I dearly miss writing these two together. I dearly miss Harry Potter fan fiction; Full stop.
She's scared(terrified) of what her parents will say once they find out. She fears the moment James find out. She's more scared of that than she is of her parents finding out.
She grips the muggle pregnancy test in her trembling hands. Her eyes are glassy with tears.
you stupid, stupid girl
why would you do that?
She can picture the child – blond hair and grey eyes, a carbon copy of every other Malfoy – and her heart breaks because it won't look like her. Or James.
why are you thinking of
him
right now?
She leans against the cool toilet, letting her worries and fears present themselves in the form of translucent tears, falling off her nose and onto the stick that holds her future.
James will hate her. He'll never talk to her again – even if it hurts her and even if he promised never to hurt her – and he'll never kiss her nose, whilst they're innocently cuddled up together.
your own fault, Rosie-Rose,
you know?
Her head hurts as she knocks on his flat door, and so does her heart as he smiles at her and hugs her and pulls her into the warm house. His arms are around her and his lips are hers and she can't bring herself to detach them.
try scrape yourself out of this mess,
Bitch
He yells at her and she just stands their like a waxwork – her forehead is even shiny from sweat, too. She feels sick.
"Rose!"
"I'm sorry."
"I loved you."
"I'm sorry."
"You don't love him."
"I know; I'm sorry."
are you, are you
really sorry?
He apologises for not being enough. He apologies for making her go else where for sex.
She breaks down and screams at him that it really wasn't her fault. That she didn't ask to be raped.
he just jumped you in park,
then?
He hugs her and tells her that it will all be alright. He loves her and won't tell her that he's scared for her.
He kisses her and tells her that he'll always be there for help. She merely kisses his nose.
terrified really,
aren't you, James?
Six months later he tells her that he can't take the secrecy. It's a lie, because he doesn't care. It's a lie because he can't take the thought of Draco-bloody-Malfoy's hands over his Rosie.
It's a lie because his heart hasn't been the same.
It's a lie because he wants to protect her.
you know you're only hurting her,
right?
that she cries out in the middle
of the night,
for
you?
that she's scared of ever
going Scorpius' house again?
She gives birth to a baby son.
how predictable
James never goes to see her.
stupid man
She lives with the scars.
He lives with the memories of nightmares shared between them.
they both live with a heavy heart,
and it's all James' fault,
apparently.
(Don't worry if you don't understand; I was rushed writing this. I'll edit it tomorrow after school.)