Ranma and Akane's Date Pt 1

by Nocturnis

This is part three of my twelve-part year of evil. You have also probably noticed that my stories tend to evolve the characters and allow them to grow. The truth is that even though I am a fan of Ranma I found after a while that the stories started to fall into a repetive circle. You should know that this is actually in old story so some of the western references might be dated.

1. Chapter 1

Going note to readers: This is part three of my twelve-part year of evil. If you have read the two previous parts you will know that it is the story about a yearly visit from a demon named Akuma. You have also probably noticed that my stories tend to evolve the characters and allow them to grow. The truth is that even though I am a fan of Ranma I found after a while that the stories were tending to repeat themselves. How long are those students going to stay in school? Shouldn't they have graduated be now? So from this point the outcome of Ranma in my storyline will be very different.

Warning: The tone of this story might be very dark as the story evolves so does the writing theme (Don't worry no hentai I promise). But the stories will be more realistic and hopefully more enjoyable. This story takes place roughly a month after Happosai's Bargain

Also I should note that this note is the most previous as this story was written some years ago and has been collecting cyber dust until now so some western references and other manga cameos might be dated.

Ranma 1/2

Ranma's and Akane's date

Akuma watched the sun rise over of the Tokyo suburb of Nerima from his usual tree branch and smiled. He liked this town it had many entertaining people.

In the two months he had been here he has witnessed screwed up love triangles, Jusenkyo cursed victims, heartbreak, and of course old Happi. Even better since he arrived he got to have fun by defeating a wrinkly Amazon prune, torture the hell out of old Happi, shattered Soun's faith, and most of all, met and got into partnership with Nabiki Tendo.

"Yep it doesn't get much better then this." Magically a contract appeared out of nowhere and ended up in his hand. "And thanks to old Happi I get to stay here for a year." He was about to go visit his new play toys (minus Nabiki) at the Tendo dojo when someone caught his eye. It was a lone solitary figure wearing a huge backpack with a red parasol strapped onto the top of it. He was wearing a yellow T-shirt and green training pants. The figure kept his long hair black hair out of his eyes with a tiger-striped yellow bandana. Ryoga Hibiki had finally returned to Nerima.

"Finally, The Ryoga has come back to Nerima." he said. He then shook his head. "Man I should have never wandered into that WWF event; well anyway I hope Akane likes these souvenirs." His imagination found its way into Akane's bedroom. He pictured himself alone with her. "Oh Ryoga, They're beautiful. You are so sweet thank you." For a long minute they would stare into each other's eyes then awkwardly, they'll draw their lips closer. Her beautiful eyes started to suddenly turn red and square.

Bam!

Ryoga found his face getting well acquainted with red a book. He fell backwards from the impact of the book.

"I am so sorry." Ryoga heard a scratchy voice say. Removing the book from his face Ryoga looked up to see a red haired young man looking down at him.

"Please sir let me help you up." Ryoga allowed the scratchy voiced young man to help him up. "Are you all right I was up in the tree reading my book when it fell out of my hands; and well you know the rest." Ryoga looked at the book in his other hand it was all red except for one word in black spooky letters.

"What's F au st?" Ryoga asked giving back the book to the red haired stranger.

"It's a comedy." the stranger answered taking his book back. "So where were you off to before you were Fausted?"

"I was heading to the Tendo dojo." Ryoga shrugged off the injury.

"Ah are you friend of Ranma's?"

"You know Ranma Saotome?"

"We've met. In fact, I'm in a partnership with his soon-to-be sister-in law."

"What do you mean soon-to-be?"

"Oh didn't you hear? Ranma and Akane have been given the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts Dojo."

"What! Akane and Ranma are already married? He began to imagine himself as P-Chan being thrown out with the trash. Starving and being chased by hungry pandas pop, the stranger interrupted.

"No, no, not yet, they've just inherited the dojo while both the parents are away on their training journey. Wow, I can just picture it: the sexual tension between those two building up for a least a year, and now there is no parental supervision for who-knows how long. I wouldn't be surprised if Ranma was leaving Akane's room every morning, if you know what I mean?" He insinuated nudging Ryoga with his shoulder. Ryoga pushed Akuma away.

"What do you mean both parents are on a training journey? How could they just leave Akane with Ranma like that?"

"Well that's a real long story Mr. Ah, Mr.-"

"Hibiki, Ryoga Hibiki." Ryoga said gritting his teeth in rage at the thought of Ranma being alone with Akane for a whole month.

Oh great just what this place needs another male suitor for Akane. What the hell could all these idiots see in that man-trapped-in-a-flat chested woman's body? Akuma thought. He looked at Ryoga trying to control himself and a smiled formed on his face. Ryoga saw the small set of fangs and couldn't help but ask.

"Are we related by any chance?" Akuma couldn't help but laugh as he pictured himself in Ryoga's get up.

Especially wearing that ridiculous headband with my horns exposed! Akuma thought. "I sincerely doubt it. None of my family is from Japan per se. Besides I spent my younger years growing up in Canada, eh?" Akuma answered finally able to hold back his giggles. "Forgive me Ryoga, my name is Akuma."

Ryoga blinked for a minute then started laughing picturing one of his aunts giving birth to Akuma Hibiki.

"Are you serious your parents actually named you Devil?"

"No actually I had to earn this name." Akuma responded annoyed at Ryoga. Hearing the warning in Akuma's voice Ryoga stopped laughing and started to wonder how a child earns the Japanese word for devil as a name.

"Anyway weren't you on your way somewhere?"

"That's right! I have to get to the Tendo Dojo before Ranma and Akane do something she'll regret!" Hearing this Akuma smiled again except this time is upper lip twitched. If Ryoga knew what that meant he would've ran screaming to the mountains, for this was Akuma's I am thinking of a plan to amuse myself at your expense smile.

"Well actually I was planning on visiting my partner anyway. Why don't I join you, that way you can tell me how long you've had the hots for Akane."

Ryoga blinked in shock and was about to say something to Ranma's friend. "Relax I'm not going to try to pummel you in fact maybe I can help you. Tell you what, we'll walk to the dojo and you can tell me all about your love for Akane. Who knows, maybe I can get you to crazy kids alone in the same room for a while."

The entire saga of Ryoga was told (except parts involving a certain black piglet) while the two walked to the dojo.

"So you fell in love with Akane after she thanked you for stopping a prowler?" Akuma asked trying to sound like he believed everything he was told.

"Yeah well he was lucky that I didn't catch him." Ryoga stated forming a battle pose.

"So why are you spending most of your time alone while Akane and Ranma are possibly exploring other styles of Anything-Goes Arts?"

Ryoga turned his head away from Akuma and blushed at what he thought Akuma was implying. He then turned his head to face him.

"Why are you offering to help me?" Ryoga asked suspicious (and rightfully so) of Akuma's motives.

"It's been a slow month and I'm bored." Akuma said looking up at the sky. "Don't get me wrong Ryoga, I like Ranma but he is an idiot when it comes to women. If I had three attractive women fighting for a piece of me," he looked down at his waist and smiled as he said continued, "I would figure out a way to involve us all in a four way Indiscriminate Grappling Match." Man, this guy is a major pervert! Ryoga thought clapping his forehead. "Besides you seem more like Akane's type." Akuma continued. Ryoga beamed as he heard Akuma's last statement.

"Really you think so?" Ryoga asked, lost doggie look in his eyes.

"Yeah you two to seem to have a lot more in common," Yeah you're both really thick as bricks. Akuma thought to himself. "Yep I sincerely do but you didn't answer my question. If you want my help I need to know why you're always alone." Ryoga slowly started telling Akuma about his untreatable Directional Turrets Syndrome. This was a genetic trait inherited by the Hibiki family through out the generations. That would explain how a thirty-minute walk could last an hour and a half. Akuma thought to himself while suddenly stepping in front of Ryoga and taking the lead. "I think I should lead the way for awhile if you don't mind Ryoga," Ryoga anxious to get to the Tendo dojo gladly lets Akuma take the lead. Finally we can make it to the dojo and I can see how much I can make you suffer for insulting a demon's title.

Well what are you waiting for? Open the door; the duck spoke to Ranma once again.

"I'm just getting ready alright?" Ranma replied annoyed at the wooden duck.

You've had a whole month to get ready, a month of being insulted and challenged by a wooden duck hanging on your Fiancé's door.

"All right, all right, I'm going to do it." Ranma said breathing heavy as he reached for the doorknob.

"Do what Ranma?" A familiar female voice asked him. He turned around to see Akane wearing nothing but a towel. Ranma quickly turned his back to her before Akane could see his lower body's reaction to the sight of her dripping wet.

"Ah I was just," He looked at the wooden duck for guidance but it just hung there looking wooden (much like Ranma's lower body part). He quickly adjusted himself and turned to face Akane.

You look beautiful this morning Akane. I must have been insane to say you're un-cute. Yeah that's what I should say. Ranma thought to himself as his eyes met hers. He froze as Akane looked at him curiously.

"Well Ranma what were you going to do?" Akane asked again. She sounded just a little annoyed to be standing outside her room in nothing but a towel. Stunned Ranma said the first thing that came to his head.

"Wow Akane you smell great." Akane blinked at the strange compliment

"I just got out of the tub," she said looking at Ranma with a queer look.

"Tub yeah good idea I think I should go into the tub too." Ranma said inching his way around her. "You know, so I can smell as good as you." Akane opened her bedroom door.

"Okay Ranma I'll just stay in my room so I don't attack your girl form." She said as she stepped into her room. "Let me know when you're a guy again okay?

"Sure I'll let you know when I'm a great smelling guy again," he said as Akane shut her door. She couldn't help but giggle at Ranma's behavior in the last month. He's gotten stranger but at the same time he's also become sweeter.

Dork Ranma heard the duck criticize him as he headed towards the bathing area.

Kasumi was cooking a delightful breakfast as usual when Akane entered the kitchen. "Oh good morning Akane did you sleep well?"

"Like a baby." she said with a pleasant smile on her face.

"Hello Akane." Ryoga said entering without knocking as usual. It wasn't that Ryoga was being rude. In fact Ryoga was one of the nicer guys the Tendo sisters ever met. No, it was simply because Ryoga just could never find the front door of the dojo and usually ended coming in through a window.

"Why hello Ryoga this is a nice surprise." Akane said offering Ryoga a seat at the table as Kasumi prepared another plate.

"Speaking of surprises, I ran into a guy who says he's a friend of Ranma's." Ryoga said sitting down.

"Really who," Akane responded as she sat down next to him. As if in answer to her question the doorbell suddenly rang. "Excuse me a minute Ryoga I have to answer that. As usual Kasumi was the first at the door.

"Oh hello Akuma," Kasumi said in a friendly voice completely free of fear. Akane couldn't believe her eyes but there he was wearing the same black jacket and oversized baseball cap.

"Stupid duck," Ranma's girl form mumbled as she filled the tub with hot water. "What does it know anyway?" She said about to take off her towel. Her grumbling was interrupted by a panicked yell from downstairs: "Ranma!" She quickly ran out of the bathroom. That was Akane's voice but what could scare Akane so... As she turned the corner and saw their visitor, her question was answered.

"Akuma." Ranma said as menacingly as she could.

"Hello Ranma how have you been?" Ranma ignored the false sincerity coming out of the demon's lips. He was about to ask what Akuma wanted when he heard Akane yell again. Only this time it wasn't a yell of fear but of insane hatred

"Ranma!" He jumped back to avoid the mallet that magically appeared in Akane's hand. Oh no I forgot about the anti-saka something root that's affecting her Ranma thought to her-self as she ran back to the tub of hot water.

Ryoga found his way out of the kitchen just in time to seen an enraged Akane chasing the female Ranma while screaming:

"Get back here Ranma and take it like a man." Bewildered, Ryoga watched.

"Now what did Ranma do to Akane to piss her off this much?" Ryoga mussed out loud.

"You want a list?" Akuma asked sarcastically as he somehow appeared next to Ryoga. While the two men were talking, Ranma was running for her life.

Almost there; she thought as she stopped at the bathroom entrance. Unfortunately it gave Akane more then enough time to charge at her. Instinctively jumping back her foot slipped on the water that was slowly overflowing in the tub that Ranma forgot about. Trying to avoid falling into the tub Ranma grabbed at anything he could including; Akane. Splash they both fell into the tub. Akane found her anger subsiding as Ranma turned back into a young man.

"Oh Ranma I'm so sor..." The clicking of a camera interrupted her apology. They both looked over the tub to see Nabiki standing at the door taking pictures. The couple didn't understand for a second why she was taking pictures until they both looked down at each other. Akane's clothes were soaked thru and plastered against her skin. She was also lying down on top of naked Ranma. Both of his hands were on her breasts holding on for support. All right Akane stay calm this was an accident he, wait a minute this soap is kind of hard. A teardrop formed above her head as she found her hand on Ranma's manhood.

"Yeah baby, there's the money shot." Nabiki commented taking more pictures.

"Knock it off Nabiki!" The two-yelled simultaneously while trying to straighten out in the tub. Ranma surprised Akane by suddenly standing up knocking her in a sitting position facing his hard soap.

"Wow you two must really be glad that the daddies' are gone!" Nabiki commented taking more pictures.

Fuming Akane pushed Ranma back down and climbed out of the near empty tub. Uh oh perhaps I went too far, Nabiki thought as she weighed her options. But I couldn't miss an opportunity like this especially with the old pervert being gone. My enterprises are going down to an all-new low.

"Akane stop." Ranma calmly said grabbing a towel.

"What? Ranma are you crazy she's gone to far this time!"

"We can discuss this with her later after she talks with her business partner." Ranma stated. Nabiki eyes shot wide open.

"Business Partner, You mean..."

"Yep, Akuma,s here." Nabiki went silent and walked out of the bathroom as the couple grinned at her.

"Nabiki doesn't like having to split her profits and Akuma isn't doing much for her business interests." Akane said gleefully.

"Nope," Ranma agreed carefully walking behind Akane but keeping within poking distance. "So was it good for you?" He said smiling making the best of a bad situation. Akane started to giggle when a familiar voice interrupted them.

"Ranma how dare you?" Ryoga's voice echoed in the bathroom as he prepared to fight with his enemy since junior high school.

"Oh knock it off Ryoga, unless you really want to risk Ranma losing his towel in battle." Akane said tiring of stupid misunderstandings. "Now go back to the kitchen and I'll explain everything." Ryoga stared at Akane in confusion

"But Akane"

"Out." she said pointing to the entrance. Ryoga sulked away. Akane turned to Ranma. "Maybe we should wait until were married before you get me that wet again." She left the bathroom to allow Ranma some privacy. As she walked down the hall she had the same thought Ranma did as he got changed. What the hell was I doing just then?

Nabiki quickly went in her room and shut the door. Shit what the hell am I going to do? All right calm down Nabiki the last thing I want is Akuma seeing me afraid like this. Here thoughts were interrupted by a knock on her door. She sighed and put on here best professional face determined not to show her fear to Akuma. She opened the door to find Akuma standing there with his cap in his hands his horns fully exposed.

"Hello Miss Tendo may I come in for a couple of minutes?" Nabiki let her new business partner inside her room.

"So what do you want now Akuma?" Nabiki asked trying to sound condescending and annoyed. Akuma sighed and looked at his human partner.

"I imagine that business has been less than good for you." Nabiki was about to protest but Akuma raised his hand to silence her. "Please Miss Tendo with everything that has happened in the past two months your business ventures have been pretty much scraping the bottom of the bowl." He then pulled out a list and held it up for Nabiki to see. She sat down on her bed and proceeded to read the list.

1. With her main customer (Kuno) obsessed with his pig-tailed girl Miss Tendo's picture business is almost non -existent.

2. Ranma is being extra careful not to be changed into a woman. Because of this new pictures of the pig-tailed girl are in short supply.

3. With Happosai gone and the Pervert Wards still up, her underwear retail racket has been stopped cold.

I estimate that Nabiki Tendo will be out of business in at least three more months.

Nabiki silently fumed as she read the list. She didn't know what made her angrier the fact that his projections were accurate. Even though she still had the prints of Ranma nude, they weren't going to last forever now that all of Ranma's fiancé's minus Akane had their own prints. No, what was worse was the reason for her businesses decline was standing in her room showing her these projections. This same person, who arrogantly allowed her to be his partner, wasn't even a person at all but a demon, and now this demon was muscling' her off her own turf. Her hands became fists.

"Do you think I'll go down without a fight?" Nabiki spoke softly but was sure Akuma could hear her.

"No, no Miss Tendo you've misunderstood my intentions." Akuma said shaking his hands in a warding position. Nabiki unclenched her fingers. Akuma sat next to her on the bed and looked straight at her. "I want to make a new proposition." Nabiki brow furrowed as she listened to Akuma proposal. "How would you like to enter a new business venture and keep all the profits?" Akuma said putting his hands on hers.

Whack!

The sound of her hand hitting his face filled her room as he fell on the floor.

"I'm not even remotely interested in becoming your sex slave." She yelled out angrily while looking for something heavy to hit him with.

"My sex, No, no you didn't let me finish I mean that we sell something to the students of your school and you keep the money." Akuma blurted out inching away from her. Nabiki raised her eyebrow in a show of skepticism.

"Now why would you let me keep all the profits from this endeavor?" Akuma slowly stood up and rubbed his face.

"Because I don't need it, Trust me a couple thousand years of scheming gets you a pretty big retirement fund. I do this strictly for my amusement."

"And what would this endeavor be?" Nabiki said walking closer to Akuma like a predator closing in on her prey. He smiled and leaned against her dresser

"How many pictures do you have and how good is your dark room?

It was the strangest conversation with Ryoga that Ranma ever took part in. The three of them talked for an hour (only because it took Ryoga twenty minutes to find the kitchen). Their were no punches thrown, no kicks blocked; just them telling Ryoga the story of Happosai's Bargain (minus the part that Akuma founded the Anything-Goes style of Martial Arts), over a cup of tea and some breakfast. Ranma couldn't help but be amazed as he watched Akane keep Ryoga under control with an intense look as she finished.

"He's really a demon?" Ryoga asked wide-eyed in utter amazement.

"Yep"

"Wow I thought he sounded like that because he smoked too much or something."

"You know so did I," Akane replied.

"So what do we do now?" Ryoga asked. "Fight,"

"Nah," Ranma replied. "I'm actually getting bored kicking your butt all the time."

"Ranma stop picking on poor Ryoga!" Akane quickly interjected hoping to avoid the possible destruction of the kitchen. "Besides Ranma we have to get to class soon."

"You're right Akane. Tomorrow is Saturday and I don't want to waste it on Ryoga."

"Ranma." Akane yelled warningly at him.

"All right all right I was only kidding. Yeesh." Ranma said as he raised his hands to hold her at bay. The clock on the wall informed them that it was time to go. Akane was the first out the door, as Ranma was about to leave he turned to Ryoga.

"See you later P-Chan."

"So Miss Tendo tell me what you know about Ryoga." Akuma requested as he accompanied his partner to school. She sighed not much liking the idea of sharing information without getting something in return.

"He's an old rival of Ranma's from junior high. He has a crush on Akane." She stated. "Why?"

"There is a possibility that we can use him on our latest business endeavor." Nabiki stared at Akuma then smiled. This partnership might not be so bad after all.

"What else do you want to know?" She asked pulling out her business notebook.

At the same time Ranma and Akane also found themselves thinking about their partnership.

Was I really flirting with Akane? Ranma thought, discreetly looking at her. Geez it's not like we haven't seen each other naked before, but did I really stiffen up when I had her chest hand holds? God Ranma get a grip on yourself, you're sounding like a trashy lemon novel. His face went flush as he hopped up onto the fence rather then walk next to her and risk embarrassment. Akane barely noticed Ranma's hop onto the fence above for she was in deep thought.

What the hell was I doing talking dirty to Ranma like that? Yeah sure he's well equipped below the waistline but still did I really want to? Jeez Akane no baka! Where is this Hentai thinking coming from? She quickly glanced up at Ranma and found herself blushing.

"I think we lost Ryoga when we turned the corner."

"More likely he lost us." Ranma replied grateful for an end to the uncomfortable silence. Akane just nodded her head in silent agreement. Desperate to keep the silence at bay Ranma spoke up.

"So it's been awhile since we've seen the others you know; Mousse, Kuno, Kodachi, Ukyo and Shampoo." Akane responded by shrugging her shoulders and looking down at the sidewalk. She was trying hard to hide the red in her face until her thoughts became a little more general and less XXX. "Gee I wonder how they're doing."

Cologne wasn't surprised that Mousse was still sleeping; he didn't get home until late last night. She carefully looked into his room and saw the duck sleeping in his new pen. You're not fooling me young man pretending to be a locked up duck. Over the course of the month Cologne had tried locking up Mousse for his own good. Her concern for his welfare increased when she saw the rope burns on his wrists and she didn't even want to know why he came home one night wearing a purple leotard. But for every cage Cologne put the duck in somehow he ended up breaking out. I'll bet it's that damn cap-wearing stranger. Cologne thought to herself her brow furrowing. It was strange; even though she wanted Shampoo to marry Ranma she couldn't help but care for Mousse. Which was why she was concerned about these late night rendezvous with Kodachi. Of course she would never admit it; to do so would encourage Mousse to chase after Shampoo. The poor boy can't help him-self. He's still under the influence of the Sakuratu root, though it serves him right. This thought frustrated Cologne because it forced her to acknowledge that there was someone with more knowledge then her on Chinese Amazon History. Only the stranger can cure Mousse and I haven't seen him since last month. She left her vigil of the lovesick duck and went back to work.

"Where is that girl with the annoying laugh?" Shampoo said out loud in Mandarin. She was on the hunt for the woman who was pre-occupying Mousse's nights. She woke up that morning with one thought firm in her mind: kill Kodachi.

"Stupid annoying laugh girl make Shampoo spend too much time hunting instead of dating Ranma." She cursed in Japanese as she leaped from rooftop to rooftop. She already wasted most of the morning searching the Kuno household only to find an unmade bed with a pair of coke bottle glasses on the pillow.

"Shampoo so stupid." she said switching back in to her native tongue as she slapped her forehead, "Mu Shu will know where that annoying laugh girl is. He must know after mattress bouncing all night." The image made her retch. She headed back to the Cat Cafe a small devious smile playing on her lips.

Akane and Ranma ended up trading desks with their classmates so they could sit closer together then usual. Ranma found himself staring at Akane.

Okay I'm only doing this so Akane can help me understand the lessons better, he thought suddenly becoming self-conscious. He looked away from her to see if anyone was watching them. That was when he noticed that Ukyo's desk was empty. I wonder where Ukyo-Chan is today. He thought with some concern. For the last couple of months it seemed like Ukyo was avoiding him. Whenever he spotted her in class she just sat at her desk quietly. When he went to see her at the restaurant she was distant and quiet as she served him. He hoped she was okay she didn't seem the same since that whole love powder mess two months ago. Like any of us have been? Ranma thought to himself.

"Hello anybody home?" Ryoga asked as he found himself at Ukyo's.

"Jus keep yer pants on." he heard a familiar female voice slur. Ukyo stumbled out holding two half-empty bottles of imported beer.

"Ah itsh you Ryogu," she said sitting at a table. "Where closhed right nows." Ryoga approached Ukyo carefully.

"Have you been drinking Ukyo?" He asked as he sat down at her table. He looked across from her. She was still attractive even with her hair slightly in her face and her shirt un-tucked.

"Thish ishn't drinking, its inventory." she said taking a swig from a bottle.

"Oh okay." Ryoga said and started to get up.

"Yous shee I skipped shool today becus I had to count stuff.

"Uh huh," Ryoga muttered not really interested in her drunken ramblings.

"Lesh see 1,2,3,4 yup four peeples I destriid, sho one bottle for eash peeples." Tears started to form in her eyes seeing this stopped Ryoga from leaving. "I already finish the Jhackash, and Raman honeey noe I'm workin on Tofu and Kashumi." She took another swig and started crying. "I'm an evil bish I destroid lives for my shelfhness need." Ryoga found himself consoling Ukyo.

"There, there its okay, Look Ranma's fine okay and Kasumi looked okay this morning.

"Your jus shaying that because I'm cryng." a drunken Ukyo sniffled.

"No it's true. I was at their house this morning with Akuma."

"Whoos A Ku Ma?" Ukyo asked as she stopped sniffling.

"Well he's this guy who wears a baseball cap with a big A on it, but I found out later that he's actually a de-" His story was interrupted by Ukyo's snoring. He looked down to find her asleep on his chest. Gently he picked her up.

"Now where's her bedroom?" Ryoga asked as he carried her into the back.

Finally after taking the grand tour of Ukyo's he found her room. Carefully he put her down on the bed and turned her on her side. He gently covered her and turned to leave.

"Thanks Ryogu honey." she muttered. He stopped and turned to look at her.

It might not be a good idea to leave her alone right now she could role over and risk choking. Ryoga sighed as he sat in the corner and watched Ukyo sleep.

My pig-tailed love where are you? It has been too long since I've seen you or heard from you. Kuno sighed as he jotted his thoughts down in class. The upper classman had been worried ever since she disappeared two months ago while he was recovering from his injuries. Saotome I know your behind this and soon you will face my wrath, he thought to himself as he glowered at his desk.

In the same class Nabiki was pondering Akuma's new business proposal. It isn't a bad idea I've got all the pictures I need and he said I could keep all the profits. She found herself thinking about her new business partner. This mysterious stranger who appeared one day at her schoolyard and started selling Baka begones after returning all the panties Happosai stole to there rightful owners. Nabiki found herself annoyed at first with this young man who was muscling in on her turf. And later when it was revealed that he was demon she was terrified and surprisingly intrigued as well. A demon I can't believe that I'm in a completely business only partnership with a demon. As she got lost in thought her eyes widened and her cheeks turned a light red.

Finally the school bell rang allowing all the students freedom from their mundane classes but more importantly it allowed Nabiki to meet up with Akuma and for Ranma to meet up with Akane. Nabiki left her class and headed towards the arranged meeting place at the tennis courts.

"Akuma where are you, you demonic pain in the-"

"Ahem I'm sorry Miss Tendo, were you looking for me?" The demon said appearing behind her suddenly. Nabiki jumped.

"Will you quit doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"You know what, appearing behind everybody mysteriously. We get it, all right? You're a demon. You're spooky, and scary - ooh." Akuma stopped and blinked at Nabiki she had an annoyed look on her face. He chuckled to himself.

"Sorry old habits are hard to break," he told her as he corrected himself. Nabiki accepted the apology and prepared to discuss business strategies with her new partner.

"So about the Baka begones it would be a lot more profitable if you removed them and let the old perv get his collection back. That way you can offer your services to them for a reasonable price." Akuma shook his head.

"Forget it; do you have any idea how difficult it is to track down each owner using only their pheromones?" A shocked look appeared on Nabiki's face.

"You mean you tracked all the owners down by sniffing their panties?"

"Well how else did you except me to do it? Go door to door with a big sack and ask each victim? Excuse me miss are any of these panties yours?"

Great, so he's a panty-sniffing-demon business partner, Nabiki thought.

"It isn't something I do everyday," he said trying to get the look of shock off Nabiki's face.

"Hey Nabiki, Akuma," Akane yelled to her sister. Nabiki turned to see Ranma and Akane running to her.

"Hello Akane." Nabiki said switching to her condescending tone of voice. Both Ranma and Akane looked at Akuma threatingly.

"Now what are you up to?" Ranma asked Akuma.

"I'm sorry Ranma but that is between Miss Tendo and me."

"Why you-"

"However if you want to discuss curing Akane that can be arranged," Ten minutes later the four of them were heading to the Tendo dojo each having their own quiet moments.

What is he up to know? Ranma thought to himself as he walked beside Akane. He says he's willing to cure Akane but what price is he going to make me pay? Is it really worth it? He looked at Akane. Yeah I guess it is.

Ranma has been acting strange for the last couple of months. I'm worried he hasn't insulted me in weeks. Can our parents be right - that Ranma and me could be a couple? Her face turned a light shade of red as she looked at her fiancé glowering at Akuma.

Well this has certainly gotten interesting. Akuma's proposed pet project should indeed be very profitable indeed. But still he is a demon; which means his intentions could be less then sincere. She looked at her partner just grinning as he walked with them home. Intentions, what the hell am I thinking about? All he's been proposing is business? So why am I the one who thinking about sexual intentions?

Wow Nabiki's face is sure turning red. I hope she's feeling all right. Ranma mentally observed as he watched Nabiki's face turn a light crimson.

Look at him; that demon creep playing games with Nabiki like that. Ooh I wish I knew what his twisted brain is cooking up. Akane pondered as she also began glowering at Akuma. She watched as he smiled exposing his fangs and began nodding his head back and forth slightly. What could he be planning?

Akuma just walked with them smiling the whole way while bobbing his head ever so slightly. Ya Pa Pa, Ya Pa Pa Hiro, Hiro Hie.

"Oh my head," Ukyo moaned as she rolled on to the floor.

"Well that's what you get for drinking them Canadian beers." The response startled Ukyo out of her hang over for a second. She looked over and saw Ryoga lying on his side next to her. "Do you know you mutter Ranma's name in your sleep?"

"Oh no I didn't, you didn't? You and I didn't?" Ukyo asked the pace of her voice increasing as she questioned Ryoga.

"Didn't what?" Ryoga asked a dumbfounded look on his face.

"What do you mean what? What else does a man and a woman do that causes them to wake up beside each other?"

"Get drunk and pass out on the floor?"

"Have sex you Jack Ass!" Ukyo yelled at Ryoga.

"What! You think that you, and I...?" Ryoga asked a small hentaish scenario playing in his mind.

"Cut that out!" Ukyo screamed popping Ryoga's thought bubble.

"I can't help it." Ryoga whined as Ukyo starting touching herself.

"My clothes are still on. Your clothes are still on. You mean you..." Ukyo looked at Ryoga as he rolled over on his back.

"You weren't in any condition to put yourself to bed." Ryoga said sighing as he turned to Ukyo. "Why does everyone assume that just because I wake up next to a woman I boinked her," Ukyo began to chuckle.

"I can't believe you said boinked."

"Why's that?" Ryoga asked a smile forming on his face.

"Well it's just that..."

"Yeah go on."

"Well normally you're adorably shy around that subject."

"Adorable? You find me adorable?" Ryoga asked with a surprised expression.

"Oh come on Ryoga Honey you're telling me no girl has ever called you adorable before, that's just hard to believe."

'Not when I'm human." he murmured.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," Ryoga said turning on his back again and staring at the ceiling.

Ukyo rolled over and looked down at him.

"You know I don't know why you waste so much time going after Akane! She doesn't seem to appreciate all your good qualities."

"Like what?" Ryoga asked in a negative tone

"Well for starters you're a very nice guy, devoted, sensitive, strong, and cute." Ryoga looked up at her

"You think I'm cute?" he asked looking into her eyes. Ukyo turned away blushing.

"I mean hell yeah you're cute; which is why I don't understand why you bother with Akane when there are a lot of women looking for guys like you." She tried her best to hide her face as she blushed. His hand draped across her shoulder gently.

"Ranma doesn't deserve to have someone like you." He said as he stood up and prepared to go.

"Ryoga do you really mean that,"

"Of course I mean it," Ryoga said gently. "I mean come on you're attractive, smart, funny, generous, and caring. I'm surprised that the guys aren't knocking down your door." Ukyo rose to see Ryoga blushing. "Well uh anyway I should probably get going." He said quickly. She escorted him to the front door.

"Thank you Ryoga." she said and kissed him on the cheek. Ryoga turned a bright red.

"You're uh you're welcome." Ryoga responded as he headed for the front door as fast as he could. Bam Ukyo shook her head and giggled as Ryoga ran into the wall.

Two hours later Ryoga finally found his way outside; and started heading to the Tendo dojo. Cute and adorable, wow, he thought as he stopped at a window and looked at his reflection.

"You know she's right," he said sizing up his reflection. He closed his eyes took a deep breath and started strutting down the street. "Yeah I'm the man, how's it going ladies?" Ryoga swaggered filled with confidence.

Suddenly he found his clothes soaked and too big for him. He wanted to scream but all that came out was a little piggy squeal- BWEEE! He looked to see a familiar old lady with a bucket and ladle splashing water outside.

At the Tendo dojo everybody kept his or her eyes on Akuma, but Akuma noted that each one was looking at him differently.

Ranma was glowering at him intensely, watching his every move with vigilant scrutiny. Akane was shifting her eyes between himself and Nabiki. Her emotions shifted with her gaze; whenever she looked at Akuma it was fear and when she looked at Nabiki it turned to a look of concern. He turned his head to look at Nabiki. She had a look of confusion and uncertainty hidden behind a visage of professionalism.

"Alright out with it. You guys have been staring at me all the way home. What? Did I grow a fourth horn or something?"

"Funny I only count two." Ranma stated trying his best to sound snide.

"That you can see," Akuma responded matching Ranma's snideness.

"Where's the third one?" Nabiki asked calmly.

"Nabiki!" Akane exclaimed in disbelief.

"What? I'm curious." She turned to see the look of shock on Ranma and Akane's face. She suddenly realized what they were thinking. "Oh," she said as her face went completely red. Everyone fell into an awkward silence.

I wish something would interrupt this silence. Akane thought when something caught her eye.

"P-Chan," At the mention of her pet's name Ranma turned to see the little black piglet with the tiger striped bandanna around his neck crawl his way into the living room. Akane scooped him up. "And where have you been?" Akane asked cuddling the black piglet. Akuma looked at the black piglet with a familiar bandanna around his neck. He suddenly appeared next to Ranma.

"Why does Akane act like that around this P-Chan? Is he like her pet?"

"Yeah but he doesn't hang around that much. Do you P-Chan?" Ranma said with a teasing tone of voice. The pig glowered at Ranma intensely.

"Ranma stop picking on poor P-Chan." Akane said defending her little pet.

"So how come I didn't see this little guy the last time I was here?" Akuma asked patting P-Chan on the head.

"He seems to disappear a lot." Nabiki added in wondering what Akuma was up to.

"Really you don't say?" Akuma asked taking a closer look at P-Chan's bandanna.

"Oh he's just a wondering piggy aren't you?" Akane said in an adoring voice as she hugged him.

"Like a little piggy Ryoga." Hearing Akuma mention his human alter ego P-Chan eyes filled with fear. Akuma grinned exposing his fangs as he saw the pig's reaction.

Shit he knows. Ranma thought to himself. Now how do I stop Akuma from exposing Ryoga? But before Ranma could act Akuma simply shrugged his shoulders and smiled his upper lip twitching.

"Well as interesting as this is, I think I should get going. There are a couple of things I need to do before I can cure you Akane." Before anyone could stop him he left the living room and disappeared.

Later at the Cat Cafe Mousse once again found himself staring at the mysterious Akuma. For the past month this savior of love would help Mousse out of his cage so he could go after his beloved Sham- Hiss the sound of the hot water sizzling' his skin refocused Mousse's affection.

"It's you." They both heard an old angry voice behind him.

"Hello stick monkey." Cologne trembled angrily as she was called her disrespectful nickname.

"Old lady Cologne you know Akuma?" Mousse asked.

"Don't worry Mousse; I won't let this witch convince you to marry Shampoo anymore. Take your stuff and go." He turned his head back to Mousse.

"I'm sure the Kuno manor has more than enough room to accommodate your needs." He said winking at Mousse. Mousse smiled and prepared to leave.

"Stop Mousse, You are being bewitched but it isn't by me." She turned to look at the young man whose name she just learned. "Akuma is not your friend he's a demon."

"What?" Mousse shouted he turned towards Akuma. "Is this true? Are you..."

"Yup I'm a visitor from the Demon Underworld." Akuma answered taking off his cap. Mousse looked at the two horns and scratched his head in confusion.

"I'm a Passion Demon Mousse. I specialize in making rather unique relationships work." The two of them were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Mousse, oh Mousse." a young Chinese voice was calling out.

"Time to go," And before anyone could stop him Akuma grabbed Mousse and darted out of the Cat Cafe

"Great Grandma who was that?" Shampoo asked Cologne.

"His name is Akuma Shampoo dear, and he's nothing but bad news."

So how come the pig has no trouble getting inside this late to see her and your standing out here like a fool?

"Oh shut up duck." Ranma said quietly as he looked at Akane's door. He sighed and walked away. Everyone was asleep except for him.

"Might as well get some sleep." he muttered. Akuma was waiting for him when he got to his room.

"Oh no what do you want?" he asked the demon as he rubbed his eyes. The demon pulled a vial of red powder out of his pocket.

"I want you to take Akane out on a date."

"What? Ranma asked blinking his eyes.

"I want you to take Akane out on a nice date. And of course I'll cure her before you two leave. Also I want you to take her some place were you two won't be interrupted by your other love interests. That means no Ukyo's and definitely no Cat Café." Ranma was still stunned at Akuma's request

"Why, what's in it for you?"

"Do you want me to undo the spell or don't you?" Akuma asked crossing his arms

"All right say I agree to do it? There still no guarantee that no one else will interfere.

"Like Ryoga? Or should I say P-Chan?" Ranma sighed.

"I was afraid that you figured it out."

"Oh come on it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. P-Chan appears shortly after Ryoga arrives. And even more obvious he's wearing the same stupid bandanna." Ranma listened as Akuma went on his tirade.

"So why didn't you expose him?"

"What and interfere with Akane's fun?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ranma asked angrily.

"Oh come on Ranma either Akane is the densest person on the planet, or-" he appeared next to Ranma' head and whispered in his ear. "She knows and is just a kinky two timing tramp?"

Bamm! Akuma found himself floored, as Ranma's fist seemed to have a life of its own. Ranma's face was an angry purple color

"You're dead." Ranma said through clenched teeth.

"Why afraid that I'm right?" Akuma asked as he waved the vial in front of Ranma's face. "Tell you what Ranma, I'll give you chance to prove me wrong. I'll arrange a nice place for you two to go; and if you agree to let me teach you a technique, I'll make sure that nobody interferes with your date."

"Forget it. I'm not making any deals with you."

"What no faith in Akane? Or is it you have no idea how to really date a woman? Maybe you were better off engaged to Kuno? At least then you didn't have to make the hard decisions." Ranma gritted his teeth and clenched his fist and approached Akuma.

"Fine I'll take Akane out and we'll both have a wonderful time; providing where you send us isn't a dive, and you can keep everyone away from us. Now where is this place?"

Akuma pulled a flyer from his pocket. It was an advertisement for the Kooky Karaoke Cafe.

"Wow that's one of the most popular joints in the city. I can't afford that."

"All right I'll loan you the money." Akuma sighed. He then pulled out a contract.

"What's this for?" Ranma asked reading over the contract looking at the very small print. He looked at Akuma in disbelief.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"It's your choice Ranma. Agree to my terms or the deal is off. Then you can figure out how to keep the tomboy from attacking your feminine side." Seeing no way out Ranma signed his name on the dotted line.

"Well I would advise you to get some sleep lover boy; tomorrow is going to be a busy day for ya." Ranma then watched Akuma leave his room.

"Man what have I just got myself into" Ranma sighed, as he got ready for bed.

Mousse found himself once again sneaking into the Kuno household. He could still remember the first night Akuma put these arrangements into effect. It all started in the back room of the Cat Cafe a flashback started to take effect at this point.

"Hello Mousse. How are you doing?" The duck woke up to see Akuma standing there with a collection of robes each one very fashionable with a different design featuring a duck and a black rose in every one. Since then he considered Akuma his best friend. How could he not, Akuma had been nothing but helpful and generous to Mousse.

He's given me these great looking robes; also he helps me to see my beloved Kodachi.

But because of Shampoo's death threat he always met Kodachi in one of the secret passages within the Kuno household, which was just as well. Mousse found it quite thrilling being with Kodachi as they both watched Shampoo looking for them and when she finally left, he found himself paralyzed in Kodachi's bed. But lately she hasn't been paralyzing me that much. His thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice, which pulled him back to the present time.

"Hey Mousse how's it going eh?" Mousse turned to see his demonic best friend standing behind him with a blue envelope in his hands.

"Akuma, What are you doing here?" Mousse said approaching the demon.

"I forgot to give you this." He said handing Mousse the envelope.

"What's this?" Mousse asked looking at the envelope.

"Open it and find out." Mousse tore open the envelope and pulled out a fancy looking invitation

You and a guest are cordially invited to Shai Swank for our fiftieth Anniversary Dinner.

Also attached was a note.

Dear Mousse

I hope you and Kodachi will do me the honor of joining us. Don't worry about the cost it already taken care of; just be sure to dress formal and have fun.

Sincerely

Akuma

"Mousse Mon-Cheri," Kodachi said appearing from the darkness of the secret passage.

"Kodachi." Mousse whispered in awe and dropped the letter when he saw what she was wearing. He also didn't notice that Akuma had disappeared. Instead of her usual purple leotard she was wearing a red robe with pictures of rose petals. And to top it off she untied her ponytail and let her hair drape down across her shoulders. She was carrying a single candle to illuminate the dark passage. Approaching him gently she took off his glasses.

"Kodachi you look - I mean you're beautiful." And for the first time since he's known her Mousse thought he saw Kodachi blush. Of course it was hard to tell without his glasses.

Unknown to both the young lovers Akuma didn't leave when Mousse dropped off the invitation, but instead snuck into Tati Wati's bedroom. Taking one of the candles off the elder Kunos' dresser he lit it then knelt down next to the sleeper's ear and cleared his throat.

"Master Kuno its time for your bedtime story." he said perfectly imitating his manservant's voice. "This is the story about a brave knight who fell in love with a pig-tailed princess who mysteriously disappeared one day.

"Pig-tailed girl," Kuno murmured in his sleep as Akuma began putting his fingers in shadow puppet formation. Akuma mastered his fingers into a girl Ranma silhouette. The shadow puppet opened her mouth and cried out.

"Kuno, my beloved Kuno please help me." The now lucid Kuno watched the demonic shadow puppet show as the Ranma silhouette spoke again.

"Please all I wanted was to pick some flowers for my bouquet. Please let me go." The shadow changed from girl-Ranma into a male with a huge mouth and two little fangs.

"Shut up girl you are now a prisoner of Ryoga Hibiki," he said in a sinister tone. "Now be good and do what you're told and I won't hurt you."

The shadow changed into two smaller shadows one was of girl-Ranma cringing, the other was of Ryoga advancing towards her. Kuno watched as the wall went black. Suddenly bright red letters appeared on the wall.

Due to the graphic nature of this scene it has been blocked out of this shadow presentation. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

The final shadow was of girl-Ranma crying: "Oh Kuno darling please help me." The show then faded to black as Akuma quietly left Kuno tossing and turning. He shook his hand rigorously as he exited the room.

Demon Dexterity only allows so much; shadow puppets for fuck sakes. The demon thought to him-self as he left the household.

"Three down, three to go." He grinningly mused to himself.

It was roughly 3:00 am when Akuma returned to the Cat Cafe. Everybody was asleep so Akuma encountered no resistance as he walked to Shampoo's bedroom. He opened the door slowly and walked in. He twitched, ducked and rolled a second before the bonbori struck the floor.
"All set for a Kodachi hunt?" He asked grinning at Shampoo.

Shampoo blinked at Akuma.

"You, What you want?" Shampoo asked the demon that defeated her great grandmother.

"Didn't Stick Monkey tell you? I want to court you." Shampoo blinked twice then smirked.

"Stupid demon you can no court Shampoo. Only Ranma can court Shampoo."

"Funny according to-" he cleared his throat and then spoke: "Three Thousand Years of Chinese Amazon History-" He said in a perfect mockery of Cologne's voice. "That if any man defeats the teacher of an Amazon warrior who is already engaged he then has the right to court that Amazon for three days. This allows him time to convince the Amazon to choose him as a husband instead of her suitor." A look of shock and disgust formed on Shampoo's face.

"You must be joking! Shampoo never change mind especially because of you."

"Regardless I still get a chance to change your mind." Shampoo just glared at him, as she saw no point in arguing with a demon that knew Amazon law better then she did.

"So how you plan to waste Shampoo's time?" she asked.

"You ever hear of a restaurant called Shai Swank?" he asked grinning. Shampoo just blinked and stared at his fangs.

Akuma left his date at the Cat Cafe and proceeded to his second to last target. He yawned as he approached Ukyo's. Almost done thank darkness. Even I need sleep but right now I need to look more remorseful. Pondering this he put his hands over his face and began forming his false sincerity look. Much better.

Ukyo tossed and turned on her sleep roll as the image of Ryoga gently putting his hand on her shoulder kept filling her head.

"I mean come on: you're attractive, smart, funny, generous, and caring. I'm surprised that the guys aren't knocking down your door." She could still hear Ryoga's kind words to her.

"No I'm engaged to Ranma Honey." she protested the mental picture of Ryoga slowly turned into Ranma. "Besides-she muttered in her sleep, Ryogu's-(As she said this she smiled) still obsessed with Akane." She suddenly felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. Nudging it off, she felt it again.

"Ryoga." she muttered rubbing her eyes. Turning around she saw that it wasn't Ryoga but the mysterious stranger that saved her from an obsession with Mousse. He was wearing the same black jacket and oversized baseball cap he was wearing when they first met.

"You what are you doing here?" she asked covering herself up.

"Oh Miss Ukyo a terrible thing has happened involving your boyfriend Ryoga." The stranger said looking upset.

"Ryoga, Boyfriend," She shook her head to clear the cobwebs. "Ryoga's not my boyfriend."

"My apologies Miss Ukyo it's just, that well, you were moaning his name in your sleep." Hearing that about herself caused her cheeks to turn red. She then shook her head.

"Just how long have you been here watching me sleep?" she asked annoyed at the stranger.

"Not long I just stepped in when I heard you moaning OOOHHH Ryoga," The stranger said mocking Ukyo's voice.

Ukyo's face went completely flush "Ah you were saying something about a terrible thing."

"Oh yes terrible indeed, somehow during a struggle Ryoga and Ranma's female alias both got exposed to Sakuratu root," the stranger said seemingly distressed. Ukyo eyes shot wide open.

"You mean Ranma honey and Ryoga are..."

"I saw them covered in powder close to a tool shed." He shook his head looking distraught. "I was too late to stop them." A shocked look appeared on

Ukyo's face

"Stop them, stop them from what?" Oh god please let him say from killing each other.

"Look I didn't actually see what they were doing but I heard a woman moaning OOOHHH Ryoga like you were a couple minutes afterwards." He said his face matching the color of his hair.

Thummp! Akuma watched as Ukyo head hit her pillow as she passed out from the shock. The idea of Ranma and Ryoga bumping uglies was just too much for her to handle.

"Poor girl I guess I did exaggerate everything a bit," Akuma said with a chuckle as he prepared to leave. He took off his cap and left it on Ukyo's head so she wouldn't mistake the conversation for a dream. He then brushed the hair from his eyes and reached into his jacket withdrawing another oversized baseball cap with a big red A on the front. Leaving he took one last glance at Ukyo who looked like she was having a really bad dream.

Akuma returned to the Tendo household holding a small red flask. He carefully snuck inside and went towards the stairs leading to the Tendo sister's bedroom. He was like a shadow silent and undetectable as he prepared to put the final step of the first phase of his plan in action.

"Oh Hello Akuma," the always cheerful voice of Kasumi spoke from behind him.

Damn morning people, Akuma mentally cursed. He turned around to see her unassuming smile.

"I'm sorry Akuma." Kasumi spoke softly; "But everyone is still asleep. Would you like some tea while you wait for Nabiki to wake up?" Akuma blinked twice looking at Kasumi. She's just like an angel, he thought, as he looked at her sweet face, blissfully and annoyingly stupid.

"I would be pleased to have a cup of tea with you Kasumi," he said, his upper lip twitching slightly. Ten minutes later the angel and the demon were sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea.

"So tell me Kasumi, do you have a boyfriend?" The questioned startled Kasumi so much that she nearly choked on her tea.

"No I really have been to busy to really meet that many men," she responded to the question with a quizzical look in her eye. "Why?"

"Well it's just that I figured a woman like you would be married by now, it seems to me that you would make a good wife to some lucky suitor." Akuma said while drinking his tea slowly.

"Maybe someday." she mused almost sadly.

"Oh is there someone you're considering?" He put his teacup down gently as he asked her this question.

"No!" Kasumi said defensively as her face went flush.

"Ah I see you have never really experienced a man have you?" Akuma was like a wild animal stalking his prey as he questioned her.

"I don't believe that is an appropriate question." Kasumi stated sounding annoyed. This reaction caught Akuma by surprise. He smiled and continued his interrogation.

"Now I don't see how you can sleep so calmly with the Saotome men and Ryoga around the house.

"I have no interest in young men; they bore me." Kasumi was starting to get angry. Her muscles were tense and she found herself actually forming a fist with her fingers. "And as for Mr. Saotome he's my father's best friend and it wouldn't be proper."

"But you must realize that there is no real parental supervision and both Ranma and Ryoga are at that age when a man becomes a hormonal time bomb. Now Ranma has Akane but when Ryoga sleeps over and well- perhaps I've said too much."

"Yes you have. Please leave." Kasumi said pointing to the kitchen exit.

"As you wish Kasumi, I met no disrespect it's just that you are a very attractive young woman I myself would pursue you if I was a couple thousand years younger," That and really, really and boy do I mean really drunk.

He left the kitchen and went up the stairs (Kasumi didn't indicate that she wanted him to leave the house just the kitchen) to Akane's bedroom. He opened her door quietly and crept inside. She was on her bed outstretched on her back. She was sleeping peacefully. Underneath a clenched fist however was a smooshed P-Chan. Pulling the red flask from his jacket pocket he approached the smooshed up piglet. Gently he grabbed P-Chan and waved the flask underneath his nose. The pig stirred for a second sniffed the bottle and was soon out cold.

With the black piglet under his arm he left Akane's bedroom. He was about to go back down the stairs then quickly turned around. Very quietly he went into Kasumi room. Five minutes later he came out. I'll be damned (more than before) no sign of a crack pipe or any kind of uppers what so ever. He passed by Nabiki's door and opened the door a crack and peaked in. Akuma sighed as he watched her sleep for a couple of seconds before closing the door again and going down the stairs to Ranma's room.

Soon after he left the house with everything he needed including P-Chan. let the fun begin. Akuma thought to himself as he began chuckling quietly.

Ranma stretched as he woke up then wiped his eyes. "Man did I really agree to take Akane for a night on the town?" he questioned himself

"Yep you did."

Ranma jumped and turned to see Akuma lying down beside him.

"Talk about waking up to the wrong face in the morning huh?" Akuma said winking at Ranma.

"Oh god please god, tell me we didn't sleep together!" Ranma said his eyes wide open in panic

"Oh we did and I have to tell you its really hard for me to get into the mood when you're moaning Akane's and Kuno's name all night." Ranma looked like he was about to throw up when Akuma started bursting into the laughter. He hit the floor rolling in hysterical laughter.

"Man I had you going for a while didn't I?" He stopped to wipe the tears from his blood shot eyes.

"Like I would really sleep with your skanky ass in either form," He then jumped up and faced Ranma. "But anyway let's get down to business are you ready to learn that technique now?"

"Like I have any choice?" Ranma said grimacing at the prospect of being Akuma's student Akuma smiled and approached Ranma. Then before Ranma could stop him he palm striked Ranma's chest and then slapped him in the face.

What the hell did he do that for? Ranma thought. Mouth went into gear.

"What were you thinking hitting me like that?" Ranma asked then stopped as he realized what he was saying.

What did that son of a bitch do to me? He thought confused.

"What did you do to me you infernal creature?" Akuma delighted in Ranma's confusion.

"It's called the Sainoeviltonone technique. A demon overlord created it to drive his opponents to distraction." He began circling Ranma as he continued to explain the technique to Ranma.

"Basically even I have no idea how it works, all I know is that this technique keeps you from saying anything negative or harmful to anyone." He finished his explanation and reached into his pocket.

"You mean I can't insult anyone, not that unfortunate soul Ryoga or that nuisance Kuno?

"Not exactly, more like your actions will be censored. Think of it this way: you're a cartoon character in a little kids show. This means that are certain things you can't say but on the plus side this will also keep you from putting your foot in your mouth when you ask Akane if she will go out with you tonight." He opened his mouth to yawn but what came out sounded more like a bear's yawn than a human's.

"Well even though I appreciate the effort Akuma; I am concerned about how long this will last." Ranma said angry at the fact that those weren't the words he chose to say.

"To tell you the truth I'm not really sure. You're the first human this technique has been tried on so I'm not quite sure of all the effects just yet."

"What? You tried a technique on me without knowing how long this God forsaken thing will last?"

"Hey a deal's a deal. Now go up there and ask Akane out tonight, you stud. And don't worry about a thing I've already taken care of all the details." He then pointed Ranma towards the direction of Akane's bedroom and went back to bed.

"Yes I've made sure that all the details were taken care of," he muttered as he grinned and went to sleep.

Ryoga groped around in the darkness. Now where am I? He thought. And why is it so cold? He felt his body and learned the reason for his shivers.

"Come out you scoundrel." he heard Kuno's voice cry out.

Clothes have to find clothes. He scrambled in the darkness looking for something to cover himself with when he felt his pants. Finding his shirt also he quickly got dressed and went out to confront Kuno.

"What do you want?" Ryoga asked stumbling out of the tool shed. Kuno raised his sword in a challenging manner and seemed even angrier then before.

"Tell me what you did with my pig-tailed princess!"

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." Ryoga said responding to Kuno's challenge.

"Liar, you attempt to deceive me when the evidence of your crimes is on your skin." Kuno pointed at Ryoga's clothes. A look of complete shock came over Ryoga's face as he found himself wearing a red training shirt and black training pants.

"I will ask you one more time what did you do with the pig-tailed girl?"

"Yes Ryoga Honey what exactly did you do with the pig-tailed girl?" A familiar voice came from behind him.

Ryoga turned around to see a really pissed of Ukyo standing behind him. She seemed even angrier as she saw Ryoga wearing Ranma's clothes. His hair completely messed up he looked like he was tossing and turning all night or doing something worse.

In short Ryoga found himself unarmed and stuck between a rock and a hard place as two very angry suitors of Ranma advanced on him.

Is this the end of our Eternal Lost Boy? Stay Tuned.

Same Hibiki computer. Same Hibiki fanzine.

TBC