A/N: Hey, everyone. This is much, much shorter than I'm accustomed too, but a random snippet of conversation popped into my head, and I just had to write it down... and once I wrote that down, I had to set the background for that conversation, and so on and on until this oneshot appeared, even though I usually hate writing such short stories. It didn't fit for the preliminary outline I've been working on for my new fic, so here it is.

Oh, and by the way, I squealed while rewatching Episode 5 of Detective School Q because the name Ootori was there, and then Episode... I think it was 12 or something... because the name Kaoru popped up. Aha. Pathetic, I know.

In completely unrelated news, one of my friends is talking about creating a doujinshi using Old Tangles, New Knots. So I might actually see my fanfic in manga form! *throws confetti in the air* But... that'll be a looooooong time from now, if ever, seeing I can't cover the cost of her ink and paper, and she's busy with her other Fine Arts projects.

I'll continue my A/N further down, since I'm sure readers would rather actually see the story than bother with my rambling.

Stolen Minutes

It was a crisp January afternoon. The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, and the twins had successfully pulled another one of their pranks over Tamaki during club time.

Kyouya sighed as Kaoru rejoined him at their table, a delicious smirk tugging at the younger boy's lips. "I really wish you two wouldn't do that," Kyouya said, looking up at the ceiling where Tamaki was strung up and screaming his pretty little head off. He could feel the beginnings of a migraine already. "You all know that I'll be the one who has to untie the fool. Now I'll have to put up with his complaining all night."

Tamaki flailed against the ropes that bound his arms and supported his weight from the ceiling—a good ten feet above the ground. "GET ME DOWN FROM HERE! PLEASE!" The designators fluttered around uselessly below him, alternately giggling and making clucking noises of concern. They were of zero help—Tamaki's eyes went looking for some angel to come rescue him.

"HARUHI, MY LOVELY DAUGHTER, WON'T YOU HELP YOUR DADDY IN HIS TIME OF NEED?"

Haruhi raised an eyebrow. She was sitting with Mori and Hunny at a table near Kyouya and Kaoru's, with all five of them calmly sipping their coffee and ignoring the commotion and the crowd of concerned (and amused) girls watching Tamaki wriggle. "Hell no. And you're not my father."

"He'll be flooding my phone with calls and messages with his whining about our 'naughty, uncaring little children' now," Kyouya muttered. "The networks always earn more when Tamaki's distraught."

Kaoru snickered, shrugging his jacket off and draping it on the couch's arm. "Then turn your phone off tonight," he suggested, curling up next to the Shadow King on the couch. He reached out to play with Kyouya's tie. "We'll be at the movies later anyway, you really are supposed to turn it off in the theater."

"And since when did we agree to go to the movies later?"

"Since now that we're making dinner together tonight, right?"

"You assume a lot."

"Only when I know I'm making the right assumptions." Kaoru grinned victoriously as Kyouya laughed. He knew the battle was already won. "Aww, come on, Kyouya-sempai. There's a great new art film showing, and besides, it's not like spending time with me is a hardship for you, right?"

"Indeed? I beg to differ, sometimes—you missed." Kyouya ducked the swat that Kaoru aimed at his head. The freshman growled in mock-anger, yanking on his tie and unknotting it to lie loosely around his neck. "Kaoru, you know I like my uniform neat and presentable at all times."

Kaoru toyed his collar. "I bet I could do something to make you change your mind about that."

Kyouya smirked. Kaoru was manipulative—he was probably the only one who could really pull one over him—but Kyouya was still, and would always be, the dominant one in their relationship. "You could try, but I'd walk away as tidy as ever—and you'd be the one rumpled beyond all belief."

If Hikaru could have heard what Kyouya was saying, he would probably have gone into 'overprotective older brother mode' again (Kyouya and Kaoru could now both accurately predict when Hikaru would burst into the room to make sure that they weren't doing anything other than study—not that it was all that hard, since he came checking on them every three minutes on the dot). As it was, though, the older Hitachiin was busy saying, "You ladies want to play with the piñata?" He let out a maniacal laugh as he waved a baseball bat in the air, eliciting whimpers from Tamaki. "A big kiss from milord for the princess with the best aim."

"HI-HIKARU!"

"Come on, milord," Hikaru said, an evil grin plastered on his face. "We mustn't disappoint these eager beauties! Take it like a man!"

"Ouch. Hikaru's pushing it," Kaoru said, wincing.

"Someday he'll go too far and Tamaki will show him his real temper." Kyouya shook his head, taking off his glasses to polish them. Kaoru could never decide whether he liked Kyouya better with them on or off, and he decided that he liked Kyouya any way he chose to look, because Kyouya was too captivating for his own good, no matter what he chose to wear… or not wear. "He may not look it, but when Tamaki gets angry enough…"

"So you've seen it before, sempai?" It was difficult to imagine the good-natured blond mad at anyone. Tamaki was the sort who'd not only forgive anyone who tried to rob him, he would listen to that person's sob story ("Oh, you poor soul! You lost all your money in fill in the blank with tragic incident here") and probably shower that person with cash and sympathy.

"Hmm, yes. He got upset with me the time when we all went to the beach. He didn't have time to fully express it, though. I walked out on him, and he had more pressing matters to talk with someone about."

Kaoru cocked his head to one side, thinking over the time they'd all stayed at Nekozawa's vacation mansion. From what he recalled, Tamaki and Kyouya had been on good terms the whole trip. Haruhi was the one who'd gotten into a fight with Tamaki. "What happened? I don't remember anything like that."

"Oh, it was nothing important. He simply had issues with Haruhi being in my bed."

Kaoru twitched at the nonchalant tone. "Oh, really?"

"Yes. Ridiculous, seeing as he didn't really have a reason to be distressed—well, I can understand his concern, seeing as my clothes were off at the time… and the room was dimmed… but still…" Haruhi was turning red; unfortunately for her, she, Mori and Hunny could all hear Kyouya and Kaoru's conversation. Mori raised an eyebrow at her in silent inquiry, and she shook her head frantically.

Kaoru released Kyouya's tie and smiled with saccharine sweetness at him. "You know what, I think you and I need to have a little talk about that."

Kyouya blinked—what?—then snorted as his mind processed Kaoru's point of view. "The incident was completely innocent, Kaoru. I was merely attempting to teach Haruhi a lesson."

"In what? Sex ed?" Haruhi's cheeks burned even more, inventing a never-seen-before shade of crimson.

The Shadow King sighed, then cupped Kaoru's chin and tilted his head so that his irked boyfriend's face was tilted up at him. "Kaoru?"

"What?" The redhead was pouting.

"You seem to be forgetting that I'm gay."

Kaoru blushed. "Oh. Right." Haruhi breathed a sigh of relief as Mori's tense posture relaxed a few degrees.

The sophomore began fixing his tie. "You're quite adorable when you're jealous, but there is absolutely no need for you to be."

"So, any more encounters that I should know about?" Kaoru probed when Kyouya had finished tying the fabric into a knot around his neck. "No kissy-kissy with milord or anything, right?"

"Don't worry, I threw him off."

Kaoru's eyes widened. "There was kissy? You kissed him? When the hell did this happen and who else have you been smooching?"

"He kissed me," Kyouya clarified, frowning as he recalled the time. Tamaki had been drunk, Kyouya had been depressed, and things had gotten crazy. "But as I've told you, I threw him off—I assure you that I did not appreciate the attention. I had to knock him unconscious, in fact."

Hunny paused digging into his cake as the remark floated over to their table. "Wow. I always knew Tama-chan was a pervert."

Kaoru was staring. "You… you had to fight him off? Was he raping you or something?"

A smile tugged at Kyouya's lips. He would probably give nightmares to anyone who attempted anything of the sort. "He was not aware of what he was doing, Kaoru. Trust me on that. But you know, what he did actually made me realize that I was in love with you."

"Hmm." Kaoru tapped thoughtfully at his chin. "Well then, I guess I can forgive him being a pervert just this once. So… what was it like?" He held his breath for Kyouya's reply. He knew that the Shadow King had already gotten over all his romantic feelings for his blond best friend, but Kaoru—no matter how sure he was about Kyouya's sincerity—still felt somewhat apprehensive whenever he saw them together.

Of course, Kyouya felt exactly the same way with Hikaru and Kaoru, only his was worse because the twins lived in the same house and even used to sleep in the same bed. Heck, for all he knew, the rumors that they showered together were true.

Not even he had the courage to ask Kaoru. Especially since he knew that Kaoru would tease him endlessly about being jealous.

"Well?" Kaoru prodded. "Don't tell me—best lip-lock of your life?" Tamaki was half-French after all… he was probably an expert in kissing.

"It was…" Kyouya thought the question over, searching for the best description for the incident. "Wet." Haruhi nearly spit out her coffee.

The Shadow King rolled his eyes. "Stop laughing, Kaoru."

"Wet?" If Kaoru had been jealous earlier, he certainly wasn't now.

"It had no real meaning… it was somewhat like when a dog kisses you."

"Oh, that's just perfect. Milord's new nickname can be King Bow-Wow. Ooh… most dogs are named Prince, right? He always fancied himself to be royalty." He grinned at the screaming Host King, who was trying to avoid the playful little thwacks of the bat that the girls were wielding. "Oh-oh. The customers actually listened to Hikaru." Ouch. One of them had actually gotten a pretty good swing in. "Milord doesn't look too happy."

"Well, you did help put Tamaki up there." Kaoru just shrugged, but there was an undercurrent of mischief in his eyes. "I don't even have to ask to know that this scheme was Hikaru's idea, but I wonder why you went along with it," Kyouya said, glancing briefly around before concluding that no one was paying attention to them, and pulling the Hitachiin closer to his side. It didn't matter that their clients already knew what was between them; they still had to be discreet, as his father had instructed them to be. "This is your first escapade in a month, now—and only the first on a club member in three months."

"I wanted some alone time with you," Kaoru said adorably. "And look, I'm getting it. I don't like not being around you just because the girls are here."

The Shadow King chuckled as Kaoru slid onto his lap, with Kyouya snaking an arm around his waist to make his position more stable. The redhead was right—with all the ruckus that the Host King was making, no one would notice them. At least, none of the customers would, seeing as they were all gathered underneath Tamaki's struggling form. "Well… now that you mention it, the situation does have its merits."

"Of course it does," Kaoru said, smug.

"…you asked Hikaru to come up with a way to pull one over Tamaki, didn't you?"

"Who, me?" The freshman attempted to use his Bambi eyes (weapons of mass destruction, according to Hikaru and Kyouya both—one of the handful of times that the two actually agreed on something), but spoiled it with the Cheshire cat grin still on his face. "Oh dear. It seems that my oh-so handsome boyfriend has discovered my evil nature."

"I think I'm rubbing off on you a little too much."

"I like it when you rub off on me."

Haruhi choked on her coffee and had a coughing fit which had Mori patting her back as she tried to control her sputtering. Hunny simply giggled and buried his face in Usa-chan's cloth body to smother the sound.

Kyouya smirked, hitching Kaoru even closer to him. "I like it too—I like it a lot, in fact. But you might want to rethink that statement, Kaoru," he said, causing Kaoru to blush. "For someone who can be so sly, you're quite naïve."

"What can I say? I'm innocent at heart."

"Hmm." A speculative hand slid down his leg. "I could change that… there are quite a few benefits for me to garner from such a… lesson."

Kaoru grinned. Kyouya was surprisingly fond of teasing him. "Hikaru would murder you."

"Private army."

"Good point. But ow for him. Knowing how vindictive your guards are where you're concerned, we'd have to bury Hikaru in a matchbox by the time they're done with him." He'd already encountered Tachibana and the other members of 'Team Kyouya'. They hadn't actually come out and told him that they would disembowel him if he ever broke Kyouya's heart (Kyouya would have had them hanging by their thumbs if they had), but the sentiment was definitely there.

"I would make sure that they only shoot to disarm," Kyouya promised, sliding his other hand in the space between Kaoru's shoulder blades. "Maybe cripple him a little. But I'd leave him breathing for you."

"You'd do that for me? How romantic," Kaoru teased.

"Indeed… nothing screams romance like restraining my guards from completely killing your twin."

"Uh-huh. I'll be sure to return the favor by not driving your best friend to total insanity."

Kyouya smirked, fingers running lightly up and down Kaoru's spine. "I think you're too late." His smirk widened when Kaoru leaned back into his touch.

"Well, I think you'd better hurry up and kiss me before I'm driven to total insanity." Kaoru looked up at him through golden lashes. He wrapped his arms around Kyouya's neck. "Now."

"Your command is my wish," Kyouya replied, laughing quietly at his eager expression as he leaned in with deliberate slowness.

"HITACHIIN HIKARU, GET ME DOWN FROM HERE, YOU GREASY DEVIL!"

Hikaru grinned up without remorse at the slightly battered blond. "Oi, milord, I'm Kaoru. Can't you tell by now?"

"You're not Kaoru! Kaoru's over there, with Kyou…" Tamaki's blue-violet eyes widened when he saw the position that they were in, with Kyouya just inches away from Kaoru's lips. "Uh."

"Loud-mouthed idiot," Kyouya muttered as everyone turned to look at them. As he pulled reluctantly away from his boyfriend, he made a mental note not to let Tamaki use their kotatsu next winter. And definitely not help him down later. "Our time's over. Cover your ears, Kaoru."

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Stop pawing at my brother, you bloodthirsty spawn of hell! Kaoru, you are not going to get laid before I do, you hear me? It's bad enough that my younger brother got a relationship before I did!"

"It's kawaii! It's moe! It's the subject of my new doujinshi!"

"MOTHER! HOW COULD YOU DISREGARD MY TRAGIC PLIGHT AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE SEDUCED BY THAT DEVILISH DOPPELGANGER?! DADDY REFUSES TO ALLOW SUCH SCANDALOUS BEHAVIOR FROM MOMMY!"

"Just when we were getting to the best part. Next time, let's screw the teasing part and just have you kiss me senseless, will you?" Kaoru was only kidding; he and Kyouya both loved the teasing, almost even more than the lip-locking—still, he sighed as he slid off of Kyouya's lap. "Well, it was fun while it lasted," he said forlornly. "We had nearly half an hour all to ourselves. Meet you at the cinema at seven?"

"I'll pick you up instead, and remember that we're both cooking dinner," Kyouya replied, bracing himself as the fangirl attack (and one marauding older brother—and dear Lord, the girls had allowed Hikaru to get the baseball bat back) came rushing their way, all thoughts of the dangling Tamaki-piñata forgotten. He reached out and squeezed the younger boy's hand. "I enjoyed this, Kaoru. We should have moments like this more often."

Kaoru grinned. "That… can be arranged."

The next day, it would be crisp January afternoon. The birds would be singing, the flowers would be blooming, and a very contented Hitachiin would be crawling into Kyouya's lap once again as they tuned out Tamaki's wailing that two redheaded pranksters had just handcuffed him to Nekozawa Umehito.

A/N: Liked it? Hated it? Let me know! Also, if you guys have any requests for scenarios, challenges, etc., let me know, I'm curious and would love doing such things in between the other things I work on, though I don't promise to do all of them.

Also, a question I'd like to pose to those who are fans of Cardcaptor Sakura or Death Note: Kyouya vs. Eriol? Kyouya vs. L or Light? Because that's seriously been bugging me. Haha. I might even do a story about that someday.

More reviews mean more stories. Really. Thanks for reading this!