The blood would not come off. I tried so hard to wash that damn beautifully disgusting liquid off my hands, but it stays there, mocking me. I killed them. I killed my mother, my uncle and everyone who tried to get close to me. I'm alone now. It's what I wanted. It's what I had always wanted. To be left alone and to love only me. I've won. I'm alone.
"Was it even worth it?"
I scream at myself and everything around me. The forest around this river is silent now. The birds have all gone, and the animals too. I laugh now, a sad, humorless sound.
"Here's to winning this again, and again. Back then, I didn't care what it cost. Now, I don't wanna know."
My head is hanging, my palms are shaking. I need someone to help me. I'm hurt. I'm not bleeding, but my chest aches with an unrelenting pain. Then, there she was. Her purple eyes stare at me with concern, not fear, and I'm relieved. I had seen her during the chunnin exams. She was shy, but brilliant. She didn't give up. Not ever. She brought me food when I was on her roof, watching the sky. She doesn't sleep much either. She would sit with me, never saying anything, but just being close to her made me realize that I was sane, but just troubled. She makes me feel human as she steps closer to me and drops to her knees to wrap her arms around my shoulders. The full moon shines down on us as I hold her close and cry on her shoulder for the first time in my whole life. I hear her voice for the first time now as she tells me that I'm okay. I'm okay. She told me so, so it must be true. I trust her with my life.
I love her.
I tell her that and she cries as she tells me what I've w n anted to hear for so long.
"I love you too, Garra."