For anyone who hasn't read my story 50 States if Crazy—this will make soooo much more sense if you read that first.

This is the oneshot that started it all... I asked if you guys wanted it, and you said yes—so here you go; drunk Maryland, Montana, and New York. There shall be stupidity. And Hannah Montana. For whatever reason, I made it winter in this. So yeah... Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the states.

-0-0-0-0-0-

"What're we doing?" New York asked.

"I forgot... Let's go swimming!" Montana grabbed Maryland and New York by the arms and dragged them towards the kitchen door.

"Wait... but we don't have any *hic* swimsuits." New York paused.

"It's February," Maryland added.

There was silence.

"Let's do it anyway!" New York ran out the door, dragging Maryland along.

"Woo-hoo!" Montana ran out the kitchen door, straight to the pond and tried to jump in off the dock.

THUD.

"Oww... that *hic* hurt... Why won't the water let me go swimming?"

"I dunno." New York poked at the ice of the pond, which had frozen solid. "Weeeeird..."

Montana pouted. "It's too cold. LET'S GO WATCH T.V.!"

The three ran (stumbled) back into the house and fell onto the couch. Montana grabbed the remote, turning the T.V. on.

It was playing the Disney Channel—Hawaii and Alaska had most likely been the ones watching it last. Since it was one in the morning, a rerun of the old Hannah Montana show was playing. The three of them watched, enthralled.

Halfway through the show, there was a huge concert with singing and dancing.

"I could *hic* totally do that," Montana announced.

"Yeah!" New York nodded.

Maryland just looked at them, a small smile on his face.

"Mattie? You're smiling. You don't smile... *hic* do you?" Montana stared at him.

Maryland whispered something to New York.

He beamed. "I HAVE AN IDEA!" He jumped up, forgot where his feet were, and promptly fell on his face. "Ow..."

"What's the idea, Yorkie?" Montana sat up from his sprawl across the couch.

"You guys'll see," he mumbled from the floor.

-Five Minutes Later-

"We have a stage? When'd we get a stage?" Montana stared.

"...when I asked for one. Broadway demanded *hic* it." New York flung open a chest full of costumes. "And look!"

All three states grinned.

O-O-O-O

California yawned and pushed open the door separating the stage from the rest of the basement. "What's with all the noi..."

He trailed off, mouth hanging open.

"(((Song Lyrics aren't allowed... The song here is "Best of Both Worlds. The lyrics are removed so that this story doesn't get deleted)))"

Montana was wearing a blonde wig ...and a sparkly silver dress. He was dancing in the middle of the stage, singing along to the music at the top of his lungs. Maryland and New York were dancing behind him, apparently backup dancers.

"...Oh God..." California just stared.

"YEAH, YOU GOT THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!"

"You know what? I'm going back to bed." He turned around and walked back out, silently praying for brain bleach.

-Three Hours Later-

New York was laying in a pile of costumes and snoring, one arm flopped across his face. Montana was sitting at the counter, staring at his cup in mystification. Maryland looked like he was half-asleep.

Montana looked up groggily. "Maryland... dude, why don't you ever talk? ...you should talk more."

"Sorry," Maryland mumbled back.

"Uh huh... Oh, hi there marshmallow..." Montana waved at the couch.

The door opened, and Virginia marched in wearing fuzzy blue pajama bottoms and not much else. "What are you three doing?! It's four in the morning! You're going to wake everyone up, and California keeps muttering about brain bleach—"

"You're pretty..."

Virginia looked down. Maryland was sitting on the floor and hugging his leg with a dazed grin.

"What the—GET OFF OF ME!"

"No." Maryland had a death grip.

"Let me go!"

"No."

"Let. Me. Go."

"No."

"Let me go."

"No."

"LET ME GO."

"...No."

Virginia gave up. "Okay, all of you are going upstairs to sleep this off. Now. Get moving."

Montana kept talking to a pillow. New York snored. Maryland continued hugging Virginia's leg. Nobody moved.

Virginia resisted the urge to bang his head against a wall. "This is why you guys aren't allowed to get drunk!" he groaned in exasperation. "Bad things happen."

Since New York was the lightest, only a few inches taller than Ginny, he decided to deal with him first. "Come on..." he dragged the sleeping state over to the couch and shoved him onto it, Maryland still hugging his leg.

He threw a blanket over New York and went to work on Montana.

"Okay, put it down." He held out a hand for the pillow.

"But this is Mr. Marshmallow! And he doesn't like you."

"Well, I think Mr. Marshmallow is sleepy and wants to go to bed, and you really need to go to sleep too. So how about you and Mr. Marshmallow go sleep on the couch?" He pointed.

"Okay..." Montana stumbled over to the couch, tripped, and landed face-first in New York's lap.

Virginia rolled his eyes.

"Good... nigh... Zzzz..." Montana drifted off before he could even finish.

Virginia looked down. "And now I just have to deal with you... I suppose I'm not going to get you to let go easily, am I?"

Maryland said nothing, as usual.

"I will literally pay y—"

"No."

He gave a sigh if resignation. "Fine. I'll sleep down here." Limping over to the couch with Maryland still hugging his leg, Virginia flopped down next to his sleeping brothers and pried Matthias off.

"I'm not doing a thing for any of you in the morning." He rolled over. "Good night."

END

A/N:

They end up MAJORLY regretting it...

So begins the series of oneshots! I wanted to get this up earlier, but I blame the fact that my mom and I are MAKING A FRIKIN WEDDING CAKE. And also Queen Quenn of Nerdingham, distracting me with Canada and Tangled... (Just kidding.)

EDIT: Removed the song lyrics... T.T It just isnt the same. AND I had to do an A/N in the middle of the story, and it annoys me to write as well as read them.

Anyways, here's the deal, my fellow fangirls (and boys): I have decided to take requests. If you want me to write something, I can try to write it. These will be ranging from silly plotless humor things to historical angst, so get those minds moving!

~Rambler