Hey, thanks so much to everyone who reviewed my last story and in advance to whoever has anything to say about this one.
Disclaimer: Shockingly, I don't own any of the characters or the show. Just the train of thought that keeps me distracted during the day.
Kevin has a thing for Macy
Kevin had a thing for Macy.
He wasn't quite sure how or when it had happened, but at some point along their accidentally-abusive friendship he'd developed a thing for Macy.
It could have been her giggle, or her enthusiasm, or her smile, or her athletic ability, or her keen sense of understanding, but whatever it was, there was something about her that just flipped a switch in him, and before Kevin could understand what was happening, he had developed a thing for Macy Misa.
At least he could console himself in knowing that he was good at hiding it.
***
"You have a thing for Macy," Nick told Kevin one afternoon when he walked into their bedroom and found that Joe wasn't there.
"What?" Kevin asked, making both himself and Nick wince at the high pitch of his voice.
"Well, that's convincing," Nick answered. "You have a thing for Macy. It's obvious."
"I…" Kevin sighed as he realised his protest was hopeless. "How did you find out?"
"Three points shy of a genius," Nick sang as he made his way to his bed. "Plus I accidentally grabbed your science notebook this morning instead of mine and her name is written all over the inside cover."
Kevin grunted in frustration. Not only had Nick found out about his thing for Macy, but he'd also made Kevin look like an idiot that morning when Mr. Carp had asked him about mitosis and Kevin hadn't been able to find his notes and the answer. He'd never asked for brothers really…
"So, when are you going to ask her out?" Nick asked, flipping through a magazine as he sat on his bed.
"So, never."
"What? Why not?"
"Stay out of it."
"Maybe we could—"
"No."
"But what if we—"
"No."
"Or she would love it if—"
"If I decide to ask Macy out," Kevin told his little brother, grabbing his history book and getting up from his chair, "I'll get an actual genius to help me."
Nick didn't say anything more about Kevin's thing for Macy.
***
"You have a thing for Macy."
"Nick," Kevin growled under his breath.
"Nick knows?" Joe asked as he spun around in circles with his arms spread out.
Kevin watched him for a while, wondering how it was that he usually passed as the dopiest brother. He shook his head. "Wasn't he the one who told you?"
"No. You talk in your sleep."
"About Macy?"
"Among other things. Often it's fans. Sometimes platypus."
"Platypus," Kevin said, nodding his head as his eyes focussed on something far away only he could see.
"The point being, you have a thing for Macy. And please don't try to deny it, because you're high lying voice is just too freaky for words."
"Fine," Kevin sighed.
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing? What? Kevin you have to assert yourself. You have to tell her the truth. You have to—"
"Joe?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm not taking advice on this subject from a guy who has been harbouring a crush on his best friend since he was seven and just won't man up and tell her."
Joe's jaw dropped. After a moment he shrugged and sat on the recliner next to Kevin's. "That'll work for me, but how did you get Nick to leave you alone?"
"I told him that I would ask a real genius if I wanted help with this."
"Do you think that'll work for me the next time he's on my case about Stella?"
"No. It's Nick. He's probably been doing nothing but thinking of comebacks for that line since I said it."
"Damn."
Joe didn't say anything more about Kevin's thing for Macy.
***
"You have a thing for Macy."
"Joe," Kevin mumbled under his breath as he tried to hide in his locker.
"You know, you shouldn't accuse people of telling your secrets unless you're sure they did," Stella chided as she moved around the locker door to see Kevin's face.
"Well then how did you find out?"
"Oh, Joe told me, but still. Nick didn't tell him, and you were all ready to accuse him of the same thing."
"Could we not talk about this?"
"No. Absolutely not. We are going to talk about this."
"Stella, I don't want to talk about it."
"Kevin, you should just ask her out. She'd be thrilled."
"She'd faint."
"But then she'd pop right back up and be thrilled again."
"It's just not going to happen, Stella."
"Why not? Why don't you just tell her you have a thing for her?"
"Why don't you just tell Joe you have a thing for him?"
"Me? I don't… 'Cause we just… Really good friends and…" Stella's eyes wandered the hall as she scratched the side of her head.
"That's what I thought," Kevin said, closing his locker door and moving away from the girl.
Stella didn't say anything more about Kevin's thing for Macy.
***
"You have a thing for me."
"What?"
"You have a thing for me."
Kevin felt himself blush as he ducked his head and stared at his shoes. Lucky shoes his—
"Stupid Joe and Nick and Stella."
"What?" Macy asked.
"They weren't supposed to tell you."
"Huh?"
"They weren't supposed to tell you that I had a thing for you. Just like we aren't ever supposed to talk about the fact that Joe and Stella have a thing for each other. You see?"
Macy looked confused. She nodded. "Oh! You have a thing for me." Her eyes suddenly widened, and she froze. "Wait. You have a thing for me?"
"Isn't that what you said?"
"I meant you had a thing for me because coach said she gave you the roster sheet for our next hockey game when she couldn't find me after science class. I didn't mean you had a thing for me," she said, pronouncing the last three words slowly. "I meant you had a thing for me."
"Oh." Kevin opened his locker and took out the folder he'd forgotten Coach Cleason had given him. "Right. I have a thing for you. Here you go."
"But you said—"
"Yeah. Good luck with the game."
Macy watched as Kevin slammed his locker shut, stumbled over her lacrosse stick, and raced down the school hallway.
Macy didn't say anything more about Kevin's thing for her.
***
"So you have a thing for Macy."
"What?" Kevin asked in surprise. He was much worse at hiding things than he thought he was if even Van Dyke Tosh knew about his secret crush.
"I said you and Macy are a thing."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"No, you… Okay, then— Wait, what?"
"You and Misa. You're a thing now, right?"
"Why would you say that?"
"That's what everyone's saying."
Kevin thought about it for a moment.
Nick, Joe, Stella, and Macy had effectively stopped talking about his thing for Macy in the last two weeks. But the day after he'd given Macy the hockey roster, she'd waved at him with a shier smile than usual from across the hall. She'd practically lifted Nick out of his seat at the lunch table so she could sit next to Kevin. She'd given him her bow and arrow to carry to the gym after school, which he'd very much appreciated, just able to imagine the amount of damage she could cause with the thing.
And the day after that, she'd tagged along for his daily walk through the atrium. She'd kept hold of his hand when she'd tripped over her shoelaces and a quick grab from Kevin had stopped her from tumbling to the ground. She'd kissed him on the cheek when he offered her one of his chocolate chip cookies.
Then she'd shown up at the firehouse to watch a football game.
And she'd joined the family for supper one night when helping him with his English homework had lasted longer than expected.
And she kept telling him about how she didn't have a date for the school dance happening next week.
"So are you guys a thing or not?" Van Dyke asked. "Because Stella is being kind of weird, and I was thinking that I could just ask Macy to next week's dance because she's cool too. If you're not a thing. She's cool if you are a thing, but I won't ask her. I'm a team player like that. I won a team player award once."
Van Dyke didn't have a chance to say anything more about Kevin's thing with Macy as the eldest Lucas boy raced down the hall and away from the conversation.
***
"I have a thing for you."
"Huh?"
"I have a thing for you."
"Um, like a literal, object thing?"
"Nope," Kevin said as he leaned against the wall next to Macy's locker.
"Okay. Um, didn't we cover this the other day?"
"No. I very adamantly avoided this the other day."
"And now?"
"And now I don't want Van Dyke to ask you to the dance."
"Oh."
"Yes."
"So because you don't want Van Dyke to ask me out, you're telling me that you have a thing for me?"
"Yes," Kevin answered with a happy nod. His head froze when he saw Macy's expression. "No. No. I mean, yes I don't want Van Dyke to ask you out, but no that's not why I'm telling you that I have a thing for you. Well, yes it is, but I'm also telling you because it's the truth, and you should know, and because I was thinking…"
"Yeah?" Macy asked when Kevin's pause lasted too long.
Kevin leaned in, whispering with his lips dangerously close to Macy's ear. "There's a rumour going around school that you and I are a thing."
"I didn't start that," Macy told him, jumping back. "I seriously didn't. I might have at one time, but I didn't at this time."
Kevin smiled as though she hadn't said anything. "And I was thinking that the best way to end a rumour…"
Macy's eyes narrowed and her right foot tapped against the floor. "You better not be asking me to take pictures of you with a mystery girl."
"…is really just to make it not be a rumour anymore."
"Because if you do, I will…" Macy paused as she tried to figure out what Kevin had just said. "Wait, what?"
Kevin smiled as he leaned down and breeched the space between them to give Macy a soft kiss. "Macy, you want to be a thing with me?"
Macy didn't move for longer than Kevin was comfortable with, and then she let out a high pitch, almost insane, giggle. Kevin's eyes widened.
"Sorry, that was a girly-girl boy-happy giggle, not a super-fan giggle, I promise."
"Good," Kevin said with a sigh of relief. He smiled and reached out to grab her hand. "So, what do you say? You want to be a thing?"
"Well," Macy shrugged as she slipped her fingers between his and shut her locker. "As long as we remember who had a thing for whom first."
Kevin's eyebrows furrowed as he thought about that. "I'm pretty sure that was you."
"No."
"Yeah, before we even met, actually."
"No."
"You have a fan club dedicated to me!"
"Dedicated to Jonas," Macy corrected as they walked down the hall together.
"I'm in Jonas."
"Not right now you're not. Right now you're just Kevin Lucas."
"Of Jonas."
"Not really."
"Yes, really."
"No."
Kevin shook his head as he opened the door to the school for her. "You still liked me first."
"No, you had a thing for me first."
"I had a thing for you after you had a thing for me."
"No, that would make you second. I'm saying you were first."
"So are you admitting that you were second at something?"
Macy bit her lip as she thought about the question. "No."
"So you were first?"
"I had a thing… No, you had a thing first."
"So you came in second."
"No."
Their voices slowly faded away as they walked further and further from the school.
"Ahh," Stella cooed as she watched them go. "They're so cute together."
"Cute? We stayed after school to see if anything would finally happen between them, and what does? An argument. They're arguing. What are the chances that becoming a thing causes a fight between them that breaks them up? Are we taking bets on how long they'll last?"
"Joe!" Stella yelled, slamming her hand against his stomach. "Don't be mean. They're adorable."
"No, they're not. Right, Nick?" Joe looked around the hallway, confused. "Where's Nick?"
"So Joe," Stella asked, seemingly unfazed by Nick's disappearance, "do you think you would have the courage to tell a girl if you had a thing for her?"
"I don't have a thing."
"But if you did?"
"Kevin didn't tell Macy he had a thing for her. He accidentally let her know."
"So you would have to accidentally let a girl know? Like, she would have to ask you if you had a thing for her meaning a literal thing and you would think she meant a theoretical thing?"
"I don't have a thing."
"No, but, I mean, hypothetically speaking."
"Well, would you tell a guy if you had a thing for him?"
"I don't… I don't have a thing for anyone."
"Yes, you do."
Stella's eyes widened. "I do not. Maybe you have a thing for someone."
"No, you do. You have a thing for Van Dyke," Joe told her. "You get all girly and annoying when he's around."
"I don't have a thing for Van Dyke. But I will have a thing for you if you keep this up."
"You will?" Joe asked in surprise. "Wait, what?"
"A nice punch in the face."
"See, there you go all violent again."
"Well, there you go all deserving it again."
"I never did anything to deserve this kind of treatment," Joe protested, opening the school door for Stella.
"You never did anything not to deserve it."
"How does that even make sense?"
"It just does."
"You're not even trying anymore."
"You're not even trying anymore."
"You're just repeating what I say now."
"You're just… oh."
"Yeah."
"Shut up."
"You shut up."
"Now who's repeating who?"
"Who's repeating whom."
"I'll whom you…"
Nick furrowed his brow as he watched his brother and Stella become smaller and smaller in the distance. He'd wait until they were too far for him to catch up before starting for home. He certainly didn't want to make himself part of that argument.
"I think Joe has a thing for Stella."
"What?" Nick asked, surprised to suddenly find Van Dyke next to him.
"Or Stella might possibly have a thing for Joe."
"You should tell them that," Nick said after a short pause, as he patted Van Dyke on the shoulder.
"I should?"
"Sure. Why not? It worked for Kevin, didn't it?"