It was Saturday night in post-Apocalyptic Mystic Falls and Caroline Forbes tossed back what must have been her sixth or seventh drink. She had honestly stopped counting. Drunk college kids pushed their way past her and she barely contained the urge to toss them out the front door onto their rude asses. It's a party, she tried to remind herself, relax, have fun. The message wasn't getting through though. Not when Stefan Salvatore was there. All cool calm, statuesque perfection, as was his way.
Her heart had given an extra little flutter as she saw him finally descend the stairs. She'd been waiting, watching the stairs all night. Obviously he'd been trying to avoid the party, probably hoping to lose himself in his journal or a good book. He usually did. But tonight the loud ruckus made it impossible. Surprisingly, the party had been Damon's idea and not Caroline's. She, as well as Bonnie and Stefan, spent most of their time now trying to keep everyone safe from the Heretics, and bringing a bunch of unsuspecting kids to the place that housed Lily's sons didn't seem like the best idea.
Maybe "post-apocalyptic" was a bit of an exaggeration, but sometimes it felt that way. Bonnie had spelled the house to keep those inside safe. However, everyone knew that the Heretics could easily absorb the magic if they wanted to. No one said it though, choosing to live under the blatantly false hope that it would keep them safe. Caroline suspected it was actually Lily's supposedly non-existent feelings for her sons that had kept them safe for the past few months. Whatever it was, they were all okay for now and she wasn't complaining. But the house full of warm blooded co-eds was probably pushing their luck a bit.
Damon wouldn't be deterred however. He had emerged from his depression in a state of mania that rivaled anything she'd ever witnessed. Drunk every night, feeding on a different girl, insistent upon having these ridiculous parties at the risk of everyone involved. But it was his house and his guests and Caroline was honestly too exhausted and bored to put up much of a fight. It wasn't like she had anywhere else to go. Stefan was here and Bonnie was here. They were her family now and she wanted nothing more than to be with them.
So she squeezed into a tight black dress, curled her hair and decided that if you can't beat them...you join them. Another thumping song beginning from the shuffling Ipod on the mantle. Another vodka tonic burning down her throat. Another quick glance over at Stefan, chatting uncharacteristically with a cute little brunette, smiling politely at what, she had to assume, was a painfully unfunny joke the girl was nervously making. Caroline couldn't help but feel a little bad for the girl. She knew firsthand how intimidating it could be trying to charm Stefan Salvatore. But on the other hand, she felt a little twist of something in her stomach that felt a little like jealousy as Brianna, Caroline overheard, ran her hand down Stefan's bicep.
But, he wasn't hers to be jealous of or to watch creepily from across the room, and that was her own fault, so she just tossed back a final drink before making her way to the kitchen for a bag of blood to put a stop to the spinning of her head and the churning of her stomach from all the drinks. When she lifted from the fridge and turned, blood bag in hand, she was startled by Stefan standing next to the counter.
"Jesus!" she exclaimed, slapping a hand across her chest, "You scared me."
Stefan chuckled and took a step toward her. Caroline's body began to hum with activity. Heart giving a little flutter. Head still spinning. Skin warming. Damn him and the effect he had on her. Damn her for still being so stubborn and not just giving in already.
"Sorry," he said, his emerald eyes glittering playfully.
"I forgive you," she said, taking a long draw from the blood bag to calm her dizziness and to have something to do with her hands.
"Having a good time?" he asked, brushing past her to get his own blood bag.
She tried not to be obvious as she smelled him. He smelled like soap and beer and sweet musk and she could taste it in the back of her throat in the most delicious way, feel it in the pit of her stomach. She swallowed hard and licked her lips.
"Yeah, I mean, I guess, sorta," she admitted, watching him as he sipped his bag.
"I know what you mean," he agreed.
"Looks like you were hitting it off with that cute little brunette out there," Caroline said, immediately wishing she hadn't.
Stefan smiled guiltily, "We were just talking," he said, "Well, SHE was just talking."
Caroline smiled, realizing that Stefan was in the same boat as her. They could technically be doing whatever they wanted, as they were both technically single. But what's the point when there's only one person you want. And not for the first time, even today, she questioned what they were waiting for. She had decided pretty much since the moment he told her that he'd wait for her that all she wanted was to be with him. To take comfort in his embrace. But he had offered his patience to her, and she felt the need to accept it. She was long since ready though, just waiting for the right time and the right way to tell him.
Tight little dresses didn't work on Stefan. Big fat curls. Plump pink lips. Sky high heels. Lace thigh highs peeking subtly from the bottom hem of a mini skirt when you lean over juuuuussst enough. None of it worked on Stefan. He was pure gentleman. A knight in shining armor. And she loved the hell out of him for it. But sometimes, it was frustrating. Sometimes she just wanted to get to him. To make him want her so badly that he decided he didn't want to wait anymore. COULDN'T wait anymore. Because that was the effect he had on her, when he was making no effort at all. She looked at his arms in his soft blue t-shirt and mentally smoothed away the place where the girl had touched him. Mine, she thought.
"Not that you can't talk to whoever you want, of course," Caroline said, fidgeting with her dress, smoothing it over her legs.
He finished his blood bag and tossed it in the trash, chasing it with a fresh beer.
"Of course," he echoed, his voice a little more gravely than she was expecting, sending a flash of heat across her skin unexpectedly.
"Well, we should do this again sometime," Caroline joked nervously, flashing Stefan a flirty smile as she turned to re-enter the party.
She froze as she felt his hand close around her wrist. Everything seemed to freeze. She looked down to observe the way his fingers looked curled around her skin, the light white marks it made. She looked up to his face. His eyes burned with a strange intensity, but his smile was light, sweet.
"Dance with me," he whispered against her hair.
Caroline nodded automatically, allowing him to lead her out of the kitchen and through the crowd. He released his grip on her wrist and slid his hand down to hers, interlacing their fingers. The music playing was just as loud and fast as it had been all night. Stefan continued to pull her through the crowd, breaking free of the people and toward the stairs. She looked at him in confusion.
"I'd prefer to dance to something a little...slower," he pulled her close to him to whisper in her ear again. She shivered.
When they got to his room, Caroline watched as he slipped away from her for long enough to place a record on his player. The music began seeping out of the speakers, filling the room with romance. It was something late 50s/early 60s and loungy. Twinkling pianos and soft horns and soulful voices. Slow and classy. The kind of music they play at fancy Italian restaurants when you lazily daydream about dancing with a tall handsome man in a dim room, one who loves you deeply and has vowed himself to you to have him at your own leisure. Lucky her. She tried to picture Stefan back when he would have been listening to this music. Suited and perfectly coiffed and deadly handsome she would imagine. She liked the idea that he had decades of history left to fill her in on.
He smiled and walked back over to her, wrapping one hand around her waist and wrapping the other around her hand. She was glad, in that moment, that she was quickly sobering up because she wanted to savor the feeling of the dance. It was something they'd done many times before. But this felt different. It wasn't about an excuse to talk about whatever evil they were currently fighting, and it wasn't a chance to bitch and moan about whoever had currently broken one of their hearts. It was just about them. Caroline smiled as she relaxed into Stefan's embrace.
"It's been a while," Caroline said, feeling like someone else as she spoke over the strange music and yet more herself than she had in a while.
"Too long," Stefan agreed, spinning her before pulling her back against him.
She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. His hands settled back on her waist, lower now, sliding down to her hips. She looked up at him through her thick black lashes, a satisfied smile on her lips. The enticing, villainous girl in a spy film, she eyed the hero with ill intent. To break through his defenses and force him to break his own promise to them both. To prove to them both how much he wanted her. And part of it was, admittedly, Caroline's own insecurity that she hadn't quite been able to kick, but also, and most importantly, it was much needed fun.
"This is very romantic, Stefan," she purred in his ear as he danced and swayed them around his bedroom floor.
"Well, thank you," he replied, running his hands up from her hips to her waist and back down, mapping her curves, "I'd like to think that I'm pretty good at this part, if nothing else."
"What part?" she asked, her body warming quickly from the way his hands were so freely running over her, exploring her like she belonged to him, or at least like he wanted her to.
"The romance part," he said, "As opposed to the parts that come before. The confusing parts, like...knowing what's going through someone's head," he said, punctuating the thought by pressing his lips to her temple.
She wasn't exactly sure what he was talking about and his thigh brushing against hers and his hands and lips on her body and face weren't helping her concentration at all.
"What do you mean?" she managed to ask, finding her fingers creep up to brush softly through the back of his hair.
He hummed a little at the contact and the sound made its way through her body in a shiver.
"I mean," he said, "What do you want, Caroline?"
The abruptness of the question in the middle of their leisurely seduction startled her. She seemed to come out of the fog he was creating with his roaming hands and lips. She leaned back to look at his face, thinking seriously about her answer.
"Because," he continued, "I can't figure out what you expect my next move to be."
She frowned a little. He thought she was playing games with him. Expecting him to read her mind. Was she doing that? And was she really sorry? Or just sorry that she was caught?
"I don't expect anything of you, Stefan," she said, sweetly. Lying. She fidgeting with the collar of his shirt and looked over his shoulder toward his bed, perfectly made. When had she become the messy one in the relationship? The one complicating otherwise simple things.
"Mmm hmm," he said, not even trying to hide the fact that he didn't believe her.
She looked at him then, his tone catching her attention.
"I don't!" she said, again, biting her lip to hide her smile.
The record had ended and was in the process of restarting but she pretended not to notice as they continued to hold each other in the middle of the floor. The party below sounded to be thinning out a bit, but the music played on, thumping through the ceiling and the ground beneath their feet. She thought she heard Bonnie scolding Damon for something.
Stefan tilted his head down and looked up at her from under his raised brows, prodding her to come clean.
"Okay!" she admitted, "Okay, I guess I just...I want..." She struggled to find the words.
"You want me to break, right?" he helped, his hands moving once again on her torso, now snaking around to rub up and down her back, "You want me to not be able to wait for you? To prove to you how much I want you?"
She let out an exasperated huff, angry at him for being able to read her so easily. Angry at herself for being so easily readable. Angry at herself for playing such silly, insecure games in the first place. Can't change my stripes, I guess.
"IF that were the case," she said, dragging a featherlight fingernail across the skin of his neck, "How horrible of a person would that make me?"
Stefan chuckled and pulled her flush against him, burying his face in her neck and hugging her tight.
"It would just make you Caroline," he said, smiling fondly, "And, trust me, that could never make you a horrible person."
Caroline smiled in appreciation.
"But, until you're ready to be with me," he added, "Could you please take it a little easier on me?"
She cocked her head to the side, confused.
"These," he reached to the hem of her dress and slipped a hand just underneath.
Caroline's mouth fell open in surprise, sucking a ragged breath into her lungs.
"These," he repeated, dragging a thumb across the lacy stop of her stockings, stroking the bare skin of her upper thigh before slipping his fingertip between the elastic and her skin, "Are killing me."
The way he half whispered/half growled the sentence into her ear made desire burn hot inside of her, shooting out from her middle toward her fingertips, her toes, her everything. She lowered her forehead onto his shoulder to hide the blush in her cheeks.
He released her stocking with a tiny pop against her skin and placed a lingering kiss on her cheekbone.
"You don't like?" she said, teasingly, almost groaning in protest as he removed his hand and returned it to her waist.
"Oh, I really really like," he said, smiling, "That's the problem."
Caroline smiled apologetically, at least a little sorry for torturing him. Although, mostly just relieved that he had been just as conflicted as she had all this time, just able to hide it more easily.
"I just hate waiting," Caroline said, whispering in his ear and placing her lips to his ear lobe.
He exhaled against her neck and lightly clutched the back of her dress.
"So do I," he said, stroking his hand through her hair and bringing her lips close to his own without closing the distance.
Caroline licked her lips in anticipation of the kiss, when it didn't come she spoke.
"So let's take a break," she whispered against his lips, the desire in her voice thick and obvious, "From waiting."
Stefan hummed in pleasure at the idea, pressing against her back until their hips were flush against each other. She could feel how much he wanted her. Her head was spinning again.
"But are you ready?" he asked, suddenly twirling her away from him and pulling her back.
She giggled, both relieved and disappointed at the broken tension.
"Am I ready?" she mirrored him, giving herself time to think.
Her mind flashed to her home. Refurnished because she'd gotten rid of all of her stuff when she turned her humanity off. Now empty and void of emotion. No wonder she spent all her time here now. She thought of school and how little she cared about going back this fall. It seemed so unimportant in the midst of the constant danger around them. She thought about how nice it would be to curl up next to Stefan every night after a day of playing hero together, how nice it would be to not constantly be fighting the pull to touch him and be with him in the way she wanted to be. How relaxing that would be, how much of a relief.
YES, her mind screamed.
"No," her lips said, startling her.
"Then, no, Caroline," he sighed, "We can't "take a break" from waiting. Because when I finally have you, I want all of this, the dancing, the romance, your complete confidence, everything."
Caroline looked at Stefan in surprise and amazement as they continued to sway to the music. His eyes were gentle but firm on the subject. God, she loved him. Wanted him. She had told him no out of fear, she realized. That something would go wrong. That it would be her fault. That she'd lose her best friend. But these feelings were on a scale, one slowly tipping toward giving into what she wanted so desperately. It was falling that way, it would fall that way. It just hadn't yet. Because their friendship was so heavy on the other side.
"Caroline," Stefan said, pulling her out of her thoughts with his breath in her ear and his hands on her hips, "What's on your mind?"
"I was just thinking...that you're just too perfect for your own good," she said, wrapping her arms more tightly around his neck.
"I was thinking the same thing about you," he said, placing a warm, slow kiss to her cheek and dipping her suddenly.
Caroline giggled as he lifted her back and twirled her again before pulling her close. The party below had all but ended, Bonnie had herded the party-goers to their cars and Damon to his bed, and now there was nothing but the music and their dancing. The record ended and began again before they finally pulled apart. Stefan gathered Caroline's hands in his own before placing a kiss to the back of her knuckles. Caroline smiled sweetly at the gentleman before her. And yes, that's what he was, the eternal gentleman, but it was less annoying somehow now.
"I guess this is goodnight," he said, disappointment evident somewhere in his tone.
Caroline smiled a small, sad smile herself.
"I guess so," she said, giving him a final squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before turning to leave.
Stefan walked toward his record player to stop the endlessly repeating record. Caroline's ears burned at the sudden silence. She felt the pull to stay with him, as she always did. And she fought it. As she always did. Turning on her heels to walk toward the door, make her way down the hallway to her own room in the house that she used on occasion.
"Hey Caroline," Stefan called out, stopping her in the doorway.
She turned her attention back to him. He was walking toward her with his hands in his pockets.
"What I said earlier," he said, "Forget it."
She mentally flipped through everything they'd said that evening to try to figure out to what he might have been referring. He was still approaching her and her heart began to beat a little faster as it did anytime he got close to her. And he looked different. Less like her perfect gentleman. More like the hot guy that wanted her just as badly as she wanted him. He rested his forearm against the door frame and leaned close to her.
"Don't stop wearing these for me," he said, stroking his hand once again down her thigh and running his thumb across the little button on the front of the garter holding up her stockings, "It would be a shame."
Caroline steadied her breath and her wobbling legs, fighting every muscle in her body that wanted to wrap her body around him and give in to what they both wanted so badly. Fighting for them to have everything, just like he wanted.
She tugged up on the bottom of her dress just enough to expose the tops of her stockings and a few inches of creamy thigh. Stefan's eyes lowered to take in the sight and he groaned softly in mock agony before chuckling and running the back of his index finger across the exposed skin. Caroline kissed a path across his cheek bones as he gently stroked her skin.
"I had no idea you were so mean, Caroline," he whispered into her hair.
"You can handle it," she whispered, "You're a gentleman."
She laughed and smoothed her dress back over her legs. Stefan frowned in disapproval and then gave her another kiss on top of her head before stepping back and allowing her to leave.
"Goodnight, Caroline," he said, desire and amusement in his voice.
"Goodnight, Stefan," she said, sounding the same.