Coping Skills
Abby sniffled as she cuddled up to Bert in her lab. The darkness closing in around her would have been tolerable, even welcome on any other day, but this day was different. This day was the day Kate died. She had suspected this was going to happen hours before it did, she should have tried harder, told someone, stopped it somehow! She should have demanded Gibbs have the secondary team go on this mission, this was all her fault! Tears rolling down her cheeks, Abby sobbed into the hippo, seemingly her only comfort in this dark place.
Crashing waves of sorrow broke over her and she leap to her feet that would now hold Kate in its clammy grips for all of eternity. Taking hold of the nearest beaker, she threw it at the wall and it shattered, a cacophony of noise breaking the heavy silence.
Screaming, crying, raging at reality, she ran from the room into the lighted hallway. The glare blinded her, trying to deter her from her path, trying to drive her back into the blackened room, She leapt into the elevator, slamming her hand down on the consol, trying to will it to life, and speed, with the force of her mind. Finally arriving, she ran to her car, her hands shaking so badly, she could barely get the key in the lock.
She climbed in and tore out of the garage, speeding down the street madly, desperation pulsing through her. She looked out through her window at the world, suddenly feeling very small. Her foot was pressing harder and harder on the gas as she drove, the increase not registering. The other cars and stoplights flew by unnoticed. She had to get to Gibbs, she suddenly thought. Gibbs would explain it he would know why her best friend had been torn from her so suddenly, why it had happened, what Kate had done to deserve it. Gibbs.
Pulling up in front of his house, she slammed on the brakes and halted, the sudden stop throwing her forward. She opened the door and got out, running up the steps to Gibbs' front door and bursting through.
She knew immediately where he would be, and ran to the basement door. Standing on the top of his steps, she cast her eyes around the room and found him, lying on his back under the frame of his boat.'
Leaping down the stairs two at a time, she ran to meet him as he sat up, having heard her arrival. Throwing herself into his arms, she sobbed
"Why?"
Silent, he held her, unmoving, his face a face of grief; unshed tears sparkling in his tired eyes. Once glowing with happiness, they now seemed dark pools of despair. And revenge.
Rearing back, she punched him as hard as she could, a cry of
"Bring her back!" ringing in the air.
Continuing her assault on him, she screamed brokenly,
"Why are you here and she's not? You don't deserve to be here like she did. You should have died for her Gibbs! You should have saved her! Why weren't you there for her when she needed you the most?"
He took her beating, motionless and silent, tears now streaming down his face.
Exhausted, she collapsed at his feet curling up into a tight ball, shaking and gasping. Ever soundless, he gathered her up in his arms and slowly climbed the stairs. Laying her down in his bed, he moved to go, but she suddenly grabbed his wrist. Settling down beside her, she cuddled up against him.
For a long time they stayed like that, pouring out their grief together; she, needing to understand, and he, needing forgiveness.
After and eternity, she stretched out her hand and placed it directly over his heart, middle and ring finger folded under, the others splayed on his chest. For a moment he didn't move, then he took her hand in his and raised it to his face, pressing it against his cheek, weeping against it, thanking her.
Tonight, they would survive. For her.