HMC BOOK SPOILERS. A companion piece to last year's How the Witch Stole Christmas! I was somewhat sympathetic to Lily Angorian in that one, based on something Howl says to Calcifer in HMC Chapter 19 : "Compared with the way the Witch treats her demon, you live a revoltingly easy life."
If we are to believe Howl (a big if, admittedly), this suggests that Lily was, on occasion, humiliated and exploited by the Witch. At least, that's how it must have started.
But we can't forget what Lily really was and where she came from. Howl certainly didn't. The following might have been his thoughts upon encountering her in Wales and realizing that all his loved ones in two worlds were in the worst possible danger from her.
(Assuming, of course, that Howl were to filk those thoughts to the tune of Thurl Ravenscroft's masterpiece You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.)
--o--
You're a mean one, Miss Angorian---
You're a schoolboy's vilest dream;
You're as cuddly as a nightmare,
You're as charming as a scream,
Miss Angor-ian;
You're a bowl of nightshade with [two musical beats] termites and cream!
You're a poser, Miss Angorian---
Your heart's a lump of coal;
Though you look so very fetching
As you stand there taking roll,
Miss Angor-ian,
I wouldn't touch you with a [beat] thirty-nine-point-five kilometer pole!
You're a vile one, Miss Angorian---
You really are a pain;
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a gushing open vein,
Miss Angor-ian;
Given the choice between you and a Lubbock about to lay forty-seven eggs in my brain, I'd take the Lubbock-omelet (with onions and a side of chips) brain!
You're a monster, Miss Angorian---
You're a nasty, wasty skank.
You're trying to attract me;
It's not working: you've got cank
-les, Miss Angor-ian;
The three words that best describe what you have driven me to are as follows, and I quote: "Drink, drunk, drank!"
You're a devil, Miss Angorian---
You're the queen of evil queens;
You're Satan's little sister
Clad in tight designer jeans,
Miss Angor-ian;
Your soul is a massive singularity, the bloated event horizon of which is swallowing everything that is good, pure, and decent in the universe and smashing and mashing it to quantum smithereens!
You appall me, Miss Angorian---
With an appalling, über pall;
You're an apple from the teacher
Laced with cyanide and gall,
Miss Angor-ian;
Of all possible disasters and misfortunes I could have brought upon myself, finding YOU in my home world in the close proximity of, and with immediate access to, my sister's family--my nephew and niece in particular--is the absolute most unforeseen, catastrophic, and horrendous plot twist of all!