft, smooth flesh of her bare back, clutching her tightly; afraid she might vanish any moment like an elusive fey.
Every inch of my skin is pressed into hers, desperately seeking her in every way possible. But she is limp in my arms, paralyzed by my devil's embrace; a broken marionette desecrated by my touch, tainted by my love.
There is only silence upon those blood-tinted lips, and only a faded, hollow echo of her spirit in those huge, glass-like eyes as they recoil from my adoring gaze and focus into nothingness. Her eyes are tainted by the palest hue of agony ever suffered by humankind, and it's a sight most divine.
I am Hades condemned in her Persephone tears, descending in crystal revulsion and terror.
I wanted to conquer the warrior within her and bring her to her knees in complete submission, caress her with all the sensual cruelty unique to devils, and plunder the sweet secret Eden locked inside her.
I never wanted to hurt her…
……………….
She burns.
Her ferocious blazing fire engulfs my every thought and punishes my flesh with her fervent beauty.
I easily overpower her in my devil-skin; her defiant screams only enhance the sweet anticipation of enslaving her to me; flesh and psyche; body and soul.
I want both, I want all of her, I want to gorge myself on her sweet innocence and rip it to shreds, until she is quavering beneath me and tightly around me, holding me deep inside of her.
I watch her in blind idolatry, like some ethereal goddess unattainable by mortals and devils, untarnished by temporal vices.
So human, so frail, and so finite she is, and I cherish every single moment of her closeness. Her skin is fair snow and soft silk, but it shivers at my touch, and I wonder at the look of untold horror and disgust and suffering that suddenly glisten in her huge eyes, glowing fiercely in loathing.
I don't know what to do except hold her even closer to me, bind her to me.
My fingers entangle in her jet-streaked hair, my lips seeking hers for a ravenous kiss to seal her breath with mine.
I tear her and run her through with my infinite greed and lust, and descend into her dark, warm depths like flowing river of honey and fire, seeking her innermost core that convulses and grips me with velvet chains.
The intense bliss drives me to the edge of raging madness, and I drink deeply from the overflowing well of her…
Becoming forever hers.
Becoming god…
………………..
Angels, ignorant in their virtue, could not hope to know of exquisite rapture such as the one I experienced when I possess her utterly, without any mortal inhibition and restraint that the Celestial Father had ordained; his seraphic tyranny exceeding that of the Devil King's.
As we coalesce upon ensanguined sheets of sullied innocence, my Lady and I, she opens her mouth on a final protest, perhaps to scream her fury and sadness.
My lips tremble open slightly parted, eager to inhale the sweet breath that passes her small, virgin mouth into mine.
I want to capture each tiny bead of sweat that trickles gently between her ivory breasts, and I long to kiss away each precious tear that spills down her cheeks in a tremulous flow.
She is cruel, she doesn't know how she breaks me, unravels me so…
It's not my embrace she seeks, not at all; she wants him, and I know…
Same blue eyes, but different shades, she said once; and now I understand what she meant.
Humankind and Devil-kind, we both covet that which we cannot obtain, and forever in restless, seething passion we are driven to achieve our desires, or we simply give up and seek our depraved pleasures elsewhere.
For her, it was my brother, and for me, it is her.
We both wanted the same woman, and though her name was never once mentioned between us, I immediately recognized the intense surge of sensual dynamic that surrounded them both when his blade clashed with her guns.
They knew this too, but as always, he was much too proud to admit such base attraction and acknowledge the passionate side of himself, while she was too absorbed in her own desire for vengeance to clearly perceive the subtle patterns of blossoming passion.
I hate him for that.
I hate my brother; he who is the master of her heart.
He should never have left us.
He should never have left her to me…
But I have her at last; she belongs to me in her perfect hatred and perfect submission.
Fools we are both, my brother and I, drunk with passion and defeated in love…
And I triumph where he failed; I conquered her paradise and gilded it with hellfire...
………………
Heedless of the screaming of my tattered conscience, I descend into the pits of darkest depravity, dragging her with me into the chasm of uninhibited passions. Fear is drawn taut across her beautiful face, darkening her doll-like, turbulent eyes.
Vile are my desires; unrestrained and growing more violent the more I try to suppress it all.
Enthralled I am, by the tiny moans of pain that my merciless kisses elicit from her bruised lips. Enslaved I am, by the angelic tapestry of her naked body riddled with rivulets of vivid scarlet.
My rage is monumental, shattering us both as I drive myself to the farthest depths of her luminous centre. The dissonance of her tears and my heart's lament echoes all around me, condemning me. The Devil takes me over, riding my body with a dreadful frenzy that enfolds us with its torn, ruined dark wings.
We are one now...
……………….
I touch my lips to her tears, slowly rolling down one damp, pale cheek dewed with salty sweat and the bitter milk of my emission, and I breathe in the scent of her skin, basking in the perfectly flawed essence of her mortality.
The tenuous strands of my humanity begin to snap one by one as I weep against the ivory curve of her neck, drenching her with my hot, bitter tears that cling to her like a vile curse.
I can not undo my sins, and I can not seek forgiveness. Devils can not attain absolution, and I know I shall forever suffer for my transgression.
I only wish I could restore the spark of fire and zeal back into her spirit, but I am a devil, and as a devil must, I can only douse the embers of her dignity and pride, destroy the beauty and purity and violate virtue in its most pristine form.
But love born of hate is a doomed thing, as the poet said…
It is too late now, and I am dead to her.
…………………
Cold Blue, she says.
That I am cold, pale blue.
That my eyes are colder than wintry death, benumbed in measureless cruelty.
Cold Blue, she says…
A pale blue void…Unfettered…
That grips all other colours in a crushing, suffocating, false tenderness, staining all that fills my vision…
Her white radiance seems to fade and disappear…
Crimson is dead in me, bleeding no more humanity…
My devil eyes…
Blinded forever in Blue Deviltry…
…………
-THE END-