James watched the anticipation grip her, struggling to suppress the hopeful feeling that had begun to creep over him throughout the course of the week. She was surrounded by walls of white, stark and bare that made the various smiling photographs seem to pop off of them, and she gripped the hand she held, his hand, harder; impatience bubbling in her mind as he leg bounced up and down.
He grasped her other wrist, which she had unknowingly brought to her face, and pulled it down to her lap.
"Lily, stop. You're driving me mad."
Lily tsked him off after glancing at her husband, red hair glinting in the unnatural light that flooded the medical room as she shook her head and glanced the other way. Her fingers returned to her mouth, facing the wrath of her vicious teeth as she rested her elbow on her knees. Her head bobbed up and down, creating ripples in her bone straight hair as she continued to tap her toes.
James sighed, adjusting his glasses as he squeezed her hand, she was so impatient!
"Lily dear?" He crooned and she glanced over at him, face softening as she saw the worried expression he wore.
"Oh James, you know I can't..." She trialed off, a pleading look in her eyes before she turned away from him again.
The truth was that he did know she couldn't, that if it hadn't been for the years of practice he had when it came to self control (He did chase after the same girl for six straight years, if that's not patience he didn't know what was) he would be just as anxious, worried, hyperactive, and feisty as she was. Of course he knew she couldn't, it was Lily after all. Her red hair was just as symbolic as his animagus. Not only was it dashingly radiant, but it also warned those to what temper she harbored.
And yet, even with his training, he yearned to know the verdict, had his mind set on that moment where he and his wife would know. He, of course, knew that there was no use in worrying over it yet, no use in wasting his much needed energy in harping over something that wasn't sure to happen.
She couldn't be pregnant.
This couldn't be happening; they didn't have the time, the resources, or the safety!
Sure, they had always had the unspoken desire to have a child, but they both knew that to even speak of a baby in this war was ridiculous. They once even found it humorous, mocking Lily's folks' sneaking, indirect comments about how they wished they were grandparents, or how their "grandbaby is going to be so gorgeous…" It had once brought a smile to each of their faces, connected them in shared exasperation and humor.
There was no humor in their situation right now, none at all, and as James watched his wife he couldn't help but wonder if there was anything they could do to….
No, he turned away from his wife, hiding the disgust on his face. How could he even think that? There was no way that, if Lily were pregnant, they could possibly go through with killing an unborn child. He knew there was magic, and that knowledge was poison. He turned from those thoughts immediately; he could never do it. He couldn't kill a baby, their baby.
A rush of excitement and pride swept over him when he thought those words. He couldn't even think about it without automatically rushing into the future where he could see his daughter catch her first quaffle or his watch his son leave on the Hogwarts Express. He was smiling, probably in that wide, mischievous way that always earned him a warning glance from his wife, and couldn't make himself stop.
The doorknob spun and Lily sat up in a snap, alert for whatever may come through that door. Impatience and mad excitement coursed through James as the doctor came back into the room, clipboard by his side and wand tucked safely in his right chest pocket.
"Ah, yes. The Potters" He smiled sweetly, softly pulling his wand from his pocket. "I believe you went to school with my Dorcas, shared a room and everything if I remember correctly."
Lily smiled briefly, the light behind her eyes flashing in what he comprehended as impatience before she politely replied. "Oh yes, Cass! How is she?"
James was confused. They had just seen Cass two nights ago at the Order meeting, why would Lily ask how she was?
"She's going just fine, her job at the ministry might be keeping her put later than I feel comfortable with, but," as he sighed James understood. Healer Meadows didn't know of his daughter's actions with the Order. "We're not here to talk about the worries of an old father." The worry lines melted from the Healer's face. "We're here to figure out if there's a possible new one."
"So you're wondering if there's a little Potter on the way," He smiled warmly at them before glancing down at his chart. Lily looked as if she was about to burst with impatience, eyes searing into the top of his head as he adjusted his glasses carefully. It was almost comical, how relaxed he was, while James himself felt just as nervous as he had before proposing and Lily looked as if she would tear apart anything she could get her hands on.
He carefully placed a hand on her shoulder, gazing into her emerald eyes as she turned her face up to look at them. "Lils, We'll know soon enough. If you are…." He swallowed, unable to accept the idea enough to speak the word out loud. "The stress can't be good for it." He swallowed the worry in his tone, his mouth dry with anticipation. He did get a warning glance this time, swift daggers his way that only made his smile widen. God he hoped it was a ….what was he saying?
"James is right, you know." Healer Meadows chuckled as he stood straight, holding a jar of potion up to them as he did so.
"So, first I will have to apply this to your stomach." Lily complied, lifting her robes up without shame. James felt a tinge of jealousy as the Healer began to apply the salve to her skin. It was a reaction he couldn't control. He still hadn't got used to the fact that he didn't have to fight for her any longer. He grinned even wider and she shot him another glance. This smile held the knowledge of their many nights together in it, and Lily obviously didn't want him to expose any of that, but he could tell that, just for a moment, her pulse had quickened. She rolled her eyes as he winked, knowing that victory was his.
"Right," The healer said as he was finished, wiping the impish smile from his face as he did so. Where he was and what he was doing had suddenly crashed back into him now that he wasn't looking at his wife's skin. "Now it's just some simple wand work..," He dug his short, ashy, wand from his pocket as he said so, "And then we'll know."
Healer Meadows had obviously done this many times, because his wand movements went by so quickly that James couldn't have tracked them if his life depended on it. An opaque stream of light slowly cascaded from his wand, appearing liquid in nature, and flecks of color gleamed in the florescent light. James had never seen such an array of colors, and every single one seems to be present in every infinitesimal spec. It didn't sink into Lily's stomach, but pooled over the area where the potion had been spread, gathering serenely to mask her body before gently oozing evenly across her stomach.
Lily panted; obviously disoriented as they silence grew in the room. James took her hand again, mouth hanging open unceremoniously as he stared, transfixed, at where the spell had gathered.
"It may take some-"
Healer Meadows was interrupted by Lily's gasp as a golden ribbon began to curl upwards from her belly button, the soft, steady beat of a heart filled the silence.
"I take it that's a yes?" James whispered in awe as it twisted itself free and began to stretch in the air. It split and multiplied, curving into the shape of a lion before them.
"Ha! They're a Gryffindor!" James yelled triumphantly, pointing at the golden beast that had begun to stalk back and forth above the couple. Lily closed her mouth, eyesbrows creased as they always did when she was working through things. James had forgotten about his worries, proud as any father would be to see that their child would grow to become...to become what? Truth be told. James had no idea, but the fact that they would have a child, that they would watching it grow into a human being, a miniature of themselves, overwhelmed any sense of worry he'd had earlier. He was going to be a father!
"No, Mr. Potter" Meadows said blandly as he looked over a chart. "That is your child's astrological sign. They're a Leo which means…." There was a pause as he skimmed through the chart again, "That our Lily here is three months along."
Before the words could sink in the ribbons unfurled from the lion and began to take shape again, this time turning into the male symbol. Lily's eyes flushed with tears as James mimicked her, the air whooshing from his lungs.
"James…. We're going to have a son."
He turned to her, rushing into her arms and kissing the tears of joy from her face as the golden ribbon glittered above them. Happiness filled him, warming his soul and mind as his wife clutched onto him. Any thought of worry or woe could come later, for this moment was magic, real, pure magic, the likes of which he had never known existed.
He was going to be a father.