Still getting used to the whole fanfiction thing. This will be my first serious multi-chapter story that people might actually read. Eep! I can't promise regular updates, but if I haven't updated in over a week and you don't hate it feel free to yell at me to keep writing. :)

Pride

"Stay..." he whispered, almost pleading.

Although she knew that pleading wasn't really his way, she knew that she had to keep herself in control. She was in charge and he had to know it. She looked down on him with disdain, "What do you think this is, Spike?" The answer hung in the air. He couldn't think of a right answer. He couldn't say what he wished it would be. She was a cold bitch and would laugh it off anyway.

"You could at least thank a bloke for his...services"

"Yeah...right," she scoffed, glancing at him while putting on her bra, "You know you get more out of this than I do."

He stared at her, trying to think of a biting comeback while she got into the rest of her clothes.

"That's not what it sounded like when you were writhing beneath me...mmm, Spike, yes harder!"

She snapped her head toward him and glared. He was smirking and chuckling darkly.

"You're a pig, Spike!" She yelled on her way out. His laughter rang in her ears long after she slammed the door to the crypt.

Why do I do this to myself?

The words repeated in her head on the walk home.

He's repulsive. He's disgusting. He's...beneath me. That's it! Beneath me. I'm better than this. Better than him.

The first sunrays of dawn began to peek over the horizon when she opened the front door to her home. To her relief it was quiet. Everyone was still asleep...for the moment anyway. She looked at the digital clock on the microwave. 6:18am. In less than fifteen minutes the house would be full of activity. Dawn would be getting ready for school and, she was sure, Willow and Tara would follow suit and get ready for their day. No time to shower. She ran up to her room for a change of clothing and heard the obnoxious beeping of an alarm clock while dressing. Although Dawn was not a morning person, Buffy was sure that she would be up and beating on the bathroom door in five minutes. She had to act quickly.

"Just cooperate!" She grumbled at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She was glad she made it home when she did. There was no denying that she had sex hair and it did not want the hairbrush to tame it. The bruises on her arms would be easy to explain. The hickeys would be a little harder. A vampire kind of bit me but I fought him off? It was a stretch...

While contemplating how to explain the more conspicuous bruises she heard the door slam.

"Buffster? Dawnie?" Xander. Couldn't he have waited five minutes? At least enough for Buffy to use some concealer on her neck while the bruises healed?

"I'll be right down!" She heard Dawn call.

Ripping a brush through her hair and doing her best to do a 30 second concealer job while Dawn banged on the bathroom door, Buffy looked into the mirror. Really looked.

You're better than him, Buffy. You don't need to do this. Tonight you won't go and he'll see that you do what you want when you want. You are a Slayer. THE Slayer.

"Buffy! Stop hogging the bathroom! It's MY turn!" Dawn shrieked, still pounding on the bathroom door.

Block it out. Block it all out. You're better than that. You're better...