OKay, Imma try and get this shit wrote. My friend asked me to try and do this challenge. A Naruto story, this'll prolly be a two or three-shot, that centered around the term "This is a motherfucking invitation". So lets get it on! P.S. First chap'll prolly be short, embarrassingly so.
WHY DO I KEEP FORGETTING THE DISCLAIMER!? AND WHY WON'T ANYONE REMIND ME THAT I DON'T OWN NARUTO!?
"Feh, can't believe it. Treats me like, pfft. Rrrgh." Grumbled a thoroughly disgruntled Kiba ridding his faithful steed...er...dog, rather, Akamaru. The Inuzuka could only huff in utter annoyance and embarrassment while his sister followed closely giggling at all the sounds he was making. The cause of his sour disposition was because of the satchel of cards at his side and the request of his mother. "She thinks I'm still a pup, I'm an eighteen-year-old NINJA for Christ's sake!" He complained quite animatedly, grinding his fist into his open palm possibly breaking a few bones.
"You're not eighteen yet, Otoutou. You still have a few days to go." Hana, the flower of the Inuzuka clan and Kiba's beautiful older sister, corrected. Kiba could just cross his arms, snort, and turn his head. Hana giggled some more, this opportunity was absofrickenlutely perfect.
"Why are you even following me? You hardly even know most of my friends." Kiba asked only opening his right eye, so that he could see his sister's response.
"Because its not everyday your sweet, wittle bwover gwows up is it?" She asked batting her eyelashes, unleashing her puppy eyes( a skill all Inuzuka women have perfected to an art form by the way.) and performing an utterly annoying baby talk voice. "Besides, it will be priceless when they see them." she laughed out gesturing to the bag on her brother's hip.
Kiba could only pull his hood over his face while blushing in embarrassment; he could swear the Akamaru was laughing at him. This of course caused Hana to give the giant pooch a treat, an ear scratch, and a "Good boy"; to which the incredible canine only wagged his tail while barking in approval. 'You goddamned backstabber' thought Kiba with a snarl. It was by this time that they reached their meeting place, the Ichiraku Ramen Restaurant. 'With Naruto as their best customer it's a wonder why they didn't upgrade sooner.' Entering the house ramen built, the three Inuzukas were met with greeting from all those current this included:
"H-hello Kiba-kun, Hana-san, Akamaru-kun." Hinata stuttered out managing to pivot herself to face them while sitting in a booth by the door.
"Kiba. Hana-san. Akamaru." Shino monotonously spoke from next to Hinata.
"Good afternoon." Neji said without opening his eyes (show off).
"Hey Kiba! Hey...Kiba's sister. Hay pooch." Tenten happily greeted from her chair.
"Good to see you Kiba, Hana, and of course Akamaru." Kurenai said as she turned away from talking to Gai and Kakashi to meet them.
"AHH, KIBA-KUN, HANA-SAN, DOGGY-SAN! IT IS VERY YOUTHFUL OF YOU TO APPEAR RIGHT ON TIME!" Lee, enthusiastically, screamed.
Gai said the exact same thing as Lee resulting in hugging.
"Yo." Kakashi said, nose buried deeply into Itcha Itcha: Orgasmic Explosion (Jiraiya had run out of good names).
"Hello." Shizune said with a wave while holding Tonton with her other arm; said pig oinked in greeting.
"Hey you guys." Sakura chirped from her seat next to Sasuke.
"Hn. Dog-dobe, Dog, Dog-dobe's sister." Sasuke "greeted" at his seat on the bar stool.
"It's nice to finally see you three again." Iruka said with a smile.
"Hello." Sai managed to squeeze in.
"It'd be too troublesome to greet all of you individually." Shikamaru lazily called from his seat in the booth with his best friend.
"Mmggmffmshism." Chouji said, already enjoying a steamy boll of ramen, or two, or twenty.
"Chouji! Don't talk with your mouthful! Hey you three!" Ino said punching the glutton in the back of his ramen filled head. And of course Naruto screamed, "…"
Wait. "Where the hell is Naruto? Knowing him he should have been here first." Kiba asked. As an all out shrug fest was about to begin an orange blur burst in through the front entrance. Hana felt a bit relieved, she had only met Naruto a few times but she had heard a lot about him. She wanted to know if some of the stories were true.
"SON OF A BITCH! That woman's trying to kill me! But no time to worry about it now! Ten miso pork and keep 'em comin' old man! I have a hunger capable of subduing gods!" Naruto shouted out as he managed to stop on a dime in his favorite seat at the bar. Looking around at all the expressions Naruto noticed that all of his friends were present. "Sup."
"Naruto what in god's name was that about?" Sakura asked raising an eyebrow. Naruto swiveled around in his seat to view everyone present.
"What, I have a hunger capable of subduing gods. Is that so hard to understand?" Naruto asked while most people just shook their heads, some sweat dropped, and a few anime fell.
"No, dobe! The woman thing." Sasuke answered and everyone nodded in response.
"Oh that! Well, I'm a Special jounin now right?" At everyone's nod he continued, "Well Anko suggested we try working together so we've been doing," he raised his fingers and performed air quotes as he said "team training". Kakashi's visible eye widen and he dropped his book. He obviously knew what was goin' down.
"You mean, THE Mitarashi ANKO's "team training" Kakashi asked while he grabbed his former student's shoulders.
"Yeah! You know about it?" Naruto asked with a scarred look on his face.
"Know about it!? Every seasoned jounin here knows to avoid "team training" at all costs!" Naruto looked at the two his old sensei had mentioned, Kurenai and Gai, who were just solemnly nodding their heads.
"It was terrible Kakashi-sensei! First she-" Naruto started but was cut off by Kakashi.
"I know and then she usually-" Kakashi began making arm movements.
"Yes! She did but only after-"
"Oh don't remind me!" Kakashi said as he covered his eye.
"And then she bit me!" Naruto shouted.
"She bit you?" Sasuke said raising an eyebrow.
"Eight times!" Naruto said raising his shirt to reveal his well-toned body (Many blushing girls) as well as, truth-be-told, eight bite marks. Hana, being one of the more...animalistic of the women let her eyes linger longer than was probably considered decent.
"Yeah, she'll do that." Kurenai said over her shoulder. Naruto turned back to his ramen that had just been prpared after lowering his shirt and Kiba decided to have some fun before shaming himself.
"Dude, Naruto, Anko is comin' and she's got this funny look on her face." Kiba said.
"OH NO!" Naruto shrieked in a high-pitched voice and in his effort to flee the country managed to slip while holding his bowl of ramen. He landed flat on his back with his arms and legs sprawled out on the floor with the bowl of ramen landing right on his face, right in front of the Inuzuka trio. All present leaned over to inspect the scene when Naruto spoke up in a last ditch effort to save what little was left of his dignity. "Ramen no jutsu." he said without a trace of emotion in his voice. Everyone broke out into laughter, picking himself up while keeping the bowl on his head he managed to eat all the ramen inside without spilling a drop.
"And what, pray tell, does this jutsu do other than prove that you are the biggest idiot...ever." Sasuke asked while Hana was helping Naruto up.
"It lulls my enemies into a false sense of security allowing me to do this." With that said Naruto pulled on Sasuke's hand altering the boy's stance allowing Naruto to deliver a bone shattering kick to the crotch. Needless to say Sasuke was in fetal position central while Naruto continued eating at the bar. Sakura and Ino were shocked; some of the other guys were holding their junk while everyone else laughed their heads off. Sasuke shot up and looked as if he hadn't just had his balls shattered by his best friend.
"Why are we here exactly Dog-dobe?" Sasuke asked leaning back on the bar. Sighing Kiba reached into his bag. Hana became alert while still holding a look of utter satisfaction on her face.
"My mom wants me to give you these." With that he pulled out...cards, cards with cute, little, fluffy puppies…wearing party hats. Handing them to everyone the women found them "Kawaii" while the men fought a losing battle against laughter (Chouji shot ramen out his nostrils...when asked if he still at the noodles he had no comment). When Naruto got his he looked at it and, keeping a straight face (a straight face with noodles hanging out of his mouth) turned to Kiba and asked,
"So you're gay?" That was it, everyone burst into laughs and Kiba's face was redder than Hinata's when Naruto got too close (that's fuckin red by the way). "Why'd you get us cards? Couldn't you have just come out to Sai or something?" Naruto asked, to this day no one is actually sure if he was serious. Stomping up to him Kiba grabbed Naruto's shirt collar and showed him the inside of a card where the words 'You're Invited' were written.
"No, Teme, This is a motherfucking invitation! It's for my birthday party!" Kiba shouted shaking the blonde.
"Whoa! From six PM to question mark, question mark? I dunno Kiba this party sounds a little too bad-ass for me." Naruto said dripping sarcasm. Kakashi got up to leave but not before adding his two-cents.
"Sorry, but pin the tale on the donkey isn't really my thing. Besides Neji cheats so hard at that game." With that said many people got up to leave as well some saying they would stop by.
"Fine but I guess you'll miss the free booze." Kiba said while inspecting his fingernails and leaning against the bar. The poeple leaving stopped and returned to their seats.
"Booze you say? Hmm, I haven't gotten hammered in awhile." To everyone's surprise it was Kurenai who said this.
"Your mom is allowing alcoholic beverages?" Shikamaru asked while gesturing to the 'cutest card EVAR' as said by the women present with his thumb.
"I'm turning eighteen, adulthood in my family. Also, my mom subscribes to the theory of old enough to kill, old enough to drink." Kiba said with his eyes closed, his finger waving, and a smirk planted firmly on his face. All those invited began to find many reasons to attend this party. Some were so that they could 'out drink their eternal rivals'; some to 'get so shit-faced that I can't remember my own name'; or 'If I don't watch him he's going to destroy half of Konoha.'
After setting a time and date the soon to be partygoers left to prepare. The Ickirakus were asked to cater the party, and when they asked why Kiba just threw a thumb in Chouji and Naruto's general direction. Naruto was the last to leave; he had needed to eat all 37 bowls of his ramen. He left with the group from the clan Inuzuka and walked home with them. When Kiba, "politely", asked why the fuck he was following them Naruto said that he had to find out "where the hell you live you bastard." Upon finding and memorizing Kiba's address Naruto began his trek home. "See you later Kiba-teme, Akamaru, Hana." Naruto said while waving good-bye.
"Yeah whatever dobe." Kiba said while his dog merely barked.
"See you Naruto." Hana waved back. After entering their home Kiba went into his room and Hana set herself down at the table. Her mother, Tsume, came in and they began their normal conversation of what happened that day and when Hana was going to find a man and produce grandchildren. Hana answered like she always did and said when she found someone she thought was worthy, none had made themselves known.
"So how did they like the invitations?" Tsume asked while filling a cup of tea.
"Oh, they absolutely loved them." Hana said with a knowing smirk. She got up and went to her room after telling her mother a little more about the restaurant encounter. Tsume laughed as she put the cups away. She then heard a smoke bomb and her daughters voice screaming out "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU KIBA, YOU HEAR ME?! AND I MEAN LIKE, IBIKI KILL YOU!" Kiba was laughing his orange-triangle-marked-head off. Tsume would never understand her kids.
A/N: End of chapter one. Thanks for reading. Also, for my fans who are anxiously awaiting chapter seven of Hawk Eyes: You'll have to wait longer. You see after my flash drive got wiped I started it again. But my computer crapped out on me and had to get reformatted, completely obliterating any and all traces of Chap sev...again. God does not want you guys to read that chapter. So, I'm going to try AGAIN and hopefully nothing too bad will happen. Oh yes someone hacked my account to. Don't worry problem is solved...I hope.