There were endless nights where Itachi would lie awake with nothing but the slow beating of his heart to keep him company. His mind would blank, and he stared at the ceiling. His breath was visible in the air, curling about his face and bringing his skin a cold kiss.
His fingers twirled lazily around a few locks of his hair as memories flooded into him, remnants of frozen nights years ago where he'd had his heart stolen by a silver-haired beauty, never to see it again.
Yes. So many years ago now…he'd lost all feeling. All true sense of self, gone…because the only person who'd opened his soul meant nothing to him now. As he recalled, the beginning of the end began it's weaving on a day even more bitingly frigid than this.
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"Hey, 'Tachi-kun!" A gentle voice called to him.
Jet black eyes gave a small dart to the speaker before a small, uncaring grunt of acknowledgement sounded from their owner. What did the copy-nin want from him? They'd never so much as spoken before. Of course, Itachi knew an attractive person when he saw one, which was why he even knew Kakashi. The others in the village were sub-par.
Itachi, stone-faced, turned to Kakashi, eyes betraying nothing but the void emotions swimming in his mind. The copy-nin smiled under his mask, just enough to show he wasn't at all intimidated by Itachi's deadly demeanor. Itachi briefly wondered whether the man was brave or purely stupid.
"I was wondering…has anyone ever taken you out?" The silver-haired man smiled, continuing as though worlds hadn't just been spoken through their eyes.
Itachi's eyes widened assured now that the other man was a few shuriken short of a pouch.
"No. Most are far too afraid to even bother asking me."
The reply had been toneless, though Itachi was fairly certain that the other could tell by that tiny little movement in his eyelids that Itachi was nearly shocked into silence.
Kakashi laughed softly. "Ah. Then I suppose asking you out to celebrate your birthday is out of the question?"
Itachi was, for one of the very smallest moments in his life, confused. Why in the world had this man, this near stranger, remembered his birthday and cared about it when his household thought of it as a simple new day on the calendar? It was a strange thing that his heart skipped with a small glint of child-like happiness at the occasion's being noticed. He growled to himself that such sentiment was a waste of time, and forced it back from whence it came.
"It would depend on the situation. Not enough has occurred this year for my birthday to matter."
"Really? I was thinking of taking you over to a little place on the edge of town. I live near there, and they've got a sale on dango."
At the mention of his favorite food, Itachi's eyes almost gave a small shine of appreciation. His mind rationalized that Kakashi was a fellow konoha ninja, and wouldn't be too tempted to hurt him, and his stomach growled approval at the other man's sense of taste.
A slightly embarrassed Itachi closed his eyes, feeling the lashes interlock slightly, before drawing in a soft breath.
"I suppose, based on your behavior, I wouldn't mind allowing it this once. But I will remind you I'm fully armed."
What he was thinking, he had no idea.
Kakashi's smile widened, almost knowingly.
"I'll do nothing to make you use them."
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The red-eyed man's gaze traveled to the window of the room he and Kisame shared, turning his head on his pillow and sinking into it. A distant sting in his chest arose, but he did nothing to calm it. The blurred view of the night sky was comforting, almost. The light of the solitary moon fell on his body. He sighed a bit at the glowing orb, as though it could hear him and comfort him.
He flexed his hand lazily, then closed it into a gentle fist, eyes now locked on the ring on it. He raised it to his lips and whispered a small tale to it, one that at one time had been as dear to him as the wretched eyes that stared at the object.
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The copy-nin was persistent.
This was the one thing the elder Uchiha brother knew for certain. The man had been harassing him for what had to be three months, asking for a simple outing with Itachi every time the dark-haired man was in his line of sight.
Little things about Kakashi's behavior were sending warning signals to Itachi. It seemed that every time they sat together, the copy-nin would be just a little closer than he had been the last time the action occurred. The taller man's hand brushed his a little too much. All too often Kakashi's eyes would be locked on him for no apparent reason, filled with emotions Itachi was annoyed by because he'd never seen them before and couldn't rightly decipher them.
Worse than these small things, things that a normal person would never notice, Itachi was disturbed by the fact they were getting more comfortable to experience. He was becoming accustomed to the other's gentle presence, used to the sound of his voice as he whispered some nonsensical, sweet things.
The night of the new moon that third month was the night things changed.
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Itachi drew in another shaky breath at the unexpected pain of that specific remembrance. Then he gave a small chuckle. So, he wasn't completely gone in that aspect. Not unusual. He knew, from the countless recollections of his fellow akatsuki, as well as his own education in human behavior, that any pain that could make a heart rend never really received a truly curing salve.
He stroked his ring numbly, bringing it to his lips again and kissing it gently like it was the object of his mangled feelings.
He gave a ragged sigh, burying half his face in the pillow and feeling weaker then he had since discovering his loss of eyesight. Stray strands of silky black hair fell into his face, the scarce light giving him an almost unnatural beauty.
His exposed eye looked again to the full moon. Again, a consuming, writhing misery found him.
He could barely swallow the slight lump forming in his throat.
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They'd sat on a hill in a separate country. Kakashi had gently, but firmly convinced him out of their Konoha for the chance to see the beauty of the sky. The breeze, while reserved and unobtrusive on its own, was frostbitten, making Itachi's hair flutter around his angelic features softly. If he didn't want to appear weak to anyone by nature, he would have allowed his body a blessed shiver.
He had to admit the place was gorgeous. Short, almost dainty grass covered the entire hillside, with only a single, bare tree on the very crest to decorate it. The old wood was wonderful, its light pine scent and nearly tender roots were inviting. He and Kakashi sat, almost touching, staring up into the vast, mountainous landscape and the infinite universe in front of them.
Again, Kakashi's hand brushed his, those mismatched eyes staring at the sky.
"Itachi-kun…"
"Hmm?"
"Isn't the night sky beautiful?..."
Itachi smiled despite himself, but barely and very briefly. "Of course it is. I've told you countless times how much I enjoy it."
A pause, long and very close to anguished.
"And what of the moon, Itachi-san? What do you think of it?"
Itachi gave a small 'humph'. How could Kakashi ask that when it wasn't even exposed tonight? He asked the jounin as such.
"It's always out, Itachi-san. It's always there. On nights like this, it doesn't show a mask of white glamour. It shows its greatest desire."
Itachi stared at the jounin, unused to poetry from the other man's mouth.
"And what's the moon's greatest desire, Kakashi? ...tell me."
Another, more illusory pause.
"The moon's greatest desire is to be one with the sky, to give all it can to that wonderful blackness even if it can never truly become a unified being with it. It wishes for nothing but the unattainable affections of that great infinity, even though the vastness of that dark wall far diminishes its own size."
Itachi was stunned by the simple power, the astounding eloquence of the words. His eyes could not leave Kakashi, no matter how hard they tried to break away. His lips tried to form words, but for once in his life, he had no idea how to respond.
Then Kakashi spoke, shaking Itachi from his slight daze.
"So…what do you think of the moon and its inanity?" Kakashi repeated softly.
Itachi knew, from that first intricate sentence, that the jounin was not truly referring to the moon or sky. He felt a stirring in himself, a certain longing that he'd never felt before in his life.
"The moon…is not absurd in its affections. It's a powerful entity in its own right, and even the sky would be a fool to refuse it."
Now Kakashi turned to Itachi, and their eyes met. Something Itachi could never hope to describe passed between them. Mismatched eyes met slowly darkening ones. Itachi's ever-so-slightly trembling hand found a welcome fit on Kakashi's cheek, his arm pressing into the trees lightly. He pulled down the other man's mask, marveling at the unexpected, yet unsurprising, beauty that he unveiled. Both of their bodies slowly pressed together. A cosmos passed between the two, where there was one and the other and their bated breath and nothing else. They understood, just for this moment, what it meant for the world to feel right. There was not a thought of how immoral a romance of this nature was, not a single consideration of what would happen if anyone in the village found out. There was only this thing that was uniquely them.
When they finally kissed, their eyes closed in bliss. It was as though this simple gesture could bind their souls for all eternity. They stayed that way for a long while, lips simply pressing into each other, wishing they could just melt like that. Itachi's arms wrapped under Kakashi's shoulders, and Kakashi's found their way around the back of Itachi's neck. The kiss deepened. A slow fire burned somewhere in the pit of their stomachs, building more with every passing moment. Itachi pinned Kakashi to the ground, earning a soft grunt from the taller man that was released into a small, perfect mouth.
The following hours where filled with a mixture of aggression, self-hate, pain, and a beating, pulsing love neither would ever feel as intensely again. This wonderfully wrenching emotion melded into pure blackness somewhere along the lines.
The dawn was what woke them. Itachi was enveloped in Kakashi's arms and legs, entangled in the warmth and scent of the jounin, with his hair over his eyes and splayed all over the ground and those muscular arms. He gave a small smile with the sleepy realization that this same warmth must have kept their bare bodies from freezing during the night. He pressed a small kiss to Kakashi's lips, further amused by how the sleeping man was holding him so protectively in his sleep even though he'd been so purely submitted to Itachi the previous night. He nestled his head into the crook of his lover's neck, wrapping his arms around the larger man and pulling him even closer.
Kakashi gave a small groan. Itachi's mind suddenly realized the severity of the previous night. His eyes widened. He reluctantly pulled himself away, pulled on his clothes on as quickly as possible, and was in the middle of sitting and tying his hair quickly when Kakashi's waking drawl reached his ears.
"Hey, 'Tachi…", the copy-nin smiled, "What's the rush? Nobody will find us out here…you put up genjutsu seals all around here so nobody would ambush us, remember?"
Itachi, feeling red adorn his cheeks, and forcing it down for the sake of pride, growled out, "That's not the point! If anyone finds out what happened…you could…WE could…"
"Be happy together? Itachi…There's no use hiding it. You know it as much as I do. Both of us felt something last night. I've been chasing you far too long to lose it now."
Strong arms pulled Itachi flush against the other male. Itachi sighed. He knew it was helpless. He'd heard enough stories from the ANBU people to understand resistance was futile.
"So…the moon refuses to release the sky…even when it doesn't depend on the moon for its light…" The smaller male whispered.
"The sky still needs the moon. Without the moon, the sky would refuse to brighten come morning."
Itachi sighed. "Kakashi…the sun lights the moon when morning comes. Not the moon."
Kakashi kissed the soft raven hair before replying. "The moon becomes a sun when the sky has lit it."
Itachi closed his eyes, giving in to the embrace. "No it doesn't."
Kakashi lowered his face to Itachi's ear, lips nearly brushing the lobe.
"This moon does. The moon and sky, when together, brighten each other, causing ever more joy. At night, they attempt to become one, contrasting and displaying each other's beauty in the process. We're bound together."
The smaller man gave another sigh, more romantic than exasperated. "Such a way of weaving words, Kakashi. Where did you learn that?"
Kakashi chuckled. "You just bring that out in me."
A pair of red eyes rolled, Itachi hitting Kakashi playfully on his head. "Go put on your clothes, snake-charmer."
Kakashi laughed at the command. "Hai, hai…"
As the jounin dressed, Itachi stole a few guilty glances at him, smirking slightly despite himself. Then Kakashi spoke again.
"Itachi…don't let things go back to the way they were when we get back to the village. Please?"
Itachi let his eyes turn to Kakashi, knowing that warmth flowed from them.
"Kakashi…there would never be a way to change tonight. I swear, though I will never show it in public…we're bound."
The love in Kakashi's face as Itachi undid the genjutsu seals was enough to fill the void in Itachi.
"Come, 'Kashi-chan… we need to bathe in the river before we go into the village."
…
They held hands as they left.
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Itachi felt the tears now, despite all his pride, all his years of fighting them, all the self he'd given into making his face stone cold. The tears were worse than poison running down his cheeks. He let them flow freely, silently, as he was drenched, crushed by the weight of losing the thing that mattered most.
Madara had overpowered his senses, gotten so deeply into his mind and twisted it so maniacally that he'd had no choice but to believe that everything was a lie. All the love he felt had been destroyed by those damn eyes.
He killed his clan.
He almost killed his little brother.
And now Kakashi was his enemy. Just someone to hunt him down.
He let out one, desperate cry out to the world in his grief.
The last scream of his fragile sanity, his burning paper world.
The sky's last cry before it dragged the universe into an abyss.
Nobody heard it.
But far off in Konoha, Kakashi felt a sudden tear leak from him. He collapsed and broke down sobbing.
As far as anyone in Konoha knew, there was no explanation.
But for the moon and sky, a nothingness began to eat them both.
-----Owari-----