Authors note: Another fic of mine that was written a few years ago and posted on the sea patrol forum - so I've now only decided to publish it on thissite. One again, I hope you all enjoy - and errors are in fact my own. It came to mind, whilst I was listening to the song Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy - if you're familiar with the song, then you will notice that some of the lyrics are used throughout.

Kirst xx

Almost Lover

The palm trees sway in the wind, as I sit motionless on the soft white sand.

I remember the way your fingertips felt across my skin; the way a frenzy would erupt throughout my body, to be touched by you – again.

I remember all the little things that you used to do that would make me smile...

I want to remember all of those special moments that we shared together.

But, I can't. Because, every time I try to; I get emotional; I lose control of myself, somehow.

But yet...

I never wanted to see you unhappy.

And I really want to know, are you unhappy? Unhappy that you never got to say 'I love you' like I knew you wanted too?

It's unfair, I know. But when is life ever fair? When does it ever work out the way we want?

Rarely, but if it does you're lucky. Ever so lucky.

I had always thought you'd want the same for me – to be happy.

But, how can I be happy if all I'm left with is just memories?

I would've been happy if you hadn't have left me – again.

I'm trying so unbelievably hard not to think about you – but it's hard, so hard. Why can't you just let me be?

But really, I know the answer.

I don't want you to just let me be.

I want you with me.

Forever and always. But, we can't; forever never happens, it's just a dream; a figment of our imaginations.

No fairytale ending.

And now, I must try and say: 'so long, my luckless romance...'

My back has turned on you; I should've known you'd bring me heartache - Almost Lovers always do.

I remember walking down a crowded street; you took my hand and danced with me, not caring who saw or what they thought.

But, when you left you kissed my lips, you told me that you would never forget all of what we had been through – the good times and the bad times.

And now, I can't go to the ocean, I can't drive along the streets at night, and I can't wake up in the morning, without you on my mind...

Because now you're gone, I'm haunted by you...

I imagine you're with me.

I imagine your touch, across my skin.

And, there isn't anything I can do to stop it.

I remember ever so vividly, Hammersley setting sail without me for the very first time; the way you and the crew waved to me.

I touched my lips as I waved goodbye, they still felt swollen from our last kiss.

Our last ever kiss.

It was the last time I ever saw you.

The pain that creeps up and consumes me, is so raw and painful.

Why was it so easy for you to walk in and out of my life?

I wish you could and would answer me. But, as I stare at your headstone, I know it isn't possible.

You're dead; gone forever.

Goodbye my hopeless dream...

Goodbye my almost lover...

Goodbye...