Zetsumei no Yochimu

by Lionna Mouri

My completed series!!!!! ^_^ Yoai (mildly); and other warnings listed within. At the end of the series, Duo is found to be severly ill -- possibly dying. The others find out one by one. find out how everyone reacts, if Duo can hold up his attitude, and wh

~~~~~
Series: Zetsumei no Yochimu
Part: One of Six [unedited]
Part Title: Discovery
By: Shinigami Goddess (Lionna)
E-mail: shinigami_goddess@netzero.com
Rating: PG-13ish
Warnings: EW has not and will not happen for this story, MAJOR Relena bashing, some
language, angst. Mild shonen-ai/yaoi hints.
Pairings: 3x4/4x3 (implied), 1+2 eventually
Started: June 26, 2000 Completed: July 5, 2000
~~~~~
~~~ Prologue ~~~
"No need for tears, please promise not to cry," the boy whispered.

Tossing and turning over on his makeshift bed on the floor, a shorthaired boy moaned softly in his sleep as
tears began to sparkle down his face.

"Don't… don't cry for me…" the voice whispered again in his dream state.

/No… don't leave…/ The tears shone on his face within the dim light of the room. /Why must you go…? How
did you ever find out about this… Why…?/

~~~ Some Months' Time Earlier ~~~
"Group hug! C'mon guys, group hug!" Duo somehow managed to snag the other four into a brotherly
embrace. He poked the others in the ribs while giving a cheeky smile before saying, "Lighten up a bit! We
have to go and celebrate!"

Quatre was about to intervene when a voice shouted out through the hangar. "Heero, you're alright, thank
God!" Relena Peacecraft brushed past the other pilots, causing Quatre some off balance. Trowa briefly
glared at the obsessive girl before righting his lover in time to see a wince.

"Quatre…?" Duo questioned tentatively, tearing his gaze from Relena clamping onto Heero's arm. "Oi, man,
daijoubu desu ka?" The blonde responded with a weak nod, and Duo's eyes snapped to where Quatre was
holding his side tightly. Grimly Duo moved over and forced Quatre's hand out of the way. "Like hell you're
alright," he muttered bitterly as he watched a few droplets of blood float in the low gravity.

Trowa was numb with shock and clutched Quatre a little steadier. "I'm getting you to Sally." To Relena he
said, "Where's the medic area?"

Startled from her flirtations with Heero, Relena blinked quizzically at Trowa. "Nani? Medics?"

Duo suddenly blew up at her, "Yes, the medics! Where are they?! If you hadn't been so fucking obsessed
over Yuy you might have realized that Quatre's lost and still losing precious amounts of blood!"

Stunned silence followed the American's outburst. The sound of a door hissing open brought them all back
to reality. A group of people rushed to the five pilots. Familiar faces consisted of Howard, Noin, Une, and
luckily Sally. "Quatre needs medical attention immediately. Please see to it," Trowa said calmly to Sally. The
older woman quickly took hold of Quatre and ran a visual check as she led him away.

Trowa stared, detached, after Quatre for a while and then turned back. Relena had moved from Heero's
side to stand before Duo with a fuming look. Duo's eyes were flashing angrily behind his smile that could
also pass as a smirk.

"What were you saying before?" Relena all but hissed, trying to keep her calm. Everyone was rather startled
since they hadn't expected the argument and disagreements between Relena and Duo to be that bad.

"Nothing of importance to you since it doesn't deal with Heero Yuy," the American countered. The furious
blush that crept onto Relena's cheeks made Duo grin with triumph. Noin moved forward to sort out what
was going on when a resounding crack stopped her.

Duo had faltered back and had it not been for the low gravity he would have been sitting on the floor from
a result of the punch. Wide, violet-blue eyes were startled and betrayed as he looked at his attacker. Relena
stood just in front of him with her arm raised, looking still quite ticked but now stunned. Blinking, she
turned and managed a small smile. "Arigatou, Heero! I knew you –"

"Would you also like a bruise?" was Heero's icy reply as he turned and walked away. Wufei scowled at the
retreating back as he went to help Duo up.

Staring silently at Heero's back, Duo swallowed a lump forming in his throat. /He protected her. Even if he
said he'd punch her… he protected her from harmless insults. Okay… not so harmless./ Duo turned away to
try and brush off Wufei's helping hands.

"You're already getting a bruise. Come, we'll give Sally a new patient," Wufei told the braided pilot. As both
headed away they avoided Relena completely; getting some annoyed reactions from the others gathered.
~~~
Duo had the decency to wince as Sally applied a numbing cream to his cheek. She bandaged it lightly,
explaining that some of the skin was near breaking. She handed Duo an ice pack and stood to leave the
small medical room. Duo chewed absently on his lower lip and just as he heard Sally keying in the door
command he halted her. "Sally… matte…"

"Nanda, Duo-kun?" Sally asked as she shut the door and looked back at him.

"I need you to run a few tests on me… for me… I… can you just do it?"

Casting a quizzical look at Duo, Sally came to sit next to him. "What's going on? Why tests? What do you
suspect?"

"I…" Duo trailed off and adjusted the ice pack distractedly. "I don't really know. You must do the tests!" He
turned to look at Sally with pleading eyes. "I beg you! Just this request! You mustn't let the other know,
though…"

Raising an eyebrow, Sally said nothing for a while. "Okay… I guess I can do that. Wait until we're back on a
colony and we have more resources, though. We're bringing Quatre into the hospital there." Duo nodded in
agreement and didn't stop Sally as she headed out of the room again. /What is going on?/
~~~
"I thought Trowa and Quatre were the lovers," Wufei commented to his companion as they walked down
the steps of the hospital.

"They are."

"Then how do you explain Maxwell staying after for the first three days?" Wufei demanded.

A faint shrug was his response. "What does it matter?"

Wufei paused for that and hesitantly admitted, "something else is going on. We're just being left in the
dark. There's something so wrong here…"

Heero said nothing, refusing to agree with the Chinese boy who always talked of justice.
~~~
"They're in." The voice all but made Duo fall from his nervous perch on an empty hospital bed. "Whoa, calm
down. I've got to report our findings…" Sally's face took on a serious look and she sat on one of the two
chairs within the room.

"Well…?" Duo inquired, seemingly the same jester.

Sally wanted so badly to smile at him and say to joke all he wanted. She couldn't, though. Taking a deep
breath in preparation, she began. "Duo, with the results from the various checks we ran, we're finding some
abnormal readings. Those that we're still looking to identify. Some things seem to signal towards the plague
that hit a while back on L2, you lived there, right?" A weak nod greeted her. "The plague symptoms are
mild but still there for some reason. They'll become stronger over time if we don't treat them."

"That all?" Duo asked, weary for some reason.

"No," Sally replied softly. She sighed and rubbed her temples. Duo's senses went hey-wire with the action,
knowing it to be a foreboding omen. "There's a virus that's continuing to multiply within your body. It's too
far along to stop it now… it had to have gone on for months."

"What is it?"

"Duo-kun, there is no cure. The virus spreading in you is a type of… poison. Usually a large amount would
be injected and kill the victim fairly quickly. You somehow managed to only take in a very small amount that
continues to grow."

"Nothing we can do? Is there an idea how I got it?"

"The virus was used by the Romerfellar foundation on their prisoners."

Silence.

Duo finally found his voice, "Then… how… how long?"

Sally shut her eyes. "We can slow it down just barely, maybe add in a few months. Some things you won't
be able to do anymore or risk damage to yourself. At tops?" She looked at him. "Maybe a year if we're
lucky."

Duo smirked, which threw Sally off guard. "All I need. How 'bout you clear up everything I need to know
and give me the meds, 'kay?" Sally only nodded numbly.

/He's taking it so… easily…?/
~~~
"You're unusually pouty, Maxwell," Wufei commented as he took another bite of his breakfast. Duo made a
face in return and took his new 'vitamins'. "I still don't see why you're taking those things."

"None of your business, Wuffie," Duo replied with a smile. Of course a Chang Death Glare ™ was glanced
his way. Moods switching quickly, Duo turned to the others. "You really won't stay?"

"Stay where?" Quatre asked, looking around the hotel diner. "This is a hotel, not a house."

Duo stuck his tongue out. "Not here, silly. There's a place back on L2 that's waiting. I'd love some help to
spiffy the place up a bit." He was met by negative answers. "Ah well. Keep in touch, then, so I can have you
all over later." Inside his emotions plummeted. /They were supposed to come./

"Why not come to stay at one of my estates?"

Shaking his head, Duo responded, "It's tempting I'll tell you, but…" he sighed. /But I need to go home and
make my old home into something livable. There's still so much to do…/

"Is there something you need to tell us?" Trowa inquired, taking a sip of coffee.

For a few minutes Duo buried himself in his own coffee and scuffed his toes along the floor. "No…"/I can't.
Not now…/
~~~
The shuttle drifted calmly through open space; two of its passengers wished they could be just as calm. "I
still say he's hiding something," the blonde pouted.

A comforting hand rested on his shoulder. "There's nothing we can do, he'll tell us if he wants to. We'll
make sure to keep in touch."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

/There is something we could do. All he wants is for all of us to stay with him./ A small tremor of pain laced
through Quatre's chest as he looked out the window. /Something is wrong with Duo./
~~~ 3 months later ~~~
"Sorry, gotta get!" Duo called over his shoulder before swallowing a couple drinks from his water bottle.

"C'mon, man, we only played one game!" one of the high-school kids called out, taking hold of his
basketball. "What's the rush?" Duo waved them off and apologized again as he moved away.

Walking down the streets of L2 he worked carefully on concentrating on moving. He did not need the
problem of collapsing in the road. /Was it really that intense of game?/ he wondered as he tried for more
oxygen.

Duo kept walking down various rundown streets until he reached a newly redone, one-story house. He had
to be proud of the job he had done with the house. It had taken his first two months there to get the house
cleaned out, rebuilt, and have electricity and heat put in. It was now quite livable and looked adequately
nice too. /Wonder where the others are?/

The first thing Duo would always do upon walking in was to check his "Heero-type" laptop for messages
from his old friends. Only Quatre had kept in touch every once in a while. The last message had informed
Duo that Quatre and Trowa were separate for a while; Quatre dealing with the Winner businesses and
Trowa taking a break at the circus for a while.

There were no new messages for that day so Duo went about gathering something for a snack. /I wonder
what Wufei and Heero are doing? I wish they'd contact me./ He sighed and went to lay down on the couch.
Within moments he was sleeping soundly with memories of the past for companions.
~~~
"Can't you locate him yet?" the blonde asked, sighing. The other person shook their head slightly and
apologized. "Where is he? There's no way he can hide that well!"

"We're doing our best, Relena-sama," Noin replied. "When he wishes to hide, he most certainly can; I'm
sure you know that. There are some leads I'm checking into personally. Why not try contacting the others?"

Relena's eyes narrowed just slightly at the thought of the 'others'. She wasn't interested in them, they didn't
treat her well at all. "Why should I?"

Containing a sigh, Noin pointed out, "With the help from the Winner resources plus our own there's a very
close chance to tracking him down."

The young leader seemed to ponder that for a long while. Finally she turned back and made a face. "Would
you please connect him on the line?"

"Yes, ma'am," Noin saluted and left the office.

The videophone buzzed and Relena reached forward to turn it on. The screen framed the beautiful, young,
face of Quatre Raberba Winner. "What can I do for you Miss Relena?"

"Quatre!" she greeted. "I've been wanting to get a hold of all of you for a while but work has been busy,"
she easily lied to keep him un-suspecting. "I was so trying to contact Heero but he seems to have gone into
hiding. Might you know where he is?"

There was a long pause on the other end and Relena could have sworn his eyes flickered from the screen.
"Gomen, Miss Relena, I haven't seen him." There was a voice in the background she couldn't quite identify
and she tried to focus on it but Quatre spoke again. "I'm sorry, a problem has arisen and I must see to it
immediately. Good day, Miss Relena." His image slipped off screen and Relena fumed for a few moments.
Settling herself down, she went to see if there were any new leads.
~~~
"I never thought I'd have to be hiding. Quatre… … … thanks…" the words were odd on his tongue and even
the blonde Arab looked stunned.

"It was nothing, Heero. I know you want to be keeping a low profile for a while. Unfortunately, if you hang
around here she'll find you sooner rather than later."

Heero nodded slightly and stared at the window onto the working colony of L4. /I'm sick and tired of
moving around. Where can I go now?/

As if reading the other's mind, Quatre informed him, "I'm going to see Duo soon, I still haven't gotten to the
bottom of what happened three months ago. He's probably lonely anyhow. Why not come along? We can't
send advanced notice or Relena will find us."

"Aa." Heero thought some more and turned. "There's nothing better to do. When do we leave?"

Quatre smiled. "Just as soon as I assign some things. I'm already packed."
~~~
The persistent wail of an alarm reached Duo's ears. Wincing, he hit the clock with the thought of one person
with the same persisting wail. [1] [Person: Relena] Grumbling to himself, he wondered why in the world he
was forcing himself to get himself up at the ungodly hour of eight in the morning.. He stood and made it to
the bathroom before he figured it out. Blinking himself into wakefulness, Duo hurried to dress and rebraid
his hair. "Damnit, I better not be late!" he muttered.

He grabbed his black jacket and his keys before flinging the front door open. Two pairs of eyes greeted him
and Duo righted himself before he could fall. Eyes large, he wondered, /Why now? What do I say?/

"Duo! Whoa, where are you heading?"

All the American could do at first was gape and stare. "Um… wha… what are you two doing here?!"

"Evading."

Quatre coughed discretely and explained. "Relena's searching everywhere for Heero. He came to me for a
while but she's going to be checking in with me soon, I can tell. I didn't think you'd mind visitors so I
brought us here."

Duo blinked and changed to a bubbly mood immediately. "Well sure! Ms. High and Might will never look into
a hellhole like L2!" he smiled wanly. "There's three nights a week that I work and won't be home. Er, oh!
Come on in already!" Duo ushered them in and closed the door, letting his appointment slip into the back of
his mind. "There's two bedrooms, a study, living room, and kitchen. We'll have to figure out sleeping
arrangements I guess! How you been? I'm so glad you came!"

Head whirling with the continued chatter, Quatre finally broke in. "Hold on Duo, calm down!" he laughed.
"Weren't you headed somewhere?"

"Oh no! I'm SO late!" Duo jumped up from his seat and rushed to the front door. "So sorry! Really! I'm
gonna get it for being late again!" With that, the door slammed shut and Quatre and Heero were left staring
at nothing.

"That was strange. Hope he doesn't mind if we look around a bit…" Quatre said. Setting their bags down,
the two ex-pilots began their exploring.

The kitchen wasn't perfectly organized but it wasn't a royal mess either. The shelves and refrigerator were
stocked adequately with food enough for a very large family; that confused the two boys. Some dishes sat
on the edge of the sink, obviously waiting to be cleaned. The living room adjoined the kitchen by a swinging
door. Simple furnishings of a couch, armchair, VCR, and TV were within the room with a coffee table. The
next room they entered was the guestroom obviously because of the scarce furnishings and completely
organized order about it. A small dresser was all that accompanied the bed. The bathroom was to one side
of the guestroom and on the other side of the bathroom was the other bedroom. The bed was hap-hazardly
made with a rush and the black comforter dragged partly on the ground. A dark dresser with a mirror faced
the door and various items were scattered about the top of it. Beside the lamp on the bedside table, Heero
found something catching his eye. Stepping closer, he found it to be a type of perspiration drug. A very
powerful drug. He showed it to Quatre but the blonde hadn't a clue what it was doing in Duo's room. It was
rather disturbing, though.

The study was quite different from the other rooms. It hardly seemed redone with the tattered curtains and
cushions about the floor. The glass looked filthy. The floor was fairly clean, however, and a new desk was
set up. A laptop, printer, and piles of photographs, drawings, and papers were organized on top of the desk.

"Wonder why he kept it like that," Quatre mused aloud as they headed back to the kitchen to get something
to drink. "It's really odd. Something was very… haunting, in there." He shivered. "I don't think I like it."
~~~
Hearing the front door being opened, Heero jumped into battle mode, preparing for any danger. He gazed
at the door as it opened more and then watched as a young woman walked in with a large paper bag in her
hands. She was smiling happily as she slipped off her shoes and called, "Duo-kun! Duo! I've got great
news!"

Quatre emerged from the kitchen just as the woman walked in to find Heero sitting on the couch. She
blinked in surprise. "Oh my! Duo didn't mention any guests…!"

Always being the formal one, Quatre bowed and explained, "We're friends of Duo. We dropped in sort of
unexpected. Duo's out at the moment, he left in a rush."

The woman laughed, causing her shoulder-length, wavy, black hair to bounce a bit. "Late as usual… he's
going to have to learn to be on time." She smiled a little sadly but brushed it off. "Let me introduce myself.
The name's simply Aika," she set her bag down and bowed respectfully. "Thank your friend for the name."

Confused, the ex-gundam pilots exchanged a brief glance. There was something building in Heero as he
wondered about what exactly Aika was doing within Duo's house. "My name is Quatre Raberba Winner, and
this is my friend… Heero Yuy."

Aika suddenly grinned and nodded her head, "Of course! I thought I recognized you! Duo talks so much of
his friends and seems to have photographs and sketches of everyone everywhere!" A rain of timid knocks
began to sound on the door and Aika's hand flew to her forehead. "Oh dear, I must be running late too.
Where's Duo when you need him…?" she grumbled as she hurried to put her bag on the kitchen table.
Quatre and Heero followed out of interest.

Finally Aika rushed to the front door and the scene there startled the ex-pilots. A group of three, young kids
stood at the doorway. One was shaking and had to be supported by the boy within the threesome. "Sick!"
the smallest girl cried and pointed to the shaking girl.

"Don't worry, now, come in… lunch hasn't been started yet," Aika soothed as she picked up the shaking girl
and brought her into the kitchen. The other little girl and boy clung to Aika's legs as they approached Heero
and Quatre in the doorway. "You two, could you start making some sandwiches? There are ingredients in
the refrigerator and in the bag I brought in. Tsuki needs some medical help so I'll take care of that. Go on
you two," Aika directed her last statement to the two children clinging to her leg. "They'll be helping you
until Duo gets back."

"Duo?" the small girl perked up and clapped happily.

Amazed, Heero and Quatre moved sluggishly to help the older woman. /I don't understand. What is going
on here? And why can I be so at ease… I shouldn't be adapting to something like this quickly./ Heero
frowned but followed orders by laying out the pieces of bread.

Within another half-hour there were five more tattered children sitting on the kitchen floor and two other
sick children in the living room with Aika. Finally the door opened without a knock and Duo came in. The
children in the kitchen cheered and promptly tackled Duo. The American struggled to keep balance but
finally relented and let himself fall into a sit on the ground. "Oi, oi! You're so early!"

"You're late!" one child called and Duo made a playful face.

Looking up, Duo found Quatre and Heero standing in the doorway. Questions were written across their eyes
while Quatre looked rather amused. Smiling Duo managed to stand and led the group of children back into
the kitchen. "Heya guys, sorry that I didn't tell you 'bout this before. I was in such a rush and I didn't think
I'd be late." Looking into the living room he nodded solemnly to Aika as she treated her three patients.
"Seems you met Aika, thanks for not going battle-mode. Anyhow, let's get their lunch finished! With three
hands this oughtta be quick. Whatta ya say?" he changed his question to the kids gathered about them.
Their eyes shined with unshed, joyous tears. Duo's smile nearly faltered but he managed to get to the
counter and start making food before his mask fell for a bit.

The three teenaged boys worked quietly while the children seemed to come to life and began playing little
games and talking with each other. It was another twenty minutes until the meal was done and Duo handed
out the food to greedy hands. "Now, now, enjoy it nicely and you'll get a special treat!" Aika walked in with
her three patients and they hurriedly grabbed their own share. Aika nodded to Duo, indicating the paper
bag on the table. Making his way to her, Duo asked, "Can you watch them a bit? I need to talk to my
friends."

"Of course, if they start wailing for you, though, I can't do a thing about it!" Aika responded with a grin.

"C'mon," Duo led Quatre and Heero from the room and into the study. Briefly Quatre shuddered. Taking a
seat on one of the old cushions, Duo began. "Well I'm sure you're a little confused… this happens everyday
about noon. I'm the only well off house in these areas. I'll be able to keep this up for about another year
with all the money we ended up hacking into from the war." He shrugged and grinned a little.

"Who are they? Why are you doing this?" Heero asked.

Flashing him a smile, Duo replied, "Aa, Heero the ever-focused Yuy. They're street kids, if you couldn't tell.
Some of 'em have families. Some don't. Most of them don't even have a bit of shelter. When I came here,
home, three months ago I found them all separate and most of them dying. Many of their families will not
spare food to them…" he trailed off. "Oh hell, they were dying! Unlike… well… unlike what my… my parents
did they didn't believe the youngest should live." He sighed and looked out through one of the broken panes
of glass. "Some have died. I wasn't able to really set this up until a little over a month and a half ago. I
ended up finding that girl who now is called Aika on the streets one day. She was starving and didn't have a
place to stay, she'd do anything to survive. I do mean anything. I ended up giving her some money and told
her I would find an apartment to stay in and get her started in a job just as long as she promised to help
me take care of the kids still on the street. We started this, then, and have four different groups of kids.
They only come in once every four days, hardly enough to keep them alive but it's the best we can do." He
smiled briefly and stood. "Guess that's bout it…"

"Why?"

"Huh?" Duo blinked at Heero. "Oh yeah, forgot to explain that." Turning with his back to them, Duo crossed
his arms over his chest. "As to why…? It's hell living on the streets. It's more like not living. You have to…
enjoy life… while you can. There's no orphanage around here anymore so there's nowhere for the kids to
go." His smile vanished completely as he hung his head. "When I was a kid we were lucky enough to have
the Maxwell Church Orphanage to go to…" he clutched his cross and whispered, "They never should have
taken in Shinigami."

Quatre stepped forward and began reaching out, unsure if he should comfort. "Duo…?"

Spinning around, Duo's lips twitched, trying to form a smile. "It was burned. They died. 'kay? Anyhow… that
was the last place anyone could look to. The last reason why?" He looked back to one of the corners of the
room. "I won't let them end up like Solo. They deserve life just as much as he did."

"So you were on the streets for most of your life," Heero stated.

Angry, Duo snapped, "Yes! Do you have a damn problem with that?"

"Duo, calm down…" Quatre said. "I'm sure he's just a little surprised… I am! I never would have known… I
mean you never hinted at it."

"Oi, Duo-kun," Aika called, walking in. "They're already wailing for ya. Go on in before we have a mob.
There's cookies in the bag." She smiled. Duo grinned in return and left.

"Matte, Aika-san," Quatre called. The woman stopped and turned with a quizzical look on her face. "Has
Duo been okay…? He kinda left us all hanging a few months ago."

A shocked look passed over the woman's face and she opened her mouth to speak just as Duo appeared
back in the doorway. "C'mon, Aika, I need your help here!" She nodded and left with the American with a
bewildered look still on her face.

"He's hiding something," Heero muttered softly. Quatre nodded with a worried expression. /I just… just
wish I knew what it was./
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~

~~~~~
Series: Zetsumei no Yochimu
Part: Two of Six
Part Title: Revealing [unedited]
By: Shinigami Goddess (Lionna)
E-mail: shinigami_goddess@netzero.com
Rating: PG-13ish
Pairings: 3x4/4x3 (implied and hinted), 1+2 mildly, 1x2/2x1 eventually
Warnings: EW has not and will not happen for this story, MAJOR Relena bashing, some
language, MAJOR angst. (Yes the others find out about the illness…) Shonen-ai hints.
Background song: Track 13 of "Evita" CD Song: You Must Love Me.
Started: July 5, 2000 Completed: July 5, 2000
~~~~~
The knocks sounding on the front door around lunchtime everyday became a habit to Quatre and Heero.
Adapting quickly, they helped Aika and Duo with preparing meals and special treats for the young children.
At times there would be a child too sick to send back out onto the streets so they had them stay within
Duo's room. The American happily gave up his bed and slept on the floor so that he could look after the sick
child.

Heero found it amazing how the longhaired boy could be giving things so easily. The children demanded a
lot of attention but still Duo managed to get to each of them and help them out. Many weeks passed and
changes could be seen throughout the three boys staying in the small house.

After dinner one night, Duo stretched and brought his laptop into the living room so that he could check on
a few things while talking to his friends. "Anyhow… I'd really like to thank you for your help. Nothing would
be getting done if it wasn't for you two." Duo smiled thankfully at the others as he clicked on his 'check
mail'. "Hmm… oi, Quatre, you'd better get in contact with Trowa. He's asking about you and where you
disappeared to."

Blushing lightly, the Arabian came up behind Duo to look at the message. "I'll go call him. I thought he'd be
gone longer than this though…"

"You have been here for almost a month and a half," Duo reminded and gave a wink. "Go give him a call.
Ask him here!" Quatre nodded and then headed into the guest bedroom with a phone to talk privately. "So,
Heero, you planning to stay a while longer?" Duo inquired, hoping that his pleading tone wasn't too
apparent.

Shrugging, the Japanese boy set aside the newspaper he had been breezing through. "Here Relena hasn't
bothered me but I have some things I need to take care of."

Duo was silent for a long time so that his emotions wouldn't leak into his statement. "Well, stay here as long
as you like. It's lonely…"

"Even with Aika and the mob of kids everyday?" Heero questioned, settling into the armchair.

"That's… not the same… I'm helping them out so they won't be alone. That's what I want. But I really can't
confide in them like a friend… it's just so quiet here sometimes…" Duo trailed off and closed his eyes. /I'm
so tired./ Voicing his thoughts aloud, he said, "Oi, I think I'm going to turn in early. I'm tired today." Heero
didn't respond but seemed to let his thoughts focus on something unknown to Duo. Shrugging, the
American left.

/You're too pale. Why are you so tired? You slept soundly last night. There wasn't much activity today./
Heero's eyes narrowed as a frown slipped onto his face. The laptop still sat on the coffee table, open.
"Baka… left his computer on," Heero muttered and moved over. In the mail inbox he spotted some
unknown names along with Trowa, Quatre, and Hilde. /Hn. Wonder why he doesn't just stay with her?/
Something tugged in his chest and Heero stashed the thought away. As he closed down the program and
shut down the computer another name suddenly flashed through his mind. /Sally Po. She was listed… what
in the world would he be doing talking to her?/ He frowned. It was too late to check now. Muttering under
his breath, Heero put the laptop back in the study.

He dropped by Duo's room and glanced in. The American was spread out on the bed with the sheets pulled
up to his chin. He was sweating heavily, the drops glistening on his pale skin. He looked distressed, but yet
he was asleep. Frowning once again, Heero murmured, "What are you hiding, baka?"
~~~
"Maxwell?" an elegant eyebrow raised without much interest. "I haven't heard from him since immediately
after the war.

"What about the others? Have they seen him or talked to him?" the female voice was just slightly strained
but patient.

"How would I know? Last I heard, Yuy vanished into thin air and that Peacecraft girl was searching like a
hound for him. Quatre ought to know, he's not the type to let anyone slip away. Why are you so persistent,
onna?"

The blonde smiled slightly at the familiar tone. "You're always the same, Wufei, I don't believe you'll ever
say my name to my face, will you? Oh well." Her face lost its cheer and suddenly she slumped in the chair
she was sitting in. For the first time the Chinese young man noticed the signs of lack of sleep and deep
worry.

Softening just slightly, Wufei asked, "Daijoubu desu ka? What's going on that you need to find Maxwell so
badly?"

Sally ran a hand through her hair. "He hasn't replied to my e-mails lately… and his responses are so vague.
The hospital on L2 says he's perfectly cheery and fine whenever he goes in for the medication and tests
demo –"

"Hold it!" Wufei stood up with his hands opening and closing at his sides. His dark eyes flamed a bit of
worry. "What do you mean medication? Tests…? What's going on, onna?!"

Stunned, Sally was speechless for a moment. "I can't believe he never told you! Oh my…" she shook her
head. Wufei's steady glare got her to speak again. Weakly she began to tell him. "Wufei, he had me run
some tests just after the war when Quatre was being treated… we found some old symptoms of the plague
on L2. That wasn't what the problem was… he's… been exposed to a poison used by the Romerfellar
Foundation during the war." Her face was pained as she bit out the last words.

"Wufei…"

"… Duo… he's… dying."

/Dying./
~~~
Sharp, loud sounds echoed throughout the halls. Wondering what in the world had woken him up, Heero sat
up on the couch and narrowed his eyes in the dark. Quickly his trained hearing detected the noises to be
those of coughing… painful, bad coughing. He frowned. Coughing sounding like that was only heard in
dangerous lung sicknesses. /What's going on? Who is it?/ He stood and carefully moved into the hallway.

A door creaked and he turned to his left to face a still half-asleep Quatre. The blonde frowned worriedly and
seemed to come more awake when he saw Heero. The Arabian's heart stopped suddenly when he too
figured out what the sound was. "Duo…?" he whispered.

The main bedroom was locked when Heero tried the knob so Quatre took over knocking. "Duo! Duo!
Daijoubu desu ka? Is everything okay in there?" More coughing was all that answered. "Duo!" Quatre called
again, beginning to panic. "Please! Come to the door!"

"Stand aside," Heero motioned Quatre away. He kicked at the doorknob until it came loose and the lock was
broken. Both ex-pilots made it through the doorway just to confront a nightmarish sight.

Duo was on all fours, shaking uncontrollably as he coughed and covered his mouth with one hand. His
sheets were tangled on the floor along with his pillows. The lamp had fallen on top of the mess and
suddenly Heero's sharp eyesight detected a foreign color on Duo's bedspread. "…Away…" Duo managed
between coughs as he glared angrily at the other two. "Get away!" he shouted – which only resided in more
fits of harsher coughs.

"Oh my god! Duo!" Quatre rushed forward suddenly and tried to support the American somewhat. He felt so
helpless and cast Heero a worried look. The Japanese boy remained stoic, standing in the doorway with his
face masking away the twisting emotions within. Finally Heero reached out and turned on the lights. The
foreign color on the sheets was a crimson liquid… blood…

The coughs were finally subsiding and blood trickled from Duo's hand and mouth. "What is going on?"
Heero demanded calmly and softly.

"Duo…" Quatre whispered, fear settling in his heart as he realized he had not noticed something earlier. For
weeks the American had been incredibly pale and continued to only pick at his meals. His sleeping habits
were long and if he was awake, often times he seemed too tired for anything normal.

Duo was slowly lowering himself back onto the bed. /So tired…/ he thought. He managed to reach out and
grab a few tissues to clean his hand and mouth before closing his eyes. /So very tired. What are Heero and
Quatre doing here anyhow?/

"Duo! You have got to stay awake!" Quatre called frantically, shaking one of the American's shoulders.

Suddenly the braided boy shot awake and he forced himself into a sitting position. Realization was sinking
in. "Oh God… this was not how you were to find out…" he muttered to himself. He felt Quatre's warmth
beside him and just wished to move away for a bit to convince himself it was a dream. They didn't really
know yet… they were never to know until the inevitable actually happened.

"What have you been hiding? Why are you coughing blood?!" Heero inquired, trying vainly to hide away his
slightly panicked emotions. The Japanese pilot sat at the foot of the bed and fixed Duo with a steady gaze.

The American sighed. "Aw hell… I can't do much to hide it now, can I?" He grabbed a bottle of pills from
the side table and quickly took two of them for his medication. His two friends stayed silent. /Why did they
have to come in here? Why did I have to have the coughing attack now?/

"Duo!" Quatre prompted.

"It's not of importance, really it isn't…" Duo tried for a smile but wound up in a losing game. He let his mask
fall and he sighed as he limply laid back on the bed. "You're not going to believe that, are you? It would be
so much easier if you would, though." The looks he received told him that they were getting annoyed with
him prolonging the confession. "To hell with it, guys, I'm not one to explain this stuff. Sally's the one with
everything informed! Talk to her if you absolutely must!" He was getting angry at himself and at the other
two. /They weren't supposed to know!/ A warmth was building by his temples and Duo hated to think of
tears.

"Duo… please… I don't want to be finding something out from Sally…"

"Quatre…" Duo's tone was warning. "I… it's…" he sighed and turned away. "A sickness. Some of it's leftover
plague symptoms from the L2 plague hit years ago… that's not the problem…" he started to cough again
but carefully toned the coughs down to a bearable level. "There's something else… a… a… 'virus' you could
call it… from Romerfellar Foundation, they used it. Aw crap! Just ask Sally, damnit!" He sat up again and
swung an arm wildly before fleeing the room. Tears were building and he wasn't about to let the others see
him that way. /Boys don't cry, boys don't cry… especially those who need to enjoy every minute of life…/

There was silence throughout the room in the wake of Duo. Both Heero and Quatre were stunned. "Is he
saying that… that he's… no… he can—can't… be…" The blonde couldn't finish.

When Heero spoke his voice was so soft that Quatre almost missed the word and the strange emotions
within the tone, "… Dying?"
~~~
"Take me to Maxwell now!" Wufei suddenly snapped, a brief tone of fear entering his voice. Sally bowed her
head and then stood. Nodding, the two left the room. /Why didn't he ever mention it? Fool! What was he
thinking…? Why… why did he do that…? I don't understand./ The Chinese boy's hands clasped into fists as
he brooded.


"We'll stop at the hospital, they'll let us know where he is," Sally stated as she directed the small transport
shuttle. "I'm worried because he's, like I said before, not answering my e-mails. I don't believe everything's
okay as he says. By now there would be a lot of things affecting him."

"Isn't there a cure?"

Sally was silent for a long while. "No. It's an unknown virus, practically. I've been researching for anything
related in any way to what he's suffering from but… there hasn't been anything yet. I can't do anything for
him and so far I haven't found anyone who can."

/Is that why you wanted us to go with you?/ Wufei's dark eyes reflected the stars outside the window as he
mused to himself. /We should have been reading you more carefully. There's much more to you than that
jester mask. Why couldn't I have seen it earlier? You always were the heart of the… team…/

/You can't die./
~~~
"Duo!" Quatre rapped on the bathroom door again but no movement came from inside. Biting his lip in deep
worry, he tried again. This time his voice was laced with pain and fear. "Duo! Please! Just open the door!
Please Duo!"

Heero was still sitting in Duo's room at the edge of the bed, having not moved since Duo's flight from the
room. The Japanese pilot could hear Quatre's frantic calls. /Dying… no, it's just a sickness. There's surely a
cure. That must be why he was talking to Sally. About a cure, of course. He's not about to be defeated by
some virus – we're gundam pilots. We were trained to hold up against that sort of thing./

'So, Heero, you planning to stay a while longer?'

The words echoed in his head. /He always wanted all of us together. Was this why? He wanted to see us
together? Why would it matter…?/ He made a face and closed his eyes tightly. His heart ached painfully,
reminding him that the frozen heart from the war had long since melted. /Dying…?/ Duo hadn't said it but it
was left hanging in the air. /No… never… masaka…/

Within the dark room something glistened on Heero's face as the sparkling drop dripped through his
eyelashes and fell down to drop off the tip of his nose. /Masaka…/
~~~
His back ached painfully as he came back into the wakeful world. He was confused as to why he was so
cold and why cold tile was beneath him. Blinking, the boy realized he was sitting with his back to the door
and that he was staring at the shower in the bathroom. /What? Last night… they know…/

Scrubbing a hand across his face, Duo painfully got up and stumbled to wash his face of the old tearstains.
Drying off, he slowly unlocked the door and was about to just open the door when he realized there was
weight on the other side. Glancing through the crack he saw a limp head of blonde hair. A small smile
tugged at his lips as Duo eased the door open and caught his Arabian friend. Setting Quatre against the
wall, Duo slipped back to his bedroom.

Again he found another sleeping form, this time it was Heero. The Japanese pilot had both feet on the
ground while he lay back at the foot of the bed. Duo frowned when he thought he spotted a glistening drop
at the corner of one closed eye. "I don't deserve the tears of one who doesn't cry," he murmured softly and
turned away. He dressed quickly in a black tee shirt and jean shorts.

He made his way to the kitchen and turned the stove on so that he could start making pancakes. He took
down his bottle of medicine and took his morning dosage before mixing the pancake batter. /They're still
not up. Amazing… hmm…/ To distract himself he flipped a pancake and watched to make sure he caught it
before it hit the ground. /Why did they have to find out?! They weren't supposed to… I never wanted them
to…/

Just as he was finishing the last of the pancake a sharp pain like a knife struck Duo in the chest. He
dropped the handle of the skillet and the pancake landed with a resounding 'plop' on the counter top. A
coughing fit overtook the American and he stumbled to his knees. He could taste the metallic liquid in his
mouth and wanted to gag. /This pain… it hurts… so much…/


The clatter of metal on tile jerked Heero to a sitting position. He was off the bed and through the kitchen
door before his mind registered the sickening sounds of painful coughs. Hurriedly, Heero rushed to a
kneeling position besides Duo and held the boy until the coughing had subsided. The American averted his
gaze and than pushed away from Heero into a stand.

"My, my, what a mess!" he commented in a falsely cheered tone. He shook his head as he picked up the
skillet he'd dropped and worked on clearing up the pancake mess on the counter. "Don't bother to help
clean, grab something to drink and a plate and have a pancake! I'll get the syrup and silverware out in a
bit." Duo's hand was caught in a tight grasp.

"Shut the hell up," Heero suddenly snapped. Duo's face hardened as he glared determinedly into the cobalt
blue eyes facing him.

"Is everything okay?" Quatre's timid voice asked from the side. Heero glanced sidelong at him but said
nothing.

Duo tugged, once and hard, but his wrist didn't leave Heero's hold. "Stop it," Heero hissed, covering his fear
and pain by anger. "Just stop it!" He threw Duo's arm out of his grasp and watched as the American rubbed
circulation into his hand. "How can you act like nothing's wrong? That everything's fine? Don't you even
care?!"

"And why should you care?" Duo suddenly shouted. Sighing, he dragged a hand down his face. Calmer, Duo
began again. "It's not like a don't care but why should I be bothering with it? There's really no need to
worry, I do what I do and I'm fine. I'm taking my medication! Now if I wasn't, fine then, yell at me, but
right now you have no need to! Just let me live how I'm living!"

Heero cut immediately in, "Even if living doesn't include that much time?!"

Nothing was said as Duo turned his back and began rummaging through the cupboards. No one spoke as
the American continued to set the table for breakfast. Duo was the only one to sit down and begin eating.
"C'mon, my cooking isn't bad and you know it! Have something to eat!"

"This is what I mean…" Heero whispered as he clenched a fist. "You act as if nothing's wrong!" he shouted,
"What's wrong with you? You're dying, aren't you?!"

"Now I never said that," Duo promptly countered. /That's true, I didn't say it! There's… gotta be still a
chance…? Right…?/

Heero slammed a fist into the wall and caused spider web cracks to appear in the tile. Glaring one more
time, he pushed himself through the room and towards the doorway. Slipping on his shoes took barely a
second and then he was gone with the slam of a door.

"Heero…" Duo whispered softly. His body started to shake as he dropped his head forward. Quatre peered
worriedly at his friend, fearing it was something to do with his sickness. Instead he was surprised to hear
soft sobs. "…Matte… Heero…"

/Oh Duo…/ Quatre went to his friend and embraced his shoulders. /Duo…/ His own tears began to flown as
he felt Duo grip his arms for support.
~~~
"This is the place?" Wufei asked with thick sarcasm.

Sally nodded and gave a sidelong smile, "Most definitely. Duo helps out many of the kids living out on the
streets. There's someone he works with and the two of them provide some food every few days. He'll be
able to keep it up for as long…" she trailed off and shook her head. Wufei swallowed the lump that had
formed in his throat.

The house they were approaching had a small group of children only half-dressed in tattered rags. Wufei
felt something stab at his heart as he saw the distant eyes that were filled with emptiness. The door opened
and a young, black-haired woman stepped out to usher the children in. She was just about to close the door
when Sally called out. The woman turned and blinked quizzically. "May I help you?" she asked.

"We're here to see Duo Maxwell," Wufei provided. "Old friends."

The woman nodded with a smile, "Of course! Come in, he's in the study. My name is Aika." Walking in, Sally
and Wufei watched as the children rushed into a room that seemed to be a kitchen. "The study is straight
back," Aika told them, pointing down the hallway to a doorway at the other end.

"Arigatou for your help," Sally told her. Aika nodded and then moved into the kitchen.

They stopped before the study and exchanged glances. Sally lifted her hand to knock just as a voice caught
their attention. "You're sure you don't need help…? Okay, Aika…"

/Quatre?/ Wufei wondered.

Suddenly the blonde appeared from another doorway and stopped in shock. "Sally! Wufei!" He slumped
against the wall and closed his eyes. Worried, the two rushed to the blonde's side. Opening an eye, Quatre
gazed silently and pleadingly at Sally. "It's… not true… he's not… not…"

Sally's face fell. "When we first started treating it we could only promise a year at most. I'm sorry…" she
whispered. "At least… he told you."

"He wasn't going to," Quatre replied softly and moved to the study door. Knocking softly he called, "Duo?"

"Open," came the reply. Nodding, Quatre led Sally and Wufei into the room. Duo was sitting in the far
corner of the room on one of the ancient pillows. He turned only slightly but then his eyes widened in
surprise. "Wufei! Sally!" his lips turned into a glad smile as he stood and came over. "What a great
surprise!" He looked into the hallway and his smile began to lose some of its glory. A glance at Quatre and a
shake of head affirmed that Heero was not back yet.

Wufei was silent, sorting through his thoughts. Looking seriously at the American, he could see the loss of
weight and the pallor of his skin. "Maxwell… why didn't you tell us?" he asked softly.

Looking at Sally, Duo gripped a fist and bowed his head. "I didn't want anyone to worry. I just wanted to…
to enjoy… I've been fine…" /Until last night's coughing fit./

Quatre seemed to have the same thoughts and voice them aloud. "You do mean until the coughing last
night."

"Duo-kun, are you sure you're doing pretty much okay?" Sally checked. "You were being all too vague in
your e-mails…" Duo flashed her a smile and responded that he had pretty much been okay. "Duo-kun, if
you wouldn't mind, I'd like to stay on L2… since I began the research. I'll stay at an extra room in the
hospital since it seems you have limited space here."

Sighing softly, Duo flopped onto his desk chair. "Okay, fine… obviously I can't talk you out of it." He was
silent for a while and then popped up with a smile. "C'mon, lets go help Aika! Those kids can be a handful!"

The Chinese boy was just thoroughly stunned at how… normal… Duo was acting. /He acts as if it's not
happening? Does he wish to deny it…? Or is he really that strong…? How can he be…?/

Wufei found that Duo's statement was quite true. The children were a bundle of energy once they ate and
happily tugged and tackled the older teenagers around them. Duo joined in most of the games but Sally
easily noted when he began to tire and began strained himself. Aika seemed to notice too for she called the
children to the door. "We'll see you soon! Be good!" she watched them as each left out the door, with a
little more life than they had before they had entered. Aika came back into the kitchen and helped Quatre
with cleaning. Duo sat at the table with Sally and Wufei as he talked about some of the things he had done
lately.

"Yuy's here?" Wufei asked, astounded.

Something faltered on Duo's face, "He's… somewhere… I'm not sure he's returning to the house." He bowed
his head. Suddenly he realized the time and stood, "Sorry, I have to rest. I have work tonight." He left the
room and said goodbye to Aika.

"He shouldn't be straining himself to work, what does he do anyhow?" Sally spoke up.

Quatre set a glass aside and answered, "He works a few blocks down at a nightclub. He used to do three
nights a week but now does once every two weeks. Now… now I know why… before I hadn't a clue." He bit
his lip.

Aika gave them a questioning look, "What do you mean?"

"About… Duo's… sickness? Do you know?"

"Of course!" she responded immediately. Everyone stared at her in shock. "He told me many things after I
started helping feed the other street children. He hadn't told you…?" She was now stunned. "But you're his
friends…! He cares so much… why wouldn't he?" Her face fell sad. "He has such a good heart…" she
murmured softly. Looking up she smiled, "I need to be going now. I'll see you tomorrow!" She waved and
then left to slip on her shoes.

"I don't understand why he told her but not us," Quatre said as he sat at the table with the other two.
"She's nice and all… but…" he couldn't finish his thought. /Duo's sick. Duo's… dying…/ The idea would not
settle in his mind. /It just can't be./
~~~
"What's up, man?" the strongly built bartender asked as Duo walked into the dark nightclub lit only by
strobe lights. "You ready to help out tonight?"

Duo managed a grin and ducked under the bar to stand beside the other man. His name was Gorry
something… family names weren't all too popular on L2 since many people didn't really know their families.
"Sure thing, tonight looking busy?"

"Mayhaps. Don't really know," Gorry replied as he fixed two drinks. He slid a glass down to Duo who took it
and drank a large amount. "Man, something's buggin' ya."

Sighing, Duo turned to Gorry. "I can't believe I can't hide things from you. Mmm… you're right. Two other
new friends stopped by and one of my guests is missing. He hasn't been back all day."

"Miss 'im, eh?" Gorry asked with a wink.

"Nani?" Duo exclaimed with a huge blush. "You are such a hentai, Gorry!"

The older man just grinned and took a swig from his glass. "Aa, but can't blame me now, can ya? You're
always obsessing about this one… it means something, Kid. Don't doubt me, I like ta tease but this… I'm
being serious. Ya got something for 'im. Just wish I could meet this guy whose got yer eye."

Duo made a face and turned to watch the customers streaming in. Some waiters from the club went to the
tables and picked up the orders to drop off at the bar. Duo busied himself fixing drinks and setting them
down. Finally one of the female workers of the club leaned over to whisper to Duo, "That guy in the corner
is hitting the bottle hard. I haven't seen 'im before but there's this… air about him. He's looking awfully
down… I think something's really wrong… think you can cheer him up? I'll take over here."

"Gorry?" Duo asked, knowing that the older man had listened to the exchange. Gorry nodded and then Duo
took the tray from the waitress and headed over to the corner. Approaching the dark corner it was hard to
see. There were already a few empty beer bottles on the table and the young man's dark hair fell over his
face and shaded his drawn face. He seemed so tense. "Being depressed isn't becoming of you," Duo told
the boy as he slid onto the bench across form the shaded figure. "Here's another drink, but stop getting
drunk. You wouldn't believe the hangovers you get." He grinned.

The grin faded when the cobalt-colored eyes of the other met his. "This is where you work."

Duo's mouth opened and closed but no words were coming. /Heero… but… but…/ "Heero…"

Silence stretched between them. The pulsing sound of overly loud music strummed through their bodies. No
one made a move to speak and Duo finally just shook his head. Grabbing the bottle he had dragged over to
the table, Duo opened it and poured himself a glass. "What in the world are you doing here?" Heero didn't
reply. Sighing mentally, Duo tried again. "I was being serious before, depressed doesn't fit you. You're way
too uptight, man."

"Shut up."

"Nu-huh. Only if you make me." Suddenly he blushed when he thought of some of the meanings behind
that. "Erm…" Heero just glared at him before grabbing another glass of beer. "Heero… please, stop," Duo
requested, resting a hand on Heero's wrist. The Japanese boy brushed him off.

"Just get the hell away from me."

Duo moved back and stayed silent, hiding himself in the shadow so that the other didn't see how he was
hurt. Quietly he commented, "Wufei and Sally are here."

That got a reaction. Heero's head shot up, "Nani…? Sally? Why?"

"Checking," Duo replied as he took another drink. "Seems Sally slipped and told Wufei. Sally will do some
research in the hospital labs to see if there's any chance at all for a cure."

Heero's blood suddenly ran cold and everything faded behind him. '… If there's any chance at all…' /There's
no chance?/

"Could you tell me why you are hanging out here in the darkest corner and getting yourself drunk? Why…
didn't you come back?" Duo asked softly. Something was paining him in his chest. /Are you afraid of me?
But that doesn't make sense./ Staring at the American, Heero was having trouble finding any words. Luckily
being silent in reply would often be typical of him so he didn't have to worry about Duo seeing through his
mask. "Heero," Duo murmured softly, eyes shaded, "are you trying to avoid me…? Why…? Why?!" Duo
stood up suddenly with his chest heaving, near tears for some reason. "Why…" he repeated in a whisper.

The Japanese ex-pilot sat with his stare fixed on nothing. About to take a drink from his glass, a strong hold
kept him from raising the glass. Angrily Heero looked up at his captor. Duo was mere inches from him,
holding his arm. "You are not getting drunk. Explain to me! I deserve that much! Stop being a bastard,
Heero…" His brow wrinkled in emotional pain. "I know you're not some jerk… why try acting one…?
Heero…" he trailed off and dropped the arm. Turning away he said calmly, "I have work to do. Excuse me."

"Matte." Duo stopped mid-step and turned to find Heero's face illuminated by the different colored lights.
For a moment the normally stoic boy seemed in pain before the old face settled back in. "Duo." The
American slipped back into the booth and watched his friend. "I don't understand what's happening."

"Don't leave off there, that's not it, now is it? I don't want crap about you not feeling. I need to know what's
going on. Hell, if you're scared of me, spit it out!"

"Why the hell would I be scared of you?" Heero snapped, almost jumping into a stand. /Baka!/ his mind
screamed. /Scared of you?! Why would I be? Scared… no… not of him… this… this feeling…/

Long moments continued to pass as the music droned on in the background.

If I fall along the way
Pick me up and dust me off
If I get too tired to make it
Be my breath so I can walk

"If I need some of your love again; Give me more than I can stand; When my smile gets old and faded;
Wait around I'll smile again; Shouldn't be so complicated; Just hold me and then; Just hold me again…" Duo
trailed off and was content to just listen to the music. /I just wish he'd answer me. He's just denying, isn't
he?/ It hurt to think so.

"… … … Duo… … …" Heero couldn't continue and finally dropped his head into his arms crossed on the
table. He felt something burning in his temples. /Oh god there's no known cure… he's dying… dying. Oh god
he's dying./ He felt the wetness on the skin of his arms and was stunned at himself. He'd never cried… not
since the very, very earlier parts of his training. Something was stabbing at his heart and he just couldn't
stand it.

Duo was frozen, too stunned to move. Heero's shoulders shook ever so slightly every once in a while.
/Crying…? He's… he's crying…?/ "Heero…" he whispered. Very slowly he forced his legs to move him to the
other side of the table. He slid in beside Heero and tentatively reached a hand out to rest on the other's
shoulder.

Slowly, Duo felt himself also breaking. Feeling his own tears starting, he wrapped his arms about his friend
and buried his face on Heero's shoulder. "… I'm scared, Heero…" he finally admitted softly. /Please help./

Heero didn't respond but found the warmth of Duo surrounding him comforting. He let the warmth overtake
him and forgot all about his mask shattering when he broke down to tears. Drumming in his ears were the
lyrics to the song as Duo whisper-sung along:

"Can you help me I'm bent; I'm so scared that I'll never; Get put back together; Yeah, you're breaking me
in; And this is how we will live; With you and me bent…"

/Duo… you can't be dying… you just can't…/
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~

~~~~~
Series: Zetsumei no Yochimu
Part: Three of Six
Part Title: News [unedited]
By: Shinigami Goddess (Lionna)
E-mail: shinigami_goddess@netzero.com
Rating: PG-13ish
Pairings: 3x4/4x3 (implied and hinted), 1+2/2+1 mildly, 1x2/2x1 eventually
Warnings: EW has not and will not happen for this story, MAJOR Relena bashing, some
language, MAJOR angst. Shonen-ai hints.
New notes!!: I have chosen a background song now! If you have an "Evita" CD [CD 2] put it on
track 14: You Must Love Me. BEAUTIFUL song… it's so moving.
Started: July 7, 2000 (early) Completed: July 15, 2000
~~~~~
The air was dark and smoky. It added to the haze already on his mind as the boy finally shied away from
the other at the table. "I didn't have any right to…" he sighed. "I'm sorry."

/The… rambling… it's gone. Why…? Maybe that's why he keeps up the act./ The Japanese boy lifted his
head from his arms and ran a hand through his hair. Duo was standing and gathering the drinks. As the
American turned, something caught in Heero's throat. /Matte…/

Duo licked his dry lips and caught the taste of salty droplets at the corners of his mouth. /I just hope no one
else notices./ On his back he could feel the intense gaze… it wasn't as fierce as it normally would have
been. It had gentled down… it pained Duo more than many things.

"Kid, you're off for the night. Go home with yer friend." Duo blinked, startled, at the sound of Gorry's voice.
"I'm telling you to go on now. If ya don't leave with yer friend, I'm firing ya!" His heavy stare was friendly
but deadly serious.

His lips twitched, "I guess you don't care about eavesdropping… alright… I'll… go." His voice went into a
whisper as he dragged his feet to the table. Heero was still staring at him, his eyes for once open and
vulnerable. Something was tearing in Duo's heart and it hurt. /I never thought about what's going to
happen until I told these two. I think that's why I was delaying telling them./

"Duo…?" Heero's voice was low, underlying emotions amazingly thick in his voice.

Looking a little grim, Duo motioned to the door. "I'm out of here for the night. Care to leave?" There was no
response but he still turned and began to walk away, knowing Heero would eventually follow.

Once out the door, the night air of the colony hit them quickly. It was warm, as always, and already foul
smells turned worse with the heat. A few small rodents scattered out of the way as the two boys walked
silently through the dark alleyways, not heading in the direction of Duo's home. Their pace was steady and
matched perfectly, both lost in a whirlwind of thoughts.

"You don't think about it, do you?" Heero asked softly.

"No. There's no need to," Duo replied in a clipped tone.

"Aa." More silence. "You never seemed the type to not have some foolish dream or wish in the… end."

Duo was quiet in reply as they moved along. "I'm not sure of a dream. I don't try for things for myself.
There's… two things… I want. The one that I want done – no excuses – is to have a new orphanage built.
These kids can't be living on the streets any longer."

Heero was shaking his head as the American went on about that wish. /Not for himself… he always used to
seem… centered about himself a little more. Not overly so… but…/ "What about the other?"

"… … Anou…" Duo looked uncomfortable. "I'm not sure I want to answer that, Hee- ro…" He stopped
himself from venturing to say '-chan'.

"Aa."

Their footsteps continued to echo, neither mentioning the breakdown at the club. As they continued to
walk, Heero found that Duo was avoiding many different streets; he wanted to ask why but the look on
Duo's face told him not to. They finally began to approach the one-story house that Duo had so carefully
rebuilt. No lights were on, it being past midnight.

They quietly slipped into the house. Duo headed back to his bedroom without a look back and Heero moved
to the living room where he had been camped on the couch. He scowled upon seeing Wufei laying stretched
on the couch; fast asleep. Grumbling mentally, Heero headed through the hall to Duo's room and knocked.
The American opened the door, wearing a pair of boxers and holding a rumpled shirt to him. Blinking in
surprise he asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Wufei took my spot. Have floor space or is the room still a labyrinth?"

Duo chuckled softly and admitted Heero in as he slipped the faded tank top on. "There's the comforter in
the closet, get it on out so you don't ruin your 'perfect' back. Don't you dare set an alarm or I'll make sure
you won't be out of bed for a while," he glared, "I'm tired and would like my rest!"

"Aa," Heero replied off-handedly. He tugged out the comforter and laid it on the ground. Duo tossed him a
folded sheet and the Japanese ex-pilot caught it effortlessly. He watched silently as the American slid into
bed and settled in. "Oyasumi… Duo…"

One violet-blue eye opened. "Heero? Saying goodnight? Nope… I'm already asleep…" He grinned slightly as
he settled back down to rest.

Heero continued to watch for a moment as the small smile that had appeared on his face slowly vanished.
His face slightly pained, Heero finished preparing his 'bed' and lay down. He didn't even bother changing
clothes for the night.
~~~
Light peered through the windowpane and escaped the barricade of curtains to rest on a sleeping face.
Sighing softly, the form opened its eyes and blinked twice to come fully awake. Sitting up, he glared at the
offending light. /What a headache… how much did I have to drink?/ he wondered as he struggled to a
stand and rubbed his forehead. He made it to the bathroom where he washed up and took some Advil for
the headache.

Moving carefully, so as not to let the world tilt, he glanced in the bedroom he had came from. The other boy
was still sound asleep in the bed and didn't look like he'd be up for a while. Cobalt blue eyes flashed for a
moment with emotion before it was hid again and the Japanese boy moved through the living room.

Wufei was already up – the couch was clear of a body. In the kitchen Heero found the Chinese boy and
Quatre working on putting breakfast together. "Yuy," Wufei nodded his head, "been a while."

"Hn," was Heero's reply. He sat down at the table, not quite up to eating anything yet.

"Daijoubu desu ka? Where were you and when did you get back?" Quatre inquired anxiously. "We were
worried all day and Duo seemed so tense!" Heero grunted something but the blonde would not take it.
"Heero, I want you to answer me!"

Heero felt the headache intensify. Eyebrow twitching in annoyance, he asked, "Could you give me a cup of
coffee?" He received blank looks for a moment before Wufei startled to chuckle. Glaring hard at the other,
Heero just barely caught Quatre's movements as he prepared the requested drink. Once the steaming cup
was set before Heero, Quatre gave an expectant look. "I wandered the colony. What else is there to do?"

Quatre drummed his fingers impatiently as he took a seat between Wufei and Heero. "There's got to be
more than that, you never drink coffee. You look like you barely slept…"

"He's got a hangover, came in late…" the voice trailed off with good cheer. Duo was leaning on the
doorframe leading to the kitchen and smiled cheekily. "He wandered into the club and got himself drunk
without realizing it. Anyhow, did anyone make breakfast or am I stuck with it again?"

Giving a curious look at Heero before looking back a Duo, Quatre wondered what exactly had happened.
"We didn't get as far as making breakfast, gomen."

The American waved it off as he began going through the cupboards. His night tank top rode up his torso a
little, revealing his smooth, creamy skin as he reached. "Hmm… let's see now, what should I be making?
Muffins? Or are people too hungry…" he continued his rummaging.

The others watched him going through the options for breakfast with mixed emotions. Heero was glad that
the others weren't asking about why he had dropped into the nightclub the night before; well not yet,
anyway. He sighed and studied the bit of skin that was exposed by Duo's stretching. He frowned when he
saw the end of a mark on the American's side. It stood out as pure white on the creamier-colored skin. /A
scar,/ his mind dully registered. /But from what?/

"We might as well make our own with you taking so long just choosing," Wufei directed his comment at
Duo. The American pouted and exaggerated a sniffle.

"Wu-man, you are so mean~~! Hidoi!" He made a face at the Chinese ex-pilot and produced a package of
eggs from the refrigerator. "Happy? Quick, short, simple, and yummy!" He laughed at the looks he received
before turning on the stove and preparing the eggs.

Breakfast was done with fairly quickly and Quatre helped Duo with washing the dishes. The two Asian boys
went into the living room to wait for the other two, and so sat silently across from one another. Finally it
was Wufei who spoke, in a steady tone, "You're very upset about this. Something about the whole situation
is getting to you."

Heero narrowed his eyes and snapped, "And who wouldn't be?"

The other sat silent for a few moments. "It's affecting you more than you care to admit. Disappearing for a
day and then appearing back here with a hangover? That is not like you at all. Heero," he leaned forward
with a determined but comforting look, "you need to figure out what you're going to do by yourself. But if
you need help you should talk to him. It's just as hard on him, I'm sure. You can see past that mask he's
put up, can you not?"

Looking away from the unwavering gaze, Heero let his brow wrinkle in thought. It'd just been one day since
he'd found out but still… /It hurts so much. Why? It would be the same with any of the others, right? Of
course it would… but… why him?/ The beeping sound of the vid-phone in the room brought Heero back to
reality. Duo called from the kitchen for someone to get it.

"Moshi, moshi," Wufei greeted when he turned on the communication system, "this is Maxwell residence."

A middle-aged woman with dark brown hair, almost black, that looked to be of Asian descendent faced
Wufei from the screen. She looked a little startled. "Is Duo-kun there?" she questioned, looking as if it were
urgent. Frowning, Wufei turned and called the American in.

Peeping his head into the room, Duo blinked at Wufei. "You sure? Well let me dry off my hands." He came
in and took a look at the screen. "Ohayo ishi-san! [1] [ishi = doctor] I didn't forget something, did I?" he
asked.

The woman smiled at him kindly but it was obviously a cover up. "No, Duo-kun, you didn't forget anything."
Duo looked at her questioningly while keeping an eye of Heero and Wufei from the corner of his eye. They
had both been startled upon Duo greeting the woman as his doctor. "I need you to come in today, though."
Duo's blood ran cold.

As she opened her mouth Duo cut in, "Tell me the time and I'm there."

"By… noon if you can. I know that makes you miss helping the children at lunch but this is important." As
Duo cut her off again she glared at him with a quizzical expression still on her face. "Duo-kun?"

He flashed her a smile, "Good day ishi-san, I'll be there on time for once." She was still looking at him funny
as he turned the vid-phone off. /I can't let the others hear./

Quatre walked in and sat down on the couch beside Wufei. "So who was it?" Silence met him and he raised
an eyebrow in question.

"Um… well it was my doctor. Gotta go in today; did you finish the dishes?" He kept changing the subject so
quickly that it was hard to keep in order what he was saying. The Arabian blinked a few times as he tried to
sort out what Duo had said.

"But… why?"

Duo closed his mouth and looked a little troubled. Wufei answered dryly, "He doesn't know, he wouldn't let
her say." The American glared.

"Duo!" Quatre exclaimed, worry marring his features. "You should've –"

Suddenly stood up, pushing the chair back a little in his rush. His face angry and pained he shouted, "Just
shut up! I don't want to hear it! Let me do things my way! Have your own way when I'm not here!" He
turned and stumbled to the hallway. He gripped the doorframe tightly for a moment before moving on. The
words he had said were just catching up with him and he suddenly felt extremely empty. He was halfway to
his room before he slumped to the ground and began to shake. /It's true… but what was the call really
about? Oh god… the others, they're giving too much sympathy. Why? Why can't they just act… normal… I
was so happy before Quatre and Heero knew… one day of them knowing and life's a living hell./ He looked
up to his door a few feet away and sighed softly. "I can't even make myself move…" he whispered to the
air.

After another scene of Duo's near-hysterically-upset state, the others were silent with stunned faces. "What
he… said…" Quatre choked and buried his face in his hands. The words still hung in the air. 'Have your own
way when I'm not here!' "Duo how can you do that? How… can you hide…?"

Heero shut his eyes and retreated to the kitchen, not able to keep up his façade in front of the others. He
sat at the table and leaned his forehead on the cool surface. "Baka…" he whispered. "So careless…" He
couldn't come up with anything to describe how he was feeling. It was strange, emotions and physical
feelings swirling together in pain and sickness. /What's going on… why him. And why does he have to reject
us repeatedly? Duo…/ His mind shut down with the rest of him and Heero slumped bonelessly in the chair.
~~~
Duo glanced at the wall clock and sighed. He put on a smile for the children gathered about eating their
lunch. "Gomen minna-chan, I need to go…" Some of the younger kids started to wail at the announcement
but he quickly calmed them down. He nodded to Aika once before slipping from the kitchen and into the
hallway. Quatre, Heero, and Wufei watched after him for a moment.

"Please, someone go with him," Aika murmured with a worried expression.

The three boys were a little surprised. Heero didn't waste much time, however, and quickly slipped on his
shoes to follow after Duo. Once outside he spotted the American walking only feet ahead. Heero jogged
briefly to catch up and Duo stopped with a stunned expression. "Nani…? Heero, what are you doing?"

Silence followed for a few moments before the Japanese boy finally decided to reply. "You shouldn't be
going alone. I'm coming with; and finding out what's going on."

Angrily Duo began to walk again. Heero kept pace. Glaring from the corner of his eye, Duo bit out, "I figure
you're too perfect to lose so I'm stuck with you – aren't I?" He snorted and walked a little faster. "I don't
need any help you know!"

Heero stayed silent as Duo worked out his frustrations verbally. /Why can't he admit to needing some help.
He's too much pride…/

They eventually reached the hospital; Duo looking frustrated and restrained while Heero wore an
expressionless mask. Duo approached the front desk and was directed to a waiting room on the third floor.
The two boys walked in silence and this time Duo was vainly trying to hide his nervousness and the frown
threatening to break. When they found themselves in the elevator alone, Heero questioned, "Nanda? What's
wrong?"

For long moments Duo was silent as he watched the doors shut. "They haven't had me on the testing and
lab floor since I first came." Heero glanced at him quickly. Duo seemed about to say more but shook his
head and sighed. "Guess we'll find out why soon enough."

The doors opened and they exited the elevator and headed to one of the waiting rooms. Duo checked in
with the nurse at the desk before joining Heero in taking a seat in the small waiting area. They sat in
silence, debating with themselves what was going on. Finally the woman who had been on the vid-phone
that morning appeared through closed doors. She raised a hand in greeting to Duo. "Alright, Duo-kun, come
on back. There's some things to discuss." When both boys rose and went to meet her she studied Heero. "A
friend?" she asked.

Duo shrugged, "You could say that." The doctor nodded her head and led them down the whitewashed halls
and past many rooms and supply closets. Finally she motioned them into a small room. Cabinets lined the
top part of one of the walls and beneath it was a counter and sink. Two wooden chairs sat off to the side
while in the middle a chair, looking like it belonged in the dentist's office, sat. The doctor directed Duo to sit
in the middle chair while she had Heero sit in one of the wooden chairs. "Why did you call me up here,
Enju?" Duo asked hesitantly.

"It's because of some results Sally found… now if she gets here we can begin." Enju glanced into the
hallway and then came back into the room and took a seat on a movable stool. "She may be a tad late. So,
how have you been doing?" she inquired as she began the normal checkups of temperature and pulse.

"Tired often. Still not too hungry." Duo sighed before continuing. "Coughing comes up every now and then
too."

The door to the room shut and Sally turned to face the others with a folder in hand. "Sorry that I'm late –
caught up at the lab. Oh, Heero!" She was surprised for a moment and chanced a look at Duo, who
shrugged. "Well, guess we'll get down to business right away, ne?" She moved to lean against the counter
and sat her folder down. Her face turned professional and solemn as she flipped through her notes.

"So what is this about?" Heero questioned, shifting in the chair for a better position. He was getting a
queasy feeling about all of this.

Sally cleared her throat and then looked seriously at Duo. "Duo-kun, I've gone through some of the previous
tests and finding some things… not too good. We'll need another blood sample to look through a few things.
The way things are going it seems the poison-virus is speeding up; I'm not sure if we can slow it."

Closing his eyes, Duo let a very small smile don on his face as he nodded. At the moment he couldn't find
his voice, too nervous that his voice would crack.

Heero sat on the side, gritting his teeth and grabbing the armrests. /Poison…? It's… poison? And speeding
up now… oh God…/

Enju produced the supplies for a blood sample. Slipping on plastic gloves, she took the rubber band [the
ones they use for blood tests, not a serious rubber-band] and tied it above Duo's elbow as she prepared to
take the blood sample. Once she was done Enju nodded and left the room.

"She'll take that to a lab," Sally informed the two boys. She sat on the stool Enju had previously occupied
and moved over to sit beside Duo. "You're doing fine, right? You never really explained the other day."

Duo waved her off. "Stop the fussing, Sally. I'm fine. It's bad enough that I have a house full of people
worrying over me." He made a face. The blonde medic smiled slightly but sadly. "Sally~ don't use that face!
Oi… you know how annoying it is?"

"Duo-kun," Sally warned playfully. He grinned and stuck his tongue out in reply.

It was Heero's voice that drew the two from their banter. "When you say the process is speeding up, what
will happen?"

Duo avoided Heero's look and instead focused on the now sober Sally. "Unfortunately it means that it'll be
much sooner when we'll have to give pain medication. The symptoms will get worse much quicker than we
had expected – hence giving us less time to work on a cure. Because of the process speeding up we won't
be able to guess when the time has passed." Heero narrowed his eyes and gripped his fists tighter. Duo sat
immobile and emotionless at the news. "We hope to do a bit more research on this newest blood sample
and find something to help with some medication. Right now… all I can say is to wait and be prepared for
anything." She looked grim. "It could be seven months, seven weeks, or seven days left. We have no way of
knowing."

"Shut up," Heero whispered in a deadly, low tone. His body was vainly holding back his nervous shakings as
he said it. Sally blinked at him for a moment, about to comment but he shouted, "Shut up!" He squeezed his
eyes shut and turned away.

Duo sighed sadly and turned his head away from the Japanese boy. Unknown to the other two people in the
room a single tear trailed down to caress the contours of his face.

Finally Sally broke the unnerving silence. "The results will not be in until at least tomorrow. I'll call with the
results, okay? How about you two head back." Duo nodded and Heero just stood. The older girl led the two
boys back to the door exiting into the waiting room and then left them to return to the lab.

As they walked down the hallway, Heero suddenly snapped. "Why the hell are you so calm?"

The other smirked suddenly. "Fascinating, now you're understanding how upset I was when you could look
perfectly calm when you pressed the self-destruct mechanism. Eh? Am I not right?" He glanced sideways at
Heero and grinned a bit. Suddenly he found himself with his back on the wall and a strong hold on either
shoulder.

"Shut up! That's different! Completely… different…" he trailed off and glared coldly at the boy in his hold.

"It's no different and you know it. You rubbed off on me, y'know," Duo comment as he tried to struggle
through Heero's hold.

"Stop it, Duo! Why did you change…? I changed, but you didn't have to… Why aren't you concerned with
this?" Heero wanted to scream, everything seemed so… unreal. Everything was blurring together and it
didn't make any sense.

Duo calmly looked Heero in the eye. "I cannot break down. How can I when I have little children looking to
me? And how can I break down when I have friends who need support themselves? Trust me, if I broke
down it would be worse for all of you." Heero's grip had lessened so Duo slipped away.

The American began walking towards the elevator and Heero hurried to catch up. No words came between
the two as they made their way to the front of the hospital. /Demo… it's so unnerving. He's just not
reacting… was it really what I was like? I just don't understand how he can be so much stronger about this
than me./ Heero sighed inaudibly as they walked down the front steps and back towards the house.

"Ne, Heero," Duo began, "you wanna do something fun? There's basketball courts at the park and…" He
trailed off when he saw that his companion wasn't paying attention. Pouting, Duo commented, "I'll bet
Quatre and Wufei would be interested. Wouldn't you like to join?" There was still no reaction and Duo just
glared. "Oi~ Heero!"

"Nani-o?" Heero asked, steadily turning his gaze to Duo.

Making a face, Duo asked his question again. "It's been a long time since playing two on two, ne? I haven't
played for a few months either."

Heero shrugged. "Fine, just ask the others."

"Yakatta!" Duo cheered and hugged Heero quickly. "Heero no sugoi!" The Japanese boy stared with wide
eyes as Duo sprinted ahead a bit. "C'mon Heero! We gotta go now! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!"

/He's just bursting with energy. Perhaps he hasn't changed yet. That's it, it seems that he should be
changed because of this but he hasn't./ A wane smile came to his lips as he jogged to catch up. /I should
be thankful. He's right, it is hard to break down when everyone is focusing on you. I just hope it doesn't
destroy him./
~~~
Quatre and Wufei eventually complied to Duo's pleading and agreed to go to the park and play two-on-two.
Duo, of course, cheered and then went to change; as did the others. Rummaging through the closet, the
American produced a basketball to drag along. He noted the hushed voices from around the corner and
rolled his eyes knowing that Wufei and Quatre were probably asking about the hospital visit. Hopefully
Heero wouldn't answer.

"Aren't we going?" Duo called from the front door. His three friends came from around the corner to join
him. "'Bout time, ne? Let's get going!"

They luckily found one of the courts free and split into two teams. Duo and Wufei paired off while Quatre
and Heero were on the other. It was different for the ex-pilots of gundams 01 and 02, since they were used
to playing on the same team.

As they played, Duo found himself weakening and unable to do as good a job at playing as he should have.
He hid it well, however, and laughed off his mistakes. Just as he let the basketball fly to score he felt
something painfully sting in his chest – gripping tightly at his insides. He cursed and knelt down. Busy with
watching the basket, Wufei turned to congratulate Duo on the point when he saw the American knelt on the
ground. "Duo!" Quatre exclaimed and rushed over.

Sweating and gritting back pain, Duo managed a smile. "Gomen, maybe too much of a game, ne?" He
managed a laugh but stopped before he started to cough.

"Come on, we're heading back," Heero announced softly, helping Duo up and wrapping a supportive arm
about the other.

Duo shut his eyes tightly and hung his head, hating to be so helpless. He tried to move from Heero's grasp
but the Japanese boy refused to let him go. To himself Duo had to admit that he didn't think he could have
walked by himself even if he tried. Finally he gave in and leaned heavily against his friend, eyes still closed.
~~~
Heero led Duo into the house and then to his room. After he got the American to lay down he worked on
slipping off Duo's socks. The longhaired boy seemed in pain by the look on his face but he wouldn't open up
and explain. "Duo…? Daijoubu desu ka?"

The other snorted and gave a short laugh. "I know you're not that blind, Heero."

"Duo…" Heero warned, frowning.

Sighing, Duo let his head rest to one side and opened his eyes. "I hurt. It'll go away soon, though. I'll just
have dinner later, I guess."

Slowly the ex-pilot of Wing Zero moved to sit on the bed where Duo could see him without moving much.
He wore a disappointed frown on his face as he studied the American. "You shouldn't hold this much pain
in. I can understand what you said earlier. Demo, let us help."

"Nani…?" Duo whispered, stunned by Heero's words. They seemed so… uncharacteristic. "Heero…?"

Heero bent down and brushed Duo's bangs away from his eyes. "Get some rest. I'll get you some dinner
later. If the pain doesn't go down, let us know and we'll get you some painkillers." Duo continued to stare
up at him with a bewildered look; Heero had to fight the temptation of giving a smile. He quickly stood up
as foreign feelings filled his veins. A little more hurried than he intended, Heero murmured an 'oyasumi' and
left the room.

Behind him he could have sworn he heard Duo's voice. "Oyasumi, Hee-chan…"

/What's happening to me?/ Heero mused as he entered the living room where Quatre and Wufei were
talking solemnly. "Nanda?"

Quatre turned and lifted his eyebrows. "He's okay…? What was it that happened at the hospital?"

"He's okay now…" Heero paused. "About the hospital, Sally has the suspicion that the poison-virus is
speeding up."

For a while there was simply silence as the words sunk in. Quatre shook his head and studied his hands in
his lap. Finally he managed to speak again. "I talked to Trowa when you two were gone. I told him what's
going on… he's coming, leaving as soon as possible. Anyway, I looked through a few things and I think
Relena's narrowing down where you can be."

Heero's eyebrow twitched in annoyance at the words. "She may be a good peace delegate, but, damn, is
she a persistent stalker!"

Both Wufei and Quatre coughed discretely at Heero's words. They were both a bit stunned at the outburst
but also found it rather… amusing. It would have been something Duo would have loved to bug Heero
about.

/We're all going to be together again, Duo… is that what you wanted? Will you be happy then? Or is there
something more…? You mentioned something before – having two wishes. What is your other one?/ Heero
pondered the thought as Quatre got up to start making dinner.
~~~
Every nerve in his body was hey-wire and filled with odd blasts of pain. In places he felt pinned and trapped
while in others he felt burning heat or freezing cold. He had no real sense of his body anymore; simply free-
falling… falling apart.

He opened his mouth but stopped himself for screaming out. He had to hold on and keep up his strength,
helping his friends through this. He writhed in the out torturing pains as time dragged on and could see past
scenes playing through his friends.

The scene with Heero at the nightclub and then the walk home. He could hear Sally's news from that day
echoing in his head. Everything was speeding up and leaving him behind in a blur. The speed caused winds
to tear at his clothes and he could feel his braid coming undone and his hair flying out behind him. He
began to cry silently as he felt himself slipping back with the wind. An extended hand suddenly appeared to
him and he stared.

The hand soon was attached to a pale arm reaching out. Following up he could see the green of a familiar
tank top and he shouted in relief. He shouted out again and reached for the hand but the wind kept
dragging him back. Soon more of the body was revealed and the ever-piercing, cobalt blue eyes smiled at
him as he struggled to get hold of himself. The lips were turning up in a smile as he began to fight against
the blur and wind.

Their fingertips touched and suddenly the wind and blur was gone. Reality and wakefulness dropped down
on him like a landslide and Duo's eyes shot open. He sat up quickly and gripped at the sheets. He grimaced
when the pain in his chest started again. He muttered a few things to himself as he got himself to shake off
the dream.

"Maxwell, you up now?" Wufei's voice called through the closed door. "Maxwell?"

"H-hai?"

Wufei opened the door and peered in, frowning slightly. "Daijoubu desu ka? We thought we heard
something…"

"Daijoubu. Just a little hungry. I think I'll get up and have dinner now." He stood a little shakily but
managed as he tread down the hall with Wufei walking beside him. Heero and Quatre looked up as they
passed through the living room. "Konnichiwa," Duo greeted as he went into the kitchen. Wufei heated some
leftovers for him and gave them to Duo before the American returned to sit and eat in the living room.

"Feeling better?" Quatre asked. Duo bobbed his head up and down as he took another bite of ramen.
"Trowa will be arriving soon."

Duo eyed Quatre wearily as he ate. "I'm assuming you already told him. Oh well. Hmm…" He shrugged to
himself and continued to eat. The others studied him a bit before bringing up small talk. The evening
passed and soon it was rather late at night when they turned in. Wufei was the one who made everyone
leave since he made his bed on the couch and so the other pretty much had to accept it was time for bed.

"Oyasumi, Quatre," Duo called as both retreated to their respective rooms. Heero followed in after Duo.
"You're still okay sleeping on the floor? We can switch spots, y'know."

"Daijoubu. It's fine," Heero responded. Duo peeled off his T-shirt and slipped into his preferred nightshirt.
For a moment the Japanese boy watched but then got about preparing himself for bed too. "Oyasumi, Duo."

Heero was settling onto his 'bed' on the floor when Duo responded softly, "Oyasumi… Hee-chan…"

The lights went out and for a while Heero lay there thinking over the two times Duo had used that…
nickname. Finally he couldn't stand pondering it himself anymore and he spoke aloud. "Duo, what's going
on with this… 'Hee-chan' thing?"

He could practically hear Duo's surprise. "Um… ano… er… I… it just came to me! I dunno…" He sounded
like he was pouting, his typical way of getting out of things uncomfortable for him.

In the dark Heero rolled his eyes and then sat up. "Hn. I just want to know why. It was sudden; I'm not
quite… mad."

"Not, quite mad?" Duo teased. "Shows that I don't have a chance! Can't have you following through on
those 'omae o korosu' threats now, can we? I mean it wouldn't really matter since, but – "

Heero was on his feet and gripping Duo by the shoulders before he even knew was happening. He was
relieved for the darkness, not wanting anyone to see the tears beginning to form. "Shut up! Stop talking like
that!" His voice cracked as he whispered harshly, "Duo no baka… Duo no baka…" Suddenly he moved his
hands from Duo's shoulders and brought the American into a tight embrace. He buried his face at the base
of Duo's neck. "Don't talk like that…" he murmured softly.

Carefully Duo brought his arms about Heero and began to stroke his hair. He felt the shudders coming from
Heero's body and let his lips turn upward grimly. /You see, now, Heero? I cannot break down, for even
people like you are needing comfort. You won't let the others help you, either. It's up to me. It'll be similar
with Wufei./ He sighed softly and let his lips rest on Heero's hair without letting the other boy know. A few
tears leaked from Duo's eyes too and fell to mix with Heero's.

"Duo… how can you…?" Heero's voice was hardly audible but Duo had been listening for it. "… … … what
are you doing to… me?"

"That's something I don't know, Hee-chan," Duo murmured in reply. He loosened his embrace so that Heero
could slip away if he wished. "You are very changed, however…" He smiled slightly in the dark. "That's
good, I know you can care. Heero, we have to deal with new obstacles. They're not nearly as serious as a
war, now, but they can often be just as important. We just have to try making it through…" He trailed off
and closed his eyes. "I think you're learning to move on. That's what's so new to you. But you've got me,
Quatre, Wufei… Trowa… so many people. Hey, even Relena-'sama'." He could feel Heero's glare and
grinned. He gave another brief hug. "Oi, you're doing a good job. Don't close off like before…"

Heero was trying to understand where Duo was coming up with the mini-speech, it didn't fit what Heero
was asking vocally but was answering some of the internal questions he was wondering about. Regretfully
he moved from the comforting embrace and stood. "… … … Arigatou Duo."

"No prob, go to sleep. Mornings come quick as you know." His hand was squeezed tightly by Heero's before
the Japanese boy made his way to his makeshift bed. /Oyasumi, Hee-chan. I just wish I could have said one
thing more, but you're too worked up for that news right now./ Duo sighed and lay down again, falling into
a night of actually pleasant dreams.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~

~~~~~
Series: Zetsumei no Yochimu
Part: Four of Six (perhaps 6 parts…?)
Part Title: Breaking [unedited]
XTRA WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: Very, very angst-y. Incredibly so. Depressing. Duo starts
to loose it.
By: Shinigami Goddess (Lionna)
E-mail: shinigami_goddess@netzero.com
Rating: PG-13ish
Pairings: 3x4/4x3 (implied and hinted), 1+2/2+1 mildly, 1x2/2x1 eventually
Warnings: EW has not and will not happen for this story, MAJOR Relena bashing, some
language, MAJOR angst. Shonen-ai hints.
New notes!!: I have chosen a background song now! If you have an "Evita" CD [CD 2] put it on
track 14: You Must Love Me. BEAUTIFUL song… it's so moving.
Started: September 3, 2000 Completed: September 3, 2000
~~~~~
Duo rinsed the soapy suds from his silky-soft hair before applying the conditioner. He paused for a bit and
thought over all the times during missions in the past in which he tried to get closer to the stoic, Japanese
pilot. He had repeatedly tried to show more interest in the boy other than friendship… but that hadn't been
working. Seemed he couldn't get a reaction of acknowledgement. "Still can't," Duo pointed out aloud.

He sadly half-smiled as he went about finishing washing. "I… still just wish… to let him know. At least
before I go…" his smile completely vanished and Duo turned off the water. He wrung out his wet hair then
stepped from the shower and began to towel off.

The towel fell to the floor and he reached out to grab his clothes to slip on. He hung up the wet towel and
took another, dry, towel and wrapped it turban-style about his head before walking out. From the kitchen
he could smell breakfast starting. Smiling a bit, Duo made his way there. "Oi! Quatre, smells good. Perhaps
you should be cooking instead of me!" The blonde looked up from the stove and waved Duo in, smiling
kindly.

"I wouldn't want to take your job," Quatre replied, finishing with the eggs and toast.

"Interesting head gear," Wufei finally commented from across the table. Duo stuck his tongue out and
patted his towel-turban gently. Quatre shook his head and brought three plates to the table.

Duo blinked and looked at Quatre as he sat down. "Where's Heero?"

The blonde shrugged and moved his fork around his plate. "He left early this morning… I'm really not sure
where to. He's been gone since." Duo nodded a bit sadly but didn't comment again.

After breakfast was done, Quatre promised to do the dishes while Wufei and Duo went into the living room
to talk. They began to talk about the missions they had done in the past during war and how long ago it
seemed even though only five months had passed. The front door was heard opening and the boys got up
to see what was going on. Heero walked in, expressionless as per usual. He sat down at one end of the
couch and looked at Wufei and Duo who were standing there and blinking at him. "What?"

Duo rubbed the back of his neck and gave a short laugh, "Eh… nothing…" He sat back down and Wufei
followed his example. Their conversation started up again and occasionally Heero would join in. Finally
Quatre finished with dishes and came out to talk too.

"Test results come in today." The statement pretty much froze the others. It'd been two days since the last
trip to the hospital and neither day had Duo been seeming as fit and energetic as during the war. The
American smiled lightly and stretched his arms above his head before bringing them down so that his hands
could undo the towel about his head. "Hey, it won't be so bad, guys," he tried to reassure them. "Sally will
just call and let us know what's up." He shrugged and stood up with his towel in hand as he walked off.

Moments later he returned with a brush and comb in hand. He leaned over a bit so that his hair was a
curtain about him as he brushed through it. Something was gripping in his chest painfully and he felt like
cracking and curling up to just sob out all the frustration. Fighting it back. Duo continued to brush his hair
and was thankful for nothing being directed to him as conversation wearily started up.

He began to split his hair into three parts and then twined them together for a braid. Tying the end, Duo
again stood and went to the bathroom to drop off his hair stuff. Taking a stuttering breath, he slipped into
the study and brought his laptop out with him into the living room. "Gotta check mail," he said absently as
he turned the power on.

Breezing through the names, Duo frowned and opened the e-mail that had caught his eyes. Sighing, he
shook his head. "Oi, Heero, she's still looking." He made a face and then grinned. Heero glared at him and
didn't say anything.

"She better not actually find him here," Wufei noted, "last time you two got into an incredible cat fight."

Duo flushed and went back to checking his mail. Muttering, "Hey… she was being a pain in the ass… let It
go…" Wufei chuckled softly at the response.

As he looked through, Duo carefully controlled his breathing and opened the mail from Sally. She said
nothing besides to call her as soon as possible. He bit the inside of his cheek and casually shut down the
laptop and stood. "Be back in a few," he called over his shoulder.

In the study he set the laptop down and sank into the chair at his desk. Moving the vid-phone forward so
that he was looking in it, Duo put shaky fingers to dial the number. Soon Sally's face appeared on screen,
tight and drawn. "Ohayo. I thought it would be you. Sorry for not explaining in the message what's
happening."

He waved it off with a simple gesture but she could see it was half-hearted. "Not at all, I get the chance to
talk to you now and ask questions if I have any."

Sally averted her eyes. "You probably will have many questions…" she commented regretfully. She looked
back up and sighed. "It's unfair of me to leave you in the dark like this. I'm sorry. Three to four weeks, Duo.
I don't even think that long if you keep up as you have been. I… had to tell you the truth." Duo turned, his
profile showing on screen. He swallowed as his mask dropped. "Duo-kun…?" she called softly.

Duo took a breath, the air hitching in his throat. "Gomen, Sally… thank you." He managed a weak smile and
opened his mouth to speak. Not able to control it, tears suddenly tracked down his face and his breath
hitched painfully. "Gomen nasai…" he whispered again, gripping his head with one hand as he looked away.

"Duo-kun…" she whispered. But the connection was cut and her image disappeared from the screen.

He couldn't allow himself to cry… he just couldn't. If he did, what were the others going to do? They'd not
be able to hang on. Then again, he wouldn't be able to relay the information he had just been given… He
knew he couldn't. Finally calming, Duo wiped away his tears and straightened himself up. He stood and
walked towards the front door. He paused by the living room entrance and pasted on a brilliant smile. "I'm
going to take a walk, see you guys later, okay?"

"Oh, alright… but Duo…?" Quatre called. Duo was already slipping on his shoes. "Duo!"

"Nani?"

Quatre came into the hallway at looked at the other boy. Something was off… but he wasn't quite sure
what. "Could we go with you?" Duo shook his head to signal he wanted to be alone. "At least someone?"
Quatre pleaded.

"I'm going," Heero stated, coming out from behind Quatre and walking to Duo to slip his own shoes. "Come
on." Duo blinked and followed in confusion. The blonde sweatdropped as they left, that was… interesting.
~~~
"Where are we going?" Heero asked as he was dragged along down the streets towards the tall business
and warehouse buildings of L2.

Duo kept on, shrugging a bit. "One of my favorite places to be…" The American had barely talked after they
left the house. Heero had noted that the smile was continually falling though for what reason he did not
know. "Let's just keep on going so you can see."

Heero stayed silent and continued to follow. There was something off, now, about the longhaired boy. The
others had noticed too, he was sure of that. He was confused when Duo walked up the steps of a tall
building and motioned for him to hurry up. Following, Heero wondered where and why they were going.
Once Heero caught up, Duo dragged him into an elevator and hit the button for the top floor. "Duo, what
are you doing?"

"You mean, we don't you?" He smiled and didn't answer the question. Heero made a bit of a face at that
but allowed himself to be dragged into whatever this was. A ding signaled their arrival as the doors slid
open. Duo walked out and down the hall to the left and opened a door marked 'roof'. Heero blinked and
wonder what in the world he wanted to do.

The door was opened and Duo glanced back to check that Heero was following. Shrugging, the
longhaired boy turned and went up the stairs. Eventually Heero followed too. Heero made it to
open air again and found Duo resting his elbows on a railing running about the roof. The boy's
loose strands of hair waved about like banners as a mild breeze passed through.

Duo sighed contently as he looked across the colony from the top of the building. "Not exactly beautiful, but
still stunning… ne, Hee-chan?" They were on the roof of the tallest building in the colony and looking out
over the run-down buildings. Indeed it wasn't the most beautiful sight but it was stunning nevertheless.
"Ne, Hee-chan? Heero…?"

The Japanese boy turned his head to look at Duo with a questioning glance. "Nanda?" He paused for a
second before asking another question. "Why did you want to come up here?"

A small smile graced Duo's lips as he looked over the railing again. "No one seems to come here. I needed
to get out of the house a bit… I hoped you'd like it here. It's a place where we can actually be alone, Hee-
chan." His tone was wistful and Heero felt wary. He glanced sidelong at Duo and found the American
watching him with half-lidded eyes.

"Duo…?" Heero moved from his position at the railing and faced Duo fully. "Daijoubu desu ka?"

"Hai, of course," Duo replied huskily as he too moved to face Heero. He seemed to ponder something for a
bit before moving closer to Heero and bringing his arms up to circle about Heero's shoulders lightly. Heero's
eyes widened in surprise as he studied Duo's expression. "You said you wanted to know my other wish."

"H- hai… demo…"

"You still do, ne?" Heero nodded carefully. "Hee-chan, arigatou for being here." Silence spread for a long
time and very suddenly Duo pressed in against Heero's lips. The kiss was gentle but there was some
desperate meaning behind it. Heero was completely startled and broke the kiss off early as he pushed
himself and Duo back a few steps. The American had turned to be facing sideways and his hair was
covering his bowed face.

"You- you're just… joking… right?!" Heero asked, stunned and not quite believing what had happened.

Duo lifted his head up quickly and Heero gasped painfully when he saw a few tears flying in the breeze. "Of
course I'm joking!" Duo shouted before running towards the steps and down back into the building.

Heero stood there in mid-motion, foot prepared to walk and a hand out-stretched to reach for Duo. His face
was a mix of pain and bewilderment. /What was that?!/ his mind asked. /Duo… what were you trying to
say… I… Duo…/ He managed to get his feet to move and finally he was rushing down the steps and to the
elevators. He could see that an elevator was down a few floors and heading down, probably Duo.

He stood there and watched the floor light up one by one, going down and down… Heero rushed back up
the stairs and leaned over the railing to look above the front entrance. Sure enough, the trademark braid
was flinging out behind Duo as he ran down the streets. Cursing himself, Heero slipped to the ground. Duo
wasn't in the mood to be caught; he wouldn't be caught. Not even by someone who used to be titled as the
Perfect Soldier.

/Gomen nasai… I'm so sorry… what was that about?/
~~~
"They must be back," Quatre commented as he went to answer the door, Wufei following just
behind. "Hey guys --…. Trowa!" He exclaimed, leaping up to wrap his arms about the taller boy's
neck. Wufei snickered and Trowa just glared at him as he wound his free arm about the smaller
boy.

"Sorry for being so late," he finally said, pulling back from the embrace. "There were many
different complications."

Quatre smiled up at him brilliantly. "That doesn't matter! You're here now and that's the most
important thing! Come on, I'll show you around."

"You're obviously sharing a room with Quatre," Wufei said as he followed behind the two and
both glared back at him. The Chinese boy looked at them with a blank, innocent expression.
"What, it's the truth, isn't it?" Quatre sighed and continued on.


They retired to the living room with Quatre bringing in a tray with tea. They began catching up
and the conversation turned grave as Trowa was filled in with all that was happening with Duo.
The front door knob rattled a bit and Quatre stood up, repeating his earlier statement with a
smile. "They must be back."

Suddenly they heard the front door swing open wildly and hit the wall. The sound of stumbling
footsteps were heard again. All three boys hurried to move and find out what was going on. Duo
stumbled past in a hurry, chest heaving and tears staining his cheeks. He didn't even spare them
a glance as he ran to his room clumsily and shut the door. The click of a lock followed.

Quatre rushed after, something tearing inside. "Duo! Duo! Daijoubu?! DUO!" He pounded on the
door hard. /No… not again! Duo stop closing people out!/ "Duo! What happened? Daijoubu?!"
He slowly stopped pounding, hands aching. He slid down to his knees and rested his forehead
against the wooden door. What had happened?

Trowa rested a comforting hand on Quatre's shoulder and pulled him up to lean against him.
Wufei turned away and returned to the living room, pondering the events. "Where's Heero,
then?"

Wufei looked back over his shoulder and answered Trowa, "They went out for a walk. Who
knows where Heero is now?" Trowa guided Quatre into the living room so that he could finish
catching up with everything, he was still a bit lost.

The vid-phone rang and Wufei rose to get it. Opening it up on the coffee table, Sally's face came
into view. "You have the results?" Quatre questioned worriedly.

Sally looked the three boys over and was surprised to see Trowa. "Hello Trowa, it's good that you
could make it now." She turned her attention back to Quatre, she didn't seem at all surprised he
didn't know yet. "I gave them to Duo this morning. I doubted he'd tell you. I just had to give him
a bit different information, though. It was a bit shorter than we thought."

"Na… na…ni?" Quatre barely was able to force it out of his trembling lips.

"Three weeks. No longer. Be on the lookout, please. For the first time I actually saw him break
down this morning. He's holding too much in," she looked sad. "That's… all. Ja ne."

"Jya…" Trowa whispered as the connection ended.

Wufei was bent over, face hidden by his hands. Quatre just buried himself against Trowa and
sobbed freely. "Three weeks…" he gasped in barely a whisper. "Oh gods Trowa…" The tall boy
encircled Quatre tightly in a warm embrace as a few tears trekked down his own face.
~~~
Aika came by at lunch but the mood was so heavy that she decided to hand out the meals near
her apartment instead. She asked what the news was and was distressed to hear. She murmured
her apologies and left the house for the boys to be alone.

Wufei was sitting with a book open in his lap but the page hadn't been turned in at least ten
minutes. His eyes weren't even trailing over the pages. Quatre stood in the kitchen, half-
heartedly making a meal for them. Trowa was in their shared room, unpacking. It was silent
since Duo's sobs had long since been muffled and trailed off.


Duo lay on his stomach, face buried in his pillow. He had been curled up but once the violent
sobbing had stopped he had managed to lay a bit flatter. He hugged the pillow closer, trying to
stop his tears. He ached so much from crying. There was no way he could go face his friends
now… or maybe never. He didn't know what to do. Another fit of tears started and he buried his
head away from the world.

He wasn't even sure what was upsetting him any longer. There was just too much happening to
figure that out. /That was so stupid. What's Heero supposed to think now?/ He'd just wanted to
finally be out in the open and explain… he'd done it by actions. That probably wasn't the best
approach with Heero since he was still learning to use his emotions. He could have just blown his
chance.

Was Trowa here, now? He didn't' even know. He'd thought he'd seen a third person standing in
the living room but then again he'd been mostly blinded by tears. He'd heard Quatre screaming
at him through the door, trying to figure out what was going on. He hadn't really cared at the
time, too worked up himself to worry about how the others were feeling.

/I'm dying./ That statement finally registered in his brain and his breath calmed suddenly. He
shut his eyes and turned on his back. /Dying./ Somehow he found in comical and he began to
giggle insanely. Soon it was all-out laughter and tears were streaming down his face. /Dying!/ he
though with more laughter.

Oh gods… why was he laughing? His chest started to hurt and the smile gave way even when he
continued to laugh maniacally. And then he was back to sobbing again, curled tightly unto
himself as he shook with tears.


Wufei gripped his book tightly and gritted his teeth as he heard the insane laughter covering the
despair. Quatre leaned against the wall and tilted his head back to let the tears fall back to trace
along his ears. Trowa downcast his eyes and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his bag in a lax
grip.

The sobbing once again echoed from the walls. Wufei pushed his book from his lap, letting it fall
to the floor. He squeezed his eyes shut but moisture still gathered and began to trail down his
cheeks.
~~~
Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre shared a very late lunch – or was it early dinner? – at 3:30 that
afternoon. They sat silently around the table with only the sounds of their silverware hitting the
plate to fill the void.

"What do you think happened?" Wufei asked quietly.

Quatre didn't look to him. "I don't know. I think it's a build up of things. But what was it that
made him crack?"

"Heero?"

They all exchanged glances and nodded. "I've noticed it since being here that he, Duo… feels for
him." Wufei finally stated.

Quatre let out a short, bitter laugh. "More than feels, Wufei. Definitely more than that." The
other two looked at him in the beginning of surprise. "He's desperate, Duo… during the war after
you guys got out of the Lunar Base he hadn't a clue what was going on. When we met later on
he'd almost seemed changed; a lot more bitter and serious. After Heero self-destructed, too, he
was really worried about him… I was with him for a while at that point." He looked at his hands.
"I found out a lot. He may not be apparent but…"

"He loves him," Trowa finished. Quatre nodded.

"I could have guessed that," Wufei murmured to himself. "But obviously Heero is unaware. What
does this mean?"

The other two shrugged. "Duo knows that Heero probably has no clue so it shouldn't be that.
There had to be something that happened to get him to snap like this!" Quatre looked desperate
and then his face fell. "I don't know what to do, you guys. He's got three weeks. He deserves the
happiness but… Heero…"

Wufei cut him off. "Heero feels something too. Maybe not as intense as Duo's feelings but at
least nearly so. Haven't you noticed? You've been here longer than I have." Quatre hesitantly
nodded. "If so, he's going to lose it once Duo… passes on. If they don't at least get a chance he'll
always live with a million and one 'what if…?' questions. If they have a chance even for this short
time, it narrows those questions down. He shouldn't have any regrets then." He trailed off and
averted his eyes.

"Wufei…?" Quatre questioned softly, reaching a hand out to touch the other's shoulder.

The other shrugged off the helping hand and looked back. "Nothing, just remembering…" The
Arab bit his lip but didn't say anything.

"What do we do then?" Trowa asked. "You know that neither can figure out what to do."

Quatre shrugged sadly. "I don't know what to do. I really want to talk to Duo but he's so upset…
I'm not sure Heero will listen either. It would seem too new for him to understand." He sighed.
"Let's keep thinking…" off-handedly he added, "we don't have much time." The other two nodded
and they finally got to eating.
~~~
Duo sat up in bed, resting his chin on his knees. He'd fallen asleep earlier after repeatedly
hiccuping. He was now sure that Trowa was here, he'd heard his other friend's voice. He wanted
to go welcome him but felt too weak to do so. He hadn't heard Heero at all yet. He frowned.
Would he not come back? /Baka./ his mind scolded bitterly.

He turned his face so that his cheek now rested against his knees. Absently he wondered what
was going to happen now. What was he supposed to do? He still couldn't force himself to face
his friends… he just didn't know what to do. Wanting to start crying again, he held back and let
out a shaky sigh.

He stood and walked to his dresser mirror and glared at his reflection. He looked a mess, hair
sticking up all over the place and tear tracks still apparent. "Blech. And I took a shower this
morning too…" his voice was hoarse he noted with distaste. His stomach urged to get food too
but he really was not ready to get talking again with the others.

Moving to the window, he stared out and wished to be back on earth, looking up at the skies and
seeing the trees and plants all around. He smiled wistfully and turned back to his room. He just
hadn't any idea what to do. There was an empty ache in his chest. The knowledge of his up-
coming death was beginning to press in and the acknowledgement of his mistake today with
Heero was pounding at him.

His head bowed forward and he dragged his fingers through his bangs. God he felt like shit… He
chuckled softly at the thought and settled down on the bed again. He was dying, he was getting
weaker… now what could he do? How was he supposed to help everyone through this? How was
he supposed to help the kids that came by everyday for their one true meal?

How was he helping at all? What could he actually do? He began to wonder why his friends were
even sticking around. This was never where he wanted to be in his life. He'd always wanted to
travel after the war and have some fun not being confined anymore. And yet, here he was.
Confined to L2 in his house… but with his friends.

A single tear trailed along his nose and he licked it away with a quick flick of his tongue. There
was so much he was hiding from his friends, from himself, from Heero. He was frightened that if
he did reveal them then everything would fall apart. Hell, he'd already broken that day by
slipping up in desperation.

/I just want him to know and understand…/ he thought with a plead. But he couldn't force Heero
to understand something he knew nothing of. Duo sighed and rubbed his temples. So what was
he going to do now? He owed Trowa a greeting in the very least. He'd just have to keep up with
the mask and ignore any questions that referred to his breakdown today.

He just couldn't have them worrying. With determination, Duo stood and straightened his clothes
and softly opened his door and slipped down the hall to the bathroom. He washed off his face
and re-braided his hair. That done, he placed a large smile on his face but even he could see the
haunted eyes.

The smile faded and he averted his gaze, teeth nibbling his lip. /I don't think I can do this…/ was
the desperate cry echoing in his heart. And he knew it was the truth too. There just wasn't
anything he could do anymore. He was feeling so incredibly weak as it was… it was exhausting
him more than anything just to keep up his non-pained face.

Looking back in the mirror he could only see a weak boy who couldn't help himself or his friends.
The skin was thin on his cheeks and that morning he had re-confirmed the ability to see his ribs
easily through his skin. /It really isn't much longer, is it?/ he thought bitterly. He gripped the sink
with white knuckles and stared down, biting his lip tightly.

His head came up in a flash, eyes angry, and stared at the mirror again. Without thinking, he
brought a fist up and smashed the glass. It shattered and pieces when flying. He didn't even
care. Now, as he looked at his distorted and cracked reflection, he saw the correct image of
himself. He laughed bitterly as the tears started again. He heard the rushing footsteps towards
his room and then the shouts coming towards the bathroom. He unlocked the door. No use
hiding anymore. He just continued to stare at his reflection, grinning like an idiot and chuckling.
~~~
Quatre tripped over his chair as he jumped and sprinted down the hall towards Duo's room. It
was open and already Wufei was hurrying to the bathroom. They were surprised when the door
was unlocked. Glancing quickly at each other, they allowed themselves to open the door.

Shattered pieces of glass lay about the floor and the mirror over the sink was cracked, distorting
the images grotesquely. Duo was staring at his reflection, chuckling softly and grinning. Quatre
felt sick. Why hadn't he been helping his friend earlier? He should have seen this coming…

Trowa moved in, not caring about the glass under his feet. Duo was bleeding from various small
cuts all over the top half of his body. The American didn't even look back to his friend, still
looking at his reflection and letting the tears leak unnoticed from his eyes.

Very suddenly the American was spun around and he halted everything abruptly in surprise.
Then he began to cry, the sound haunting in the small room. He collapsed against Trowa and
gripped him tightly, needing something to hold on to. Trowa's eyes flickered with hidden
emotions as he let his fingertips trail over the silky hair.

"Daijoubu," he murmured softly to the weeping boy. "Daijoubu."
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
I apologize for this long-overdue part. I hope I made up for it even though it is
actually a page or two shorter than the other ones. I have an MP3 version of "You
Must Love Me" so if you'd like the background song, let me know and I'll mail it to
you.

This is for Aurelie-san, even if she doesn't like sad endings. ::sweatdrop:: Still, she's
the one who actually convinced me to start working on my Gundam Wing fanfics
again so go thank her if you've been waiting for my stories. ^__^

Yes this was a very depressing part and I apologize to all the fellow Duo-worshipers
who found this horrid to Duo-chan-koi. ;;U.U The last Duo-centered scene is based on
the background song to this fic, actually, because I got stuck on what to write. I
followed to the song's lyrics and hence added two more pages to this chapter. Jya,
look for more! :)

~~~~~
Series: Zetsumei no Yochimu
Part: Five of Six
Part Title: One Week [unedited]
By: Shinigami Goddess (Lionna)
E-mail: shinigami_goddess@netzero.com
Rating: PG-13ish
Pairings: 3x4/4x3 (implied and hinted), 1+2 mildly, 1x2/2x1 eventually
Warnings: EW has not and will not happen for this story, MAJOR Relena bashing, some
language, MAJOR angst. Shonen-ai hints.
Background song: Track 14 of "Evita" CD Song: You Must Love Me. Ask me and I'll send you an
MP3 of the song! :)
Started: September 5, 2000 Completed: September 12, 2000
~~~~~
The front door opened with barely a sound and he stepped in with heavy steps. His emotions
were in a twist, unable to be untangled. He just couldn't figure out what was happening, what he
was feeling. Perhaps he ought to figure it out fast, he realized. Something was not feeling right.
He slipped his shoes off and paused. It was so silent in the house and it let an eerie feel creep
around him in a suffocating thickness.

Frowning, he moved down the hallway silently and finally heard soft voices. Coming into the
living room and facing the back of the couch, he was surprised to find Trowa sitting there with
his back to him. Quatre and Wufei sat on other chairs, facing the taller boy with distressed
expressions.

Blinking in surprise, the blonde turned his attention to the newcomer. "Heero! We didn't hear you
come in. Are you okay? We couldn't figure out why you were out alone!"

The phrase clicked in his mind right away and Heero strode forward, asking, "Duo came back? Is
he still here?"

"Right here," Trowa told him, turning his head back to spare a sidelong look to Heero. The
Japanese boy moved to come to the front of the couch and looked down at the longhaired boy
with his head pillowed by Trowa's lap.

"He was crying?" Heero asked, squatting down to get a better look at the tear-stained face. His
frown deepened when he saw cuts all over the boy's face. "What happened to him?"

Heero stood up again and looked around. Wufei met his eyes. "He came back in a hysterical state
and locked himself in his room for hours. He didn't come out until an hour or so ago. He broke
the mirror with his fist and was cut. Just as soon as we got the last of the glass out of him he'd
fallen asleep. We haven't dared move him."

"Heero," Quatre's voice caught the other boy's attention. The blonde took a deep breath and
then spoke. "Sally cannot promise longer than three weeks. It could be even sooner, Heero…"

Stunned, Heero controlled himself and slid down into an empty seat. "Three weeks…" he
repeated. No one answered. His cobalt eyes focused on the tear-stained face and his mind
flashed back to the event on the roof.

"Y-you're just j-joking… r-right…?"
"Of course I'm just joking!"

/You weren't joking…/ Heero turned away and closed his eyes in thought. What was he supposed
to do? It was obvious Duo wanted something more… his actions were proving that and they were
pretty obvious, but even so his mind refused to accept them. /Why not…?/ he asked himself.

/It'll just be more painful when he goes. You'll have lost him too soon…/

/But if I don't do anything… he'll just be gone… there would have been nothing…/

/Better that than be hurt./

/Demo…/

"Heero, Wufei had gotten up and was standing before the other Asian boy. "You're going to lose
him too soon. Don't you think you ought to make that short time worth it? Or will you live with all
the regrets and pains of 'what if…?'? You decide, Yuy. I just wouldn't recommend taking the
'what if…' choice." He turned and moved to the hallway. "It's about time I got a walk." A few
minutes later the door closed.

Heero rubbed his forehead. "Nani…" he muttered. "What's he saying…"

Quatre threw his hands up in exasperation and frustration, at the end of his emotional rope for
the day. "Heero, get a clue! There's no time left. If you want him, if you care for him enough…
take the little time that you have left! Don't leave him like this. Do this for both of you. You know
you need it! Wufei's right, you won't be able to deal with a 'what if…' I know you. We know you."
He sighed and turned his head away. "I'm sorry. I don't even know what happened."

There was silence for a long time and Quatre was afraid he'd angered Heero. He was surprised
when a confused voice answered, "He… ki-kissed me…"

"Nani-o?" Quatre asked, a bit startled. He turned quickly and saw Heero with his face tense as he
stared intently at his hands.

"I didn't understand… I don't understand what he's getting at… I don't know what I want." He
looked up at Quatre and shook his head. "Quatre, I don't think I can give him what he wants. I'm
not capable of it and I can't be lying to him if I'm not sure…" he sighed noisily and ran his hand
through his hair.

The blonde continued to gape at the uncharacteristic display of emotion. His features softened
and he looked over at Trowa who was silently staring down at Duo and trailing his fingertips
across Duo's hair. "Heero," Trowa finally said, not looking up, "don't do it if you don't know. Just
let him know. That will be the best relief he can get. He needs support. From what Wufei and
Quatre have told me, Duo seems to have hidden everything for the good of the rest of us. He
can't handle that, you must have realized. He just needs support. Let's at least be that for him."
Trowa finally looked up, emerald eyes with an unnatural sheen to them. Quatre bit his lip as he
realized his lover was hiding his tears.

/Trowa… what would I do if you were the one dying…?/ The blonde looked down and didn't
know what to do.

Heero just nodded in reply to Trowa, too tired to do anything else.

It was then that Duo suddenly moaned in his sleep and curled up tight into himself as he began
to twist and turn, as if in pain. Trowa reacted quickly and brought the boy into wakefulness by
sitting him up and calling. "Duo, c'mon… wake up now… Duo…?"

The reaction was obviously not from a nightmare for as soon as Duo's eyes half-opened he
continued his uncomfortable twisting. "I think I'm gonna be sick…" he whispered hoarsely,
holding back and covering his mouth with a hand. The other three stood up quickly and Quatre
and Heero flanked Trowa as the tall boy half-carried Duo quickly to the bathroom.

Holding the American's braid out of the way and rubbing a hand along his back, Trowa knelt
beside Duo on the tiled floor of the bathroom. Heero moved in a bit to keep the boy steady as he
was sick into the porcelain base of the toilet. After long minutes, the retching stopped and Duo
sagged back. Trowa quickly flushed the toilet and had Heero run a washcloth under running
water before he offered it to Duo.

Weakly, the American boy took it and wiped at his mouth and face. Eyes red and puffy from a bit
more panicked crying, Duo blinked steadily in surprise when he noted Heero. "G-gomen nasai…"
he muttered softly and looked away. He brought his shoulders up to attempt and hide his face.
"Arigatou, minna…"

"Daijoubu desu ka?" Quatre asked from the doorway, tilting his head with worry.

Duo faintly smiled to him and nodded. "Hai…" With the help of both Trowa and Heero he stood
and was moved to his bedroom. /Can I not even walk by myself, now?/ he wondered. He just
prayed it was a passing moment. The bit of weakness after being sick and using so much energy
on baffling emotions.

He did try desperately hard to keep his eyes open, there was much he needed to talk to Heero
about, but… his mind was shutting down. He opened his mouth to speak but then he felt his
body go unresponsive and he let himself slump down onto the sheets. A soft sigh escaped his lips
just as his head settled firmly into the pillow.

"I… I'm so worried," Quatre whispered, tears coming. "I don't feel so well… Duo… his emotions
are so confused." The blonde scrunched his face up and looked desperate.

Trowa rested a hand on his shoulder. "All we can do is be here for him. It hurts to say that, but
it's true." Quatre just nodded. "Let's let him rest." Trowa nodded to Heero and the three left the
room.
~~~
"He's in a lot of pain, though he refuses to complain about it to us!" Quatre wailed to Sally over
the vid phone. "Gods, Sally, he's dying and still can't ask us for help!" The blonde began to cry in
short gasps of sobs.

Sally bit her lip to see the state the younger boy was in. "Quatre… I wish I could say it's all
right…" She sighed and turned to her computer and began typing. "I can see if I can grant him
some pain medication. I don't know what to say about getting him to take them though…" She
frowned a bit and scrolled down the information that hopped onto her screen.

"Please… we'll figure out something. Just… just please let us give him this chance."

Nodding, Sally hit the affirmation key and a prescription was sent down to the lab. "Just sent the
request in. An hour and it'll be ready, okay? Want to pick it up?" The blonde boy nodded while
wiping at his flushed face. "Quatre-kun, what other symptoms have come up?"

Swallowing to try and keep calm, Quatre looked at Sally with clouded eyes. "He's getting so tired
too easily. He's not usually standing or walking, always supporting himself some way. He hates to
admit it and still hasn't. But he's getting really weak… it's like everything is speeding up
suddenly." Sally nodded sadly and motioned for him to go on. "He eats but can't keep most of it
down too easily… he's already apparently getting very thin… even within these past few days.
There's just so much tension in the house… it's as if one thing goes wrong and everything will
collapse." He sighed and pressed his hand to his face. "I'm sorry, I need to go. Trowa will drop
by and pick up the medication."

"Of course. Keep strong, Quatre," she gave a weak smile and signed off. The screen went blank
and she leaned back. It was time to begin informing the other friends of the gundam pilots. It
was unfair to keep them in the dark as it was. She nibbled on her lip and then began searching
over the network for addresses and calling numbers from many of the people from the war.


Quatre stood up and walked out of the study into the hallway. There was a clash of sounds and
then loud cursing coming from the kitchen so his pace sped up and soon he was skidding into the
kitchen and kneeling next to a bleeding Duo. The American continued to swear profusely as he
pressed his arm against his chest.

The blonde quickly assessed the situation by taking note of the partially cut vegetables on the
counter and the sharp kitchen knife a few feet away. Duo was bent over weakly on the floor with
his bloody arm and seemed to be breathing hard. Worrying, Quatre moved closer and carefully
pulled Duo's arm away from his chest. The American hissed in pain and the blonde looked over
the deep cut that ran diagonally across the middle of Duo's forearm.

/This is more damage than normal… it shouldn't be this deep…/ For the first time Quatre
realized Duo wasn't wearing long-sleeves. He'd been wearing them for a long time since Quatre
and Heero were around and rarely did he wear anything to reveal his arms. Often he hadn't worn
shorts either, but then again his skinny, smooth legs could just be taken as a natural beauty on
him.

"Duo…" Quatre began, pulling a towel from the counter and wrapping about Duo's arm to hold
the bleeding. "When did you loose so much weight…?" /Why didn't Sally notice or mention it
before?/

Duo looked away and clutched his fists. "What's it matter…?" he whispered hoarsely. "What does
it matter?" he asked louder, turning back to face Quatre with tears in his eyes. He calmed and
smiled, blinking away the tears. "It's okay, Q-chan. We'll just get this nasty accident bandaged…"
He began to stand but collapsed. "Shit…" he muttered as Quatre came under his good arm to
give him support.

"Let's go, I'll get that wrapped up." The American nodded as the two headed for the bathroom.

Later in the day Trowa came back with the pain medication. Heero and Wufei had gone out
earlier to look around the colony, hoping to find something to keep their minds occupied. Trowa
and Quatre reclined in the living room, as Duo was napping once again. They began to talk about
how they would convince Duo to take the pills.

"He has to, he's just holding too much in and it's worsening him," Quatre said. He looked at the
bottle in his hands and shook it. Sally had done her best, he just hope it would work.

Trowa nodded to the other and looked to the bottle too. "He's scared, Quatre. I'm sure you know
it. He's a wreak on the inside even though he's keeping up the smile for us. Heero is near on his
wit's end since seeing him acting practically back to normal."

Silence spread throughout the room. In a voice not even a whisper, Quatre spoke. "We're down
to perhaps a week and a half." Trowa gave no answer, knowing that Quatre just needing to get
his thoughts out. The blonde stared at the floor with unseeing eyes that were beginning to
overflow. "What if we don't get to say goodbye, Trowa…? What…. I… I don't know…" He began
to sob, hands covering his face. Trowa got up and embraced his lover tightly while whispering
anything that came to mind into Quatre's ear.

"Oh Trowa, why can't we stop this?" He clung tightly to the other boy and sobbed on his
shoulder. "It's just so unfair… how can they do this?"

They stayed in a tight embrace for a long time, neither able to let go of a comfort they found in
one another. Salty tears stained their clothing and tracked their faces. The tears just wouldn't
stop. Quatre couldn't even imagine how it would be by the time their beloved friend was truly
gone.

"Hardly two weeks…" he whispered.
~~~
Duo was angry. No, too lenient. He was damn pissed off with having his meal drugged once
again. Since Trowa had returned a few days back with a bottle of pain relievers from Sally, they'd
shown up in his meal without him realizing it. At first he'd took them at will. But they made him
even more tired than he already was and then was confined to bed. By now he could hardly
walk. Only for a minute and even that was not an easy task.

His skin on his face was showing the bones beneath. His arms were even thinner than before and
so were his legs. Sally had come by the day before and force him to take the pain medicine even
though he'd tried to fight the whole time.

Now he was sitting in the living room and glaring angrily at his friends. "Why the hell did you go
and do something like that?!" he screamed at them. "I told you to quit it!! What? You think I
want to stay in the fucking bed?!" His emotions were always amplified with the meds. It was
another thing he loathed about it. "Damnit you guys!" He rubbed furiously at his tearing eyes.

"Duo," Wufei cut in, "calm down. You know you can't handle it by yourself. If you won't relieve
yourself verbally by talking to us, then at least take this to let the physical pain go down."

Already turning groggy, Duo screwed up his face and peered through blurry eyes at the Chinese
boy. "Nani-o…?"

Wufei sighed and leaned back, "Are you going to keep it all inside…? Leaving us all to wonder if it
would have helped had we forced you to talk? Are you going to keep all those emotions pent up
inside?"

He was still quite stubborn and Duo crossed his arms and turned his head up. "What I feel should
be none of your concern. Gods…" he sagged against the back of the couch and felt his eyes
dropping. "I hate you when you guys pull this trick…" he muttered. His eyelids were barely open
and he could just see a slit of light. He felt warm hands, which he recognized to be Heero's,
situating him more comfortably on the couch.

Being in the not-quite-conscious state that he was in, Duo reached blindly with his hand to grip
Heero's wrist in a weak grasp and muttered quietly, "Mm… 'love ya'… Heero… nnn…" he fell
again into darkness and dreams embraced him.

Heero stared at Duo's sleeping form numbly while the others averted their gaze. The once
perfect-soldier had his mouth partly open in surprise and just blinked, trying to come up with
what to do and say.

"Do you love him, Heero?" Quatre asked suddenly in an odd, detached and monotone voice.

"Nani…?" Heero questioned, sinking weakly into a cushioned chair. Quatre repeated his question
without looking up. "I… can't understand it, I don't think I do on the same level he does."

Sad, crystal eyes turned their gaze to Heero. "You are best friends then, ne? You love him at
some degree, then." The blonde sighed and leaned heavily against Trowa.

For the first time, it was Wufei who announced the countdown. "One week."

/One week./
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~

~~~~~
Series: Zetsumei no Yochimu
Part: Six of Six
Part Title: Final Day [unedited]
By: Shinigami Goddess (Lionna)
E-mail: shinigami_goddess@netzero.com
Rating: PG-13ish
Pairings: 3x4/4x3 (implied and hinted), 2+1 mildly
Warnings: EW has not and will not happen for this story, MAJOR Relena bashing, some
language, MAJOR angst. Shonen-ai hints.
Background song: Track 14 of "Evita" CD Song: You Must Love Me. Ask me and I'll send you an
MP3 of the song! :)
Started: September 12, 2000 Completed: September 19, 2000
~~~~~
The coughing in the morning was day by day getting worse and it served as a wakeup call for
everyone. The first day only one of the boys would go in to help Duo up and about. As a few
days passed it was crystal clear that he wouldn't be standing at all for much longer.

"Duo?" Heero asked while helping Duo up from the bed in one of the earlier days. Duo gave a
weak smile. "Cut the crap, Duo."

The American still smiled weakly but bowed his head. "Gomen nasai, Heero."

He sighed and moved Duo to a sitting position before perching on the edge of the bed. "Duo…"
he began, for once unsure of himself. "Listen, I know how you feel about me…"

"Oh, yeah, I kinda slipped that night, eh? Stupid pain meds." Duo chuckled softly and coughed.

Heero winced. "No, Duo, daijoubu. Really. It's just that I don't think I feel the same. I… haven't
really developed emotions fully." He felt slightly embarrassed and looked away. "I've never really
understood emotions. Throughout the war I began to relearn them again." A bony hand still
warm with lifeblood wrapped about Heero's arm. Heero looked into the smiling face of Duo and
for the first time in a long while the boy looked normal. /Duo./

"Heero, it's okay. I understand this now." He gave a smile full of content and no regrets. "Thank
you for telling me." He flicked a lock of hair from Heero's eyes and laughed quietly when it fell
right back into place. Heero smiled too and watched with fading hope as Duo began to look once
again like the skeletal figure that a poison was devouring. His skin was even tinting a sickish
gray.

Sally stopped by at least once a day and sometimes even three times. Often she'd find the boys
gathered in the living room playing a board or card game. Sometimes they'd be chatting or just
sitting and relaxing. Though underneath all the seemingly perfect scenes the tension was still
there. It would break, as Quatre said, if anything went wrong. And much too many things could
go wrong.

One morning Duo requested them all to stay in his room and just hang out and talk for the day.
He snuggled up in a half-sit in the middle of his bed while the other four sat on the edge around
him.

"Don't you guys ever wonder about some of the others we met during the war?" Duo questioned,
putting on an inquisitive face. The others shrugged.

"We obviously know about Relena. Noin's with her, Sally's here, Catherine's at the circus and
Trowa's always around her, then who's that leave?"

Heero answered for Wufei, "Dorothy and Hilde."

"Hilde is fine," Duo spoke up. "I don't know about Dorothy though. Are those loony doctors still
alive?" The others exchanged weary glances. "Er… I wouldn't think they would be but…"

"They survived all the time throughout the war," Quatre pointed out. "They kept on being safe
during all that time on the Lunar Base. The one I'm wondering about is Zechs. He couldn't…
really be dead… could he? I don't know why it seems impossible but it does."

Heero shrugged, "He didn't seem to have much of a chance in that fight."

"But neither did you," Trowa pointed out. "He was the stronger one, you realize. You became
stronger throughout that last battle though and caused the damaging hit… your last battle was
still cut off." He smirked a bit with the irony. "I don't think you were ever meant to battle one
another."

"Perhaps so," Heero responded with a shrug.

Duo grinned and waved a finger in Heero's face. "Tro's right, you just hate to admit someone's
better than you! Hate to believe you weren't the only perfect soldier!" He laughed at the
indignant look on Heero's face.

"You may think what you want," Heero growled back. "That's not it, though!" His eyebrow
twitched in annoyance as Duo just smirked at him.

They talked long into the afternoon and ate dinner in Duo's room. They mentioned their thoughts
on where they'd be after the war and how their ideas had completely altered. They remembered
good and bad times with friends and pondered over what the others thought now. They joked
and laughed; they smiled, they gossiped. They were their inner, true selves for the first time in
ages. Depressing moods were cleaned away with the glad memories, and wistful regrets came
with the sad.

It was a relief and blessing to have that day of bonding. And later, four of the boys might
perhaps believe Duo had known somehow – known what soon was to happen. Known that soon
he'd tear them apart at the seams and scatter them to the harsh wind. Perhaps he had known he
needing to give at least one more good memory to their time together.
~~~
Quatre cleared away the breakfast dishes after washing and drying them. Placing them back in
the cupboard, he smiled as he remembered Aika coming over the other day to talk with Duo and
fill him in on how the children were doing. It had also been decided then that Aika would take
over the house once… the inevitable happened. Duo had seemed only a tad wistful as he
announced this but didn't seem as disturbed as perhaps others would have been.

/Such strength, no wonder he was a gundam pilot,/ Quatre thought to himself. He was going to
talk with Wufei and Heero while Trowa played some chess with Duo. Later on all five would find
a card game to play.


"Is he okay?" Wufei questioned with a frown as Heero shut Duo's door quietly. The Japanese boy
lowered his eyes and shook his head sadly. "What's wrong…?"

"He can't hold anything down at all. He's fallen asleep. I think we should let him keep his rest,"
Heero replied softly. The two Asian boys headed into the living room where Trowa and Quatre
were snuggled up on the couch. Wufei made a face at the two.

"Uh-uh, Wufei," Quatre grinned and wiggled a finger in the air, "no teasing!"

Wufei rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Whatever you say, sir. Of course, sir. I only listen to
you, sir…" Again he rolled his eyes and let out a snort. Quatre grinned at him and disentangled
himself from the most of Trowa's embrace.

Finally glancing over to Heero's face, Quatre frowned. "Ne, Heero, what is the matter?"

"Don't you…" Heero began. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and then attempted a small
smile that only made his cheek muscles rise. "Never mind. It must be nothing if you haven't felt
anything."

"No, no! Heero, what is it?" Quatre asked again, biting a lip nervously.

Heero sat down and frowned. "Can't you feel it in the air…?"

All were silent and still, as if waiting for something – a sound, smell, sight… anything to hint at
what was going on. For some reason a small breeze passed through the room and climbed up
Quatre's spine in a chill. Apparently it was the same for Heero for he shivered slightly. "I… think I
can feel it."
~~~
Duo woke up in the early evening hours. He was rather drowsy and still not recovered from his
long nap. He yawned and winced at the soreness it caused. /Damn… headache's bad…/ He shut
his eyes and rested his head back more firmly in the pillow. He didn't feel like getting up yet.

The ache throughout his body was too much, his feet numb as were his hands. Something
crawled up at him through his middle and was biting evilly at his chest and abdomen. He just
wished it would stop so that he could rest again.

With his eyes closed, everything was dark and blocked out. He didn't have to see reality – or not
usually at least. As he lay there, flashes of blue crossed his 'inner-sight' under closed eyelids. He
frowned and opened his eyes but his room was comfortably dark.

He closed his eyes again and waited. This time the blue flashed followed by red, and brown, and
black, and white… the colors began spinning quickly and taking on blob-like forms of objects and
eyes. Slowly be began to see the repeat of his friend's faces.

Trowa staring at him with cool eyes of green, one covered with long, brown bangs. Quatre
gazing worriedly with crystalline eyes and a strand of blonde getting in the way. Wufei and his
hard, yet concerned ebony look with no hair marring his bronze face. Heero with his cobalt blue
and locks of messy-brown hair that slightly obscured his features.

Duo thrashed about on bed as best he could, but he felt so weak and his eyes did not want to
open. /Nnn… what is this?/ He was spinning within colors again and this time he found himself
staring at the outline of Deathscythe Hell. The tall gundam's dark wings cast deep shadows
bringing the ominous feeling of death and destruction. The outline changed, growing smaller and
slimmer.

To the figure of a human wearing billowing robes of gray and black. Lavender eyes pierced out
from a shaded face and dark, dark hair of brown in shoulder length blew about the face. A hand
produced a staff and held it out, offering to pull Duo in. Duo stared, wondering now if he was a
dream. He reached and paused. His hand again moved, but of its own accord. Worried, Duo tried
to pull back but couldn't make himself.

Slowly the struggle fell from his face and his lips parted in amazement as he touched the dark
staff. His fingers glowed gold and the shine traveled throughout his body, filling him and making
him gasp for air. Everything about him exploded into silver particles and he felt himself being
pulled sharply into pain.

He found himself awake and leaning painfully on his elbows with his head thrown back in a silent
scream of pain. Duo leaned against the headboard, panting heavily in the air of the night. It was
dark and obviously night as he tried to gather his senses. A glance at the clock confirmed his
believes. It was the first time that he had woken around midnight.

He assumed the others were still up, they usually mentioned talking late into the night. He grimly
smiled but winced as a bout of pain took him. His chest ached and he felt like he was being
ripped apart. It was as if his vocal cords were ripped from his throat, though, and he wasn't able
to voice anything.

He began to cry, tears rolling down his cheeks and glistening in the dark. He couldn't make a
sound even though he desperately wanted to. He had wanted to say goodbye, explain what he
wanted. He'd –

But the pain was moving to his abdomen and putting flames to his mid section. Weak, thin
fingers gripped at the wood of a bedpost but he couldn't grab. He slipped, falling silently to his
knees on the floor with his body pressed awkwardly against the side of the bed. He couldn't feel
anything and he felt dazed.

His pupils were dilated and his breathing harsh. His arms and legs were numb and soon he
couldn't even feel air filling his throat. Wondering what was wrong with him, Duo closed his eyes.
If he could just sleep he'd be okay… he'd get his strength back. He smiled over the intense pain
that was being driven like a stake repeatedly into his chest. He closed his eyes.

Within the dark of Duo's bedroom the harsh sounds of intake and outtakes of air sped up to an
abnormal speed. With not even a second, silence droned the room and deafened any listening.
Cloth against cloth sounded and a very dull thump hit the ground as a weak body began to grow
chill.
~~~
Quatre screamed.

Wufei was in the middle of a sentence and suddenly the scream escaped the blonde's mouth as
he collapsed to the floor and began gripping at his chest. "NANI?! Quatre! Daijoubu?! QUATRE!"
Trowa shouted, shaking his lover that wouldn't stop.

It hit suddenly and Trowa was up on his feet and leaping over the couch in a fluid movement in a
matter of seconds. Heero was close behind, heart racing and fear choking his throat. Trowa was
the first within the bedroom and the lights were immediately turned on.

He didn't even bother going in.

Duo was collapsed on the floor at an odd angle and was completely still. Everything just seemed
to freeze as Quatre's screams died. Trowa turned away and walked calmly down the hall back to
his lover. His chin was shaking with the suppressed tears, however. Wufei had also guessed and
was already sitting with his face hidden.

Heero stayed just outside the doorway with absolutely no feeling whatsoever. His limbs were
numb, his body seemed nothing, not even a mist. He couldn't feel anything, physically or
emotionally. His vision fogged around the only clear shape in the room – Duo's body. It was
slumped and obviously had been previously been in pain.

The Japanese boy's fingertips touched the door handle and closed the door and turned the lights
off. He didn't even realize he was doing anything or that tears were streaming from his eyes as
his mouth hung open a gape. He walked like a robot and didn't focus on anything. He walked
into the living room and just stopped, denying. No one dared to look at him.

He fell. He couldn't hold it anymore. Heero went to his knees and curled up as he sobbed and
cursed the whole world and the Romerfellar Foundation. His tears never seemed to stop, burning
onto his cheeks like permanent scars.
~~~
No one had strength to move let alone announce the news. It was nearly two in the afternoon of
the next day when Wufei got himself to call Sally. She took the news with a pained expression
and whispered an apology.

The boys remained in the living room in various positions. Quatre curled up beside Trowa on the
couch, both fairly still and silent. Wufei was sitting in a meditative position and was tuned out
from his surroundings, needing the escape. Heero sat off on his own, staring at the far wall with
his hands clasped in his lap. His eyes were large and empty as if the life had been sucked from
him.

The house was a pressing silence that nothing could break.

Aika and Sally came over later within the afternoon but no one could force themselves to speak.
It wasn't until the next day that notice of the ex-gundam pilot's death was sent out to the various
odd-and-end friends they had picked up during the war.

Throughout the whole time, everyone moved with lethargic and robotic movement. Everything
seemed more automatic than anything. Quatre prepared the meals but would stop nearly every
other minute as he reminded himself he need not prepare a pain pill in any of the dishes. Had to
repeatedly remember the morning when Duo joyfully went about looking for what to cook for
everyone.

Tears were shed when one was private. Matters were slowly taken care of in impervious moods.
After long days last details were taken care of and notices were once again sent off. Aika moved
her few positions into the house with the help of Sally. The four ex-pilots packed their own things
and cleaned up the house while figuring out what to leave of Duo's things.


Aika, Sally, and the remaining pilots stood before the house and stared at it in silence as
memories flooded back. Duo jogging along the path, children standing by the door and cheering
when Duo stepped out…

Almost reluctantly, as if this was admitting the truth, they turned once again and headed to the
space port where they would be taking a shuttle to Earth. This would be goodbye.

And up in the man-made sky of the colony of L2, clouds moved slowly and filled with tears as
they realized the loss. There had been no actual good-byes verbally spoken. Indigo eyes teared
sadly as lips turned upward in a parting smile.
~~~ Owari ~~~

~~~~~
Series: Zetsumei no Yochimu
Part: Epilogue
Part Title: Partings [unedited]
By: Shinigami Goddess (Lionna)
E-mail: shinigami_goddess@netzero.com
Rating: PG-13ish
Pairings: 3x4/4x3 (implied and hinted), 2+1 mildly
Warnings: EW has not and will not happen for this story, some language, MAJOR angst.
Shonen-ai hints.
Background song: Track 14 of "Evita" CD Song: You Must Love Me. Ask me and I'll send you an
MP3 of the song! :)
Started: September 19, 2000 Completed: September 19, 2000
~~~~~
They arrived on earth carrying a precious burden with them as they traveled by bus to the huge
grounds dedicated to the passing souls of the war only months ago passed…

When the group from L2 came around the hill top they could look down and see a group of
people standing solemnly with clothes flitting in the wind. The girls looked up sadly, Catherine,
Noin, Hilde, Relena, and even Dorothy. Howard was also in the group as were some of the closer
Maguanac friends of Quatre. Hilde burst out crying and ran up to cry whoever she came in
contact with – which happened to be Heero, actually.

He didn't resist, finally understanding the feeling of loss. He just wrapped his arms loosely about
her waist and dropped his head forward, as a few of his own wayward tears trekked his face.

"A virus…" Relena whispered softly. She bit her lip and turned her gaze away. /What a fool I've
been…/ she thought. /To ever have wished to have him to myself. They really were always a
team. Family in more ways than one./ She turned back and watched as Hilde pulled away from
Heero and sniffled sadly. "I am sorry," the blonde said quietly, finally.

Heero just glanced at her briefly and Relena kept steady. She saw the emotion there and
understood. Tears came up in her eyes as her lips fought to keep as an emotionless line. He'd
learned something while away from her. He had found something that she could never teach
him.

"Heero," Trowa handed the clay-formed urn holding previous contents to the Japanese boy.
Silently Heero took it and moved forward, past the group until he stood on the edge of the slope
they were on. He looked at the lip, as if afraid to open in. Afraid to let go yet.

Behind him, Quatre and Trowa held hands tightly, standing beside Catherine as she lent her own
support. The others stood fairly much alone and watched. Heero's solitary figure was outlined
within the line of the fading sun. He looked up at the earth sky and marveled at how the wind
brushed his cheeks lightly.

Moisture caught in the wind brushed his lips and he was reminded of a single kiss that was out of
desperate call for help. A soft smile appeared on his face and he closed his eyes, taking off the
lid gently. Ever so slowly, his eyes opened and he let the contents fly free.

The ashes danced wildly in the wind, holding together in a wavering finger that lingered before
the group. Unhappy to be defied, the wind tore wickedly at the particles holding tightly together.
A stream of ash blew in the wind as the shape of a braid being undone. Just as the wind
enforced its strength, a hand of ash moved to wave.

At last the wind won and the particles burst apart, flying everywhere and nowhere at once. Just
as the soul had been in life, the ashes of his body streamed out to explore all that there was to
offer. Sadly, Heero closed his eyes and bowed his head. No tears came this time.

But it was the final parting.

A hand rested on his shoulder and he was surprised when he turned to see Relena smiling
weakly at him with tears in her eyes. "Daijoubu…" she whispered so softly it was almost as if she
was lipping it. Heero gave in and wrapped his arms about the girl he once thought he would
always find annoying. She embraced him tightly and kissed his forehead. "Daijoubu…" she
whispered again.

The group said their farewells silently, still trying to follow lingering ashes within the air.
Sparkling brilliantly, a few tiny drops of rain in the shapes of tears fell. The sky was clear of all
but a few, scattered, white clouds. Heero looked up and half-smiled. /There should not be tears
in heaven, Duo. You know you did your absolute best. And we shall never forget… you need not
cry./

The wind picked up and danced dry, fall leaves about the expanses of graves. Within his pocket,
Heero fingered the necklace that he had kept after Quatre's convincing. "Let us go," Dorothy
murmured.

Nodding, they turned as one and walked, parting ways in silence.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Owari
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Explanation (as posted on Lionna's Corner of [Anime] Fanfiction, September 30,
2000):
Explanation of "Zetsumei no Yochimu"
Ohayo all! Well this is my bit of "explanation" page to Zetsumei no Yochimu. There is much I probably need
to answer for so I'll go through and point out what's up.
First all, I must give credit where credit is due: 1) The story idea is based upon the emotional story entitled
"Regrets". I am sorry to say I cannot recall the author but hopefully the title should be enough. The main
idea was sort of taken from her (Duo being sick and dying) so I thought I needed to give that credit. 2) The
song "Bent" used in chapter two is by Matchbox 20 and I do not own the lyrics, I just use 'em cuz I love
that song. 3) In Part Four: Breaking, there is the scene in which Duo and Heero are on the rooftop of a
building overlooking the city. Their lines (which are not mine!) are: "Y-you're joking.... right?" "Of course I'm
joking!" and Duo's actions and Heero's stunned response. Okay, what I mean by that is that those few lines
are NOT ORIGINAL. I completely got the idea from one of the neatest anime movies: Please Save My Earth.
The lines are pretty much word-for-word. Anyhow, just thought I'd let everyone know that.
Want to know the title now? Forgive my grammar errors that I'm sure to have with it, but from what I
know Zetsu = desperate (the way I'm using it) or perhaps hopeless. I'm not sure which it is exactly but
either way works I guess. Ute = song. So the title is "Desperate Song". Why? Well I did just spend about
ten minutes trying to figure out what the hell I was going to call this thing. I went through some chapters,
thought of "fading smile" or "no need for tears" [see prologue] or various other things. I just couldn't come
up with a right name. Then I though "impossible dream"! But I wanted that to be in Japanese and couldn't
think of how you say that.... darnit. I kept thinking and since I was thinking along the lines of impossible
dream -- which I thought of after thinking of the ZetsuAi/Bronze music videos -- I thought, why not use
"zetsu" in the title? So then it was, what's the other word. Ute.... I don't know exactly why song. I think it
fits though. See if you can figure out how I apply the term 'ute '/'song' to my story. ^__~ We've been doing
literary terms in school so I'm stuck on symbolism. ;;U_U
So then.... how do I explain myself for this story? I'm not fully sure. Looking at the date at which I started,
June 25-July 5, that was during a time just around when I went to the anime expo in Anaheim, California. It
was also at a point in time that I had to write or go insane. I'm not trying to be funny there, either, okay? I
was quite upset and depressed at the time and escaped into my writings. And so I began a story that I
knew I could write. I wrote this because I know very well how it is to watch as someone you love and
cherish -- that you think will always be there -- begins to fade away and eventually leaves you. Then again,
I know the strain of trying to make everyone else feel okay and comfortable, not aware of what's going on.
Okay, enough of my babble. If there are any questions on anything, please contact me. I have gotten like
no replies on this story. And minna, this is the work I'm actually proud to have written. This is the piece that
I finally can write in the style I like... I've honestly been completely lost since I finished it and it's actually
kept me up for nights on end just trying to think of something else to write.
Jya.
~Lionna~Shinigami Goddess~ & Muse-in-training: Eien
September 30, 2000
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